12. Chapter 11
~ Mason ~
We sat on my front porch, staring up at the starry sky while I tried to find the words to make this make sense. I doubt I would, but I was going to have to try.
“Patty,” I said, finally turning to face her on the steps. She turned as well, a soft smile on her lips.
“Yeah?”
“I ran.”
“I know,” she told me, touching my leg. “I just don’t know why.”
“Dixon scared me.”
“My son? Because he threatened you?”
The look of surprise on her face was priceless, and I chuckled but shook my head.
“Man is smart, and he’d probably knock me down a good few times, but I could take him. He scared me because he really thought there should be more to us. And that had me worried that you might want more when I wasn’t ready to give more.”
Her mouth opened, creating an ‘o’ shape and I saw the realization in her eyes.
“Mason, I never asked for more.”
“You’re right, you didn’t. But you could have, and you should. You deserve to have a man to want to be with you, to want to give you his all.”
“Tell me something, do you want me to date someone else? Or even sleep with someone else?” she questioned and I glared at her.
“Hell no, you’re mine.”
Her brow lifted and I knew exactly what this sounded like.
“Okay, fine, yes, I don’t want to share, but I don’t know if I’m ready to date you.”
“Let’s get something straight here,” she said, taking my hand. “I don’t want to date. I don’t have time to date, Mason. My life is full with the running of a business. And I’m beyond fine with what we are, regardless of what my son says. He doesn’t control my life, no matter what he thinks.
“Now, I know you have a love for your late wife that will never go away, and I can respect that. I also don’t ever want you to be in a place where you have to think it’s one or the other.
And I certainly don’t want you in a place where you could resent me because I made you think or feel like you needed to be in a relationship with me. ”
“That is all the thing. I pulled away because I thought you deserved someone else. Someone, who even down the road when you were ready, would be a good fit for you. But then the more I thought about it, the more I knew no one could handle you the way I could.”
I watched as her head tilted as she looked at me, and I knew the questions she had. Because none of what I just said was making sense, given my actions.
“I came to terms with losing my wife. And while I loved her, and while I thought for the longest time, I couldn’t do another relationship, that I couldn’t find another woman to love as much as I loved her, I was wrong.
“You see, the more I thought about giving you up, the more I thought about what your son said about treating you right, about being real and honest, the more I realized I could love two women. That my wife wouldn’t have wanted me to be alone.
That I could find someone as wonderful as she was but in a different way.
“I realized that woman was you, Patty. That all that you were was everything I wanted for my future.”
I watched with a grin as her mouth opened and closed, the words unable to come. After several moments, she finally shook her head, her hand cupping my cheek.
“Mason, that’s all really sweet, but I don’t want to compete with a ghost either.”
I chuckled. I could see why she thought. I think there were plenty of times I did compare, and probably even stated it too. But the crux of the matter was Patty was better than my first wife in many ways.
“You won’t be.”
“I can’t just take your word for it when you still have all your pictures up of her, Mason. I know that was holding you back from a relationship.”
“I put them away. My life with her is gone, and when you’re ready for that relationship that I know you want, I want to be the man you have it with. In fact, I demand to be the man you have that with.”
“Oh, demanding now,” she sassed.
She was swaying, I could see it on her face, but there was still something holding her back from saying yes. I wasn’t asking for a relationship, she wasn’t there, it was evident, but there was something creeping in the back of her eyes that she hadn’t told me about.
And while I wanted to push, there was something holding me back. Maybe that’s what she needed because she took a deep breath and then took my hands.
“Thank you for telling me this. It means so much and I can’t even explain. But let me share why I’m a little more hesitant to jump into a relationship and why Dixon is so protective of me.”
~ Patty ~
“I used to live in Cherryville, a small town very similar to this one. And I was a diner owner there. I loved the place. Loved the people. And it was off the highway, so we always had a lot of tourists, which was great.
“But I was also divorced with a son who was in college. So, certain men thought I was easy, thought I would need a date or was in dire need of a relationship. Many didn’t understand that wasn’t my case. I was also very vocal about that.”
I watched his face, reading all the emotions that passed over it. I still had his hand within mine, but I could feel it flex.
He didn’t like this, and I knew he wouldn’t like the next part either, but he also had to see why a relationship scared me. And maybe had we spoken about this sooner, we wouldn’t have lost each other for those days.
“The mayor was one of those guys,” I told him.
“He tried to ask me out, but I kept saying no. Well, he didn’t like that very much.
And he said I was stealing money and that I hadn’t paid taxes.
He had everyone believe him and no one had my back.
The only saving grace was an older sheriff who told me it was better to leave than deal with all of that.
“He was right. So, I sold my diner and found something else. But you can see why it would be so hard for me to get into something where I could risk it all again, right?
“Not that I would think you were that type of man, Mason. But you undo me in ways I didn’t know I could be undone. And I want to take the biggest risks with you. But after I’ve been burned, all of that scares the living crap out of me.”
He was silent for a moment as he processed all of that, his eyes telling me how pissed off he was, but not at me. At the man who hurt me in ways that weren’t physical. He wanted to hurt him for me and I loved that.
“I can understand that, Patty.”
“But?” I could hear it in his voice.
“I’m not him. I would never do that to you. However, I can see how that means jackshit given your past. You had a husband who left you and a mayor that treated you badly. I didn’t mean to make you just my fuck buddy, you know. I didn’t want to demean you.”
“You didn’t, Mason. Haven’t you figured out by now that I’m vocal? If I didn’t like the path we were on, I would have said something. I tried to fight my way through everything in Cherryville, but the idiot had too many ears listening to him and I wouldn’t win.
“But I don’t know how to back down, how to be something less. I’m not a meek woman and I like what I like. And I like you,” I said, scooting over to him. “In fact, if you can work with me on it, give me some time, I think I could do a relationship, because I love you too.”
“You mean that?”
“I do, Mason. I’m not saying I’m perfect, or that this will be perfect. I’m still a woman who likes her space, but I also like to think I can trust you. That you won’t hurt me like others have, even with the past you have.”
“That’s not my goal, nor was it. I didn’t mean to ever make you think you were fighting a ghost. She’s gone, but I also think she’d really like you,” he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. “She’d like your fire.”
He turned and looked at the cabin, a smile on his face. “We can also sell this, move into yours.”
“About that, mine is really small and yours has our memories. I know it was for her, but I’d really like to stay here. Mine just won’t do. But I wouldn’t mind keeping it to be my escape room if need be.”
He looked down at me, a mock glare on his face.
“You think I’m going to let you go anywhere alone after what you did to me, woman?”
I kissed his cheek, a smile on my face. “Yeah, what did I do?”
“You did the best thing you could have done, and you didn’t even know it. You, Patty Kingston, you Revived My Heart.”