Chapter 15
Fifteen
“What’s wrong?” Dan asked Grant the next afternoon.
His friend had come by for a visit. “My mom has summoned us to the White House for some unknown reason.”
“Are you going?”
“I’d love to pretend like I didn’t get the message, but somehow, Voodoo Mama would know.”
“You’re too funny, man. Still worried about getting in trouble with your mommy. How old are you, anyway?”
“Thirty-six last time I checked.”
Dan grinned and shook his head.
“Until you’ve encountered Linda McCarthy’s wrath, you can’t judge me.”
“Whatever you say. Mind if I come along? I’m getting sick of looking at my own four walls.”
“Isn’t Kara coming over?”
“She’s working late, covering for one of her people. She’ll be here later.”
Dan reached out a hand to let his friend help him up from the sofa. He appreciated that Grant was super careful not to jostle him.
“Things with Kara are going well?”
“She’s amazing. I think I might be in love.”
“I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“I never thought I’d say it either. But there’s something about Kara that makes me want to take chances again.”
Grant helped Dan into a light jacket, which was complicated by the bulky cast on his arm. “I’m glad for you. She seems really great.”
“She’s been awesome since the accident. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.”
“So get this… My brother Adam is seeing Abby.”
“Abby, as in your ex Abby?”
“One and the same.”
“I thought she was engaged to that doctor. What was his name?”
Grant closed the door to Dan’s house. “Cal Maitland. Apparently, that’s over. Life in Texas didn’t agree with her.”
“Is that right?”
Grant held the door to his car for Dan and waited while his friend moved slowly and painfully into the passenger seat. “That’s what I heard.”
When they were on their way, Dan said, “So what do you think of Adam being with her?”
“It’s been over between us for a long time, but it’s still kind of weird to think of my own brother dating her, you know?”
“My brother and I dated the same girl once.”
Dan smiled at the memory of his beloved brother. It was nice to be able to smile at the memories now that time had somewhat softened the agony of his loss.
“How did that happen?”
“She was his high school girlfriend. They broke up senior year, and I worked with her a couple of summers later. We went out a few times, but it was making things weird with Dylan, so I broke it off with her. I figured it wasn’t going anywhere with her, so why put strain between me and him, you know? ”
“Sounds like a good call.”
“Will this put strain between you and Adam?”
“If it does, it’ll also put strain between me and Steph because she’ll think I’m jealous, which I’m not.”
“True,” Dan said with a chuckle that came out more like a grimace thanks to his injuries. “Puts you between a rock and a hard place, huh?”
“Seriously.”
“So it’s just you and me here. How do you really feel about it?”
“I don’t know exactly. I guess if I was being completely honest, I’d say I wish he was ‘hanging out’ with someone else.”
“That’s fair enough. I can certainly understand why you’d prefer that.”
“But the fact is, he’s seeing her, and I have to keep my mouth shut about it or cause trouble I don’t need with Steph.
She’s had so many disappointments and catastrophes in her life.
I refuse to be one of them, and I don’t want to trigger her insecurities.
She’s worked so hard to overcome them and to have faith in me—and in us.
I can’t screw that up. She means too damned much to me to let that happen. ”
“Ah, Grant. Look at us. All grown up at last.”
“I know, right? Sucks, doesn’t it?”
“Don’t make me laugh. I beg of you.”
“Sorry.”
Grant parked outside his parents’ home just as Mac arrived in one of the marina trucks and Evan pulled up on an old motorcycle. Another bike pulled into the driveway, which turned out to be Adam.
Standing beside the passenger door to help Dan, Grant called out to his brother. “Where’d you get that bike?”
“Rented it,” Adam said. “What’re you guys doing here?”
“Mom sent a text asking us to come,” Mac said. “No idea what’s up.”
“How come I wasn’t invited?” Adam asked.
“I guess you’re not one of her favorites,” Evan said. “But I could’ve told you that ages ago. Let’s go find out what she’s up to. I was right in the middle of something at the studio.”
The others filed in ahead of Grant, who waited for Dan.
“Hope I’m not intruding on a family moment,” Dan said.
“Don’t worry about it. There’re no secrets in this family.”
Inside, Dan said hello to Grant’s uncle Frank, who was talking to a woman Dan didn’t recognize. Grant and his brothers greeted Frank with hugs.
“Here they all are,” Linda said. “Our sons Mac, Evan, Grant and Adam. Oh, and Grant’s friend Dan is here. He was on the boat, too.”
“Boys, this is Betsy Jacobson. Steve’s mother.”
