Chapter 10
ANNA
Nerves had Anna all but wearing a trench in the linoleum flooring outside of Elaine’s office in the Cardio wing.
She had set up this appointment time herself, yet still arrived a good fifteen minutes early and had too much energy to go find a place and sit down to wait, and not enough time to run down to the cafeteria for a coffee that she didn’t need anyway.
So pacing it was.
It was Thursday. Victoria had been meant to have a session with her Tuesday, but Anna had canceled it.
She had sent an apology and a promise that she would explain later, which Victoria had leveraged into a dinner meeting.
“Not a date,” she’d said. “Just talking. And eating. You do seem to think it important that I eat.”
“That sounds like blackmail,” Anna had replied.
“I merely made an observation,” was the breezy response. “See you Thursday evening.”
But to get to Thursday evening, she had to get through Thursday morning. There was much to do, starting with Elaine. Who was now walking briskly towards Anna, her face a picture of surprise. “Anna. I didn’t think I was running late.”
“You’re not, I’m just very early,” Anna admitted, twisting her fingers together.
The handwringing did not escape Elaine’s notice. She kept curious eyes on Anna as she unlocked her office door. “Hm. Should I be worried?”
“I can’t say no…” Anna chewed at her bottom lip as she followed Elaine into the office and sat down in a chair.
“Oh, dear. Well.” Elaine shrugged out of her lab coat and hung it on the coat rack in the corner. Sitting down at her desk, she steepled her hands together in front of her mouth, took in a long deep breath, and let it out in a sigh, her eyes closing. “Right. Well, give it to me straight, Anna.”
“I am recusing myself from Victoria Ellis’s evaluation case and transferring her to a colleague.” She saw no point in sugarcoating the news.
Elaine’s eyes opened and she sat up very, very straight. “What the hell is going on?”
Anna had thought hard about how to put this.
She was a terrible liar, but she couldn’t come out and say she and Victoria were grappling with a mutual attraction.
That wouldn’t help anything with the threat of Marcus Kinkade looming over Victoria.
Not that she thought Elaine would cause problems if she had that information, but she did think it was better to keep it as tightly under wraps as possible.
She also wasn’t going to throw Victoria under the bus and say she just wasn’t cooperating. That would be unfair given the progress she was making. But take their attraction and blaming Victoria off of the table and what was left? It was a question that had kept Anna awake every night this week.
In the end, she had settled for a simple, not entirely untruthful answer.
“I feel like we are simply not connecting in a way that allows her to let me in,” Anna said, sitting on her hands to keep them from twitchily betraying her.
That had certainly been true at first. “There’s something about me she doesn’t like.
” That was still true. It wasn’t going to get her to burn her collection of ballet flats, but it was true.
Elaine sat still, hands flat on her desktop and her face fixed in an expression of disbelief. “And this is something you feel irretrievably unable to overcome? After a few weeks?”
“If sufficient progress is not made in the beginning, it’s likely to be a compatibility issue between patient and therapist.” Not a statement that applied here, but it was true.
“Given what’s hanging over Dr. Ellis’s head, I feel like it’s more important to get her connected with a therapist she can be more comfortable with, more quickly. ”
“I suppose that’s true.” With a sigh, Elaine slumped back into her desk chair. “Damn. I’d certainly hoped for better news at this point. She seemed to be doing really well lately.”
“I’ve seen that too. She has been willing to try out some of my suggestions, so I do feel like I’ve started her on a good path.
” Still not a lie. “We have simply agreed that our working relationship has hit a wall.” Definitely absolutely not a lie.
That the wall was sexual attraction was nobody’s business but theirs.
“I just don’t have many techniques to offer her that she won’t call ‘twaddle’ and ‘woo,’ which is unfortunately inhibiting. ”
Possibly the truest thing of all.
Elaine heaved another sigh. “All right. I am disappointed, Anna. I’d heard such good things about you and I hoped you’d be our miracle worker.”
“I like to think I’ll have still played a significant part in Victoria’s recovery journey.
