Chapter 38 The Darkness You Call Home
THE DARKNESS YOU CALL HOME
PATIENCE
Maddox’s evil grin grows when he swings open the door to Sigma House. With how I’m standing one step down, he’s even taller than usual.
“Tell your brother I don’t care what he’s doing. I need to talk to him. Now. And I know he’s here.”
Alex confirmed it, but since he’s currently across town, he can’t help me get into the house.
“Someone’s an extra-pissy ice princess today.” Maddox grins.
“Let me in.”
He opens his mouth, and I can tell he has some smartass comment on the tip of his tongue, but his phone ringing cuts him off.
“Yeah?” he answers.
A muffled voice on the other end of the line has my stomach twisting. I know it’s Jacob because, like he said, he’s always watching. Someone probably notified him the moment I headed toward Sigma House.
“You sure? She’s in rare form this afternoon.” Maddox winks at me, and I roll my eyes.
The voice on the other end of the line gets louder.
“Fine.” Maddox hangs up, tucking his phone away. “Looks like my brother’s schedule opened up just for you.”
But instead of letting me in, Maddox steps outside, closing the door behind him.
“Where are we going?”
“Back entrance.” He waves a hand for me to follow. “Scared?”
“No.” I roll my shoulders back.
Maddox chuckles, guiding me along a path that winds around Sigma House until we stop at a door at the east end. It clicks open a moment later, and Declan holds it open for us, blood staining his clothes.
Wonderful.
Just when I think I have the upper hand, Jacob summons me to the Sigma House torture dungeon.
My throat tightens as I descend the staircase, and I try not to let Maddox or Declan see how it’s affecting me. How the stone walls close in with every step, reminding me too much of the basement at my parents’ house.
When we finally reach the bottom, Declan opens a second door and guides me inside. There are five men standing around, with Jacob leaning against a table in the center. He is casually talking to them with his arms crossed over his chest, like there isn’t a stack of bloody instruments beside him.
Unlike Declan, there are only a few flecks of blood on his clothes. I suppose at a certain point, he has people to do his dirty work.
It’s one thing to hear the legends of this place, but to see the stone I know bones have been broken against and to taste the metallic tinge of blood in the air is something entirely different.
Jacob’s green eyes land on mine, and my heart hammers. “Everyone, leave us.”
The room falls silent, and everyone drops their chin, not daring to look at me as they walk past. They obey him like he’s their king.
Worse, their god.
Doing as they’re told until it’s just me and Jacob in a damp, bloody dungeon.
“I’m surprised you didn’t meet me upstairs.” I glare. “Isn’t this place some kind of sacred ground for you?”
“There is nothing holy here.” He lifts off the table, taking a step toward me. “But like I told you, no more secrets. You want to know where I am or what I’m doing”—he waves his arms out—“here we are. So are you ready to talk to me now, Patience?”
“I don’t know.” I huff out my annoyance, crossing my arms over my chest. “Are you finally going to be honest with me, Ezra?”
His stare ices over at his real name. One my mother let conveniently slip because she’s so good at playing games.
Driving over here, I picked apart the other half of the lie he’s been telling me.
His real name. His complicated family history.
There’s a reason he easily gained this position in the House even though he’s been in LA for the last couple of years.
It’s like Maddox said to me at the party.
There is only one thing all Sigma Sin members follow: the House. Brick by brick. Stone by stone.
That last part wasn’t referring to a structure. It was a last name. While the Lancasters, Pierces, Donovans, and Christiansens have held control of the Sigma House fraternity in Bristal, the Stone family made a name for itself nationally, always holding a seat on the Council, usually as president.
Jacob isn’t just a legacy of the fraternity. He’s a legacy to the family that controls it all. The source of everything evil in Sigma House.
“I haven’t gone by that name in a long time.” Jacob tips his head to the side, watching me as I start to circle the room.
“But you did go by that name once,” I say, skimming a finger over the handle of a blade sitting on the long table against one wall. “Ezra Stone. The same Ezra Stone from the police report you had us studying during the summer program. You were Molly’s boyfriend.”
My stomach turns as he nods.
