Chapter 15
Fifteen
Carly took a shower after dinner. She told herself it was because she’d woken up hot and sweaty after her nap, but she knew better.
Brushing her long curls until they were shiny and soft, she studied her reflection in the mirror.
I wonder what he’ll see when he looks at me.
What will I see when I look at him? Will he have changed so much I won’t recognize my Brian in the man he is now?
Will he think I’ve changed, too? Maybe he won’t recognize me.
Never one to wear much makeup, she settled on just a light coating of mascara along with lip gloss and went into the kids’ room to put on a skirt, sleeveless top, and leather sandals.
She checked herself one last time in a full-length mirror behind the door to Caren’s old room before she went downstairs.
“You look lovely,” Carol said.
“Not like I went to too much trouble, though, right?”
“As lovely as always.”
“My heart is pounding, and my palms are sweaty,” Carly confessed.
Carol reached for Carly’s hands. “I’d be worried if your palms weren’t sweaty right now.”
“Whose palms are sweaty?” Steve asked as he joined them by the front door.
Carly tugged back her hands. “No one’s. Let’s go.”
Carol brought a basket containing the extra meatloaf she had made for the Westburys as well as some of the brownies from the neighbor. They stepped into the soft summer evening to make the short walk.
Seven hundred and eighty-six steps . . . Had it ever taken so long to walk seven hundred and eighty-six steps? By the time they stood in front of the Westbury’s house, Carly had to remind herself to breathe—in, out, in, out.
Carol must have sensed Carly’s anxiety, because she slipped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders.
Mary Ann answered the door with a delighted smile and hugs for all of them.
Carol handed her the basket of food. “So you won’t have to cook one night.”
“It smells wonderful, Carol! Thank you so much. Can I get you all something to drink? How about a beer, Steve?”
“I won’t say no to that.”
“That sounds good to me, too,” Carol said.
“Nothing for me, thanks, Mrs. Westbury,” Carly said.
“Carly,” Mary Ann said, reaching out to caress Carly’s cheek. “It’s so good to hear your voice, but you’re old enough to call me Mary Ann.”
“Isn’t it amazing to hear her talking again?” Carol asked, her eyes filling with tears that she brushed at with impatience. “I said I wasn’t going to cry about it anymore, and then here I go again.”
Steve put a comforting arm around his wife.
“Come on up.” Mary Ann led them up the short flight of stairs to the living room where Michael rested in a recliner.
He dropped the footrest and got up. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you, young lady.”
Wondering where the heck Brian was, Carly crossed the room to the chief and wrapped her arms around him. “You scared me,” she whispered.
“Right back atcha, honey,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “You shaved about ten years off my life yesterday afternoon.”
Carly hugged him for a long moment before she pulled back to study his face. He looked pale, but otherwise there was no sign of his recent ordeal. “Everything’s all right? With your heart?”
“Hale and hearty,” he said with a smile.
Every nerve in Carly’s body was suddenly on full alert, and she knew without turning around that Brian was hugging her mother and shaking hands with her father.
“That’s a relief,” she forced herself to say to the chief. “You need to take better care of yourself.”
“Not you, too,” Michael groaned. “I thought you and I were friends.”
“We are.” Carly poked him lightly. “That’s why I want to keep you around for a while.”
“I can’t get over you chattering away like you never stopped.”
“I’m still getting used to it myself.”
“My son is waiting patiently to say hello to you,” he whispered loud enough for the whole room to hear him.
“Your son’s here?” she whispered back. “I hadn’t heard that.”
Everyone laughed, which made it easier for her to finally turn around.
And then there he was—her Brian, only older and, if possible, even more handsome than she could’ve imagined.
Neither the pictures in the paper nor the TV cameras had done him justice.
Feeling as if all the air had been sucked from her lungs, she stood perfectly still as he closed the distance between them.
“My mother said you hadn’t changed at all,” he said. “I didn’t believe that was possible, but it seems she was right.”
Carly had forgotten how tall he was. Looking up to find his hazel eyes fixed on her, she had no idea what she was supposed to do. Overcome by a thousand emotions, she wanted to hug him, kiss him, hold him, never let him go . . .
He solved the problem for both of them by hugging her.
Surprised, Carly was slow to respond. But then her hands were on his back, and she relaxed against him, willing herself not to cry. Not with an audience. Later, maybe, but not now.
Carly heard sniffling and realized one or both of their mothers hadn’t been so strong.
“Well,” Mary Ann said brightly. “How about those drinks?”
The others followed her into the kitchen to give Brian and Carly a moment alone.
Brian released her, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him. He seemed to be having the same problem.
“It’s good to see you,” she said, putting it mildly.
“You, too.” He looped one of her curls around his finger.
The familiar gesture took her breath away.
“And to hear you talking again . . .”
Swallowing hard, she had to remind herself she was expected to say something. What would he think if I kissed him instead? “It’s been a strange, crazy day.”
“I know what you mean. I woke up this morning in my old room and had no idea where I was.”
“I woke up in my mother’s bed because I was too afraid to sleep alone.”
“When I heard what happened to you yesterday . . .” With what seemed to be great reluctance, he let his hand drop from her hair. It landed on her shoulder. “Are you all right?”
Touched by his concern and distracted by the feel of his warm hand on her shoulder, she said, “I have good moments and bad moments.” Her cheeks heated with embarrassment. “You heard where he put her.”
Nodding, he said, “We probably should talk about that, but right now do you think maybe I could . . .”
“What?” she stammered, undone by the intensity of his gaze.
“I really want to hug you again.”
She stepped into his strong arms, but this time she made no attempt to stop the tears.
Brian held her for much longer than he should have. He had told himself to play it cool, but the moment he saw her, all his good intentions disappeared. Judging by her tears, this moment was as overwhelming for her as it was for him.
