Chapter Four
“So the thing we’ll work on first is paddling out and getting the pop-up.” Nimita was definitely a morning person. She had come to the beach with a pep in her step and energy for days.
The air was already warm, and the sun was up. Roshan still winced a bit when he moved. She’d left bruises.
“We’ll start on waves that have already broken and then try catching some waves.” She rested her gaze on him. “Basics first. Like chemistry.”
There was no judgment in her tone or expression. In fact, he recognized her neutrality—if he wasn’t actually on a white sand beach in Hawaii, he would have sworn he was sitting at his parents’ kitchen island in Maryland getting ready to balance chemical equations.
It was surprisingly easy for Roshan to lean back into the role of student. Especially when Nimita had always proven herself to be a fabulous teacher.
“Any questions?”
They all shook their heads.
“Great. There isn’t much of a crowd, so let’s get in and get a feel for paddling out with our arms.” Nimita turned and led the way.
She was wearing a one-piece bathing suit the color of the ocean.
It showed off her smooth, deep brown skin and toned muscles.
The muscles he had already met, but the curves and the skin were new to him. Pleasantly so.
He was more than aware of Vishal and Karan watching him closely, so he was grateful for the sunglasses but made sure to not let his gaze linger on her too long all the same.
“Are you getting this, Roshan?” Nimita was talking to him. He had no idea what she had said.
“Um. Yes. Paddling.” He stole a glance at the other two. They were lying in position on their boards, ready to paddle. And of course, they were smirking at him for being distracted by her.
Nimita rolled her eyes at him. “Stick with us, please. The ocean is not the place for you to daydream or day study or whatever it is you do. It’s not the moment to lose focus for the first time in your life. Keep up, or you won’t be the best.” She glanced at his side. “You’ve got enough bruises.”
He pressed his mouth into a line and copied what Vishal and Karan were doing. All while ignoring their smirks. Any hope he might have had about Nimita forgetting what he had said back then to her was clearly gone.
Nimita walked them through the basics of surfing, and within the hour, Vishal and Karan were able to pop up and catch the white wash. Roshan was unable to maintain a standing position on his board for more than a few seconds.
Roshan might have been team captain and the goalie because he was tall, but Vishal was lithe and flexible, making him an awesome striker, as well as surfer, apparently.
Though his love of snowboarding probably didn’t hurt, either.
Karan was cautiously adventurous, so it always took him a minute to catch up, something Roshan and Vishal always gave him a hard time for.
Karan had been an excellent midfielder and had made Roshan’s job much easier. But midfielders rarely got any glory.
It turned out that even though Karan was taller and debatably more muscular, he was also more graceful than Roshan. Roshan could barely even stand up long enough to catch any kind of wave. Unlike his friends, he was clumsy and awkward on the surf.
“Looks like you might need private tutoring,” Vishal murmured to him.
Roshan ignored him.
“You two practice here.” Nimita nodded at Vishal and Karan. “You.” She jutted her chin at Roshan. “Come with me.”
“Might as well, Roshan. She taught you chemistry in high school, after all.” Vishal laughed.
Roshan was not embarrassed about having had a tutor—hiring her had been his idea in the first place.
When Malini got sick, he’d spent so much time researching cancer and his focus had quickly become getting into a premed program in college.
He was fine with most sciences, but chemistry had never been his strong suit.
To excel at premed, he had needed a better grip on the principles of chemistry, and she had been the best. His focus had always been on being the best. Everything else was just a means to get there.
He had no idea why he felt the heat creep into his face. “Happy to have a great teacher again,” he said quickly to counter the flush.
Nimita kept quiet, barely looking at him. He had no idea if she heard his comment or not. “Let’s go.” She dragged her board across the water to a slightly more shallow, less crowded area without looking back. She clearly assumed he would follow.
He glanced at his friends who both grinned widely and waved him off.
Roshan grabbed his board and prepared to be pummeled by the ocean.
