Chapter Twenty-One
Nimita checked on her sister and her father and then went home to take a shower and make dinner.
She was close to being drained, but sitting still was not an option.
She checked her email to see if anyone had responded to her job queries.
Not yet, but it would happen. Nimita missed Roshan now more than ever.
She was happy to have made some progress with her sister. But guilt was weighing her down now more than ever. She should come clean, tell Reena the whole truth, but she was afraid. They were just now making progress. What if Reena hated her all over again once she knew?
She let the nanny go home and fed Naya first. Then she rummaged in the fridge, determined to at least have dinner ready when Reena came home.
She was in the process of chopping a salad and thought she should get some tomatoes from her father’s little garden.
She stepped out and found Roshan watering the plants.
“Hey,” she said. It was awkward. So much had happened today.
Her father, the conversation with Reena, Roshan’s with his parents.
The cold way he’d looked at her when Malini hurt herself, a reminder of all the things he’d said to Nimita on Holi.
Was it only this morning that he’d carried Malini away from the beach? “What’s going on?”
“Hey.” He looked up at her from the plant he was watering.
He eyes met hers, soft and peaceful. “Well, I hung out with my parents for a bit, and then I decided I needed to get some air. I’m on tomorrow, and time away from the hospital is helpful.
” He gestured in front of him. “This is soothing. So I came here to check on Uncle’s plants. ”
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
He shrugged.
“I’m just making a simple salad for my sister and her husband. There’s plenty,” she said. She should be minimizing her time with him. But people need to eat.
Roshan turned to her. “I don’t want to impose.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Spending time alone with him was not the smartest idea. But as awkward as she felt around him, she didn’t want him to leave, either. She grabbed a few tomatoes while she watched him tend to the plants.
He gave them such care. He was so gentle and sure of himself. It was a beautiful thing to watch. She didn’t know why she was surprised. He had been gentle and sure of himself with her. She swallowed hard.
“Well, I’ll just finish up the salad, and you come in when you’re ready,” she said quickly. She needed some cold water.
“I’m ready.” He followed her in. “I’ll just go wash up.”
“Oh. Uh, sure.” They had been so easy with one another in the waiting room. And now? Her stomach was in knots and she felt like an awkward preteen. She didn’t know how much she could take.
He walked into the kitchen. “Tell me what to do.”
“I believe there’s some leftover tandoori chicken in the fridge. I was just going to add it to the salad, if you want to chop it up.”
“My specialty,” he said cheerily, obviously trying to lighten the tension between them.
It didn’t work.
They chopped in silence for a bit.
“Thank you. For today,” he said, his voice back to normal.
“Of course. I’ll always…” She stopped herself. “Of course,” she said with finality. She would not always be there for him.
More silence.
“I am sorry,” he said. “For the things I said at Holi, I never should have called you out for leaving. I was way out of line. And I’m not saying this to get back together—I know that I screwed that up. I mean why would you—”
Why would she ever want to get back with him? That was what he was going to ask. The question should be—why would he want her?
If he knew the truth, he wouldn’t even bother apologizing. Her anger was not in the words he had thrown at her. Her anger was in the truth behind them. It wasn’t that she simply abandoned the people who needed her.
She was running from the truth.
* * *
“Come on, Dad. Let’s go see the girls.”
Roshan and his father went to Malini’s place on his way to work the next morning.
They’d splinted her arm and given her some heavy pain meds a few hours after Roshan had left.
Her surgery was scheduled for the next day.
Their parents had tried to bring her to his house, but she had insisted on going back to her apartment.
Her mother stayed and slept on the sofa.
His father had stayed at his place. They had had some time to talk, just the two of them. It had been cathartic.
His sister was awake, and their mother had just made chai.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Bored.”
“So sorry.” He chuckled.
“No, you’re not.” Malini shrugged. “At least it’s my left hand, so I can still do my lesson plan.”
Roshan sighed deeply and poured himself and his father some chai.
