Chapter 40
Forty
He reached the curb in time to watch her taxi pull away.
Running into traffic, he gave chase, but couldn’t catch the car.
With his arm in the air and shivering from the cold, he tried to hail another cab as hers got further away.
When he realized he wouldn’t be able to catch up to her, he jogged back to the restaurant, dropped his hands to his knees, and tried to regroup.
That’s where his parents and grandfather found him a few minutes later. His father handed him his coat.
“Ted, darling, what’s wrong?” Mitzi asked.
“Nothing.” For the first time in months, he meant it. “Nothing’s wrong.” Everything had clicked into focus with such startling clarity it had left him breathless. He put up his hand again to signal for a taxi. “Do you know where Caroline’s staying, Mom?”
“No, I don’t,” Mitzi said with genuine regret.
“Will you be all right in that hotel room by yourself tonight, Grampa?”
“I think I’ll get by,” Theo said with a smile. “Your Grandy would’ve been proud of you tonight, Third. Smitty, too. Now, go get your wife.”
Ted kissed them all and hailed a second cab for them before jumping into his. “JFK, please,” he said to the driver.
He got to the airport to learn the last commuter flight to Boston was long gone. So he rented a car and reversed his middle-of-the night odyssey from the summer before, arriving at the condo in Boston just after four in the morning. This time, though, Caroline wasn’t waiting for him with open arms.
Because his keys were in his hotel room in New York, he was relieved to find the house key still under the flowerpot on the front porch. He let himself in, deactivated the alarm, and flipped on the light to find that not much had changed in the two months since he’d last been there.
No, that wasn’t true. Everything had changed. He wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened, but this wasn’t his place anymore. It was their place.
She wasn’t home, though, so nothing was where it belonged.
On the fridge he found the list they’d made on their wedding night.
She’d checked off number five, he had a new job.
And number six—her book was finished. Ted felt as if he might burst with pride.
She’d really done it. And number seven. .
. Oh God, she’d checked off number seven: have a baby.
“Caroline,” he whispered, running a hand over the creamy vellum.
As the emotion of the evening finally caught up to him, he leaned his head against the list and let the tears roll down his cheeks. What a fool he had been. What would he ever do if she couldn’t forgive him? When he was all cried out, he sat down to wait.
He slept on the sofa and woke up hungry.
Shedding his suit coat and tugging his tie all the way off, he got up to make coffee and toast. After he ate, he went upstairs to take a shower and changed into clothes that still hung just where he’d left them in the closet.
Even his toothbrush was unmoved. He might have walked out the door two hours ago rather than two months ago.
Dressed in jeans and a sweater, he went back downstairs and wandered into what used to be his office.
Here he found her. She had made this space her own.
Ted was perplexed to discover, mixed in with the papers on the desk, brochures for Children’s Hospital Boston, the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the Jimmy Fund Clinic.
Each was adorned with sticky notes containing her handwriting.
Also on the desk was a neat stack of paper.
Her book. As he rested a loving hand on the book, a framed photo caught his eye.
Their second wedding. They had been captured in an unguarded moment when he had swept her into his arms. He picked up the frame and studied the image.
“Come home, Caroline,” he whispered. “Please come home.”
He could call her. He knew that. But he was too afraid she wouldn’t come if she knew he was there. Maybe he had waited too long to realize what he’d had and walked away from. Maybe he had pushed her too far away. Maybe he had taken too much for granted. It wouldn’t be the first time.
No, he would wait. And until she came home, he would read.
He finished the book at five o’clock that afternoon and sat back with amazement. The story was captivating, the characters compelling, her descriptions vivid. He had even found himself rooting for Cameron to triumph in the highly satisfying ending.
“Damn, Caroline! You’re good, baby.” He checked his watch. “But where are you?”
Gathering up the papers that had scattered during his reading frenzy, Ted returned the pile to the desk. He fixed himself a sandwich and was reaching for the remote to turn on the TV when he heard her key in the door.
She came in, dropped her bag on the floor, and was taking off her coat when she let out a startled gasp. “Ted? What are you doing here?”
“I’ve been here since about four o’clock this morning.”
Her eyes softened as she studied his tired face. “Have you been speeding again?”
He nodded and held out his arms to her.
She took a step toward him but then stopped herself. “I can’t. If you aren’t back to stay, I can’t go near you. It was hard enough to sit next to you last night and pretend we’re still together.”
