Chapter Twenty-One
Ransom sat in his office, twiddling his thumbs and wasting away the early afternoon hours when there was so much to be done. His phone was ringing off the hook, but he’d ignored it. All he could think about were those scant minutes in Ava’s office. Thirty minutes against fifteen years without her. Thirty minutes of the best sex of his life.
No, not sex. Lovemaking. He hadn’t made love to a woman in fifteen years. He’d taken other women to his bed, but that had been sex. Right from the beginning, he and Ava had always made love. Then he’d lost her to one stupid mistake and a chick flick.
Why had he even made that offer, practically begging her to leave her life behind and come with him?
After his grandmother died, he’d realized he’d never get enough time with Ava, that he couldn’t keep leaving her behind. Added to the mix, it rankled that his mother had never come out to see the old lady. Or him. He never saw his brother. They’d been estranged, though he hadn’t wanted to use that word at the time.
With his grandmother’s death, it seemed as though his last link to his family had been severed too. Ava had become the only link to his past. And he’d wanted her. Craved her every moment of every day when he was away. So he’d asked. He didn’t think he’d demanded. He thought he’d merely suggested.
Even when she’d thrown that damned chick flick at him, he’d never watched it. Never tried to see the point she’d made.
He flipped on his computer, pulled up his streaming account, then he punched his intercom button.
When he heard the brief, “Yes, Ransom? What do you need?”
“Hold all my calls for two hours,” he instructed. “I’m not available to anyone.” Then he quickly added, “Except Ava Harrington.”
He was very much afraid she wouldn’t call. He was very much afraid it would be like the last time, where he waited for her to call… and waited… until he got on with his life and tried to put her behind him.
What a mistake that had been.
Heshould have called her. He should have flown right back from Paris and gone straight to her apartment. Though they’d always been at his place—it was almost as if she’d been living with him—she’d still had a life outside of his. Her apartment. Her job. Her classes.
Her dreams.
He searched for the movie, and when it came up, he was dumbstruck by how cheap it was. Something that cost so little to watch and yet had so devastated his life. He’d never thought about Pretty Woman. It was just a reference she’d thrown at him in a moment of high emotion.
But she’d said it again today. She’d never forgotten, not the way he had.
He didn’t just rent it, he bought it, so it would always be there to remind him.
Closing the blinds against the sun streaming across the computer, he sat in his office chair, his big-screen monitor blazing with a chick flick.
It was a cute story. The characters were funny. Especially the hotel manager. The meet-cute was pretty dang risqué for the current times. Because Vivian was a lady of the night. And Edward, for lack of a better word, was her john. Yeah, it was daring. And sexy. Yet heartwarming.
When he got to the part where Edward snapped the jewel box closed before Vivian could take the necklace, Ransom laughed out loud. He thought about going online to see if that bit had been ad-libbed or was part of the script, but he didn’t. It was charming to think it hadn’t been planned.
He watched Vivian grow under the tutelage of the hotel manager. The guy was a fairy godmother figure. Ransom found himself enjoying the movie, laughing. And feeling his heart break as Vivian’s did.
When Edward asked Vivian to be his kept woman, a lance pierced Ransom’s heart.
Even as Edward said he wasn’t treating her like a lady of the night, or even a mistress, the floodgates of understanding opened inside Ransom as Vivian told him he’d just treated her exactly like that.
Ransom saw it all. He’d been a clueless jerk. He’d been blinded by the exquisite lovemaking, by the joy he felt when they created a meal together, by the happiness that welled up from his soul when he was with Ava. Yet, all the time, he’d accommodated only himself, sweeping aside her dreams. For so long, he’d believed it was all about that—his subjugation of her dreams, his narcissistic belief that only his dreams mattered at the time, that she could always find hers later.
But holy hell, this was what she’d been talking about. He’d asked her to be his kept woman. He’d offered to create a job for her. Then he’d actually blamed her for walking out and never calling him back. For never wanting to discuss the issue. She’d deleted him from her life, and he’d wallowed in his hurt and anger, never seeking out the real reasons for it.
And all the while, the answer had been waiting for him in Vivian and Edward’s story.
Hewas the one who’d broken them. He’d been so busy making his bid for fame, practically shouting at the world, look at me, look at me, that he’d stuck Ava in his suitcase and closed the lid on her. He’d asked her to be nothing more than a plaything he could pull out when he wanted amazing lovemaking, or even a hike along Italy’s Blue Trail when they were traveling.
He’d pushed for a change that benefited only him. It didn’t matter that he’d just lost his grandmother or that he was estranged from his family. It didn’t matter that his success was supposed to be all about not being like his father.
He had become exactly like his father. Working all the time, missing out on his family, never seeing his mother for years until she was almost on her deathbed. And even now, when he went to see Adam and his family, he was always rushed, always thinking about the next big gig, always shortchanging the visits.
He didn’t have kids he could force to work in his restaurant, true—and he was willing to try new things. But like his father, who put his work first, who spent time with his family only because he had them working in the restaurant, Ransom had put his career first over the love of his life.
So she’d left him.
