Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I had a restless night’s sleep before my meeting with the lawyer, so by the time he knocked on my door promptly at nine am, I was ready to find out what was going on.
“Hi,” I answered and ushered him in.
He was older by at least a few years but quite a looker. He wore a dark gray suit and a white crisp shirt with a light blue tie. But unfortunately he did nothing for me. It only made me more resentful toward Mark.
“Good to finally meet you, Miss Weiss,” he greeted when he entered with a briefcase.
The word ‘finally’ implied he had been looking forward to this for a while but he had only contacted me a few days ago. I brushed it off and offered him something to drink. He accepted a glass of water. He removed his jacket and hung it over one of the chairs before he joined me on the sofa.
“I must admit I have no idea what this is all about,” I mentioned nervously, feeling the knot in my stomach.
“This is quite a sensitive matter,” he murmured with sympathetic eyes.
I was more confused by the minute. He opened his briefcase and took out some documents. I saw something with the wording “last will and testament.” Was this about a will?
“If you tell me what is going on, I would really appreciate it,” I said, wanting him to hurry up and get to the point.
He laid the papers on the nearby coffee table before he turned to me.
“This might come as a bit of a shock so I want you to agree to hear me out before you say anything.”
I frowned but nodded in agreement. I would have pretty much agreed to anything as long as he got to the point. The wait was killing me. I bet the possibilities I had come up with were far worse than the real reason he was here.
“The reason I’ve contacted you is to do with your father’s will.”
“No, I’m sorry, my father isn’t dead.” I laughed it off. “You definitely have the wrong person. If you had told me this over the phone, I could have saved you a wasted trip.”
But he still looked as serious as when he had entered my apartment. He shook his head. “Your biological father passed away a couple of weeks ago.”
I blinked, trying to take in his words, but I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. I stood up and backed away from him. Biological father? No. He had to have the wrong person.
“What are you talking about?” There was a distinct tremor in my voice despite my disbelief. My hands shook.
“I know this is a lot to take in but if you will just take a seat, I’ll explain everything.” He indicated a hand to the vacant seat beside him but I shook my head.
“I can hear fine from here.” My mind led me to my next incredible thought but I refused to say it out loud. It scared me too much. Had I been adopted?
“Miss Weiss,” he said my name and I abandoned my thoughts to concentrate on him .
“Tell me.” It came out as a whisper but I couldn’t pretend my world wasn’t shaking right down to the foundation.
“Your mother had an affair with my client and you were a result of that short-lived liaison.”
My mind zoned out when I heard the first part and I gasped, turning away from him. I began to pace, rubbing my forehead, trying to figure out how this guy’s story fit into my well-ordered life.
An affair? That was laughable. My parents were the happiest, most together couple I had ever met. There was no way that had happened.
“I don’t understand. If that happened, why…why?” I was at a loss. I sank down on a chair facing him.
His eyes softened. “Your mother’s husband and your mother patched up their marriage. Your real father decided it was best to give up all rights to you so you would be brought up along with your half-sibling.”
Half-sibling. Matthew. My insides felt like they were being torn as I shook my head. “That can’t be true.” Sophie hadn’t been born yet.
“I have your original birth certificate.”
He held out a paper and I took it from him.
My eyes darted to the mother and I read her full name. Michelle Gayle Weiss. But where I expected to see my father’s name, I saw a stranger’s name, Robert Kyle Westwood.
“I…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
I reeled from the evidence and I was lost.
“I need to discuss the details of your father’s will but I can see you need time to digest the news I’ve given you.”
I swallowed as my eyes lifted to his and I nodded. I wanted him out of my apartment, his revelation unwanted.
“I’ll leave you my business card and you can give me a call when you are ready to hear the details of the will.”
He handed me a card and I held it in my hand .
“This has been quite a shock.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled and got to my feet. He shrugged his jacket on and put the papers that had been sitting on the table back into his briefcase.
I headed to the door and held it open for him.
He paused just before he left my apartment. “It would probably be a good time to mention you have half-siblings from your father.”
That shattered another part of me. “I’ll call you soon,” I whispered, closing the door behind him before he could tell me anything more.