He extended his hand. “There’s so much I need to say to you. Please?”
With what seemed to be great reluctance, she took his hand and let him lead her to the sofa.
“Were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Number seven.”
“Oh. You saw that, huh?”
He nodded.
“I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I knew you’d come home because of it, and as much as I wanted you home, I didn’t want it to be for that reason.”
He ran his hand over her smooth blond hair. “How far along are you?”
“About twelve weeks.”
“Have you seen a doctor?”
“Yes, Dr. Duffy.” She laughed through her tears. “Yes, I’ve seen a doctor.”
“I’ve spent all night trying to figure out when, how . . .”
“Since you’re the doctor, I would think you’d know how, and I’d say you sealed your fate when you chucked my birth control pills into the trash.”
He grinned. “One of my finer moments, if I do say so myself.” Brushing away her tears, he said, “I love you so much, Caroline. Right after you walked away from me last night I realized I couldn’t live another minute without you.
I’m so sorry I left when things got hard.
I took the coward’s way out, and I’ll always regret that. ”
“You did what you needed to do.”
“What I need is you. After everything we’ve been through, do you still love me?”
“I never stopped loving you. Have you forgiven yourself, Ted?”
He folded her into his arms. “I decided to forgive myself somewhere between unsuccessfully chasing your cab down West 52nd Street and Greenwich, Connecticut, where I think the same state trooper stopped me for speeding. Again.”
She laughed and cried at the same time.
“I want my wife back.”
“Ted,” she sighed, closing her eyes against the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “I want the magic back. Without the magic, we were just two people living together.”
“I know, baby.” He kissed her softly at first and then with more passion as her arms tightened around him. “It’s important to me that you know . . .”
With her hand on his face, she asked, “What?”
He took a moment to get a handle on his emotions. “Even if I’d known I was in for a spectacular fall from grace the night I met you, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. You were always worth it, Caroline. Every bit of it. All the craziness led us right here.”
“It also led Smitty to Marjorie,” she reminded him.
He rested his hand on her belly. “And it brought us this little person.”
“Edward Theodore Duffy, the fourth.”
“A boy?” he asked, wide eyed.
She nodded.
“No way.” He shook his head. “No way am I giving my son a Roman numeral.”
“But I promised Mitzi.”
He groaned. “What’s with you and my mother anyway?”
“We’ve . . .” She scratched her chin as she pretended to search for the right word. “Bonded in your absence.”
“Oh God. Has she got him registered for Harvard Medical School yet?”
Caroline cracked up. “The application is in the mail.”
“So would she have anything to do with how you ended up with brochures from the hospital all over your desk?”
“Maybe,” she said with a coy smile.
“They’ll miss you when you move to New Hampshire.”
“Am I moving to New Hampshire?”
“Well, you’ll probably want to come straight back here when you see the house I bought up there. Calling it a fixer-upper would be charitable.”
“Will you be there?”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
She shrugged. “Then Edward the fourth and I will adapt.”
“I read your book,” he confessed.
“Did you?”
“It’s unbelievable, Caroline.” He kissed her. “Truly. I couldn’t put it down. I’m so proud of you.”
“You’re the first one to read it.”
His eyes widened with surprise. “Really?”
She nodded. “Cameron and I talked about it, and we decided we wanted you to be first.”
“I’ve had just about enough of him.”
“I’m thinking about a sequel,” she teased.
He groaned with dismay as he lifted her into his arms and took the stairs two at a time on his way to their bedroom. “No sequels. We need to write a whole new story. You were right about one thing, though.”
“What’s that?”
He lay down with her on the bed and was overwhelmed with wonder when he ran his hand over the small but unmistakable bump in her once-flat belly. “It’s one hell of a romance.”
“Yes,” she said with a contented sigh. “Yes, it is.”
“I want some number nine.” He kissed his way from her lips to her neck. “I’ve had two long, lonely months to discover that nine’s my favorite number.”
She smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Before you get any nine, I need you to promise me we’re going to get to ten.”
“I promise you, Caroline.” He slid his lips over hers. “I promise that you, me, and Fourth will live happily ever after.”
“You are not going to call him that!”
He chuckled against her lips.
“Ted?”
“What, honey?”
“The magic’s back.”
Thank you for reading The Fall.