Rewind

Chapter 22

Chapter

Twenty-Two

“ T hat’s it Amina. Up high! Now low.” Ethan blocked Amina’s blows with his punch mitts.

She tossed her fists repeatedly, using more force each time. Sweat dripped down her face but she kept going. Ethan was impressed by her stamina but he was starting to run out of breath.

“Amina, your form is perfect, but make sure to keep your eyes focused on my center. That way you can read the motions of my body better. Like this.” He threw out his left fist, but Amina successfully ducked and threw a right hook which he barely managed to block.

“Whoa, that nearly took my head off.” He laughed.

Amina threw another punch. This time, Ethan didn’t dodge quick enough, and the blow caught him right on the forehead.

Ethan stumbled backward with a groan, clutching his head. “Shit!”

Amina’s eyes widened and she let out a terrified gasp. “Oh my god Ethan! I’m so sorry!”

Ethan took off his punch mitts and rubbed his forehead. “It’s okay babe, but I think we should head upstairs so I can get some ice because I think I’m about to develop a hell of a knot.”

Amina waved her hands in the air and raced around the gym like a chicken with her head cut off. “I didn’t mean to hit you so hard. What if you get a concussion? Honey, shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”

Ethan chuckled with so much force he bent over with laugher.

Amina stopped in her tracks. “What’s so funny? You can’t seriously be enjoying this. When we started training, I was worried that one of us would get hurt but I didn’t think it would be you!” She cried.

“I’m sorry.” Ethan straightened his stance and wiped a tear from the corner in his eye, but he couldn’t stop laughing. “It’s just that you look so adorable right now.”

“Ethan, you’re a neurosurgeon, you more than anyone knows the seriousness of a head injury.” She walked over to him, her eyes full of fear.

Seeing how deeply concerned Amina was about his potential condition sobered him up.

He pulled her into his arms and gave her a light kiss on the lips. “Babe, I’ll be fine. I just need some ice. I know the signs of a concussion and other than a slight headache, I’m not experiencing any other symptoms.”

“But I hit you so hard. I think I’d rather work with the punching bag than doing that again.”

“Accidents happen. And I was a bit distracted by how adorable you were throwing those punches. It’s a reminder that I need to do more cardio outside of lifting weights. I haven’t boxed since my college days so this practice was good for me as well. And while using a punching bag is good practice, sparring with a partner will better help with your reflexes. A punching bag can’t swing back.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Ethan laughed again. “I think I’ll survive, slugger.”

Amina gave him a light punch in the arm. “Don’t tease me. I was so worried.”

“You put some power in that hit but I turned my head just enough so the impact wouldn’t be as great. But I’m very proud of you. Remember when you’re throwing a punch, use your entire body weight. If you’re ever in a situation where you’re forced to fight, it’ll cause more damage to your opponent.”

Amina shivered. “I hope I don’t have to fight, but I’m glad you’re teaching me.”

“It’s my pleasure. I want you to feel safe and since you don’t feel comfortable owning a gun, this is the next best thing.”

Not long after they’d had lunch with his mother, Ethan could tell something was bothering Amina. When they were together, she would smile and talk as normal but she’d often get these far away looks in her eyes. Whenever he’d ask her if she was okay, Amina would say yes.

But then Ethan would be jolted awake in the middle of the night to Amina’s screams. After insisting she tell him what the matter was, she confided in him that she’d been having nightmares about the night she died.

Since she cut Mark out of her life, Ethan thought that would resolve her issues but apparently, she still had concerns.

It was then Ethan suggested that he teach her some boxing moves so that she could protect herself. He purchased Amina her own set of gloves and each night for the past two weeks, they would work out in his building’s gym. She was getting quite good, at it.

When they made it back to his condo, Amina headed straight for the shower.

“Would you like for me to join you?” he asked.

“If we were to shower together, you know we’d just get dirty all over again. Plus you need to get that ice pack. I see a knot in the center of your head.”

Ethan rubbed his forehead and felt a sizable bump. “Fair point. While you’re in there I can heat up some leftovers. We still have that Indian takeout.”

“Sounds good,” she called out as she went into the bathroom.

As Ethan was heating up the food his phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw that it was his mother.

“Eomma, how are you tonight?”

“I’m fine. How’s Amina?””

“She’s doing well.”

“Is she around? Put her on the phone so I can say hello.”

“She’s in the shower at the moment.”

“I’d love if she can visit me again soon. You don’t have to come with her.”

“Wow. You would treat your only born like this?”

“I see you all the time. I’ve always wanted a daughter and now I have one.”

It warmed Ethan’s heart that his mother had taken to Amina so quickly. He had been a bit worried at first because he wanted his mother to love Amina as much as he did. Now she always asked about Amina and how she was doing.

“Fair enough.”

She paused and released a heavy sigh. “Actually, there’s a reason I called.”

“Oh? What’s up? Did you need anything?”

“Actually, I was hoping we could talk. There’s been something weighing on my heart and I can’t hold it in anymore.”

Ethan frowned wondering why the conversation had suddenly taken a serious turn. “What’s the matter? Has something happened?”

“No, but there’s something I need to tell you. And when I do, I don’t want you to hate me.’

