Chapter 16 #2
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
He hugged me and I was taken by surprise. When I hugged him back awkwardly, he released me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”
“No, it’s fine.” I brushed my hair behind my ear. I wanted to feel that same brotherly love for him that I felt for Matthew, but I didn’t. He was still a stranger to me.
“You can be honest with me. I might overstep sometimes and you need to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable. I don’t want to do something that might push you away.” He sounded so sincere and there was a part of me that felt something for him. It wasn’t love, but I cared.
“There’s a lot to figure out and…sometimes it might take me a while to come around, but there isn’t anything you can do that will push me away,” I reassured him. “You’re my brother and I want you in my life.”
He smiled brilliantly but there was no hiding the relief. “That’s good to hear.”
For once I had an insight into the fact that I wasn’t the only one who was dealing with nerves and a situation I didn’t know how to navigate.
“It’s time to meet the other brother and my mom.”
I nodded. I hoped Cole was as welcoming as Sebastian.
My palms felt sweaty and I wiped them on my skirt as Sebastian closed the door and led me into the living room. It was overwhelming but I pushed through it.
When I entered the room behind Sebastian, I took a breath and when he exited my line of vision, I saw another man, who looked very similar to Sebastian, step forward. Cole.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Tracy,” he said.
“It’s nice…” Emotion clogged my throat and I was unable to finish my sentence.
He squeezed my arm gently.
An older woman then stepped into my line of sight. Mrs. Westwood.
“Hi,” she said softly, and I nodded, trying to stop myself from tearing up further.
“I’m Maggie. Come, sit,” she said and led me to the sofa where she sat down beside me. Cole and Sebastian took single seats across from us.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, hating how overwhelmed I was. I hadn’t expected this.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Mrs. Westwood said. “I can’t imagine how difficult it was to discover the truth. We probably should have given you more time to get used to the idea.”
“It’s fine.” I wiped the wet tears from my cheeks.
She studied me for a few moments. “You’re beautiful.” She touched my cheek. Was she seeing a part of my father in me?
“This can’t be easy for you,” I whispered.
She smiled, taking both my hands into hers. “That is something I dealt with a long time ago. It wasn’t easy but it was nothing compared to Robert giving you up. ”
I still felt a sharp pain when I thought about it. “Why?”
“He didn’t want to tear apart two families, and he believed it would be better for you.”
“I wish I’d gotten to meet him.”
“Me too.” Her eyes misted over. “I have something to show you.”
She leaned to get what looked like a photo album on the coffee table in front of us. She handed me the album and I settled it on my knees. It was quite big.
Was it photos of my father? I frowned when I opened it up. On the first page was a photo of a baby. I looked closer. It was a photo of me when I was a newborn.
“It’s me,” I murmured when I looked up at Maggie.
She nodded.
I flipped to the next photo. I looked like I was about a year old with a one-tooth smile. How had he gotten the photo?
“I don’t understand.” I flipped to the next one and then the next one. There were photos for each stage of my life.
“He never forgot about you. He watched you grow up from afar.”
It made me feel better than believing he had handed me over without thinking about me again until he discovered he was going to die.
“How did he get these?” I asked. Some looked like they had been taken when I had been playing in the yard. Some were with Matthew and Sophie. But there were some that were duplicated of my school photos.
“Some he got from your mother… some he took when he went to see you.”
My fingers tightened on the page of my toothy smile in fourth grade.
“I found the album when I was eighteen and he told Cole and I about you,” Sebastian explained. “We wanted to meet you but he didn’t want to turn your world upside down. ”
My eyes lifted to meet my brother’s. “I don’t know how this makes me feel.”
I was lost somewhere between the pain of being abandoned and the knowledge that he hadn’t entirely turned his back on me. It complicated my feelings for my parents.
I was fixated on the book in my hands. It gave me some insight to the man who was my father.
I flipped pages quietly, taking in each photo that had captured a moment of my life through the years until I finally reached the last page.
It was taken about a year ago. It had been taken outside my parents’ house.
I had been talking to Mark. My fingers brushed over it.
Had he realized from watching me how I felt about Mark?
I closed the book and handed it back to Maggie. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She returned it to the table. “Do you have any questions?”
“What was he like?” I asked.
I had asked Sebastian the same question. I wanted to hear about him so I could figure out what I had inherited from him, hoping it would make me feel closer to him in some way. He wasn’t here to talk to or get to know, so the only way was for me to ask the people who knew and loved him.