I was fixed to the spot.
I swallowed when my eyes settled on a photo of my family and I found myself picking up the frame, studying it with the new information I had just received.
Not my father? I studied him in the picture and realized how different I looked.
I looked nothing like my older and younger siblings, either.
Matthew and Sophie had always looked more like each other than like me.
They had always teased me, saying I had the proverbial milkman’s eyes.
But there was nothing funny about it now.
While that had been going on, my parents had known the truth and said nothing.
It was then I saw the evidence and then I felt the first tear slide down my face, quickly followed by another.
When my eyes drifted to my mother, I gripped the frame so tightly, my control snapped and I threw the picture against the wall.
It shattered and landed in a mess of broken glass on the floor. I leaned against the wall and cried.
I slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chin while my gaze fixed on the broken frame. That was how I felt, broken. My father, the man who had raised me, wasn’t really my father, and my mother had kept a secret like this from me. The betrayal was too much to digest.
My whole life I had resisted being told what to do and other people had decided what had been best for me. I hadn’t had a voice in it and I felt like I had lost something I would never find again. I didn’t even know what he looked like. I closed my eyes and more tears escaped.
A fury I had never experienced before brought me back to my feet and I went to every photo I had in my living room and threw them all against the wall, one after the other. Every shatter did nothing to ease the pain washing up inside me like I was drowning beneath the pressure of it.
The damage to the wall was nothing compared to the pain I was experiencing.
When there were no more photos, I sank into the sofa and sat with my hand covering my mouth as I sobbed. I had always felt different, and now that there was a reason, it only made the betrayal worse.
For a moment I wondered if my siblings knew, but I couldn’t believe they would know this and wouldn’t feel compelled to tell me.
My face dropped into my hands and I cried again. There was no stopping the pain or the betrayal that tore through me.
My whole world had been a lie and I had no idea what I was going to do.
I was numb. It was the only way to describe the emptiness inside of me, but it was a relief from the pain I had wrestled with for the last few days.
I hadn’t answered any phone calls and I had canceled all my work commitments for the week.
All knocks to my apartment door had also gone unanswered.
First there had been Matthew and then Mark.
I had curled up in the corner of the living room, wishing they would go away.
Sleep and food had been practically nonexistent. I was exhausted but unable to sleep more than a few hours. My stomach growled. It had been difficult to separate my physical pain from my emotional turmoil.
It was early morning when there was a determined knock. I lay in my bed, unable to even get up.
“Tracy.”
It was Mark. His voice reached inside me and I felt the welling up of emotion.
“Just let us know you’re okay.” I wanted to be able to do as he asked, but everything took more effort than I could muster.
“If you don’t say something, I’m going to break the fucking door down.”
With that threat, I dragged myself to my feet and walked over to the door.
“Go away,” I said hoarsely, unable to pretend everything was fine.
“Let me in.”
I leaned my cheek against the door and closed my eyes. I wasn’t going to but, for a moment, I imagined what it would feel like to let someone into my hell to ease the burden, but I couldn’t.
“No. Please, go away. Tell everyone…I’m fine. I don’t want my parents to know there is anything wrong.” I didn’t want them to know I knew about their secret and feared them discovering the lawyer’s visit would alert them. When I confronted them, it would be on my own terms and when I was ready.
“They don’t know anything. What happened, Tracy?” he asked, and I remained quiet. “Does it have to do with the guy who came by?”
My head snapped away from the door like he had slapped me, and I backed a step away.
“Are you in trouble?” he pleaded.
I rubbed my hands over my face .
“I can help you, whatever it is.”
The pain washed over me like a wave. No one could fix this. My throat burned.
“You can’t help me,” I said loud enough so he would be able to hear me through the door. I needed him to leave. I couldn’t pretend to be okay when I had unknowingly lived a lie my entire life.
“Tracy, you’re scaring me.” The hoarseness in his voice pushed me forward and put my hand to the door handle.
“I need time and space.”
There were several seconds of silence.
“I don’t want to leave you, but I will. If that’s what you need.”