Ethan leaned against the kitchen counter fearing the worst. “Eomma, I could never hate you. What could you possibly have to say that would make you believe I’d hate you?”

“Maybe after hearing this you will.” She sighed again. “This is the kind of news I should probably tell you face to face but I’m not brave enough after what I’ve done.”

Ethan gripped the phone harder. The more she spoke the more his concern grew. “Eomma, just tell me what it is you need to say. I promise I won’t get upset.”

“Don’t make that promise, because I don’t think it’s one you can keep. So I won’t blame you if you do.”

Ethan switched to Korean. “Please tell me, Eomma.”

“Ethan, I’ve been keeping something from you for a long time and I’m so ashamed. I thought I was protecting you but now I realize I may have done you a huge disservice.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you came to visit with Amina, she said something that got me thinking?”

Ethan frowned. “What did she say?”

“It was nothing bad. She was just telling me about her background and how she had never met her father.”

“Okay,” Ethan said slowly still not understanding where this was going.

“She also mentioned how her mother chose not to be in her life and how if she ever met her again, she’d like to talk to her.”

“You keep pausing, Eomma. Please get to the point.”

“She said that everyone wants to know where they came from. And they she wanted to know her history. Is…is that how you feel about your father?”

Ethan rarely talked to his mother about his father because he knew it was a subject that hurt her. When he was younger, he’d bring up the topic often, but after the one time it made her cry, he stopped asking. He’d only brought up the topic two other times and that was when he spent the summer in Korea during college and in the first timeline just before he met up with Kim Soo-ah.

The fact that she was initiating a conversation about his father told him that something greater than he understood was going on here.

“Yes, Eomma. I know it’s probably too late in the game now to meet him or know anything about him but it would be nice to have that connection.”

“I see. Well, I think I already told gave you a brief history about your father and me. We were both college students who met at a mixer at the Asian student union. There was an instant attraction, and he quickly became my everything. You and I are alike because when we fall in love, we fall hard. I see it with you and Amina.”

“That’s true. I’m madly in love with her.”

“Yes, well, I was madly in love with your father. He was two years ahead of me, but we were inseparable. When it came time for him to graduate, he decided to stay in the US to go to graduate school. We moved in together and we both continued school. But then I got pregnant and that’s when everything fell apart. He said he would stand by me but he needed to go back to Korea and sort it out with his family.”

“He never came back…at least that’s what I told you.”

Ethan froze. “What do you mean?”

“When you were around two, he found us. I was working two jobs to support us and by then my heart was mostly healed from what he’d done but seeing him again opened up those old wounds. He said he wanted to see you because afterward he was going back home to get married to a woman his family deemed more suitable. I was so hurt and bitter that I refused to allow him to see you. But even still, I took money he offered to help out with you. It was enough to allow me to quit one of my jobs and continue school part time. I never saw him again after that but he would send letters to me on your birthday. I suspect he wanted me to give them to you but I never read them.”

“Did you throw them away?”

“No. I kept them. I have them in a box in my attic.”

“So, my father wasn’t ignoring me all this time?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that. He didn’t make a whole lot of effort beyond the funds he gave me when you were younger and those letters. I know when you went to Korea, he refused to see you, but the more that I think about it, that isn’t the case. He’s surrounded by people who shield him from the outside world. There’s a possibility that he may not know you tried to get in contact with him. So…there’s one more thing.”

“There’s more?” Ethan asked incredulously, unable to believe his mother had been lying to him all this time. He wanted to be angry but he wasn’t sure of what emotion to go with in that moment.

“Yes, shortly after you graduated high school, I received a personal letter from Mr. Park In-woo, your father’s secretary. He said if I ever needed anything I could contact him personally and he gave me his card. I know you wanted to get in contact with your father and I’ve been holding on to the means to talk to him all this time.”

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I told myself that I was protecting you. But instead, I was protecting me. You would think after all this time I would be over what he did. I don’t think I have the right to ask your forgiveness, but please know, I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Ethan didn’t know what to say. He wanted to offer his mother words of comfort to let her know that he still loved her no matter what but the words wouldn’t come.

“Ethan, please say something.”

“I’m not sure what to say. Eomma, I think I need to go but I promise I’ll call you later this week.”

“You hate me now, don’t you?” Her voice was shaky, and she sounded as if she was on the verge of tears.

“Of course not, Eomma. I love you. And I mean that. I just need some time to process all this.”

“You promise you don’t hate me?”

“I promise.”

“And you’ll call me?”

“Of course I will. I’m hanging up now. Goodnight.” He clicked off before she could respond.

Ethan walked to the kitchen table and collapsed onto the closest chair. He rested his head in his hands.

He understood why his mother felt the need to keep the information about his father away from him but she knew Ethan had been looking for him. She could have given him Mr. Park’s information and he would have perhaps been able to meet his father when he’d gone to Korea.

She’d allowed him to get his hopes up and said nothing when he’d been crushed. He’d forgive her eventually, but the hurt of her betrayal was raw.

“Ethan, are you okay? What’s the matter? Does your head hurt?” Amina asked entering the kitchen in nothing but a towel.

He’d forgotten about the stupid knot forming on his head.

He raised his head, his eyes stinging with tears.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” she asked.

Ethan pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Just hold me.” He buried his face against her body and broke down.