Chapter Twenty-Six
He hadn’t really expected to enjoy woodworking, let alone be adept at it. But there it was. A beautiful set of bookends.
“Nicely done, Dr. Dave,” Nimita said. Was that a sigh of relief she let out?
“What’s the matter? Tired of crafting with me already?” he teased.
“Never,” she said. “I’m just glad that you seemed to actually enjoy this activity as well as the final result.”
“I think I have my thing,” he said triumphantly. “I may even branch out and join a rec soccer team.”
They walked out into a pleasantly warm evening. He automatically looked up into the night sky.
“Orion,” Nimita said.
He didn’t hide his surprise. “Yes.”
“Taurus next to it.”
“Yes.”
“Don’t sound so surprised. I told you that I was familiar with the sky,” she said. “That’s something we have in common.”
He rubbed the shell in his pocket, reminding him of their time stargazing on the beach. It was always with him. “It is.” He opened the door for her, and she sat down. He started the car.
“How about a walk on the beach?” Nimita suggested.
“Sounds great.” He drove to the beach and parked. He grabbed a couple blankets from the trunk, and they started walking.
“Feel better with a potential new, totally-cancer-unrelated hobby?” Nimita said. “To do what your sister asked?”
He sighed. “You know, I really do.”
They walked in companionable silence for a bit.
The air was cooler here with the ocean breeze.
The surf pounded gently, a soothing soundtrack for this walk.
Once they were far enough away from the lights, he and Nimita spread out one blanket to sit and cuddled together for warmth under the other one.
Their legs tangled together, and he said softly, “I know this doesn’t solve everything. One new pastime doesn’t make it all better, but I need to do as she asks.”
“I know. But it’s a step in helping you figure out who you want to be.”
He knew it. He’d known it all along. They sat in silence for a while. “I don’t know if I can do it, Nimi.” His voice was low, the words barely out of his mouth.
She squeezed his hand under the blanket and watched him.
The crescent moonlight reflected off the ocean, the only light by which he could see her eyes. There was so much love in those eyes. Whether she said it or not, it was there.
“She wants me to find something that has nothing to do with her. I don’t even know what that means.
” He paused. “And I worry…” Unbidden, fear rose inside him.
“I worry she wants me to have something that doesn’t remind me of her, in case she…
” Tears of anger burned behind his eyes.
“I mean what the hell is that? She’s preparing me for a time when she’s not around. It’s like she knows something.”
Tears had filled Nimita’s eyes as well. She didn’t look away. “She’s not hiding anything from you. She just wants you to have a life.”
“It’s too much, Nimi. I do not know who I am if I am not her brother. If I’m not caring for her, who am I? If she dies, what will I do?” A tear escaped and rolled down his cheek, followed by another. “I know I need an answer, but I can’t undo nearly twenty years in one woodworking class.”
“You don’t need to do it all at once,” Nimi said quietly. “That’s what she wants you to think about. Who you really are. It’s not about what will you do if she’s gone. It’s about who are you now.”
He dropped his head and gave a small shake. “I don’t know. Yet.”
“Look at me.”
He tilted his head up to her.
“Who are you, if you’re not Mali’s caretaker?
I know who you are. You’re a deeply loyal friend.
You’re a good son. A brilliant and caring physician.
A good brother.” She paused, as tears slid down her face.
“You’re the man I fell head over heels in love with.
I can’t imagine my life without you in it.
I don’t want to. I see you, Roshan Dave.
I see the man you are. Not in relation to your sister, but just you. ”
He reached out of the blanket and cupped her face with both hands, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears.
“You know why I read the wedding section of the paper?” he asked her.
“It’s because I am in awe of those people, who are able to share themselves so completely with another person.
It’s almost like reading a fantasy book.
Like I could never have it.” He paused. “But then I met you. You showed me the possibility of having that kind of love.”
She met his gaze. “I have been running from my life for so long…falling in love wasn’t even a possibility—I didn’t know how to face everyone when my mom died.
Their disappointment seemed unbearable. Then fighting with you…
I couldn’t handle your disappointment, too.
The reality is that loving you doesn’t bring me down, loving you lifts me up.
Loving you is the easiest hard thing I’ve ever done.
You are my person. Every part of my day, I want to share with you.
I love that you are someone to me. And I want to be that someone to you.
We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be. ”
Roshan just watched her.
“Say something,” she demanded.
“I’m someone to you?” he asked, a bit surprised.
“Yes.”
“I’m scared.” He spoke just above a whisper.
“Me, too.”
“I hurt a friend who had done nothing but help me.” He looked into her eyes.
“You apologized to her, after harboring great remorse for years. You know how to grow.”
“And then I hurt her again when I was trying to deal with my own baggage.”
“You and she both have baggage to deal with. But we can deal with it together.”
He nodded. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“Me either.” She paused. “Maybe we take it slow. Learn to trust ourselves. Learn to trust each other.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “Be imperfect together?”
“It may be the only way,” she whispered.
“You have been someone to me since you nearly knocked me out. I love you.”
“Yeah, you do.” She moved her mouth to kiss him.
His mouth turned liquid as he melted into her. And unbidden a thought occurred as he kissed her and claimed her as his.
* * *
Roshan took Nimita’s hand as they walked to the car, then continued to hold her hand while he drove. He was never letting her go.
“Let’s go to your place for a while,” Nimita said.
Roshan was more than happy to oblige. They entered the house to a super excited Finn.
“Drink?” he asked her once Finn had calmed down.
“Sure.”
He poured them each a glass of wine and headed for the sofa. “Let’s go up and sit by that window. See the stars you love so much.”
He followed her up the steps and froze when they approached the window. He looked at her. She was grinning from ear to ear.
A telescope was set up and pointing out the open window.
“Did you do this?” he asked as he approached.
“It’s from your dad,” she said. “He owed you one.”
He studied her face. “But this was your idea.”
She grinned. “I knew you were looking for a new passion. And I know how much astronomy used to mean to you.”
His imagination was already firing. “It’s perfect.”
She leaned over and took a quick peek. She moved the scope just a hair and turned to him, mischief on her lips. “Go on. Take a look.”
He bent down and looked. “That’s the Ring Nebula.”
“Hint. Hint.”
He stood and turned to her, not quite believing what was happening. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
“I believe that I am.” There was no shake in her voice, no hesitation. She wanted this. She wanted him.
“My heart has belonged to you for a long time.” He reached out, needing to touch her.
“Is that a yes?”
“That is a promise that I choose you today and every day. A certainty that my heart belongs to you and only you, whatever you decide to do with it. Break it, keep it.” He shook his head. “It’s yours.” He kissed her, and he was home. “Yes. Always yes.”