Chapter 8
Eight
Astrid
"Can you hand me the gold pins?" I asked Katie. "The good ones?"
Holding the gauzy fabric on the dress form with one hand, I reached out my other for the pins that my ever-efficient assistant soon placed in my palm. She let me work in quiet a few moments before I stepped back, eyeing my latest creation.
"What do you think? Am I onto something or is it giving 'trying too hard to be avant-garde'?"
She laughed her easy laugh. "I think it's good."
Hmm. The way she said good, I knew she meant not so good. It was her kind way of sparing my feelings.
I blew out a sigh in frustration because she was right. It was forgettable. The same problem I'd had during my previous runway show. It'd been fine, just okay, but that wasn't enough for me.
So far in this cut-throat industry, I was just known as a rich daddy's girl indulging in her rich girl hobby. And just like my sisters, I hated that. I wanted to forge my own path, make waves, have a real impact, and do something spectacular that would make people take notice.
I looked at the dress again, as if staring at it harder might unlock some hidden brilliance. But all I saw was fabric on a form, whispering no new ideas to me.
It seemed like it was at the tip of my fingers, the big idea, and it drove me crazy not to be able to pinpoint it. Like a word stuck on the edge of my tongue, taunting me.
This upcoming fashion week was my big chance, and I had to do better.
There was a knock outside my studio door, and a split second later, my sister Aria stepped inside the room, Ethan following her. A cold blast of air followed them in, the scent of winter clinging to their coats.
She didn't come by very often, so it caught my attention, and I immediately stopped what I was doing.
"Is everything okay?" I asked her. "Mom and Dad?"
"Yes, yes, of course. It's nothing bad."
Realizing I'd been holding my breath, I exhaled with relief. Why did I always have to jump to the worst possible scenario? Even if it was nothing bad, it was something though. I knew it just from her being here... with Ethan as well.
I studied their faces and couldn't figure it out. Aria looked excited, her skin glowing, and not just with love. And Ethan? Well, he seemed a little uncomfortable, like maybe he didn't want to come along.
Thinking back, had he ever been in my studio before? I didn't think so.
He glanced around the room, my slightly chaotic home away from home in a building that I shared with other creatives, his eyes skimming over the bolts of fabric and the design sketches pinned to a corkboard as he headed for the overstuffed couch in one corner.
Katie, bless her heart, read the writing on the wall and excused herself for lunch while I followed my sister over to the little sitting area. Clearing off a pile of fabric swatches, I sat facing them, the tall windows behind them letting in the morning light.
"So?" I prodded, my heart pounding in anticipation. "What's going on?"
Aria looked at Ethan, widening her eyes as if willing him to speak. Chuckling, he shook his head. "All right. I guess my darling girlfriend wants me to tell the story."
I pounced on his words. "What story?"
His eyes roamed the messy counter space. "Do you happen to have some water?" he asked.
"Ethan!" Aria chided. "Just tell her already."
Taking pity on the man, I grabbed a bottle of icy cold water from a mini fridge hidden behind a cloth curtain and handed it to him before sitting down again, my blood pressure rising as my sister and I both watched him drain nearly half the bottle in one go.
"So I got a phone call yesterday afternoon," he finally began, setting the water down then leaning in closer with his elbows on his knees. "From Tristan Hawthorne."
The blood drained from my face as I took in his words.
"Yeah," he said, his voice full of sympathy.
I looked at my sister, her expression tight with worry. "I told him everything."
Even though it hurt to have him know all of my most humiliating business, it was for the best. He was family now, and he had my full trust. I knew with my whole heart that he would never betray me.
The day after the ball, I'd called both of my sisters for an emergency meeting, and they'd come over within an hour.
That's how strong our bond was. When one of us lit up the bat signal, the others came running.
And I'd told them the entire sordid story, going through a box of tissues as I spilled all.
In the days since, I'd tried my best to forget about that horror show of an ending to my big night and get back to my normal life. Any time my thoughts started to spiral, which was often, I'd forced myself to think of work, work, work.
But now, Tristan Hawthorne had found a way to disrupt me while I was here in my sacred space.
"What did he want?" I whispered to my sister's boyfriend.
"You."
That simple word sent a shock of awareness through my body. "Me?"
"Yes, you," Ethan repeated. "He said he'd met a woman at the winter ball and she'd run off without giving her name. And he was hoping I could track her down."
I blinked at him, my mouth hanging open, still stunned. "How do you even know him?"
He shrugged. "Just through business. I've helped him out a few times with cybersecurity concerns. I'm not sure why he contacted me for this particular, uh, issue, but he did. He asked me to look at the security footage for one. He thought you might have taken off your mask as you were leaving."
I thought back to that night, and I hadn't. So good. Take that, asshole.
Not that it mattered now, because, hi, he'd asked someone I know to track me down.
"So what'd you say?" I asked, doubt creeping into my voice, because it was very, very important that Ethan not reveal my identity.
"I told him I'd look into it."
"You did?" His admission felt like a betrayal.
"Hear me out. If I hadn't agreed, he would have gone elsewhere. The man sounded determined. At least this way, we have some control over the situation."