“How much of the report is true?” I pause, facing him. “You. Molly. The affair. Why would you have us studying that? It’s your history.”
“It’s a story.”
“Then what’s the truth, Jacob? Or Ezra. Whatever your name is. You said you wanted to talk. Well, here I am. Talk to me.”
Jacob tips his head back, rubbing his palms over his face. “Molly was my college girlfriend.”
His gaze meets mine, and through all my anger, I don’t miss that his defenses are finally down in this moment.
“You loved her?” I don’t know why that’s the question I ask when there are far more important things.
“I thought I did at the time. I was young—”
“You were my age.”
He smirks, moving like he might make a step toward me and then deciding otherwise. “Your age doesn’t come close to counting the rings on your soul. We both know that. You’re smarter than I ever was. And nowhere near as naive.”
It’s hard to picture Jacob as naive. I’ve only known him as this. And even before I saw the Sigma Sin power flowing out of him, I felt it. A presence that can’t be ignored.
“I was a different person back then. One who wanted to believe things could be different if I resisted what the House’s plans were for me. I wanted to believe I had control over my life. You and I are similar in that, I suppose.”
“You didn’t want to pledge?” My eyebrows pinch.
“I wanted to make my family proud, and that won out. But I never liked the political games. And when you’re raised with my last name, that’s all there was. You aren’t a person. You’re the role that you’ll eventually fill. I was raised to take my father’s place in the House, but then I met Molly.”
My stomach tightens at the grief in his tone.
“She was a transfer student who got into Briar on a scholarship, so she didn’t understand this world.
” He glances around at the bloody dungeon around us, a room that probably should terrify me more than it does.
“She didn’t trust Sigma House, and she didn’t like that they called all the shots, so she refused to come here.
It didn’t help that they looked down on our relationship since she didn’t come from a legacy family.
Molly warned me Sigma House was after her, and the longer we were together, the more paranoid she became until she refused to go anywhere near the House or campus.
That’s when we got an apartment in town. ”
“You lived with her.” It’s not a question because I knew that from the police report.
But now that I know Ezra is Jacob, I’m seeing the full picture and hating the flare of jealousy that rises over his dead girlfriend. It’s ridiculous. But also, she’s gone. What if he can never care about anyone as much as he cared about her because of what happened?
He must hear the doubt in my tone because he steps forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. “Yes, we lived together. And that’s also when she started cheating on me.”
“So that part was true then?” My eyebrows scrunch. “I don’t get that.”
His eyebrows pinch. “Why?”
“Because why would anyone cheat on you?” I gesture up and down at him. “On this.”
“Is that a compliment?” He smirks.
“Don’t let it go to your head. I’m still mad at you. Even if I don’t understand it.”
“I appreciate that.” He smiles, and it’s a little sad. “But people have affairs for lots of reasons. Molly resented me for not leaving the fraternity, so that’s how she chose to rebel against it. Looking back, I don’t blame her.”
“It’s not a choice to leave Sigma House.” I huff.
“She didn’t understand that. Not like you do.”
It almost sounds like a compliment.
Jacob steps back, dipping his hands into his pockets. “Molly was distant at the end, even from me. When I first got the call that she’d killed herself, I wasn’t even surprised. That’s how miserable my life made her.”
I frown, understanding that too well. Sigma Sin ruins everything good.
“It wasn’t until I walked into the apartment that I knew I’d missed something because she hadn’t killed herself.”
“How did you know that quickly?”
“She was left-handed. She wouldn’t have put the needle in her left arm.”
“That’s not in the police report.”
He shakes his head. “They were selective for my sake. For my family’s sake. And after Haven admitted to killing her, the police tied a bow on it and put it away. The cops were satisfied, and Sigma House weeded out the problem. Everything was fine.”
His eyes drift off.
“But it wasn’t, was it?” I’m the one who steps forward now. “You weren’t fine.”
“I didn’t know she was pregnant until after I found out about the abortion.
I still don’t even know if the baby was mine.
” Jacob clears his throat like he’s trying to collect himself.
“I moved to LA and changed my name after that. I was already a legacy, so I couldn’t leave the House, but I put as much distance as I could between myself and what happened.
