Chapter 21
HONOR
Feeling uneasy, I walked into the doctor’s office, I decided I wanted to look into working for. It’s been a couple of days since what happened at the clubhouse, and I thought a lot about what that skank pulled. About what Savage told me, both before we went to the clubhouse and in the shower.
With how much he lost and overcame, I know I can do the same as well. I will.
It’s why my first step is to start working again, but that doesn’t stop my sense of unease.
Savage brought me and stayed outside, considering the type of doctor’s office it is.
I told him that I applied to work in a women’s specialist office that deals in high-risk deliveries.
The look he gave me could only be described as a mixture of pride and pain.
Pride because I’m going back to work. Pain, I’m sure, is due to thoughts of Mary and their unborn child. I know it’s hard on him anytime he thinks about their loss. Hell, it hurts me just thinking about it.
Sitting in Dr. Goodwin’s office, I place my own hand over my stomach as my thoughts shift to what if I were pregnant. Then it hits me, but I don’t get to think more of it before Dr. Goodwin steps into the room.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Honor,” she states, a smile beaming in my direction. “I’m so glad you called about the position.”
I’ve known Dr. Goodwin ever since starting at the ER. She’s been called in on several occasions when needed. I’ve always liked her and her ethics. The best part is her office is across from the hospital and not in the same parking lot.
“I was just thankful you were able to take my call.”
Dr. Goodwin takes a seat across from me behind her desk and takes me in, eyes not missing the fact I’m holding my stomach. “Now, are you here for the position or something else?”
“For the nursing position,” I answer and bite my lower lip. “But if you also have time, can you run a test for me?”
“Of course,” she says. “I’ve already decided the job is yours.”
“Really?” I blink, totally surprised by the announcement. “I have the job?”
“Honor, I’ve known you for a long time now.
I know the way you work and that you care for all the patients that come through the door.
You’re not stupid by any means, and you’re compassionate.
That’s what I want in my employees. I think you’d be a great fit here.
I always have thought that.” Dr. Goodwin pauses for a moment and sighs.
“Now that being said, I did hear what happened with you being attacked. I need to know that you’re okay with working so close to where you were taken from? ”
“It’s hard. It’s been extremely hard at times,” I confess, my eyes dropping to my wrists. “I have moments of struggling, but I’m getting better. I have a great support system, and they look out for me. I’m ready for this. Ready to take the next step.”
“Good, then we’ll get you started next week. Now, tell me, when was the last time you had a period?” Dr. Goodwin asks, changing the subject after telling me my start date.
“I don’t know,” I confess and furrow my brow. “It’s what I was trying to figure out. I mean, I’ve always been off. Never regular by any means.”
“When you were attacked, did they do any testing then? The tests you’re supposed to have done afterward to check you for any STDs or pregnancy?
“Yes.” I nod. “They tested for STDs several times now. Pregnancies no. I didn’t think about that. Not until the other day, but I remember they used a condom.”
“You know they’re not always foolproof.”
“I know.” I breathe. “I guess I was just praying that they . . . well, you know . . . that they worked this time.”
“Have you been with anyone before or since you didn’t use protection with?”
“Yes,” I whisper nervously. My mind turning over with the possibilities.
“Right then, let’s first get a urine sample, see what that says.” Dr. Goodwin gets to her feet. “No need to stress if it comes back negative.”
“Yeah.” I nod and follow her out of the office.
A few minutes later, I gave her a sample, and the two of us went into one of the patient rooms to wait for the results. Two minutes go by, and she confirms what I have a feeling she would.
I’m pregnant.
“I’m going to bring my ultrasound cart in here, see if we can’t get eyes on the little one. Find out how far along you are.”
Breathing heavily, I nod. Dr. Goodwin starts for the door, and I grab her wrists, getting her attention. “I lost my virginity the night before the attack. What if . . . what if . . . how could I find out for sure?”
“One step at a time, Honor,” she remarks softly, patting the back of my hand.
“Okay,” I whisper and let her go.
Dr. Goodwin steps from the room, and a couple of minutes pass before she comes back, wheeling in a cart. “I’m going to start with one wand and if we don’t see anything we’ll switch to the other.”
