Chapter 4
ANNA
Anna dropped back down into her chair as Victoria fled, a gust of surprised air puffing out of her mouth as her butt hit the cushion. “Well,” she said to nobody, “that worked out far better than I expected it to.”
Bending down, she reached under the dust flap of the chair to pull out a compact little vacuum cleaner that she used to suck up all the flakes and crumbs she’d gotten all over herself, her chair, and the floor.
Normally she was quite a tidy croissant eater, but she’d suspected that affecting the table manners of a toddler might set Dr. Victoria Ellis off-balance enough to have a reaction, any reaction, to everything Anna said. And boy, had she ever had a reaction.
She stood up and finished vacuuming her chair cushion before putting the little vacuum away and sitting back down with her pen and Victoria’s file, narrating in a mumble as she wrote.
“Patient continues to exhibit strong denial signs of her breakdown. Did not acknowledge my theory of a past inciting event. Departed session in haste after…” Anna checked her phone. “Thirty minutes.”
Well, thirty minutes and a clear reaction was better than fifteen minutes and a lot of insults. Anna would take it.
She finished writing down her impressions of the session and then got up to lock Victoria’s folder away in her mahogany filing cabinet.
Victoria would be back, she knew. She would not have a choice.
But Anna thought she would give her a couple days before sending a reminder to book an appointment.
It had been a rough two sessions already, even if they hadn’t managed yet to get through a full hour.
Time and space to breathe wouldn’t hurt Victoria one bit at this point.
They had a long journey ahead; rest breaks would be important.
With Victoria’s hasty departure, there was now another fifty minutes before her next appointment arrived. Anna decided to wander down to the cafeteria to get herself something a little more substantial than an admittedly delicious croissant.
“Just the person I wanted to see,” came the voice of Elaine Martin from behind just as Anna had her hand on the cafeteria door. “Can I join you for breakfast?”
“I was just getting something to take back to my office.” Anna replied slowly, biting her lip. HIPAA prevented her from continuing to inform Elaine too explicitly about her sessions with Victoria, but she needed more guidance for getting in under that prickly porcelain shell.
“We can eat there together.” It was clear that Elaine would not be taking no for an answer.
Anna could only nod and smile as they gathered a small breakfast, talking about nothing consequential—the LA weather, Elaine’s vacation plan to visit Dublin next spring, the next Donna Tartt novel and when it might come out.
It was mindless chatter all the way back to her office.
Once the door was shut behind them and they were seated with their egg and potato bowls, Elaine leaped right to the point. “I know you can’t tell me any specifics about Victoria’s appointments. I respect that.”
“Okay,” Anna replied, keeping her guard up.
“I also know that Victoria just came roaring up to the Cardio wing twenty minutes ago and locked herself in her office. I think she might have thrown something breakable at her door, as well; I certainly heard something shatter. I hope it wasn’t the beautiful French porcelain vase on her bookshelf, I rather liked that one.
” Elaine took a sip of her cafeteria coffee and frowned at the cardboard cup.
“I think you forgot to put sugar in that,” Anna said.
“So I did.” Elaine got up and walked over to the tea table in the corner and remedied the situation. “I don’t need to know what happened in here, Dr. Monroe. But I do need you to continue it.”
Anna hesitated before replying. Would continued needling really be the right path? “I don’t want to distress her too much. I have to walk a fine line.”
“You’ve lit the fuse. Oh, not that I want to tell you how to do your job. I’m not qualified.” Elaine sat back down and tasted her coffee, this time smiling. “Better. Where was I?”
“Not qualified,” Anna reminded her gently.
“No. I am not qualified to tell you how to counsel my surgeon. But I will tell you, Victoria does not react. She does not get rattled. You rattled her.”
“She was already rattled. That’s why you sent her to me.”
Elaine nodded. “Rattled, but not reactive. You’re getting to her.
Whatever she’s holding in is eating Victoria alive, Dr. Monroe.
Anyone can see that except for her. I need that boil lanced, that grenade thrown, that dynamite to explode.
” She poked at her breakfast bowl. “More importantly, I think she needs that to happen. I did have a psychology minor in undergrad. I know that one cannot repress trauma forever without repercussions.”
Anna thought about her next words very carefully.
