Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Coffee burns my tongue. I hiss, running my tongue along the roof of my mouth. Damn.
I glance at the clock, surprised to see how little time has passed since I last checked it. I don’t work today, and I don’t know what to do with myself.
My gaze shifts to the pile of books sitting on my coffee table. I finished the one Mary helped me check out yesterday, and I didn’t waste time picking out several more. I’m going to spend the day reading them.
I reach for one, but my black marking steals my attention. Well, it threatens to. I refuse to look at it. The smudged lines hover at the edge of my vision, and I last only two seconds before looking at them. Black. Smudged. Dead.
I turn, burying my face into one of my couch cushions, then scream. It’s cathartic. I continue until my chest is heaving and my vocal cords hurt. That feels better. Kind of.
I shove my hair out of my face and pick up my book. Mary held back laughter as she checked it out, but she didn’t outright mock me for my genre choice. It wouldn’t have bothered me. I’m not ashamed of my desire for romance.
Mary was oddly tame with me. I wouldn’t go as far as to say she was helpful or friendly, but her dirty glares were softer and she didn’t snap at me when I forgot to use Caleb’s Alpha title.
I open to where I left off, skimming mindlessly over the words. This book isn’t capturing my attention as much as I hoped, but I’m over halfway finished and determined to see it through.
My eyes grow droopy about fifty pages in, and I stick a bookmark between the pages before rolling onto my side and letting my eyes slip shut. Sleep hovers at the edges of my mind, threatening to pull me under, before abruptly vanishing as somebody bangs on my door.
I jerk upright, annoyed and disoriented as I scramble to my feet and make my way to the door.
The banging continues, growing louder with each passing second.
What the fuck is going on? Caleb would never knock like this, not unless it were an emergency.
Is it an emergency? I hurry, ripping open the door.
My shoulders fall when I lock eyes with Adam.
I frown. “What do you want?”
My infuriating neighbor frowns and steps back. He looks me up and down, openly judging my clothing. I’m wearing Caleb’s shirt, the one Adam caught me in after I spent the night at Caleb’s house. I cross my arms over my chest.
The corner of Adam’s lip twitches. He’s laughing at me.
It’s not like he’s in a much better state of dress. His sweatpants hang loosely off his hips, and his shirt looks to be at least twenty years old. The once-dark color has faded to a dingy gray, and I’m pretty sure I spot a hole near his armpit.
“Well?” I prompt.
Adam sighs, already annoyed. I don’t understand why. He’s the one bothering me. He works his jaw from side to side before shoving a piece of paper against my chest.
I scramble to catch it. “What the fuck?”
“Everybody is talking about how you didn’t know what a library card was.”
Okay? What am I supposed to do with that information? I assume everything I do is spoken about among the shifters. I seem to be a fun topic of discussion.
The paper Adam shoved at me is folded up, and I exhale as I unfold it. There’s a handwritten list of bullet points inside. I read through it, beyond confused. What is this supposed to be?
1. The coffee shop you frequent has a reward program. Ask them for a punch card the next time you go in. Every tenth coffee is free.
2. If a shifter asks you to play catch, say no. You are the object to catch, and they will chase you.
3. Stay away from shifter toddlers. They bite.
4. Your mate has been frequenting the bonfires to burn his extra energy. Mateless shifter women have been all over him, hoping to catch his attention. It’s embarrassing that you haven’t shown up to put them in their place.
5. I’m an elementary school teacher. Third grade. You once ran past the elementary school. Don’t do that again. The children ran to the windows and mocked your form.
6. You have poor running form. Push your shoulders back and shorten your strides. You look like you’re about to topple over. It’s unattractive.
7. Your apartment smells stale. Open your windows.
What the fuck is this? I reread the list, skipping over the fourth item. I don’t care to read about Caleb’s interactions with other women, especially not while Adam is here to see my every reaction. He’ll take sick pleasure in my discomfort.
I also skip over his insults on my running. I have excellent form. Daniel made sure of that.
“What’s the point of this?” I ask. Is he trying to help or humiliate me? I can’t tell.
Adam scratches the stubble on his jaw. “You made me cookies. I don’t want to owe you.” He rocks back on his heels, then jerks his chin toward the list. “Did you see what I wrote about Knox and the mateless women?”
“Yes.” I shove the note into my pocket. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Word is spreading about your upbringing. There’s been a lot of speculation about your relationship with HPAW…
” Adam trails off, grimacing, before continuing.
“I work with children. I see how vulnerable they are—how vulnerable you must have been. I don’t really like you, but you don’t deserve all the hate you’re getting. ”
I suck my cheeks into my mouth, my eyes narrowing.
“I tried to kill your alpha…” I point out.
Adam nods. “Yeah, and he’s lying to you about your mate bond.” He points to my hand. “His is no longer darkening. The color stopped changing days ago. Knox is prolonging the inevitable, and with HPAW’s recent attacks, we don’t need the uncertainty. I’m taking it upon myself to speed things along.”
Caleb’s marking is no longer darkening? I need to sit. My head swims as I retreat to my couch, dropping onto the cushion nearest the door. Adam welcomes himself inside my apartment, shutting the door behind him.
“Do you want a drink?” he asks.
