Chapter 19
HONOR
“You’re worthless. A nobody who should have just found a way to kill yourself.
Savage doesn’t need you. He’s got all of us.
You can’t possibly give a man like him what he needs.
I mean, look at you, you’re pathetic. And for trying to take something that’s not yours, you deserve every bit of what happened to you, bitch. ”
Those words keep swirling in my head over and over again. I barely register anything else.
“Come on, baby, breathe for me. Calm down for me,” Savage murmurs, his voice gruff. I hear the anger in his voice. His arms flex around me, holding me tighter, almost squeezing the breath right out of me. “Honor, come back to me.”
Sucking in a heavy breath, I sniffle and burrow into his front. The feeling of him surrounding me has me feeling safe. But those words still circulate, spinning in my head.
“What’s going on here?” a woman’s voice demands loudly. The softness of it isn’t missed, nor is the curiosity.
“Fuck me,” Hammer grunts. “What the hell are you all doing here? I didn’t know you were coming.”
Hearing the agitation in Hammer’s voice, I let out a shuddered breath and looked over to the entrance to find two ruthless-looking men, both with arm wrapped around two different women. One of the men and women share similar looks with Hammer.
“We told you we were coming to see the newest additions to the family,” one of the men states.
“Hades, you were supposed to tell me when.”
“We’re here now,” the woman in Hades’s arm says, waving an arm nonchalantly. “So, what’s going on? We heard screaming from outside.” The way her eyes take in the clubwhore, you can see her mind working. “Oh, please tell me the bitch was getting her ass kicked for good reason.”
“Emerson,” Hammer growls.
“What?” Emerson mutters sheepishly. “You all know I’ve had my fair share of dealing with skanks.” She laughs and jumps, clapping her hands. “Ooooh, please say I can have a turn at her. I’ll throw her out on her ass.”
“I have other plans for the bitch.”
The deep baritone of Savage’s voice sends chills down my spine at the way he said this.
“Brother,” Malice speaks up warningly.
“I agree with Savage, bitch needs to learn a lesson,” Gunner growls.
“Prospect, take the bitch out back and secure her place in a cell,” Hammer orders. “We’ll deal with her after you get Honor settled, Savage.”
“Right,” Savage grunts, drops his arms from around my waist, scoops me in his arms, and without another word, he carries me through the clubhouse to his room.
“You want me to grab one of the sedatives?” my brother asks, following us.
“No, I’ve got this,” Savage remarks, not stopping until he’s at his door. “I’ll catch up with you in a bit.” Without letting me go, he unlocks, opens, and steps through the door before closing it with his foot.
Savage moves through the room until he’s at his bed, deposits me in the middle, and joins me there with his arm going around me.
“You okay, baby?”
The simple question has butterflies in my stomach at the tenderness in his voice.
“No,” I answer honestly.
“Talk to me. What’s going through your head right now?”
“I . . . I don’t . . . I just lost it. She wouldn’t leave me alone. I asked her to walk away.”
“Baby,” Savage utters, tucking me into him. “No one gives a shit. You beat the hell out of her, I want to know where your head’s at. I gotta be able to help you through it. To do that, I need to be able to know what you’re thinking.”
“What she said . . . she said . . .” I take a breath, eyes closed tightly. “I was worthless. A nobody. That I should’ve killed myself and left you alone. She said I wasn’t enough for you and that I wouldn’t give you what you wanted. And . . . and that I deserved what happened to me.”
“I’ll kill the bitch,” he growls tersely. “She’s fuckin’ dead for saying that shit to you.”
“I lost it on her when she said I deserved what happened to me. Like she knew exactly what happened. It was in her eyes. The way she seemed to gloat about it.”
“What do you mean, baby?” Savage asks, lifting on an elbow.
I open my eyes and meet his gaze, only to lose my breath at the rage swirling in his eyes. “Savage.”
“Honor, tell me what you mean. How did that bitch seem to be gloating?”
“It was in her eyes. The way she smirked. How she spoke. The smugness. I could tell she knew everything. And I mean everything.”
“Fuck me,” he snarls, jerks away, and gets to his feet where he starts pacing. “That bitch is going to suffer. I’m gonna find out what she was playing out.”
“Savage,” I whisper.
His eyes come to me for a split second before he keeps pacing. “I won’t let this shit slide. Not for a single second. The bullshit you’ve gone through is enough. I finally got you. You’re mine, and the bitches around here are going to learn. They do not fuck with you. I won’t allow it.”
“But . . .”
“No buts about it.” Whirling around on his toes, he comes back and climbs over me. “You’re mine, baby. I told you, you’re safe here. That I’m not going to let shit happen to you. That bitch crossed the line, and now they’re all gonna learn no one fucks with you again.”