“Carly,” he whispered. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry.” She pulled back from him and wiped her face. “I can’t seem to help it. I’ve imagined what it would be like to see you again, but nothing could’ve prepared me.”
Cradling her face in his hands, he touched his lips to her forehead. “I’ve thought about you, too. More often than I should probably admit to. I walked in here when you were hugging my dad, and it was an odd feeling to realize you’re closer to him these days than you are to me.”
“That wasn’t my choice,” she reminded him with a small smile.
“Touché,” he said, grinning. “I need to let you go now so we can visit with our parents, but what I really want is to take you by the hand and get the hell out of here.”
“And go where?” The dashing and almost dangerous edge to him was new—and exciting.
He clutched her hands. “Anywhere.”
“I wondered if I would see you while you were home,” she confessed.
“Did you really think I’d be here and not see you?” he asked, incredulous.
“I didn’t know.”
“Yes, you did.”
She held his gaze. “It might’ve been better if we hadn’t.”
“Safer, maybe, but not better. Not better.”
In that moment, a zing of awareness passed between them—everything they had once felt for each other was still there. Perhaps even stronger than before.
“Brian . . .”
“Let’s go spend some time with the parents. I’ll walk you home later.”
“Just like old times?” she asked with a smile.
He returned her smile. “Only better.”
“I’d forgotten how quiet it is here,” Brian commented as they left his parents’ house two hours later.
“Anywhere must be quiet compared to New York City. How do you stand it?”
He shrugged. “I hardly notice it anymore. At first it was completely overwhelming—so many people, so much noise and chaos. But you do get used to it.”
Their hands bumped together, and he took advantage of the opportunity to lace his fingers through hers.
The touch of his hand electrified her. To be walking through a quiet summer night holding hands with Brian Westbury, like fifteen years hadn’t passed since the last time she held his hand .
. . What was left of her common sense compelled her to let go while she still could, but somehow she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Just a few weeks ago, she’d thought an hour with him would be enough. How foolish that seemed now.
“I was surprised to hear you were in New York.” She wanted to know everything about his life, every detail since she’d last seen him. “I never pictured you for the city.”
“It was the job that appealed to me more than the location. The D.A., Saul Stein, is a good guy to work for.”
“I followed the Gooding trial,” she confessed. “I was so proud of you, Brian.”
“That means a lot. Thank you.”
“Why didn’t you go to Harvard for law school?”
“Do you know everything about me?” he asked with a chuckle.
Embarrassed, she looked down at the sidewalk.
He stopped walking and turned to her. “It’s flattering to know you didn’t forget about me.”
“Forget about you?” She released a choppy laugh. “It’s safe to say I did not forget about you.”
With his hands on her face, he asked, “Has there been anyone else?”
She shook her head.
“Carly,” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her.
His lips were soft and undemanding, and for a moment, she allowed herself to simply feel the sensations that spiraled through her.
His kiss was familiar and yet new at the same time.
Then reality came crashing down to remind her he was home for only a few days, and she couldn’t let him do this to her.
She wouldn’t survive it a second time. With a hand on his chest, she gently pushed him away. “Don’t.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. I’ve missed you so much. I don’t think I had any idea how much until I saw you tonight.”
“Please don’t do this,” she pleaded. “We can’t pick up where we left off like nothing ever happened. In a few days, you’ll be back in New York, and I’ll be left here again. I can’t go through that again. It was bad enough the first time.”
“Do you want to know why I didn’t go to Harvard?”
She nodded, grateful the conversation was headed in a less intense direction.
“Because I was such a mess after leaving you here that my freshman year was a bit of a disaster. I would’ve lost my scholarship, but my mother—in her infinite wisdom—had mentioned to my academic counselor that I’d lost my brother and asked her to keep an eye on me.
So the counselor went to bat for me. I got my act together the second year, but my grade point average never recovered.
I was very, very lucky to get into Northwestern Law. ”
Overcome, she rested her head on his chest.
Putting his arms around her, he spoke softly and close to her ear.
“By the time I got to Ann Arbor, it was too late to get out of the lease on the apartment. I had to live alone in the place we were supposed to share. There were days when I was so paralyzed by grief and sadness I couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone go to class. ”
“Brian,” she whispered.
“I was so sure I’d done the right thing, but leaving was easy compared to living without you.”
Carly broke free of his embrace and ran toward her parents’ house.
He chased after her. “Carly! Wait!”
She tugged her arm free of his grasp and kept running.
At her parents’ front gate, he caught up to her and pulled her into his arms.
“I can’t start this all up again and then watch you leave,” she said, breathless from running and the emotions he had reawakened in her.
“If we start this up again, I’ll never let you go. I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.” He captured her mouth in a hot, passionate kiss that was full of longing.
This time she reached for him, her arms tight around his neck as her tongue tangled with his in a fierce burst of desire that made her head spin. She hadn’t felt anything like it since the last time he held her.
With a gasp, he tore his lips free of hers and kissed her face, her jaw, and then her neck.
Carly’s knees were weak, and only the tight hold he had on her kept her from sliding into a puddle on the sidewalk.
“I looked for you everywhere I went,” he whispered.
“I married one woman because she reminded me of you and another because she was nothing like you. But I discovered there’s only one you, Carly.
I’m not going anywhere until this guy is caught and you’re safe.
And when the time comes for me to leave, either you’ll go with me, or I won’t go at all. ”
His lips brushed over her ear, making her tremble.
“Tonight, when you’re in bed, I want you to think about that, all right?”
Somehow she managed a small nod.
He kissed her again, long and deep, and when he pulled back from her, he looked down at her with his heart in his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Opening the gate, he nudged her inside and waited until she was in the house.
She rested her forehead on the screen door.
With a wave, he turned and walked away.