Revealing Mark (Loving Bad #6)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

The speeches were done and everyone was seated.

I swirled my champagne, wishing it was over already.

I glanced down at the gold watch strapped to my wrist, wondering how long before it would be acceptable to leave.

Each time I had to attend a family event, he was there.

The he I was referring to was seated across from me at the dining table. Mark Bishop. My brother’s best friend.

I felt uncomfortable in the royal blue cocktail dress I wore which accentuated my blue eyes and my feet were killing me.

I rarely wore high heels, usually spending most of my time in sandals or sneakers.

Occasionally I liked to dress up but I couldn’t imagine having to do this regularly.

I had worn my dark blonde hair down on my mother’s insistence.

Usually I preferred it up in a messy bun and out of my way.

I kept myself from looking at Mark directly but I was still aware of every movement, every sound he made.

It never got any easier. I had begun to resent his presence in my tight-knit family.

His stark green eyes and dark brown hair were ingrained in my memory with his handsome features.

From his square jaw to the dimples that made my stomach dip when he smiled.

“Stop frowning, Tracy,” my sister, Sophie, admonished softly beside me with a discreet elbow in my side, pulling me out of my daydreaming.

“I’m not,” I whispered back, hoping not to draw Mark’s attention.

I gently kicked my sister back under the table and she stifled a giggle. I wanted to roll my eyes at her. She acted so immature at times, it was difficult to believe she was only a year younger than me.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see him still talking to my brother’s fiancée, Sarah. They were talking intently. His fingers played with the stem of the champagne glass and I swallowed, being aware of every small movement he made.

Unable to take it anymore, I drained my champagne.

The alcohol would ease the turmoil inside me.

Why, after so long, did I still feel the same way about him when he had done nothing, absolutely nil, to encourage it?

Was I just a sucker for punishment? Wanting someone who wasn’t interested in me in the slightest?

Or was it the fact that he was unattainable that made him more attractive?

It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried to move on. Just remembering my last attempt was enough for me to reach for the open bottle of champagne on the table and fill up my glass to the top. I didn’t want to think back to my last ex-boyfriend, Jack, or the last fight a few nights ago that had ended it.

We had only dated for a few months and I hadn’t felt much other than relief when he had finally moved out the day before.

My focus landed on my parents and something warm tugged in the middle of my chest as I watched them affectionately sitting together. That was what I wanted, that same love they looked at each other with, but so far I was failing miserably.

I couldn’t feel anything for the guys I did date and I felt too much for the man who was unattainable. I sighed as I set my glass back down.

“What’s with you?” Sophie asked, taking in my slumped shoulders.

“I’m just not in the celebrating mood,” I whispered, shrugging.

“Is it because of Jack?”

The sound of my ex’s name was enough to darken my mood. I shook my head. My little sister knew more about my personal life than anyone else. Matthew, my older brother by two years, was so overprotective that I hadn’t been able to reveal to him my latest relationship disaster. It was just too much.

There was so much happiness around me that I was beginning to develop a complex. What was I doing wrong? I couldn’t figure it out. I had tried to feel something for Jack. Maybe I had pushed for something that had never been there.

Mark laughed and my stomach fluttered at the sound. The unwanted feeling made my resentment grow.

I gulped a few more mouthfuls of the champagne.

I didn’t usually drink, but the week had been stressful, with breaking up with Jack and having to prepare myself to deal with Mark, when I was already feeling so vulnerable and in no way prepared to pretend the sight of him didn’t jolt me awake with a fizzle in my veins.

Whenever he looked at me, I came alive with every nerve. No one had ever made me feel like that. In his absence, I was dormant.

“You didn’t say anything to Matt?” I asked her softly, ensuring no one was listening. Although I was pretty sure if she had said something, I would have heard about it from him already.

The last thing I needed was Matthew finding out how badly things had gone with Jack, especially when my brother had pulled me aside when I had first started dating him to warn me off him.

“He’s great,” I had defended blindly.

“Look, I’m not trying to meddle but there is something about him I don’t trust.” I had rolled my eyes at him and brushed off his concern. I had been determined to make it work.

