Chapter 15 #2
He puts on the wolf hat before draping one arm over my shoulders and holding the other one out. I try not to be distracted by this simple touch.
He takes two pictures, then hands my phone back.
“You’re not smiling in them,” I complain.
“I look worse when I smile in photos.”
“How is that possible?”
“I can’t smile on command without it looking forced,” he says. “I also have a tendency to blink when I try to smile.”
God, this man is impossible. “Let’s do one more.”
He holds up my phone.
“Now,” I say, “think of how pale Clifton looked in his cheese costume when he saw you.”
That does the trick…sort of. There’s a ghost of a smile on Bennett’s face in the photo, and that’ll do for now. I set my phone down.
But even though we’re done with the pictures, he doesn’t step back. No, he lifts his hands to the bow at my throat, and my cheeks warm. He’s not touching my skin, but he’s so close that I can feel his breath on my forehead.
“I like your costume,” he says. “It’s very…”
My heart speeds up as I wait for his next words.
He doesn’t finish the sentence, and his hands remain on the bow. The moment stretches on, and I can barely stand it.
“Red?” I supply.
“Yes. It’s very…red.”
I swear he dips his head the tiniest bit, as though he’s thinking of kissing me. My lips part. I want him to close the distance between us. I want to feel his skin against mine.
I want so much.
He pulls one end of the ribbon and drops his hands. The cape falls to the floor.
I squeeze my thighs together and hope he doesn’t stop here. If he wishes to remove every scrap of clothing on my body, I’d welcome it.
I meet his gaze. His dark eyes are blazing, and it feels like there’s an electric charge in the air around us.
Do it.
“Goodnight, Zoe,” he whispers instead, the softness at odds with the heat in his expression. He heads up the stairs.
I stand there, feet rooted in place, until I hear his bedroom door close. Then I sigh.
I’m acutely aware that I’m alone, the discarded cape like a broken promise. Although I should be thrilled by today’s events, I can’t help feeling disappointed that I’m not in his bed right now.
That disappointment overwhelms everything else.
The day after Halloween is movie night, which is taking place at Fiona’s apartment. I ultimately convinced my friends to do my theme—aliens in the eighties—and suggested everyone come dressed for it.
I put on my bright pink leggings with legwarmers, a skirt, a jean jacket, and a side ponytail. I also wear a green headband with three eyeballs and two long antennae.
Once everyone has arrived and I’m demolishing my third fun-sized box of Smarties, I say, “I have some news. I ran into Clifton yesterday.”
Everyone is appalled that I had to see my cheating ex, until I cheerfully explain the details of the encounter.
Fiona hoots with laughter. “Serves him right.” But then she eyes me suspiciously. “What exactly is happening between you and Bennett?”
I sit down on the couch and pop the final red Smartie in my mouth.
“Nothing,” I say. “I mean, we’re friends, I guess?”
“Hm.” Karina taps her chin. “He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d participate in a costume competition.” Says the woman not dressed up for today’s theme.
“But we shocked the shit out of Clifton, so it was totally worth it.”
“He didn’t know his brother would be there,” she points out. “That’s the other thing. Why does he dislike his brother?”
I shrug. “Clifton’s a piece of shit, so I don’t blame him.”
“You want Bennett,” Fiona says. “You really do.”
“What? No. Why do you say that?”
But my quick denial doesn’t help my cause. Fiona looks particularly doubtful.
“Okay, fine.” I pull my legs up onto the couch. “I think he’s kind of hot. Very hot.”
“I knew it,” Fiona says. “Like I told you, you should sleep with him.”
That’s something I’ve thought about quite a bit. More than I intend to let on.
“I found some pictures, and I understand the appeal. He looks a bit like Sessue Hayakawa.”
I’m not sure who that is. An old movie star, presumably; she knows a lot more about such things that I do.
“Just a few times,” she says. “Get it out of your system.”
I shake my head. “He’s not interested. Well, he seems to be attracted to me, but he hasn’t allowed anything to happen.”
“Maybe he’s holding back because he doesn’t know exactly what you want. Tell him you’d just like a hot fling while you’re living together for the next month. Besides, multiple people are already assuming you two are doing it, since you claim you’re in a relationship.”
“Unless you want a real relationship,” Claire says.
“No, I’m not ready for that.”
Based on Bennett’s reason for wanting a fake relationship—so his parents wouldn’t bug him about dating—I don’t think he’d be interested anyway.
But maybe, if I made it clear that I only want sex, he’d go for it.
It’s worth a try, right? What if, instead of untying my red cape and stalking upstairs alone, he’d thrown me over his shoulder?
The thought torments me. I desperately want to know what it would be like with him.
I still have to live with him for another month, though, so if he says no, it could be a little awkward.
“I’ll think about it,” I say.
“Just be careful,” Claire says. “Sometimes sex complicates everything.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Fiona counters.
I know that’s true for Fiona, but could it work for me and Bennett?
I’m not sure, though I hope it’s possible.
It’s just after midnight when I walk up the flagstone path to Bennett’s house. The light is on in the front room, as I suspected it would be. Although I told him not to wait up for me, I didn’t think he’d actually listen.
Honestly? It’s rather sweet.
I remove my jacket and shoes in the entryway. Then I slide on my slippers and pad into the front room. Bennett sets down his book when I enter, and to my shock…
“You wear glasses?” I say.
To my dismay, he takes them off, but from what I saw, he looked good in them, as he does in everything. Even wolf paws.
“I occasionally use them for reading,” he says. “This book has small print.” He tilts his head. “What are you wearing?”
I twirl around. “I’m an alien in the eighties, of course. I thought you’d recognize that, since unlike me, you were actually alive in that decade.”
His soft chuckle reverberates through me. “I see.”
He doesn’t say anything more, and I’m very conscious of how quiet the rest of the house is. I can’t help thinking of the night we both couldn’t sleep and sat at the kitchen table together. It melds with the memory of last night, when he undid the ribbon of my red cape.
It’s the first of November. I was supposed to move out today, but instead, I’m making more memories with Bennett Chung.
For a long moment, he simply looks at me.
Normally, I’d fill the silence, but I can’t think of any words.
My skin prickles. I feel like he’s studying me, but what he’s looking for and what he finds…
I’m not sure. Does he know that I ache for his touch?
That he could push me to my knees and I’d welcome it?
When he returns to reading, I plod up the stairs. I’m not going to say anything tonight; I’m too scared of his rejection. The thought of him turning me down is more than I can bear, and I want to hold on to the hope that he’ll say yes.
Instead, once I’ve put on my pajamas, I take out my dildo. I rarely use it for masturbation, but for some reason, this is what I’m in the mood for tonight.
I imagine Bennett following me upstairs and undressing me with the utmost care. I stick the toy in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the tip. I wonder what kind of sounds he makes when he gets a blowjob. I wonder what he looks like when he’s naked and slicked in sweat.
Then I shove the dildo in my pussy and cover my mouth to muffle my cry. I roll onto my stomach and adjust my position so that when I push my hips against the bed, I get pressure in just the right place. I lick my finger and touch my clit.
But it’s the fantasy, more than anything, that’s getting me there.
Bennett inside me and all around me, his weight pressing me into the mattress.
Bennett kissing my mouth as I come apart in ecstasy.
I wonder if it’ll ever become reality.