Chapter 27 Ash
ASH
“Ican find you a T-shirt to sleep in if you want,” Gabriel says as we step into his bedroom. His apartment’s about what you’d expect from a twenty-year-old guy. There’s no decor, and everything’s a little messy. But it’s not as bad as Shane’s room used to be.
He’s clearly the tidier of the two. I was here last summer, but with everything that’d happened with Max, I didn’t pay that much attention. This time, I take in every detail.
His bed sits on the right side of the room with blue flannel sheets. Posters of cars and motorcycles are tacked up on the walls. I’m a little surprised there aren’t clothes strung across the floor.
He pulls a shirt from the dresser in the corner and tosses it to me, nodding to the door that I know leads to a bathroom.
I smile, moving across the room and closing myself inside to change. Even his bathroom’s cleaner than I’d expect. His mother must be very proud. I slip out of my clothes and into his black T-shirt as a wave of butterflies flutter across my chest.
I’ve not dated much. And my lack of experience in this department makes my hands sweat. Jordan’s the only guy I’ve had sex with. I don’t know what Gabe expects.
If I stay, is he going to expect me to have sex with him?
My stomach clenches.
Coming out of the bathroom, I’m stopped dead in my tracks by a shirtless Gabe standing beside his bed.
A black raven tattoo that matches his leather cut covers the majority of his back with the words The Ravens Ridge Riders arching above and below the bird.
Every muscle is visible under his skin, causing my cheeks to heat.
I must have a look on my face because when he glances at me, he says, “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, faking a smile. “Nothing.”
He narrows his eyes, taking three long strides to me before resting his hands on my hips. “Try again.”
I sigh. What do I say? I’m freaking out because I’m afraid you’re going to try to have sex with me and I don’t know if I’m ready for that?
“I—”
He leans closer. “You what?”
“I’ve only ever had sex once.”
Good job, Ash. Blurt out the most awkward shit you can think of. If I could smack myself upside the head, I would.
He cocks his head to the side. “Okay…?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. Not that we’re having sex. But if you wanted to, I don’t want you to be disappointed. I don’t really know how any of this works.” Shut up, Ash. “Not that I think you’re just trying to sleep with me or anything.”
He grins.
“I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m just not good at this sort of thing. Shit.” I press my fingers into my lips. “I’m so sorry. I’m rambling.” As embarrassing as it is, tears prick my eyes.
“Hey.” He bends down to eye level. “I don’t expect anything. I just wasn’t ready for you to leave. Don’t freak out.”
I swallow, nodding. “I’m just nervous.”
“You don’t say?” He chuckles. “Look, I don’t ever want to do something you aren’t ready for. You don’t have to be nervous with me.”
My shoulders relax as he pulls me into a hug. My cheek presses against his hard chest when he wraps his arms around me, lifting my feet from the floor and putting me in his bed.
He stares down at me. “We can take this slow, but I’m all in.” His thumb brushes my cheek. “I’ve been all in.”
My heart leaps, and I roll my lips under, holding back a smile.
“I don’t plan on seeing anyone else, but I also don’t think it’s fair for me to ask that of you on the first date, so I don’t expect that in return. I just have no interest in anyone else.”
“This is a date?”
“I mean, yeah, sort of.” He brushes a stray curl from my face. “Obviously, I’ll take you out on a real date sometime. I just figured it might be nice to chill after the fiasco of last night.”
Nothing can conceal my wide grin this time.
He quirks a brow. “Is that a yes? You’ll go on more dates with me?”
I nod, eagerly. “Yeah. I’ll go on all the dates with you, Gabriel.”
He slips into bed beside me, pulling my body to his. His skin pressed against mine ignites something in my core. One corner of his mouth lifts. His full lashes flutter as he takes in every inch of my face like he’s trying to commit it to memory.
“You’re so fucking pretty,” he says.
It’s funny because being called pretty shouldn’t be so heart stopping. But when he says it, it is. It’s in the way the words leave his lips, sounding like I’m the prettiest girl he’s ever seen.
My lips tingle from wanting him to kiss me again, and my chest rises and falls heavier than before. His blue eyes meet mine, and his tongue makes a pass over his full bottom lip.
He snorts a laugh, rolling to his back to stare up at the ceiling.
I deflate a little, I want him over here, tangled up with me—staring at me.
“This is wild.” Rolling his head in my direction, he says, “I almost can’t believe you’re here.”
Blushing, I ask, “What do you mean?”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you for a single minute since you left last summer.”