Three months later, and I had no choice but to admit he had been right. Had I been so desperate to have someone that I had overlooked obvious signs that things weren’t going to work out?

“Geez, no,” Sophie whispered. She glanced to where our brother sat beside Sarah. “If he ever found out he would pummel him.”

The last thing I needed was witnesses to my disastrous personal life. And if Matthew found out, Mark would too. And that would take my humiliation to a whole other level.

I let out a sigh and lifted my glass to take another sip of the fizzy alcohol that was loosening me up.

“You’d better let up on the alcohol otherwise you’re going to get drunk,” my sister warned. “The last thing Mom and Dad need is that on their anniversary weekend.”

Her warning didn’t stop me from taking another gulp of my drink.

“I’m only tipsy,” I reasoned with her.

She gave me a disbelieving look. Sometimes she knew me well.

My immediate family, which included Matthew and Sarah along with my aunt, my sister’s mom and her husband, finished dinner.

Mark’s presence drew my attention again and I hated how relaxed he looked compared to how worked up I felt inside.

It had been stressful and I couldn’t wait to get back to my apartment to be on my own.

I liked my own company. Having people around just seemed to complicate things .

Maybe I would be better off as a spinster. Maybe I needed a cat or dog? But I dismissed the thought. I couldn’t even keep a plant alive, so how could I could keep a living thing alive? No, it was more than I could handle, at least for the moment.

I had helped my sister in organizing a weekend to my parents’ favorite country club to celebrate their twenty-seventh wedding anniversary but, seated in the midst of it, I now wished I hadn’t.

We should have stuck to a celebration dinner and been done with it.

To be around Mark for an entire weekend seemed too much to handle at the moment.

Maybe if things had gone better with Jack it would have been easier.

Excluding Mark from the weekend would have only raised eyebrows. He was as good as family, a surrogate son to my parents.

I didn’t know the whole story about Mark’s family and home life but he had spent almost every spare moment outside of school at our house.

From the day my brother had befriended him, they had been inseparable.

They could have passed for brothers with the same coloring and dimples.

He hadn’t been very talkative, instead he had spent most of the time observing our family. He had always been polite but reserved.

Even now, years later, he was still the same guy but just more grown up. Gone were the boyish features that had stolen my heart, and in their place was the hard, defined features of a man who made my skin tingle and pulse quicken.

I’d practically grown up with him around but there was still so much I didn’t know.

I had once asked Matthew about Mark’s family but my brother had told me in no uncertain terms to mind my own business.

I had let it go, too scared that my brother would discover the crush I harbored for his best friend.

The alcohol warmed my tummy and I set down my empty glass.

I had hit my limit and without much food at dinner it was more lethal.

I sat back in my chair and watched my parents head to the dance floor.

It was difficult not to stare at them wistfully, wishing I could find that special someone to share in moments like this.

My mother leaned her small frame into my father’s strong embrace.

My gaze drifted to my brother, who led Sarah onto the dance floor, and I smiled. They were blissful. I wanted him to be happy but it was also a reminder of what I was missing in my life. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the moment that made me feel a little tearful.

“You okay?” Sophie asked, still seated beside me.

I nodded, unable to speak. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to compose myself. “I’m just feeling a little sentimental.”

She put her arm around me and gave me a squeeze. I leaned my head on her shoulder momentarily before releasing a breath. I was too emotional to remain there, I needed space.

“Tell Mom and Dad I had a headache.” I let out a breath to ease the buildup in my chest.

Sophie looked at me with concern but nodded her head. “I love you,” she murmured.

“Ditto,” I replied, squeezing her hand before I hurried out to the nearest exit that led to the lobby at the front of the building.

I opened my clutch purse to fish out my key card for my room. I couldn’t even remember what number it was. I stopped as I searched but couldn’t find anything. Damn it!

I closed my eyes for a moment and let out a heavy breath, trying to remember if I might have left it at the table. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to look for my room key, but no amount of wishing was going to make it appear in my purse.