“No,” Grant said. “No.” He bolted from the house.
Dan watched Grant go, shocked by his abrupt departure.
The others called after him.
“Grant! Stop! Wait.”
“Grant!”
Wondering what the hell was happening, Dan followed the brothers from the house.
Mac was the one who stopped Grant’s sprint down the street by putting his arms around his brother as the others caught up to them.
“Stop. Grant… Don’t run. I’ve got you.”
Grant broke as his brother’s formidable strength surrounded him, holding him, as he sobbed.
“It’s okay.” Mac held him tightly. “Let it out.” Mac’s hand on the back of Grant’s head kept his face pressed tight against his big brother’s shoulder. “Let it go. No matter what it is, we love you, we’ll always love you.”
“No,” Grant said between sobs. “No, you won’t.”
“Yes, we will. That could never change. Nothing you could do would make me not love you.”
“He’s right,” Evan said from behind Grant. “He speaks for all of us.”
“You don’t understand,” Grant said.
“Make us understand, buddy,” Adam said. “Let us help.”
“Let me in.”
Grant stiffened at the sound of Big Mac’s voice.
Mac smoothly transitioned his brother into the arms of their father, who held him even more tightly than Mac had.
“Tell us what’s got you so upset,” Big Mac said. “Put it out there, get it off your chest, let us share the load.”
Surrounded by the unconditional love of his family, Grant started to talk between sobs.
The boat, the crash, landing in the water with Dan and Steve, both grievously injured, not knowing where Mac or Evan were and faced with an unimaginable choice: save one of his best friends or save the man he’d met only that morning.
He couldn’t save them both and save himself, too.
“Dan went under. If I hadn’t gone after him, he wouldn’t have come back up.
I didn’t think. I just did it. I let Steve go so I could save Dan. ”
“Oh God,” Mac said. “God.”
“I couldn’t save him.” Grant choked on sobs. “And now his mother’s here, and I have to tell her that? I have to tell her I let him go because I couldn’t save him and Dan?”
“Grant…”
He pulled back from his dad and found Dan staring at him, stricken as realization set in.
“I chose you. I chose to save you, and now he’s dead, and it’s my fault.”
The circle of men around him sniffled and wiped their eyes.
Dan went to his friend and hugged him as best he could.
“It’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the ship that hit us, the fog, the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
There was nothing you could’ve done but survive.
You saved my life. It’s thanks to you that Steve and I aren’t both dead. ”
“That’s right, son,” Big Mac said. “Do you give yourself any credit for saving Dan?”
“I wanted to save them both.” Grant seemed depleted by the emotional firestorm. “I saw Dan go under, and I had to get him. I had to.”
“You couldn’t save them both,” Adam said. “And no one will blame you for reaching for the one who’s been your friend for so long.”
“Not even Steve’s mother?” Grant asked him. “Will she understand? I can’t tell her this. She’s come here for answers, and I can’t tell her. I can’t.”
“We’ll do it for you,” Mac said. “We’ve got your back. We’ve always got your back.”
Big Mac framed Grant’s face with big hands, forcing him to meet his father’s steely, determined gaze.
“I’m proud of you, son. You saved Dan’s life.
You saved my life and your mother’s and Stephanie’s by saving your own.
You faced an unimaginable dilemma, and you did the best you could. That’s all anyone can ever do.”
He choked back a sob. “Don’t be proud of me for letting Steve die.”
“You didn’t let him die,” Big Mac said. “That was God’s will. Not yours.”
Grant broke down anew at his father’s absolution—absolution he probably felt he didn’t deserve, but which brought a measure of peace anyway.
Dan used his left hand to wipe away tears. He’d had no idea what’d happened to Grant out there and couldn’t believe his friend had been walking around with that kind of guilt ever since. Grant hadn’t been himself after the accident. Everyone had noticed that. Now they knew why.
“We’re all behind you, Grant,” Evan said.
“It was a nightmare out there. Mac and I can attest to that. One minute, we were on the front of the boat, and the next minute, we were in the water, in the fog, and we couldn’t find each other.
How you managed to save Dan—as well as yourself—is amazing to me, and I’m sure to Mac, too. ”
“It is,” Mac agreed. “I had all I could do to keep my own head above water. I have no idea how you were able to save Dan, too.”
“Let’s go in there and face Steve’s mom together,” Big Mac said. “She wants the truth. She needs the truth. Let’s give that to her, and maybe it’ll set you free, too.”
Seeming exhausted and wrung out from the ordeal of confession, Grant let his dad guide him into the house.