Just as quickly as I'd felt that flare of betrayal, it cooled. Ethan wasn't wrong.
Something I'd been stewing about for days popped into my head. "You don't think... you don't think Tristan knows who I am, do you? Like this whole thing was just his evil way of bullying me again? And he's playing us all?"
"No," Ethan responded unequivocally. "Absolutely not."
"How can you be so sure? I really wouldn't put it past him."
"Nope. That man was desperate to find you. And I'd already done some digging before he even called me. There's no way this was a setup."
"No way," Aria echoed.
That was a relief. Ethan was excellent at what he did, so I believed him. He'd helped our family countless times now, and he'd always been one-hundred percent correct.
Breathing a bit easier, I readjusted my legs, crossing them the other way while my brain latched on to the next thing.
"So what now? What do I do?" I asked.
"You can fuck with him," Aria said immediately, her voice pure glee.
That explained the glow. She'd been waiting to say that all along, dying for the right moment to get those words out.
"Fuck with him..." I repeated slowly, examining the taste of it on my tongue.
"Yes, totally. Make his life hell for what he did to you in high school."
All my life, I'd been known as the nice one, a sweet girl who never had a cross word for anyone. So vengeance wasn't exactly my thing. "I... I wouldn't even know where to begin," I admitted.
Aria grinned at me, and honestly, it was kind of scary. "Well, you happen to have two evil older sisters who can be quite creative."
Laughing, I thought about the bouillon cube she'd planted in her cheating ex's shower, and how he'd smelled like chicken soup when she'd run into him soon after.
"This is true," I agreed. "So what's the plan?"
My sister clapped her hands together. "So you want to get revenge? You'll actually do something?"
"I—I guess? I need to think about it, I suppose. Maybe we could talk to Annalise too."
"That's it. We'll have a girls' night, drink some wine, have dinner, and..." She rubbed her hands together, channeling her inner villain. "...plan our revenge."
Miraculously, my big sister was turning what had been the most painful part of my life into something bordering on fun and entertaining. Not quite there. But it certainly had the potential to be.
"Okay. We can do that." A thrill shot through me at the prospect, even though I couldn't even begin to imagine what might happen. "As long as he doesn't know it's us. That's important."
Aria scoffed. "Of course he won't know it's us. I'm not exactly an amateur at this revenge shit."
Ethan laughed. "No, she's not. My girl can be diabolical."
My girl. They were so cute together. Annoyingly so sometimes.
"So what will you tell him?" I asked Ethan. "When you get back to him about tracking me down? It'll make you look incompetent if you can't find me, you know?"
Aria's smile turned into a frown. "That's a valid point. I don't want him to think you failed and can't do your job."
Ethan gave her a look of love and caring that honestly made my soul cry a little bit because, damn it, I wanted that too.
"Babe, that's sweet of you to worry about my reputation, but I'm just going to tell him the truth. I did find her, but she wishes to remain anonymous." He paused. "If that's okay with you two."
The man had learned so much, making sure it was okay with us before proceeding.
But I had to think about that plan. If it were me, knowing that person was out there but didn't want to talk to me would drive me batty. It would probably propel me to search even harder, just so I could know why.
However, Tristan couldn't be that attached to me at this point to even pursue it that much. It was one night together, one night that had been incredible, amazing, the best night of my life. Until... the big finale when I'd found out his name.
If it had been some other man, though, I would be obsessed. I mean, that had been my plan in the first place when I'd searched for his wallet... to stalk him.
But surely he wouldn't feel the same about me. It was me we were talking about. I wasn't exactly Helen of Troy with a face that could launch a thousand ships.
"I have an idea," Aria chimed in, breaking me out of my reverie.
"What?" Ethan and I asked at the same time, his voice full of caution.
She turned to him. "Can't you give her a burner phone or something like that, some number that would be untraceable? And then they can talk, and that would be stage one of our fuckery."
My first reaction was a big huge hell no. Because the last thing I wanted to do was talk to an old bully of mine. Fuck him. The sooner I forgot he existed, the better.
But then, something my therapist had said a few times popped into my head. Darn it. She'd mentioned how avoidance keeps the past alive and the only way to get your power back was to face what you'd been running from head-on.
I hadn't exactly been running though. I'd dealt with it. Pretty much. Mostly.
"Maybe string him along a little," Aria continued. "At least see what he has to say and find out what he wants."
Even just the idea of hearing his voice made my stomach clench. But my sister did have a good point, and I had to admit, I was a tiny bit curious to know what he was after.
"Okay," I finally agreed. "It can't hurt to have the phone at least and give him my fake number. And then I can figure it out from there. Maybe I'll toss the phone into the Hudson, or maybe I'll actually talk to him. But at least I'll have the option."
And I certainly wouldn't be discussing this with my therapist because I already knew fucking with Tristan wasn't exactly what she'd intended when she'd talked about me confronting my past.
"That's very sensible," Ethan said.
Sensible. Yes. Sensible and kind and sweet and nice. Always. But perhaps it was time for a change. And perhaps I'd take my sister's advice and get a little revenge on this asshole.
Revenge. I really, really liked the way that sounded.