Chapter 25 Ash
ASH
You’d think graduating high school would earn me a little bit of my brother’s attention, but when I hit town, he’s missing.
Ruder still, so is my supposed best friend who should be celebrating with me.
“Hey, stranger,” I say, tipping my invisible cowboy hat from her doorway.
Then I notice she’s not alone. “Oh shit! Sorry!”
Right as the words come out, a head of familiar dark hair pops up from her pillow. “Oh my god! Shane?” Whipping my head to Nik, I bark, “What the fuck? Are you sleeping with my brother?”
“Shit. Ash. I’m so sorry. What are you doing here?” she asks, scrambling out of bed, attempting to shield him, like I haven’t already seen that my brother is in her bed.
“You’ve been avoiding me!” I point my finger at Shane. “What’s he doing here?”
The whole time his eyes are trained on the ceiling.
“Uh. Well, he’s my boyfriend.” She winces. “I’d tell you exactly what he’s doing here, but I really doubt you want to know since—you know, he’s your brother.”
“Ew, Nik!”
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Go wait for me outside. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I head out to the porch and sit in one of the white rocking chairs. Nik’s house is tiny, but it’s charming.
The front door swings open. “Okay, hear me out. I never meant to fall for your brother.” She moves across the porch and hikes herself up on the railing in front of me. “It just kind of happened. I swear I was gonna tell you.”
“Nik, I don’t care. I just can’t believe you hid it from me?”
“Really? I was so worried you’d hate me when you found out.”
“I mean, it’s weird, but I love you both. It might take some getting used to, but if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Oh my god! I’m so happy. I think I might love him.”
“Shit! Wait, how long have you been dating?”
“Since the end of last summer. After you left, I ran into him and we’ve kind of been together since.”
I smile. “I’m happy for you.”
“I’ve been such a shitty friend, Ash. I’m so sorry.”
Narrowing my eyes, I say, “I’ll forgive you if you promise to ditch him tonight to hang out with me.”
She grins. “Deal.”
The door swings open again, and my brother, now fully clothed, steps out.
“Good morning, sunshine.” I beam up at him as he pops a cigarette between his lips and lights it. “Ew. You’re so gross.”
He flips me off, sitting in the chair next to mine. “So, what are we talking about?”
“I’m stealing your girlfriend tonight.” I stick my tongue out.
“Great. Finally, I can get a minute away from her. Your friend’s real clingy, you know.” He pretends to whisper, pointing at her.
Nik slips off her shoe and throws it at his big dumb head. “I’ll remember that the next time you climb through my window in the middle of the night.”
He laughs, leaning back in his chair and taking a drag. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?”
She quirks a brow, and the weirdest thing happens.
My brother, the smartass, pain in my side that’s a prick to literally everyone, says, “I was teasing. I’m sorry.”
And winks at her, actually winks. I about fall out of my chair.
Nik lifts her chin. “You’re gonna have to do better than that.”
A dimple appears on Shane’s face, and his lips purse to hold back a smile. “I take it back. You aren’t clingy.”
“And?”
“And I am in fact not excited to have a minute away.”
“And?” she asks, lifting a brow and crossing her arms.
“What the fuck? I don’t know?” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What else do you want from me?”
Pointing a finger at him, she says, “Admit that you’re the clingy one.”
Gabe pulls up in his classic car and honks. His eyes meet mine and linger for a beat too long.
Shane’s brows crease, and his lip curls as he stands. “Oh, fuck right off!”
Nik howls with laughter.
Putting out the cigarette, he jogs down the porch to jump in the car.
“See you later, loser!” she shouts after him, waving a hand in the air. He flips her off with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. The whole thing is equal parts confusing, nauseating, and adorable.
He smacks Gabe upside the head before saying, “Stop staring at my sister, dumbass.”
Nik convinces me to spend our girls’ night at the clubhouse. I’m not sure you can still call it girls’ night if Shane’s there, but I’m just happy to spend the evening with her.
When we pull into the parking lot, there are people everywhere. We get out and walk up to the door, finding Gabriel standing outside with a group of people. He glances in my direction, giving me a tight-lipped smile, but doesn’t say anything.
I don’t know what I was expecting. After digging through my closet for thirty minutes, I decided on a white floral-embroidered dress.
I put my hair up and took it back down a dozen times until finally throwing it into a bun and saying forget it.
The whole time I pictured Gabriel getting one glance and whisking me into his arms.
Stupid, right?
I smile back, pretending I’m not disappointed and walk into the building.
Inside, the music is deafening, and it smells like alcohol. It’s just like I remember it the night I was drugged. My stomach clenches. I hadn’t really thought about how I’d feel coming back here for the first time.