“And if that dynamite explodes and the damage is irreparable?” She didn’t think that would be the case, but she wanted Elaine to be prepared for any and all contingencies.
“You said you wanted me to head off disaster, to prevent a breakdown. What if this isn’t fixable?
If you lose a surgeon who cannot be cleared to work? ”
Elaine took a deep breath. “Oakridge would be poorer to lose her skills. But above all else, Victoria needs help. I would rather she get it and return to the world of the living, whole and happy, than stuck in whatever hell she’s in now.”
“That’s admirable,” Anna remarked, her voice low.
“That’s human, I hope.” Elaine’s eyes were gentle with compassion in her soft, lightly lined face.
They ate in companionable silence for a moment or two longer before Anna spoke up again. “I want to give her some breathing room before her next appointment. Two, maybe three days.”
“That sounds fine. I am sure she won’t want to come back…”
“She said as much before she left,” Anna confirmed.
“I’ll give her space as well, but I’ll remind her tomorrow that she does need to continue with these appointments.” Elaine sighed as she got to her feet. “I’d do it today, but I’d rather not have a glass paperweight or porcelain vase thrown at my head.”
Anna chuckled. “That’s fair. Yes. Please, let’s let her breathe. Think. Relax.”
“Well, that’s one thing I don’t know if she knows how to do. Maybe one day you can convince her to meditate or something.” Elaine laughed, seeming amused at the very thought. “I’ve got rounds to make, Dr. Monroe. But you’ll see me again.”
“I’ll look forward to it.”
Two days later, Anna set up another appointment in the staff healthcare app for the next day, after consulting with Elaine on Victoria’s schedule. Three days later, she stood in front of her mirror, examining her outfit.
Victoria Monroe seemed to absolutely hate Anna’s comfortable, schoolteacherish way of dressing. So Anna would lean into that.
She also seemed to very much like the baked goods from Patisserie Rêverie, so Anna would also lean into that.
Today, what passed for an autumn chill in Los Angeles was in the air, so Anna pulled a deep green cashmere turtleneck out of her closet and paired it with a long, thin black wool skirt that she liked for the way it swished around her calves.
Nude tights and the black ballet flats Victoria kept sneering at completed the look, even though Anna really would have preferred black tights and her favorite calf-high black boots.
For good measure, she pulled her untameable red waves back into a ponytail and capped it off with a big green silk bow. “Very 90’s, very schoolteacher,” she remarked, grinning into the mirror. The extremely chic, designer-clad heart surgeon would undeniably detest it.
Anna hopped into her little silver Camry and set a course for Patisserie Rêverie.
Nothing so simple as a butter croissant today, oh no.
Today, she would pull out the big guns. Not stopping to relish the delicious aromas in the air of the bakery as she normally did, Anna made quick, careful choices and scurried back out the door almost as soon as she’d gone in, arms laden with goodies.
Arriving five minutes before Victoria was due, Anna dropped a box of assorted miniature tarts in with Kathleen, to be shared with the other therapists. In the wellness lounge refrigerator, she left a box with a Waldorf chicken salad croissant and a bottle of Orangina, her intended lunch.
And on her desk in her office, Anna carefully lifted the lid on a box full of heaven. She’d gotten multiples of each of her favorite things; flaky puff-pastry four-cheese quiches, crispy palmier cookies, a pair of the butter croissants.
The pièce de resistance? A pair of gorgeous cream stuffed croissants studded with crushed bits of pretzel in salted caramel sauce.
These were Anna’s favorite seasonal fall treat next to the hot apple chai latte in her insulated travel mug, and she hoped they’d go a little way towards thawing Victoria out.
She made sure the bag of loose oolong, a clean mug, and the monkfruit sweetener she’d seen Victoria use were out in plain sight on the tea table, and then… she waited.
She waited, and she very carefully did not think about how she had never gone to this much effort to help any patient before. That way lay madness.
A knock at the office door. Short, sharp, and somehow imperious. Anna crossed the carpet to open it up.
As usual, Victoria looked straight off a runway.
Today she wore loose black wool trousers, a black v-neck sweater that looked as soft as Anna’s own, and what looked like the black calf-high boots that Anna would have normally worn with her outfit today…
though naturally, Victoria’s were likely to have cost a fair few more of Anna’s paychecks than hers had.