Chapter Thirteen #2
She reached out and gingerly picked up her phone as if moving too quickly would make the alert disappear. She checked the message.
Turn around.
Turn around? Did someone steal Roshan’s phone? Vishal. Of course. She let out a breath. Vishal was messing with her. Disappointment, strong and sudden, overwhelmed her.
She sighed as her body collapsed under weight of it.
Turn around. Please!
What? Okay. Now Vishal was going too far. A shadow fell across her, and she did turn around to see who was walking so close to her. But as she turned, Finn jumped and started barking and wagging so hard she thought he might fall over.
“Aw. Hey, Finn!”
That warm deep voice reached into her heart and set it thudding. She fully turned around to see Roshan kneeling next to Finn, covering him with his whole body while Finn tried to lick every part of Roshan, his tail a blur of doggie joy.
Roshan let himself be pushed over into the sand by the dog, who proceeded to lick his face to his heart’s content. Roshan’s deep laugh was a balm to her soul.
“Hey, buddy,” Roshan continued. “You did miss me, didn’t you?” He managed to sit up.
Nimita was met with that smile and those eyes that haunted her nights and days. She could not believe what she was seeing. As if her heart hadn’t been getting a workout, hearing Roshan use babytalk for Finn was the last straw. She melted, still very, very confused. She knelt, still facing him.
“This…is…your dog?” That was really all she could manage.
Roshan grinned at her and then at the golden retriever currently showing them his belly. “Yes. Finn is my dog.”
“I…” She paused. “What…?”
Roshan nodded. “Yeah. That’s about how I felt when I saw this, this morning.” He turned his phone to her, and she saw the picture Molly had taken of the two of them and Finn.
“What?” Her brain was not functioning correctly.
Finn calmed down and sat beside where Roshan was still kneeling. He was really here. Finn was really his dog.
“Surprise,” he said softly.
Then she got it. “Molly is your sister? Malini, oh, Mali.”
She rose on her knees and moved to him. She didn’t think. Sure, not thinking, acting on her gut had gotten her into trouble before, but right now, she didn’t care. And she could not have stopped herself anyway. She leaned in and kissed him.
His scent transported her back to the island. He was familiar and new all at the same time. No sooner had her lips touched his than he pulled her close and kissed her back. They both ignored Finn’s yelp for attention.
As much as she tried to fight it, as much as she did not want to admit it, kissing Roshan was like coming home. Whether he felt the same way or not, Nimita was home in his arms.
* * *
This was where he belonged. On the beach with Nimita. Truth was, he belonged anywhere Nimita was. The fact that she was kissing him right now was a relief and a joy.
“So Molly is your sister?” Nimita asked for the third time, as they walked back to his place, hand in hand, Finn trotting along peacefully beside him. “Mali, rather,” she corrected her slight mispronunciation.
“Yes.”
They’d reached his place. Which was Mali’s place.
“Those are gorgeous flowers,” Nimita said, noting the yellow-orange blooms that were planted along the walk. “You planted them,” she said with sudden realization.
“Yes. California poppy. Come in.” He led her in and to the breakfast bar. He wanted to strip both of them of clothing and lock them in his bedroom, but he was suddenly nervous, quite unsure of how to proceed. He put water out for Finn, who lapped it up and curled himself up in the sitting room.
Roshan really had not thought past finding her. “Um…are you hungry, I can make us something.” He opened the fridge. It was empty. Weird. Malini usually kept it stocked. “Or I can order takeout.”
“I’m good,” she said.
“Okay. Good.” He turned back to her. “Coffee? Tea? Water?”
“You might not have made a bad flight attendant, either.” Nimita smirked at him.
He stared at her.
“Okay. What’s happening here?” Nimita narrowed her eyes at him.
He just watched her. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she had on a T-shirt and shorts.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was beautiful like a plush blanket on a cool night, like a sunset over water, and she took his breath away.
She was eyeing him with apprehension. He was going to have to be honest. Vulnerable. Real.
“I’m nervous.”
“Why?” She quirked a half smile.
“Because…because I’ve missed you since you left.
No, that’s not it, I have ached for you.
I regretted letting you believe that all I wanted was a fling.
I never wanted a fling with you. I knew I wanted you that first night when you kicked the crap out of me, the second the lights came on, and I saw you standing over me.
I fell for you, Nimi. Hard. And I didn’t even realize it until you were gone.
All I could think of when I saw that picture was that I was being given another chance to be with you, and now you’re here and part of me wants to carry you to my bed and show you how much I…
Well. And the other part is worried that I made a huge mistake finding you again. That you don’t feel the same way.”
She got off the stool and came around to the kitchen and took his hand. She led him to the sofa.
He sat down. “Say something.”
“How much you what?” she asked, prompting him to continue.