“Hey, baby,” Shane says, grabbing Nik around the waist and pulling her to him. When he releases her, he pulls me into a hug next.
“Hey, shithead.”
“Hi.” I wave awkwardly.
“I’m in the middle of a game, but I’ll come find you when I’m done,” he says to Nik before heading back to the pool table.
“I’m gonna get a drink. Want one?” she asks.
“No. I think I’ll drink water tonight.”
We find two seats at the bar. A red neon sign that reads Ravens Ridge Riders hangs above a wall of liquor bottles.
After a while, a man sits next to me, smiling, and says, “Well, hello.”
He has dark wavy hair and deep brown eyes. Tattoos snake up both arms.
“I’m JT.” He holds out his hand, and I shake it.
“Ash.”
“Oh.” His eyes widen. “Shane’s baby sister.”
I nod.
“He threatened all of us before you got here.”
“What?” I ask.
“Yep, if anyone touches you”—he makes a slicing motion across his neck—“he’ll kill ’em.”
My eyes bulge, and my mouth pops open.
“Unfortunately for Shane, I can take him,” he laughs.
If you didn’t know he was in a motorcycle club, you could mistake him for a GQ model. He’s taller than Shane, and his shirt clings to his lean body.
“Well, unfortunately for you, I’m not interested in anyone from this club.”
Well, no one who’s interested in me.
He nods. “Well, if that changes, you know where to find me. With that being said, I’m a great friend.”
“Good to know.” I grin.
“So, who’re you looking for?” At my pinched expression, he huffs. “Oh, come on. That door is not interesting enough to earn this much of your attention.” He darts his eyes over, then back, and over again dramatically.
“I uh—”
Have I been doing that?
“No, I’m just paranoid. My last time here was, well… not great.”
“I heard.” He gives me a sad smile. “Nothing like that will happen tonight. Anyone even looks at you wrong I’ll snap their neck.” He smiles for real this time.
“What? Why?”
“We’re friends now.” He nudges me with his elbow.
“We are?” I giggle. “I don’t remember agreeing to that.”
“Yeah, well.” He shrugs. “I decided we are.”
Squinting, I bite my bottom lip before saying, “You’re trouble, aren’t you?”
“Oh, fuck yeah. I’m the most trouble, but I’ve got your back.” He winks. “Always.”
I don’t know why, but I want to be his friend. Have you ever met someone and you just instantly know that you can trust them? That’s what it’s like meeting JT. There’s something so warm about him that I feel like we could talk all night.
“Okay, deal. We can be friends.”
I glance at the door again as Gabriel walks in. A tall redhead strolls over, wrapping herself around him.
Well, shit.
My heart drops to my stomach, and I wish I had better control of my face because I’m pretty sure it’s fallen.
JT clocks my disappointment. “Oh… shit. You were looking for Gabe?”
“No? No. I—”
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. But for the record, that’s Lily. I don’t think he’s interested these days, but that doesn’t stop her.”
“These days?”
“Yeah, I mean he used to screw around with her, but I don’t think he has in a while.”
“I don’t care.” Obviously, I’m lying, but who wants to be the little sister pining over her brother’s best friend who won’t ever give her the time of day?
“Okay.” As if he doesn’t believe me, he adds, “If you say so.”
“I do,” I bite.
He throws his hands up defensively. “Want to play pool?”
“Uh…” I shake my head. “I don’t really know how.”
“That’s okay, I’ll teach you.” He stands. I thought he was tall before but, holy shit. He towers over me. “Maybe it’ll distract you from staring at that dipshit.” He nods toward Gabriel.
Turns out JT is a really good friend. He’s spent the last hour trying to teach me to play pool. I’m horrible at it, but I’m having so much fun I don’t care. My cheeks burn from laughing so much.
“Okay, new plan. You’re naturally terrible, so maybe just cheat.”
“What?!” I whip my head around.
“I mean, I think you’re a lost cause. Knock a few in when no one’s looking.” He laughs. “That’s the only chance you’ve got.”
I shove his shoulder. “You’re terrible!”
“No, my dear, you are terrible. I’m trying to help you.” He places a hand on my lower back and guides me toward the bar. “Let’s let someone else have the table so they don’t have to be subjected to watching this anymore.”
I’m stopped by a hand around my upper arm.
“Can I talk to you?” a familiar voice says.
Gabriel stands slightly behind me, glaring daggers at JT who grins like a child.
“I guess.” I let him lead me back to the hallway by the bathroom.
He’s pissed.