I don’t answer. Adam doesn’t even seem to notice as he looks around, taking in my space. Under normal circumstances, I’d wonder what he thinks of it, but I genuinely don’t give a fuck right now. Caleb’s marking is no longer darkening? Why hasn’t he said anything?
“He told me his mark would blacken and our bond would die,” I say. “He said that once both of ours were black, he’d be free to take a wife.”
Adam hums. “That’s true.” He crosses my apartment and pushes open two of my windows. “Two blackened marks equal a dead bond.” He makes his way to my stack of books, flicking through them. He doesn’t comment on the genre as he shifts his focus to my old notes.
“Your notes are unorganized…” he mumbles. “Knox should enroll you in higher education.”
I ignore his snobby insults. “Why do you think his mark stopped darkening?”
“I’ll have Mary direct you to the grammar books the next time you visit the library,” he continues. “They’ll be better for your brain than this…” He taps his fingers against the top book in my stack. “This erotica.”
He picks it up and reads the back, his eyebrows raising. “I might have to borrow this once you’re finished.”
“How do you know his mark stopped darkening?” I’m running out of patience.
Adam sets my book down. “I’m not sure Knox will be pleased to learn his mate is reading porn.”
“I’m sure he’ll be even less pleased to learn there’s a male in my home making comments about my porn,” I snap.
Adam barks out a laugh. “Fair point.” He extends his hand, showing me his marking.
His is floral like mine, but while mine is covered in intricate details, his is simpler.
Thin vines travel up his thumb and pointer finger before joining together on top of his hand and wrapping around his wrist. It’s a light pink, close to the crisp, white color of an untainted mark, but not quite.
“It got pretty dark while I was attending university,” Adam admits. “I struggled with the fidelity aspect of having a bonded mate. Why should I save myself for a woman I don’t know? I let women put their mouths on me.”
“I’m surprised to learn shifter women were willing to touch a man who isn’t their mate.”
“I attended a human university in America.” He waves his hand, casually dismissing the direction of our conversation, as if he didn’t just drop a giant bomb.
He attended an American university? How many shifters are doing that?
How long has this been going on? I assume the universities are unaware.
I also assume that’s not where the infiltration ends.
How many facets of human life do the shifters still have access to?
Are they in our government? Are there shifters in disguise as HPAW members?
“I’ve yet to meet my mate,” Adam continues.
“But I’m excited for her. I’ve matured since university, and I treat my bond with the respect it deserves.
My mark has lightened over the years. I’m hoping it will be white by the time we meet.
I won’t lie to her about my past, and my mark will prove that my intentions are pure.
” Adam flexes his hand. “Not every shifter is lucky enough to lighten their mark. It’s rare, but it happens. You’re doing something the bond likes.”
I can’t imagine what that would be. Other than my one moment of weakness the other day, the one that led me to his bed, I’ve been successfully avoiding Caleb. He’s been doing the same to me, too.
“You should really stake your claim on him soon,” Adam continues. “We need our alphas united. It’s how packs operate, and you two are fucking everything up. It’s selfish.”
I don’t know what to think of any of this.
Adam gestures to my hand. “Your mark was deep red when you joined the pack. Why?”
“HPAW encouraged me to do things they knew would harm my bond with Caleb.”
“Like what?”
I smack my tongue against the roof of my mouth. “Have sex, primarily.”
Adam’s eyebrows furrow. “I was with two to three women a night for several years, and my mark didn’t come even close to being as dark as yours. You must’ve had a lot of sex.”
I hide my hands behind my back.
“You were captured when you were seven…” Adam trails off, looking for confirmation. I give it with a curt nod. “How old were you when they started encouraging you to have sex?”
I turn away, staring at the wall beside his head. That’s none of his fucking business.
“Well?” Adam urges.
“I’m not sure,” I spit out. “I was thirteen, maybe.”
Adam whispers a hushed curse, then paces the length of my living room. I remain where I am, watching his long legs carry him from one side of my apartment to the other. What’s his problem?
“They brought you other thirteen-year-olds?” he eventually asks.
I scoff. “Of course not. The facility was swarming with soldiers. I’d pick from them.”
“And how old were those soldiers?” Adam asks.
I bite my bottom lip, refusing to answer. They were adults. He knows that. I know that. It doesn’t need to be said out loud.
“Evelyn… I’m so sorry.”
“You should go,” I say, interrupting. “You’ve given me a lot to think about, and I’d like to be left alone now.”
Adam looks like he wants to argue, his mouth opening and shutting, before he turns and leaves. I lock the door behind him, then retreat to my couch. I lie face down, letting everything I just learned absorb. Caleb’s mark is no longer darkening, which he very conveniently hasn’t mentioned.
I’m no fool. He’s going to those bonfires, letting unmated women throw themselves at him. I’m sure there are a few who are excited at the prospect of being chosen as his wife. He’s letting it happen, and it’s apparently so egregious that my asshole neighbor has taken pity and told me.
Jealousy colors my vision red. I’m done trying, done making a fool of myself.
I made mistakes, but I’m a victim, too. Caleb insists on ignoring that, blaming me for everything that’s gone wrong between us. It’s exhausting, and I’m done.