Even if she didn’t kill herself, my world drove her to Haven.
It drove her away. And I was left with this hole I didn’t know how to fill.
But you never can really leave Sigma Sin, so when they needed me, I did what I do best, channeled my rage. ”
“You became the Interrogator.”
“I thought I was helping. And it didn’t hurt that it gave me an excuse to draw blood. So I did what I could. I came back when new initiates were being tested, and I made sure the next generation was stronger than I was. That is, until your brother’s trial.”
My heart starts racing, and I swallow hard at the emotion swelling in my throat.
“He was legally dead when I walked back into the room. I don’t know how the fuck he survived it. And it was my fault.”
“You weren’t the one who hurt him.” I don’t know if I’m saying it for him or myself.
“Don’t excuse it, Patience. Trust me, I hurt him. It’s my job. It’s what I’m good at. I inflict pain. You should know that better than anyone.” He lifts my chin and brushes his thumb over my lower lip.
I do know that better than anyone. Jacob is the master at hurting people. My heart is still in pieces from what he did to me.
Yet here I am.
“After what happened to your brother, I stayed in LA. I was done with the trials. The fraternity. The only reason the House didn’t hunt me down and strip me of my marks and kill me is because I was a Stone by birth. My family’s name protected me and allowed me to stay mostly out of House business.”
“But now you’re back.”
“Now I’m back,” he agrees. “Declan approached me a little over a year ago. Apparently, your brother recovered a lot quicker at Montgomery than people realized, and he started digging into the House. The members. He and Declan were looking for dirt on the Council, and Declan found enough to dismantle them. But he needed help from the outside.”
“Declan came to you for help?”
“He came to me with information.” Jacob’s jaw tightens. “When he was digging, he found proof that the story I’d been told about Molly was redacted. Haven wasn’t the one who wanted her dead. He was a pawn just like we all are, acting on orders.”
“From who?” It’s nearly a whisper, and I know the answer before he says it, but I need to hear it anyway.
“Gideon Lancaster. Your father.”
“Why would he do that?” I shake my head. “My mom said you were his protégé. I thought you were close.”
“We were to a point. Until he realized my name would always make me more powerful than him. That, and I’d started asking questions. Challenging him on things. He must have thought Molly was the one getting in my head, so he did what he does best.”
“He dealt with the problem.” Like he did with my brother.
Jacob nods. “Declan knew I’d care that Gideon was involved, and he made me a deal. I help him get what he wanted, and he would help me get to Gideon by delivering you to LA.”
“You’d have been better off bargaining with my brother. At least they care about him.”
“You underestimate your worth, Patience. What your parents would do for you. What anyone who gets to know you would do for you.”
“I’m glad I was such a useful pawn in your game.” I spin to leave, but Jacob snags my hand, spinning me against him.
“That’s not what you are to me.” He angles my chin up.
“Yes, I was just going to hang you over your father’s head.
Prove I could get close and ruin all his plans if he didn’t do as he was told.
But then you fell into my lap on the plane, and I just”—he brushes his hair back, shaking his head—“I lost track of the mission.”
“Sorry for ruining your diabolical plan.” I glare at him.
“I’m not.” He grazes his fingers down the front of my throat. “You’re everything I didn’t know I needed.”
“I don’t even know who you are.”
“Yes, you do.” He grabs my hand, placing it over his heart.
“You know every side of me, whether you realized it immediately or not. You’ve always known exactly who I am.
The good and the bad. You aren’t angry because of what I am or what I’ve done.
You don’t hate me for the blood I’ve spilled.
You hate yourself for still wanting me. For knowing that no matter who I am to Sigma House, you can’t deny what I am to you. ”
“What do you think you are to me?”
“Your fate. Your future.” He drags his hand into my hair, and I shiver. “You are the heart of a star, and I’m the darkness you call home. There is no denying this, Patience. You can resist it, and you can fight me, but you know I’m where you belong.”
“What about your mission? What about your revenge on my father? You were really willing to just give all that up because of me?”
He cups my jaw. “I’d give up my soul if you asked me to.”