I open my mouth to say something, but Savage’s mouth comes to mine.
He claims my mouth, tongue sliding in mine.
With just his kiss, everything else evaporates.
I’m left in a fog surrounding me and this beautiful man.
With every touch, each movement he makes, I’m consumed.
What happened disappears, and I’m left thinking only of him.
Savage makes quick work of both his and my clothes. His body between mine, his cock lined up with my entrance, he thrusts home, taking me deep, taking me ruthlessly, taking me just how I need him. How I want him.
It doesn’t take long before he has me crying out, screaming his name as I’m hurdled over the edge of the abyss. My release washes through me, sending jolting sparks up and down my spine. It feels so good, and soon Savage joins me with a groan of his own.
The whole moment is beautiful, and he takes his time in pulling out. Rolling to his side, he pulls me into him. Still in my fog, I tilt my head back and meet his gaze. “You don’t use protection with me.”
“What?” He blinks.
“Condoms. You don’t use them with me,” I murmur.
Savage tenses, drops his head back on the pillow, and stares up at the ceiling. “Fuck.”
I didn’t take that as a good sign. Sucking in a breath, I bite my lip, wishing I hadn’t said anything.
But it wasn’t the first time. Even the time months ago, he did the same.
When I was raped, they were smart enough to wear condoms. I remember.
I remember them stating they didn’t want to accidentally knock the bitch up.
One said they should but that I’d probably kill it because of them, and since their DNA was in the system, they didn’t want to leave it inside me.
Still, that didn’t stop them from also jerking off on me or peeing on me.
I close my eyes at the thought, pushing its way to the front of my mind.
It’s not the first time I’ve thought about it, what they did to me.
I’ve thought about it time and time again.
Each time it feels like my skin is crawling and I want to scrub it all away.
This time is no different, with the way Savage is acting about what I just told him. Like I tainted him.
I roll the opposite way and start to get out of the bed, only to be foiled by an arm wrapping around my waist.
“Where you going?” he demands gruffly.
“To take a shower.” Right now, I totally need one. I need to scrub the prickling feeling from my skin.
“Why?”
I blink at the way he asks this.
“Why what?”
“Why are you going to take a shower?”
I clamp my mouth shut, not about to tell him what I’d been thinking.
“Honor.”
“What?”
“Answer me,” he states warningly. “Why are you going to take a shower?”
Something in the way he warned me to answer him has me doing just that, but I do it looking away. “Because I need to scrub it away. Scrub them away.”
“Fuckin’ hell, look at me, baby,” he demands, gripping my chin and forcing me to do as he commands.
“I need to scrub them away, scrub the feeling of what they did . . .”
Savage jumps out of the bed, takes me with him, and stalks to the bathroom. He turns the shower on. When it heats, he puts us in with the shower curtain closed, tight.
He doesn’t say a word to me, nor does he stop holding my gaze, not even when he gets the soap. Using his hands, he washes my body. It feels like heaven, and with each touch, it’s like he’s trying to erase the feeling of them on me and replace it with his own touch.
I love the feel of his hands on me, but with the way he acted . . . “Savage.”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Why did you tense when I told you about—”
“Didn’t think about it, not once when it comes to you,” he says, interrupting me. “I’ve always worn protection. I didn’t want to take the chance. Not again.”
“What do you mean not again?” I whisper, my throat tightening.
“I told you about my sister killing my fiancée. What I didn’t tell you was she also killed my son she’d been carrying,” he answers.
My heart clenches, and my throat closes all the more at the pain filling Savage’s voice. He lost everything that could matter to him.
“I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Doesn’t change the fact it hurts. That you lost them.”
“Yeah.” Savage slides his hands up my sides, up to my neck.
“Lost them. Loved Mary. We were friends who got pregnant because we fucked once without using a condom. I asked her to marry me, and we were on our way to having a family. Then shit when down. I lost them all. Each and every one of them. But losing them doesn’t compare to what it would do to me if I lost you.
It gutted me what you went through. What those bastards did.
I don’t like you having to suffer thoughts of them.
Especially if those thoughts come on after I touch you. ”
“It wasn’t you touching me that brought the thought on but you pulling away.”
“Get that, baby,” he says, leaning in to press a kiss to my lips, “but still, I’m gonna erase the feeling they left you with. Starting now.”
I open my mouth to say something else, but Savage claims it, giving me a kiss that makes my toes curl, and my body heat the way it does only for him. He then proceeds to erase what happened to me by giving me much better memories of him, his hands, mouth, tongue, and other parts of him.
It’s beautiful and makes me fall for him that much more. He says he couldn’t stand if something happened to me, the same goes for me when it comes to him. Savage means everything to me.