He shook his head at himself. His friends were thinking that he was faking incompetence just to have time alone with Nimita.
He really wasn’t. He had no idea how to fake incompetence.
But he wasn’t exactly complaining about having a few minutes of her undivided attention.
“Let’s work on balance,” she said, going out just a bit and standing up on her board with no effort. She wasn’t even wobbling. And he would know, he was studying her every muscle.
Roshan copied her and promptly found himself in the water.
“Try again,” she said. “This time I’ll help.”
He lay flat on his belly and paddled out until his board was parallel to hers. He popped up, and she put out her hands to him. He took them, and she helped him balance. It worked for maybe twenty seconds. She let go, and he went down, somehow taking her with him. They both ended up underwater.
“You are definitely an on-the-ground athlete,” she commented as she surfaced. Water droplets glistened on her deep brown skin. It was too cliché, even in his head, but it was true. He had a sudden desire to trace the path of the droplets over her body.
What?
He laughed to cut the tension building between them. “You’re not wrong.” The laugh sounded fake, even to him.
“Go again?” she asked, her expression not wavering.
“Yes.”
He lay flat on his board and popped up at her command. She reached out to him, and this time he stayed upright longer.
“Do you feel that?” she asked. “How you’re able to keep that balance?”
He nodded. His stance was wider, and he felt more solid on the board. He grinned into that feeling of accomplishment and caught her smiling at him. She quickly pressed her mouth back into a line when their eyes met.
“That’s what you’re going for. Keep practicing. I’m sure this will become just one more thing you’re great at.” She gave a small eye roll, which actually cut him. “When you’re ready, join your friends and try the white wash.”
She left him to practice and rejoined Vishal and Karan. Roshan practiced popping up until he could consistently do it and keep his balance. He only fell when he looked over at Nimita laughing and enjoying herself with Vishal and Karan, relaxed in a way that she wasn’t with him.
He knew she hadn’t forgotten their last encounter before graduation. He was going to have to say something.
But how did one apologize for being a complete asshole fifteen years ago?
* * *
The bruises showing on Roshan’s side were dark purple where she’d landed her first kick. She should probably feel a little bad, but he’d been a strange man in her room at night, and he was a bit of a jerk—back then and now.
He could have at any time since then apologized to her, but he had not seen fit to do so.
It wasn’t as if his words haunted her every day.
Or even at all; it had been fifteen years ago after all.
But seeing him…it brought back the pain of hearing him accuse her of cheating or purposely holding him back so that she could graduate first in their class.
After she had spent two nights a week for eighteen months at his parents’ kitchen island tutoring him in everything from chemical equations to the SATs. Sure, she’d been paid, but she had thought they were friends.
She hadn’t bothered having a crush on him—he wasn’t her type—but he had been funny and eager to learn. He didn’t try to spend the hour (and his parents’ money) goofing off like some of the other people she tutored.
She hadn’t really cared about what her standing was in the class.
She knew she was somewhere in the top ten.
She had her dream college admission (Purdue engineering with a full scholarship!).
Why would she have done any of the things he suggested?
She’d had no idea that he had wanted to be tutored so he could reach the number one spot.
He was welcome to it, as far as she had been concerned.
She glanced over to where he was practicing on the surfboard. He was persistent, she’d give him that. And he was getting better.
“Do you think Roshan even has what it takes to ride a wave?” Vishal asked, smirking.
She returned his smirk. “Do you have what it takes?”
Vishal bobbed his head back and forth. “Questionable.”
“You do. And so does Roshan. He just needs to get a feel for it,” she answered, resisting the urge to look back at him.
“You’re really pissed he broke into your room,” Karan noted as he popped up once again.
“Yeah,” she said distracted. “And other things.”
“What other things?” Karan asked.
She looked at both men. “He never told you?”
“Told us what?” Vishal asked.
They really had no idea. Huh. “Never mind.”
“You can tell us,” Vishal said with all the coyness of a gossiping auntie.