He joined Malini on the sofa, and his father drifted out to the balcony, where his mother was.
The first sip of chai hit the spot, spicy and milky and sweet.
He looked around. This really was a cute little place.
His sister had decorated some, so there was homey feel to it.
“Nice place, Malini.”
His sister raised an eyebrow at him.
“Seriously. I like it.” He chuckled.
She rolled her eyes, clearly doubting his words. “Might as well read to me, if you’re going to be here,” Malini said, nodding at her romantasy book.
“Fine.” He opened the book and started reading. He got two paragraphs in and stopped.
“What?”
He leaned toward her and whispered, “I am not reading this sex scene to my little sister. I have no problem with sex, but reading about ‘velvet covered steel’ and ‘slick folds’ to you?” He shook his head. “No. Not going to happen.”
Malini stared at him. “Yeah. No. I don’t want to hear about that in your voice, either. I’m already traumatized by the words you just said.” She shuddered. “I’ll read it on my own.”
There was a knock at the door. Roshan turned to Malini as he stood to answer the door. “Holding office hours?” He opened the door to find Nimita standing there, holding a box of decorations.
Her eyes widened when she saw him, and she flushed. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Her hair was in that ponytail, she had on shorts and a T-shirt. She was clearly here to help Malini decorate the apartment. His heart thudded; he had no idea what to say to her.
“Bhaiya,” Malini called. “Let her in.”
“Oh. Right.” He stepped aside and took the box from her. “Come in. Want some chai?”
She nodded at him as she entered the apartment, a smile on her face. “Yeah. Thanks.” She stood awkwardly in the little entryway.
He handed her a mug of chai.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
He smiled. “Of course.”
They were polite. Like she was his sister’s best friend.
Nimita greeted Malini, then took her chai on to the balcony to greet his parents. Their faces lit up at her arrival. A big change from the hospital. He watched as she chatted with them.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not in love with her,” Malini said.
“Shut up.” He tore his gaze away from her. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Whatever you did, Bhaiya, fix it.” She glared at him.
“What makes you think I did something?” He attempted to glare back at her.
His sister raised her eyebrows at him.
“Yeah. Okay. I did something,” he confessed.
“Fix it. And I don’t mean apologize. That’s not enough.” Malini’s voice was hard.
He took in his baby sister. She was fierce and tough and beautiful. “When did you get so nosy and so…”
“So what?” she asked.
“So smart,” he said softly. “And tough?”
She smiled at him. “I’ve always been nosy and smart. I learned how to be tough from my big brother.”
He rolled his eyes for her. “So I guess you’re all grown up, don’t need looking after anymore.” The ground crumbled beneath him just to say it.
“Not true,” she said. “I’ll always need my big brother. I just need room to live my life.” She paused, met his eyes. “Think of all the free time you’ll have.”
“Pftt.” He shook his head. “What am I going to do with all that?”
She furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, everything I have ever done has been—”
“For me.” She sounded so sad. “I know. Which is why it’s time for you to not do that.”
He just stared at her.
“Why not find something that is yours?” she continued, energized. “Not a person, not Finn. Something that has nothing to do with me.”
“Like…a hobby?”
“Maybe.”
“Gardening.”
“No.” She shook her head at him. “That is connected to me being sick.”
“Fine.” He shrugged. He needed to be out of this conversation. “I’ll think of something. I need to get to work.” He drained his cup and washed it.
“Whatever. Just make sure you do it, Bhaiya. Find something that is yours, that you love. That is not associated with me.” He hadn’t seen Malini this adamant about anything, ever. “I care about you, and you need to live your life, too.”
Nimita came back in from the balcony. “Leaving so soon?”
“I have a full day.” Roshan gave her a tight smile. He walked to the car, Malini’s request echoing in his head. Nimita had said as much. It was certainly no coincidence that the two women he loved most had made the same request of him.
Maybe he really did need something for himself. Maybe once he found it, he’d be worthy of both of them.