My eyes roll. “You’re so full of shit.”
“No. I’m dead serious.” His brows raise. “I really don’t think I’m ever gonna let you leave again.”
I bite my lip. “Deal.”
The backs of his fingers ghost across my cheek.
I like the way his bed smells. And I know that’s a weird thing to think, but it’s true.
There’s a layer of his cologne, but it doesn’t smell exactly like it does on his skin because it swirls with the clean notes of his shampoo on his pillow, and a hint of laundry soap, all mixed with what I can only describe as him.
I imagine it’s that pheromone thing they say you only like if you’re attracted to someone—or is it you’re only attracted to someone when they have the right pheromones.
I don’t know, but I feel like I might drown in it if I don’t kiss him.
I bring my lips to his softly. My heart thunders in my chest. When I pull back, he slides his hand into my hair, bringing our mouths together again. He shifts to his side, his hand finding its way to my lower back, pressing my body to his.
Every inch of my skin feels like it’s on fire.
When his tongue parts my lips and sweeps my mouth, I slide my leg up to drape over him.
His fingers dig into my hip. I might actually melt right into the blankets.
Something shifts—soft waves growing hungry as they crash into the shore. I can’t get enough.
His leg shifts forward just enough to press between mine, sending a wave of heat coiling up every vertebra. Lost in the moment, I roll my hips and sweep my tongue across his in time with the ribbons of molten lava twirling in my abdomen.
He takes his mouth from mine and opens his eyes.
My breath hitches. I want more. Our heavy breaths rise and fall simultaneously before he pulls me on top of him as he rolls to his back.
I straddle his hips, lowering my chest to his and bringing my lips to his neck.
The panic from earlier a forgotten echo now.
I just want to touch him. His hands roam up my bare legs, causing goosebumps to erupt over my skin.
He groans, and I sit up to stare at him.
I’ve never been so attracted to someone in my whole life. I just want to look at him, commit every inch of his body to my memory. I never want to forget a single minute with this man.
He grimaces, rolls me off him, and says, “Shit. Sorry. I swear, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. I kind of got caught up in the moment.”
I shake my head. “I don’t feel pressured. I just wanted to look at you.”
He swallows, blinking at me like he doesn’t know what to do. Without saying a word, I climb back on top of him, letting my hands rest on his chest. He doesn’t move.
I lean forward, placing my lips back on his. He gives me the moment, letting me explore his mouth while my hands wander over his skin. Grinding against him. His fingers trail over my legs until stopping to grab my ass.
When I break the kiss this time, I whisper, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Ash, we don’t have to—”
“I know. Just tell me what to do.”
He doesn’t say anything at first, just lies under me staring into my eyes like he’s trying to decide.
Then, he flips me to my back, sliding his hand under the T-shirt.
His fingers run over my lower stomach, causing me to shudder.
They skate over my skin, running laps on my body.
When he slides them between my legs, my eyes grow heavy.
It’s light at first, but when he presses his palm against me, I rock my hips.
My mouth pops open, and he covers it with a kiss.
Heat races up my neck. Pulling his lips from mine, he moves to my jaw then my neck, sucking and nipping at my skin as I practically ride his hand. His mouth covers my nipple through his shirt, and he sucks.
He slides his fingers into my panties and my back arches when they touch my bare skin. I grip his soft sheets. When he slides one finger in me, I gasp.
“I don’t know.” He smirks. “You seem to know what you’re doing.”
My eyes open, and I realize he’s staring at me. Breathless, I say, “I’m not doing anything.”
“You are.” The smirk fades, and his eyes turn hungry. “And no one has ever looked so beautiful doing it.”
His fingers curl, and his thumb finds my clit. I grind against him before breaking apart, whimpering as I clamp my thighs around his arm.
He kisses me through it—first firm and desperate, before turning soft. He takes me in, and the corner of his mouth lifts as he pulls his hand away and lies on his back.
My brows furrow when he tucks an arm behind his head.
Is that it?
It was great, but I kind of thought we were just getting started.
Sitting up, I ask. “What are you doing?”
“I told you this wasn’t about sex.” He shrugs.
My heart sinks. I didn’t think he meant he didn’t want to. I just thought he was trying to be respectful. Now I feel silly.
“Why are you making that face?” he asks.
“I uh… I think I misunderstood. I…” I half laugh to keep from crying. “I thought you were just saying we didn’t have to if I wasn’t ready. Not that you didn’t want to.”