“That’s not happening.” She glanced over at Roshan, who was doing almost as well as his friends now. “He’s ready enough. Come on.” She waved Roshan over, and he joined them.
“Let’s ride the white wash for a bit,” she said to the three men in her teacher voice. She made minimum eye contact with Roshan as she spoke. “Then we’ll have breakfast and come back and find some waves.”
Vishal and Karan were almost immediately at ease with the white water. Roshan needed more time.
“Go ahead and take them out,” he said to her. “I’m fine practicing on my own.”
“Let’s have breakfast,” Vishal said. “Karan is looking faint.”
“I could eat,” Karan confirmed.
Nimita nodded, and they all headed for their towels. All except Roshan. She realized he wasn’t with the group after a few feet. She turned to find him still practicing.
Vishal sloshed back to her. “That’s Roshan,” he said softly, almost sadly. “He’s got to be the best at everything.”
Nimita looked back at Vishal. He seemed almost sorry for his friend. “Has he always been like this?”
Vishal nodded, his mouth in a line. The look in his eyes was pained.
“Why?”
Vishal glanced down at her, his face changing instantly, a smile replacing his concern. “I’m not that much of an auntie.”
Karan splashed past them and headed out to Roshan.
“Come on,” Vishal said to Nimita. “Let’s get a table. Karan can handle this.”
Nimita looked back at Roshan. He was still trying to pop up with ease. She furrowed her brow. Huh.
* * *
“Roshan. Time to let it go for a bit.” Karan approached, his voice gentle.
Roshan was no fool. He knew why Karan was here. Karan was the one who came when Roshan needed to be grounded, when Roshan got lost. Knowing this did not make it any easier to stop. It wasn’t a compulsion, exactly. It was just who he was.
Or at least who he wanted to be, but somehow could never quite become.
“Two more tries,” Roshan said.
Roshan popped up twice more, the last time with ease, and he maintained his balance.
Karan grinned. “Excellent. Let’s go before I eat your board.”
Roshan looked at his friend.
Karan nodded and waited. “We don’t care how good you are, or even if you want to surf at all. You can sit on the beach and drink, and we don’t care. We love you regardless of your accomplishments.”
Roshan’s mind started to settle. Of course. These guys were his family. The family he had chosen. Who had chosen him.
“Well, let’s eat.” Roshan grinned and picked up his board.
They hit the beach and left their boards at the rental stand, easily finding Nimita and Vishal at an outdoor table. Nimita was laughing at something Vishal said. Typical. Everyone laughed when Vishal spoke.
Weird that he envied Vishal in this moment.
“Huh.” Karan narrowed his eyes in jest. “Looks like V is making a play for your girl.”
“She’s not my girl,” Roshan retorted automatically, but he did feel the burn of the green monster within.
He suppressed the monster’s pull, because he had no claim over Nimita.
As if anyone could put a claim on her anyway.
To be fair, she’d never look his way anyway. He’d made sure of that at graduation.
“She does seem to have a special dislike of you. Even while she helps you,” Karan mused. “What did you do to her?” He was joking, but he had hit on it.
Roshan shrugged as they sat down.
“He’s not a pro, but he won’t drown,” Karan reported.
Nimita glanced at him, actually resting her gaze on him for moment, like she was trying to figure him out.
“Well, apparently Nimita can teach even a monkey to surf,” chuckled Vishal.
“She taught you, didn’t she?” Roshan said as the waiter brought coffee. A round of oooooohs from his buddies, and then they placed their orders.
Roshan leaned into the ribbing and relaxed as much as he could with Nimita still here.
Her presence was a constant reminder of his lowest moment, yet he found himself drawn to her, still trying to reconcile the girl he had known with the woman in front of him.
He found himself drinking in every smile she threw his way, even if it wasn’t intentional.
Unbidden warmth bloomed in him as took in how she seamlessly fit in with their little group.
Good thing he wasn’t looking for a relationship.