He sighed. He was all in. “How much…you challenge me. How much I can’t stop thinking about you.
How much you get into every part of me.” He sighed, his eyes resting on her, willing her to believe his words.
He whispered, “How much I’m starting to fall for you.
” He tensed, waiting to see if she would run.
She did not.
“I picked up my phone ten times a day to text you. I wanted to share my day with you. All the boring and exciting details.” She straddled him and brought her mouth close to his. “I missed you so much, it hurt.” She kissed him. “I’m starting to fall for you, too.”
He brought his arms up and around her to pull her closer as he kissed her back. This was right. This was where he belonged.
“What in the ever loving hell is happening here?” Malini’s voice shook through the space, garnering a whine from Finn as Nimita jumped off of Roshan.
“Malini,” he said, trying to catch his breath and focus on his sister. “You’re home.”
“Apparently, so are you,” she said as she abandoned her bags at the door and walked into the house. “What…?” She narrowed her eyes. “Nimita?”
“Hey, Mali,” Nimita said softly.
Suddenly, Malini’s eyes flashed wide open. “No. Ew. No. Tell me you weren’t in Hawaii, that this isn’t the hot guy from the beach.”
Roshan groaned and snapped his head to Nimita. “You told her?”
“I told my friend about a guy,” Nimita said. “I didn’t know she was your sister.” She looked at Malini. “I didn’t know you had a brother. How would I know that? You said you lived with a roommate!”
“It sounds a little more mature when I meet new people than saying ‘my brother.’ My brother who is your vacation guy.” Malini put her hands out and closed her eyes. “I know too much.” She made a gagging noise.
Roshan took Nimita’s hand. “You told a friend about me?” She had been thinking about him, too. Maybe he was a little giddy hearing that.
Nimita shook her head at him and rolled her eyes. “Don’t get too excited, but yes.”
“Oh. Ugh. Stop,” Malini said. But she was smiling. “Do I get a hug, Bhaiya?”
Roshan grinned. “Of course.” And then, “You said I was your roommate?” He stood and wrapped his sister in a bear hug.
She whispered in his ear. “I really like her, don’t screw this up.”
Malini hung out for a bit, but she was on her way to brunch with her work friends. She pulled out the Sunday paper and left it on the counter. “Your paper, Bhaiya.” Malini left with promises to call Nimita later and to have dinner with her brother.
“So,” Nimita said, wandering over to join him at the breakfast bar. “Why did you hire a dog sitter? I’m sure Neha appreciated the work, but Mali’s perfectly capable of taking care of Finn.”
“It’s complicated,” Roshan said.
Nimita narrowed her eyes at him but did not push.
“Let’s talk about other things.” Roshan tugged at Nimi’s hand, pulling her back into his arms. “Where were we?”
“Tell me what the deal is with you being so protective of Malini. She’s a great person. I think she can take care of herself,” Nimita said. “Didn’t you say she’s not sick anymore? She seems super healthy.”
Roshan groaned. “It’s my job to take care of her. As long as I can remember, once she got sick, my parents counted on me to make sure she was safe and healthy.” Nimita wasn’t the first person to question him. Vishal and Karan got on his case, plenty.
“Isn’t that a lot on you?” Nimita asked.
He stared at her. In all the years that Vishal and Karan had given him grief, in all the time that Simmy had not been able to get past what Roshan had felt was necessary for Malini, no one had bothered to ask how taking care of her had affected him.
Not even himself.
He opened his mouth to respond but shut it as he had no idea what to say. “I never really thought about it.”
Nimita pressed her mouth together and nodded. “Maybe you want to think about it.”
“Listen.” He sighed. He couldn’t do a Simmy situation all over again.
It was too much pain. Nimita had seemed different, but…
“My sister will always be a part of my life. I will always worry about her. If that’s a problem…
” He shook his head at her, shrugged and tried to prepare for true heartbreak. He’d rather cut his losses now.
“That’s not what I said. I know what you all went through.
You told me she relapsed a couple of times, and you’ve been looking after her from such a young age.
You’ve got baggage there, I get it, and it’s between you and your sister.
” She was looking him in the eye. “What I asked was if you had ever thought about how taking care of your sister affected you. Who takes care of you, Roshan?”
He was speechless. She wasn’t trying to change him. This woman was genuinely concerned with how he was coping. He went weak in his knees and sat down.
She stepped closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against her belly as she threaded her fingers through his hair.
He’d always been in motion caring for those around him.
Malini, his parents, his patients. Not once had he even considered a toll on himself.
“It’s always been irrelevant…how I feel,” he said softly.
“It’s not,” she said. “It’s not to me.”
It had never mattered, the toll on him. It didn’t matter, did it? If he started thinking about how caregiving affected him, would he even be able to be a doctor?
Nimita was the first person to pose this question. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as he had hoped.