” Anna managed to get the words out with a cheerily optimistic smile, but she couldn’t help but feel the sting from Elaine’s statement, from her disappointment.
She wished she dared tell Elaine that she hadn’t failed, and why.
“I’m going to introduce her to my colleague Cameron O’Shea.
I actually think they’ll get on like houses a-fire. ”
Cameron was delightfully bitchy, tough as nails, and a very good therapist. Anna really did think he and Victoria would adore each other, after they got past the hump of each trying to verbally skewer the other to death.
And she was quite sure that sexual attraction would not be a problem there; it was possible Victoria was bisexual, she didn’t know yet, but Cameron was decidedly not. That removed one hurdle from the track.
Elaine regarded her with skepticism for an uncomfortably long time.
Then at last, she threw her hands into the air.
“Well, it is what it is. If you think this is the move that is most beneficial for Dr. Ellis, then I’ll trust your word.
But…” She leaned forward, tapping one finger on her desk.
“I will expect some results fairly soon.”
“I believe Cameron will be up to the challenge,” Anna replied firmly. She got to her feet, desperate to bring this conversation to an end. She was running out of half-truths that she could convincingly deliver. “I’ll send him to meet you, too, very soon.”
“All right.” Elaine, too, got up, and the disappointment that hung about her was a knife to Anna’s heart. Things are going well! she wanted to shout. Too well, actually!
Instead, she swallowed down her hurt and guilt and pasted a bright smile on her face. “Thank you for meeting with me today. I appreciate it.”
“I wish I could return the sentiment,” Elaine replied, shaking her head. “But I hope everything goes smoothly from here on out.”
“I think this is for the best,” Anna said, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt and hoping to death that she wasn’t making an absolutely enormous mistake.
“Where would you like to eat dinner?” Anna had asked Victoria on the phone.
“Anywhere except for an Italian restaurant,” had been the prompt reply. “I am absolutely sick to the back teeth of pasta in all its forms.”
Anna felt this also probably counted out any of the delicious Chinese, Japanese, and Thai noodle houses that she so adored. This was Los Angeles, however, so while her available options had been vastly reduced, that by no means left her with none.
The Indigo Lounge was a no go, of course.
They would need to talk, and that was often impossible at night with the various parties and musical acts that often formed the evening entertainment there.
Plus Anna had no desire to give Esme any chance to linger about and listen in on their conversation.
She wouldn’t do it out of any sort of gossipy impulse, she’d just want to know more than Anna wanted her to know at this point.
Anna also didn’t want to eat anywhere near the hospital. She wanted very little chance that anyone they knew might see them. That meant driving far away from Beverly Hills. Was Catalina Island too far? Well, probably.
In the end, she thought that given how much both of them liked French pastry, they couldn’t go wrong with a whole French meal.
She found a small, intimate place in Santa Monica that served lots of French classics like bourguignon and bouillabaisse and had excellent ratings.
That its website also made it look cozily dark and romantic was helpful as well, reducing their chances of being recognized even if they were spotted.
She called the restaurant and booked a table for two, asking for something very, very private.
Very, very private was exactly what she got.
The restaurant was full of separated dark little booths with high walls, and the ma?tre d’ led her to one in a far back corner.
As they approached, she saw no one could see into the booth unless they were practically on top of it.
Once she was seated, she had to crane her neck out of the booth to see if anyone was coming.
Perfect. Anna ordered a top-shelf dirty martini that arrived fairly expeditiously, and waited nervously for Victoria to arrive.
She didn’t have to wait long. As immaculately put together as always, Victoria swept in and sat down on the opposite booth bench, sliding her big designer tote back into the far corner.
“Do you have Chateldon?” she asked the ma?tre d’, who nodded.
“A bottle of that to start, please, and the wine list.” Orders given, Victoria turned to Anna, a lovely smile on her face. “Hello, Anna.”
“Victoria.” Anna wanted to reach her hands across the table to grab Victoria’s, but didn’t know what the reaction to that would be. She kept her hands under the table, knotted firmly together in her lap, and her back was pressed against the booth wall.