Chapter Nineteen
Nimita waited for Reena to leave before she found a place to change into her scrubs. Then she found her way to the cardiac unit. She stopped in at the nurses’ station and found that her father was still in surgery. So she made her way to the waiting room and sat there.
And thought about everything.
How she had run after her mother’s funeral. How her family had needed her, and she hadn’t been there. How when it got too hard to face them, she’d stopped coming home.
That was not going to happen anymore. She was done running.
For better or for worse, she was here, and she was here to stay.
Of course Reena was angry with her and had every right to be angry with her, but anger was not going to fix this.
She wanted her sister back. She wanted to be a masi to Naya.
She wanted to be a daughter. If that meant putting friendships and relationships on the back burner right now to prove that she was dedicated to the good of the family, then so be it.
It was a small price to pay for getting her family back.
She tried to ignore the ache in her heart when she thought about Roshan. If she chose her family over everything else, that meant not trying to fix things with him. When she thought about facing all of these things without his undying support…
But she was strong. And hadn’t Roshan decided he did not need her? That she didn’t care about family, couldn’t be trusted not to turn tail and run?
After about forty-five minutes, the door opened. And of all the people that came through, it was Reena.
“What are you doing here? Is Hiral home with Naya?”
“I called the nanny to stay with her till he’s off work,” Reena told her.
“I’m here. You can go home and stay with your daughter. I can take care of this,” Nimita assured her.
“He’s my dad, too, and he’s having heart surgery. I want to be here.”
Nimita shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
The waiting room was completely empty apart from the two of them. For the first time since Nimita had gotten to California, she and her sister were alone. Silence descended.
Wasn’t that weird? They had grown up together, and now suddenly it seemed they had nothing to say to one another. Or was it that there was so much to say?
The nurse came in to give them an update. “He’ll be out shortly,” she told them kindly. “But you have a bit of time if you want to get a bite to eat.”
“Thank you,” Nimita said. The nurse left. There was no way to eat right now. The one parent they had, the literal glue in their relationship, was undergoing heart surgery.
She looked at her sister.
Her sister looked at her.
Nimita remembered the day that Reena was born.
She was old enough to know that everyone was concerned she would be jealous of the new baby, but not old enough to really understand what jealous meant.
But when she went with Papa to the hospital and they laid a pillow on her lap and a baby on that pillow, Nimita’s breath caught.
In that moment, she’d realized that she had been expecting a doll of sorts, and instead, there was this creature.
This creature had soft skin, the tiniest fingers, and the cutest most perfect little mouth.
She moved without a battery or a charge.
Nimita was instantly smitten. When her parents allowed her to name this baby, Nimita felt oh-so-grown-up.
She contemplated deeply and came up with Reena.
To this day, she had no recollection as to why.
What Nimita did know was that Reena was going to be her very best friend.
Or so she’d thought then. Nimita looked at her sister. “It’s just us. Have at it.”
Reena shrugged, and Nimita was sure she was just going to sit there in silence.
But then: “You. Left.” The amount of pain and fury in her voice was disproportional for their present situation. This was years of pain that had eaten at her sister.
Nimita stared at her little sister as tears filled Reena’s eyes. Nimita fought the tears in her own eyes. The truth was, Reena was not little anymore.
“You left when Mom died, and I was here.” Reena pointed to the ground, her voice shaking with rage.
“I was the one who had to watch Papa grieve, who took over his care, who stayed.” Her fury was barely contained.
“I do not care what you wanted from your life, you abandoned me when I needed you the most.” Her voice cracked.
“When I needed my big sister, you were nowhere to be found.” Tears flowed freely down Reena’s cheeks, but she did not avert her stare from Nimita.
She was right of course. Nimita had fled the minute her injuries had allowed. She didn’t let herself think about what she was leaving behind, she only thought about what was in front of her. It had been selfish and inconsiderate.
Nimita had left Reena to do all the heavy lifting. The strain she felt with her family was her own doing. Shame burned through Nimita, leaving her speechless. She thought Reena needed to give her a break, but she finally understood the truth.
“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Reena threw the words at her.
“You’re right. You have every right to feel that way.
I’m sorry.” Reena’s eyes widened, and Nimita kept going.
“Reena, I’m so sorry. I’m trying to be here and share that responsibility, if not just take it on myself.
That is my full intention. I am not leaving.
Not this time. I love you.” Nimita kept her words even and honest. It was all she had in this moment.
Reena stared at her, taken aback. “I had already lost Mom, and when you left, I lost my big sister, too. I was completely alone.”
“Can you ever forgive me?” Nimita asked.
She wiped her eyes with her hand.
Nimita handed her a handkerchief.
“Seriously? Who carries these anymore?”
“Do you want it or not?”
Reena used the handkerchief to dry her tears. “It smells like Mom.” Her eyes softened.
Nimita nodded. “I know.” No matter how many times Nimita washed it, it still always smelled like their mother.
The nurse popped in. They turned their attention to her. “He’s in a room and just barely awake, if you want to see him.”
“Thank you,” Reena said. Silence fell between them. But it was more comfortable than before. Reena sighed and stood, offering her hand to Nimita. She gave her a half smile and took her sister’s hand.
“I have no idea why you really left,” she said as they made their way to their father’s room. “Maybe one day you’ll tell me.”
Nimita felt the truth wanting to break free, but something stopped her. She was just getting her sister back. She couldn’t jeopardize that. Instead, she made a noncommittal noise.
Reena eyed her and cocked her head. “You know, after you left, I didn’t really know what I was doing, so I did whatever I thought Mom would do.
” She inhaled. “She chose not to ever take Papa anywhere, take any risks. All she did was keep him safe. Safe may be good, but it may not be a way of life. Maybe if you had stayed, Papa might have gone to more Holi or Diwali or Christmas celebrations.” She squeezed Nimita.
“Maybe now that you’re staying, he will.
You’re my sister, and you’re back. I know I have been angry, so angry that even when you were doing the things I had wanted you to do for so long, it just made me more angry.
Maybe we forgive each other and move forward? ”
Nimita nodded. “I’d like that. You’re amazing, you know that? I’m so proud of you.”
Reena scoffed.
“If I haven’t said it, you have done a great job with Dad, your child, the house, your career, all of it. And of course you and Hiral are hashtag relationship goals.”
Reena opened her mouth and then shut it as she swallowed down tears. “Thank you. It’s nice to be seen.” She paused as they made their way to their father’s room. “After you see Papa, you might want to check on that man of yours. I saw him when I was looking for this waiting room.”
“He’s not my man,” Nimita said as casually as she could.
Reena raised her eyebrows.
“We broke up at Holi.”
“Well, that may be, but he clearly still cares for you. The way he told me off.” Reena widened her eyes. She squeezed her hand. “Go find him. He looked like he was alone.”