“Okay,” I whisper again, knowing what she’s talking about.
Lying back, I lift my shirt and lower my pants enough for her as she sets everything up.
After what feels like an eternity, she squirts warm gel against my abdomen and a moment later right there on the screen is a small picture of the baby inside me.
Tears fill my eyes as fear threatens to clog my throat.
“Well, this confirms it.”
I swallow down my fear and look from the screen to Dr. Goodwin. “How do I find out the paternity of the baby?”
“We can do a test by drawing a sample of your blood. We just need a sample from one of the other men.”
I knew now with the new technology out there, they could take a sample of my blood and a DNA swab from one of the men to determine if they are the father. Thankfully, Savage is here with me, and we can get an answer. “Can we do that today?”
“If you would like.” She nods. “I’ll put a rush on it.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” While she finishes taking measurements, I quickly send a text to Savage asking him to come inside.
By the time he’s there, Dr. Goodwin has pictures printed and is taking my blood.
“What’s going on?” Savage demands, eyes filled with confusion as he stares at the blood filling a tube. Without a word, I hand him the picture. Slowly, Savage takes it. His body visibly tenses at the sight of the image, and he brings his gaze to mine. “You’re pregnant?”
Tears shimmer in my eyes, blurring my vision, and I nod. “Yes.”
“Sir, if you will, can we please get a sample from you? We’re going to run a DNA test to ensure you are the father,” Dr. Goodwin states, cutting straight to the reason he’s in here.
“Yeah,” he answers gruffly, not taking his eyes off me. Moving to my side, he wraps an arm around me and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “It’s gonna be all right, baby.”
“Okay,” I murmur and wait for Dr. Goodwin to finish.
Five minutes later, she finishes taking my blood and getting a sample from Savage.
“I’m putting a rush on this. It could still take a couple of days but I’m going to try and get the results faster than that. I’ll call you once they’re in. Try not to stress over it. And I’ll see you next week. Monday. Eight a.m.”
“Thank you, Dr. Goodwin.” I give her a small smile and turn with Savage.
Neither of us speaks as we make our way to his bike.
Only then does he turn me to face him, his strong arms going around my waist. “Whatever comes of this, baby, I’m here. We’re going to get through this. Got me?”
“If it’s not yours, I don’t know if I can handle having this baby,” I murmur, my lip trembling.
“Like I said, baby, whatever comes of this, I’m here.”
“What if it’s not yours? You . . . you lost . . . I mean . . .”
“Yeah, baby, I lost my son. One I never got to know. Never held. It sucked. Hurts to think about, but that’s then, this is now.
Shit happened. It’s fucked. We fucked, and the very next day, work shit went down.
I can see where your head’s at. I get it.
I get you. And, baby, when it comes to it, I’m behind you one hundred percent. ”
“I love you.” The words spill from my lips before I can hold back, not that I would even try. Savage means everything to me, and I want him to know it. I want the world to know it.
Still, I’m scared this baby isn’t his and that I’ll lose him.
Savage slides a hand up to grip my chin between two fingers and holds me still as he tilts his head, presses his lips to mine, and whispers, “Good, baby, ‘cause I love you too.”
Considering the way he is with me, I know this. I’ve seen it with my brother and Zinnia. Hammer and Avery, Malice and Willow. The same goes for the rest. They show it in ways that interfere with how badass they all are. Savage is no different, and he doesn’t mind me knowing with the way he acts.
“Now, how about we head out to that burger joint you like,” he suggests.
“We’ll celebrate you getting the job. Then you can call and talk to Delaney.
You haven’t talked to her in a few days.
After that, I want you to call the therapist and see if you can get in before your appointment this week.
As for later on, you and I have plans at home that involve us dealing with those flowerbeds.
Once we finish that, I intend to fuck you hard and fast because I’m gonna let you in on something. ”
“What’s that?” I blurt.
“That I’m confident that baby inside you is mine. That I knocked you up that very first night we were together,” he declares.
My heart patters against my chest wall, and my breath catches at those words. And I pray to God he’s right because I couldn’t handle it any other way.