And he was probably well on his way to giving himself the same heart attack that had killed his dad.
He watched the entire movie. He cheered for Vivian’s triumph. He clapped when Edward finally acknowledged the hotel manager, when he finally paid attention to all the little people. Even after the credits rolled, he sat in contemplation for fifteen long minutes, one for each of the years he’d wasted. He absorbed Ava’s message to him through the movie. Everything he should have seen back then, everything that hammered at him now.
Ransom knew exactly what he had to do if he didn’t want to lose her all over again.
Grabbing his cell phone, he walked to the window, already tapping her icon saved in his Favorites menu, and opened up the blinds to the glorious bay and the magnificent towers of the Golden Gate.
Though she would have seen his name on the screen, she didn’t ignore him. And she didn’t hang up on him when he said her name. “Ava.” Just her name.
She said only, “Yes.”
His throat clogged up. “Can—” Then he rushed it all. “Can you meet me at Alamo Square as soon as possible?”
* * *
It wasn’t a demand. It was a question. And Ava heard the plea in it. “Is now soon enough?”
His soft chuckle rumbled over the airwaves. “Well, I’m not actually there yet.”
She smiled as if he could see it. “Then soon.” She was still in her chauffeured car, and she wouldn’t be going back to the office.
He whispered, “Soon,” before he added, “I need to tell you something.”
“And I have something to tell you too.”
They hung up with gentle good-byes, his words ringing in her ears.
She wouldn’t walk away this time. Not after that conversation with Fernsby and Gabby—well, mostly Fernsby. He’d helped her realize she didn’t have to be afraid of a second chance. She wouldn’t cock it up. She wouldn’t let Ransom cock it up either.
He was already in Alamo Square when her driver dropped her off.
The park wasn’t overcrowded, but tourists sat on blankets on the grass or stood on the sidewalk snapping pictures of San Francisco’s famous Victorian Painted Ladies across the street. The homes’ pastel colors glowed gloriously in the late afternoon sun against the backdrop of high-rises and business buildings.
Ransom sat with all the other onlookers.
Her heart beat faster, her breath came quicker, and her skin heated with memories of their morning sojourn in her office. Crossing the grass on her toes so her heels didn’t sink into the sod, she was only steps away when she realized what he’d done.
Sitting on a blanket he’d spread out, his shoes lay beside him, socks tucked inside, and a book of Shakespeare’s sonnets next to him.
She stood over him and whispered, “Where are the snap dogs?” Just as Vivian had.
He pointed. A hot dog stand was busy serving customers on the corner.
Her heart wanted to burst right out of her chest. “You watched Pretty Woman.”
Looking up at her, he smiled. “I did.”
And she read the meaning in all the props. This wasn’t a short-term gig where he’d satisfy both her catering and her physical needs, then fly off when his job was done.
He might even love her. Because really, what man would watch Pretty Woman all by himself if he wasn’t in love?
Picking up the book of sonnets, he patted the blanket beside him. Ava sat, her legs curled beneath her, one hand supporting her as she gazed at him, a man more beautiful than any of the Painted Ladies.
“I pretty-womaned you.” The mocha color of his eyes was softer, gentler, and maybe a little misty. “I’m so sorry, Ava. Everything you said this morning was right. I didn’t mean to, but I ghosted you. And I understand now how you felt. Nobody ever wants to be erased or deleted by someone they love.” He raised her hand to his lips, kissed her knuckles in the softest, most exquisite caress. “I always intended to come back to you, to talk it through. But when I got home to my apartment, all your things were gone.”
“You could have come to my apartment.”
He closed his eyes, almost as if he couldn’t bear the pain. “I should have. But the longer it went on, the harder it was to come to you. I told myself this was the opportunity I needed to concentrate on my career.” When she winced, he added quickly, “I know how wrong that was. But back then, I was trying so hard not to be like my father. To be a huge success. To never settle for good enough. I convinced myself that letting you go was for the best. Even while I wanted to call you, run to you, beg you to come back, I told myself that you could do your schooling and work on your dreams without me dragging you down or begging for your attention. The real truth was that I made success more important than love. More important than you.” He held her hand over his heart. “But I forgot the most important lesson my father taught me—that loyalty and family and love trump some nebulous definition of success. I realize now that’s why he didn’t expand, why he didn’t take chances, why he wouldn’t even change the menus when I suggested it. It wasn’t because he didn’t value my suggestions. It was because he was afraid that by expanding, by changing, he would lose his family.”
“And yet,” she whispered, “he lost you anyway.”
“No,” he said on a harsh breath, his hold tightening as he pressed their linked hands to his chest. “I lost him. I lost my family. I lost their love.” He gazed deeply into her eyes. “And through my ambition, I lost you, the best thing in my life.”
Ava rarely allowed herself to cry. But just as with Gabby and Fernsby earlier, as she faced everything she’d done wrong, a tear slid from the corner of her eye.
Ransom reached up to catch it, bringing his finger to his lips as if he were kissing it away.
“I lost you too,” she murmured. “You offered me that job, but I didn’t hear you say you needed me.”