I yank my arm away from him. “What the hell is your problem?”
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“With JT.”
“Uh, playing pool? What’s it look like?”
My brows pinch, trying to puzzle out what he thinks he saw.
“It looked like more than pool, Ash. What the fuck? Do you have some kind of crush on him or something?”
“No? He’s my friend.” Crossing my arms, I say, “Kind of like how I thought you were my friend.”
“Friend?” He scoffs. “You don’t even know him.”
“Right. I just met him, but he’s already a better friend than you.”
He rears back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He doesn’t ignore me. News flash. I got here a week ago, and you’ve barely acknowledged my presence. You haven’t even spoken to me tonight until now. You’ve been too busy with that redhead.”
He rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t trying to ignore you, Ash.”
“Well, you did.” I feel like a child throwing a tantrum, but I don’t care. My feelings are hurt. “I thought—I mean, all those letters, I—” Pressing my fingers into my lips, I sigh and look away.
He steps in closer. “What?”
I blink a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay before quietly saying, “I thought you liked me.”
His jaw tics.
“Look, I should go. This was a bad idea.”
As I start to walk away, he grabs my wrist, spinning me to face him. He stares down at me. His throat bobs, but he still doesn’t say anything. My eyes sting, and it’s like someone’s laid a brick on my chest.
“Fuck—” he mutters and bites his bottom lip. “I was trying to ignore you. I’ve been trying to ignore you.”
He lets go, and my skin feels bare without his warmth. Giving me his back, he lifts his face to the ceiling with his hands on his hips. His shoulders rise with a deep inhale.
I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or himself when he says, “This is wrong. You’re Shane’s little sister. I’m not supposed to—”
When he turns back to me, there’s something different in his eyes. They burn into me for a moment too long before he mutters, “Fuck it.”
“What—”
He cuts me off when his mouth slams into mine.
Holy shit. I was right!
He guides me until my back is against the wall.
His lips are soft, and he smells faintly like the cigarette he smoked earlier.
Normally I wouldn’t find that so attractive, but it is on him.
One of his hands slides up the back of my neck into my hair, and the other squeezes my hip.
His tongue darts out, and I open to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I don’t want this moment to ever end.
I’m completely lost in him when he breaks the kiss, staring at me for a moment before squeezing his eyes closed.
“Shit,” he whispers, taking a step back.
“What?”
His face scrunches, and he runs his hands over it. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Before I can ask what he means, he adds, “We can’t do this.”
I shake my head, searching his face for answers. My neck heats, and my heart pounds against my sternum. “I don’t understand.”
He exhales, tilting his head to the side. “Ash, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but—”
He regrets kissing me.
My heart sinks because I know he just blew up our friendship.
Pressing my fingers into my mouth that’s still craving his, I murmur, “Oh my god.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
Still shaking my head, I cut him off. “No.”
What the hell is happening. My vision blurs as tears well in my eyes. “That was cruel.”
He opens his mouth, but I don’t let him speak. “How dare you play with my head like that? I thought you were my friend!”
I admitted that I have feelings for him, and he kissed me only to take it back immediately. I feel betrayed and humiliated.
With his lips pressed tightly together, he stares at me.
My bottom lip trembles. “Don’t ever speak to me again!”
When I start to leave, a crowd has formed. JT gives me puppy-dog eyes, and I feel like a fool. My cheeks are on fire, making the tears feel cool.
“What’s wrong?” Shane grabs my shoulders. Then he glares at Gabriel. “What the fuck did you do?”
Gabriel storms off.
“Come on. I’ll take you home.” JT grabs my hand, guiding me out of the building as Shane takes off after Gabriel.
Once we’re in the truck, I break down. I just want to get out of here. I don’t want to stay in this stupid town this summer. I hate it here, and I hate Gabe. I convinced myself he was someone else with me, but he isn’t.
“You okay?”
“No, not really?”
“He didn’t mean that.”
“It sure sounded like he did.”
“Listen, I know this isn’t gonna make you feel better, but I’m gonna say it anyway. Gabe’s a great friend, but emotionally, he’s a child.”
“Well, he wasn’t a great friend to me,” I mutter, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand.
“True, but I don’t think he really wants to be your friend.”
“Obviously.” I roll my eyes.
He doesn’t want to be anything to me.
“No. I mean, he obviously wants more than that.”
Snapping my head toward him, I bite, “Is that why he humiliated me?”
“Well, no. He did that because he’s an idiot. You don’t have to forgive him, but mark my words, he didn’t mean any of that.”
When I don’t respond, he says, “I’m sorry, though.”
“I just want out of this stupid town.”