“I’m not sure I said it out loud. But I did need you. More than anything.”
She blinked away another tear. Kids were throwing Frisbees, dogs were chasing balls, young lovers were kissing all around them. But her world had shrunk down to Ransom alone.
“All I heard was that I wasn’t good enough for anything more than tagging along after you, that the only thing I could do was hitch my wagon to your star.”
He stroked her cheek, his eyes more sad than T. Rex’s when Cammie and Dane left him behind. “I never meant it that way,” he said so softly that she leaned closer, breathed him in along with his words. “I couldn’t stand the long separations. I couldn’t live without you. I just didn’t say it that way. I wanted to be calm, cool, collected—lay out my plan, offer you a sweet package so you’d agree.” He looked at her a long, long moment. “As though you were an employee. But now I realize I did that so I didn’t have to lay my heart on the line.”
“And maybe I walked out because I wanted to say yes so badly.” And she had. She wanted her dreams, she wanted her degree, but oh, how she’d wanted him. “I ran out before I had to compromise with you, before I compromised my dreams.” She stared at the Painted Ladies, not truly seeing them, but seeing into the past, into her heart. “I kept remembering all the times my parents ignored me and my siblings. How I overachieved just to make them see me—making the honor roll at school, being on the winning debate team, becoming class valedictorian. I wanted them to see me, to love me. I did it all to get their attention.” She swallowed hard, bitter tears rising in her eyes. “But they didn’t even come to my high school graduation. They left me behind. They left all of us behind for another ski trip that was just like all their other ski trips. Until it killed them.”
He kissed away another tear that escaped.
“I wanted so badly for them to let me in. And I was so perfect. I did everything the right way. I never made a misstep.” She paused, needing to breathe. “They died without ever seeing me. And the truth is, I don’t think they ever would have. They didn’t see any of us.” Instead, they’d left behind a mountain of debt that she and Dane had to deal with while caring for their three younger siblings.
“That’s why you had your dreams, isn’t it?” Ransom asked in a gentle voice that seemed to stroke her nerve endings.
She nodded, sniffing back the tears. “Even after they were gone, I still needed to prove to them that I was good enough to love. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t just manage a nursing home, why I couldn’t just make life better for the residents. I had to own all the facilities. I had to build an empire.” She blinked, her vision cleared, and suddenly she saw everything. “That’s why I walked out that night. Because after all the things I’d done to make your life perfect, you only wanted me as your mistress. You didn’t want me.” She put her hand to her chest as if she had to hold her heart inside. “You only wanted how good we were in bed together.”
He cupped her cheek, his thumb a soothing caress across her skin. “I did it all wrong. I should’ve told you why I needed you with me. I should’ve told you that I was a mess whenever I was away from you. You are my success. And loving you meant more to me than anything else.”
“But that wasn’t true then.”
He shook his head. “It was true. I just didn’t know it until after I’d let you go. I was a fool. I should’ve run after you, begged you to stay. Climbed a fire escape. Whatever I had to do to keep you in my life.”
She rolled her lips together, pressing hard before she cried, and finally said, “I should have stayed and told you exactly how I felt. Instead, I just raged. Who can ever hear someone who rages at them?”
He smiled very softly then. “You should’ve sat me down and made me watch Pretty Woman.”
She laughed, too, just as softly. “There were so many things we should’ve done.”
“But we didn’t.” At his words, another tear rolled down, into his fingers gently cupping her face.
“We wasted fifteen years,” she murmured. “Because of all the things we should have done but didn’t. Because I couldn’t compromise.”
He didn’t let her take all the blame. “Because I couldn’t see that love was more important than anything. You were more important. Instead of being so different from my dad, I turned into him. A workaholic. And now I have nothing else in my life—no love, barely even family.”
She leaned into the hand against her cheek. “A very wise man told me that love is a compromise because two hearts must meet in the middle to become one.” She smiled. “He also told me not to cock it up this time.”
Ransom laughed, loudly enough to stop a dog in its tracks, a ball in its mouth. “Fernsby.”
She had to laugh too.
“I’m sure as hell not going to cock it up either. I love you, Ava Harrington. I love you with every cell in my body. And I would give up everything I have—my restaurants, my cookbooks, my TV show, and most especially all my success—if I could have you back in my life.”
“I love you,” she whispered. “You don’t have to give up anything. And neither do I. We’re going to compromise in any way required to make our love work.”
He pulled her close, his lips almost touching hers. “I always knew you’d make your dreams come true. I always knew you were perfect for me.”
When he kissed her, his lips on hers were heavenly.
She pulled back just to breathe again, to look into his eyes and see the love shining in them, to let him see that love reflected in hers.
Then, rolling to her feet, she grabbed his hand, pulled him up. “What we really need now is a snap dog to celebrate.”
Hand in hand, they ran across the grass to the hot dog stand. When they finally had their dogs with all the good toppings and skins that snapped when they bit into them, she leaned in to kiss him with mustard all over her mouth.
Finally, she didn’t have to be an overachiever. Because Ransom would love her no matter what.