Chapter 21 #2
“It never occurred to me to give you the chance. You’d made your choice to go, and at the time, I could see how it was the best thing for you to make a clean break the way you did.
It was what you needed, Brian. Being stuck with a wife who couldn’t talk or leave her parents’ house and a baby who needed everything wasn’t the life I’d imagined for you.
You were destined for better things. It also never occurred to me to wonder if you would’ve done the right thing by me—and Zoe—had you known. ”
“I would have.”
“I know that. I’ve always known that. But you might not have made it through college or become the great attorney you are today. I couldn’t ask you to sacrifice your whole life, and because I was in no condition to raise a child, that’s where Cate and Tom came into it.”
“We got married shortly after you left,” Cate said.
“We eloped, actually. Tom was going to graduate school in California, and I wanted to go with him. We came home a year later and told our extended family and friends we’d had a baby.
Because Carly hadn’t left the house since the accident, no one but us even knew she was pregnant.
So no one outside of our family ever questioned whether the baby was ours. ”
“What your parents must’ve thought of me,” Brian said, shaking his head. “To leave you alone and pregnant.”
“They never blamed you, Bri,” Carly said. “They knew I hadn’t told you.”
“And you just stepped in willingly to raise a child that wasn’t yours?” Brian asked Tom, trying hard not to resent the man for something that wasn’t his fault. “How do you do that?”
“It was simple, really,” Tom said with a shrug.
“I love Cate, and she asked me to. And then when I saw Zoe for the first time, any doubts I had just faded away. I’ve loved her from the first instant I ever saw her.
” Tom’s voice broke. “She’s my little girl.
I can’t imagine how you must feel right now, but I love her, and I’ve tried to be a good father to her. ”
Wiping at her own tears, Cate put her arm around her husband.
Suddenly exhausted, Brian sat down on the sofa. “When was she born?”
“April 5, 1996,” Carly said softly.
Brian looked up at her with a gasp. “On Sam’s birthday?”
Tears rolled down Carly’s cheeks as she nodded. “It was like a sign from above that he was watching over me. I can’t even explain how that felt.”
Brian let his head fall into his hands as he, too, was felled by tears. “Oh, God, Carly,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands. “What that would’ve done for my parents. For me. To know that.”
Carly sat down next to him and put her arm around him, drawing his head to her chest. “I’m so sorry, Bri.
I tried to do what was best for all of us, what was best for you and our baby.
And I’m sorry I lied to you about being on the pill, but I’m not sorry we got Zoe from it.
She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You and Zoe are the best of me, Brian.”
“You got to watch her grow up. You got to be part of her life.”
“Yes, and I’m so sorry you didn’t. I’d give anything to have been able to share her with you. I’ve always thought of Zoe as one more thing we lost that night on Tucker Road.”
He raised his head and wiped his face. “I want her to know where she came from—”
“No,” Tom said. “I won’t let you turn her life upside down.”
“She’s my daughter. I have a right to know her, and she has a right to the truth.”
Cate moved to sit on the coffee table and took Brian’s hands. “You’re not a selfish person, Brian, so I’m asking you to think long and hard about what you’d be doing to Zoe by telling her this. Everything we did, everything we all did, was done out of love—not only for Zoe but for you, too.”
Brian knew his skepticism showed on his face and made no effort to hide it.
“When you told Carly you were leaving and not coming back, she respected you enough and loved you enough to let you go, even though losing you broke her heart,” Cate said.
“I can see how you feel wronged by what we did, and I understand that, but please don’t take it out on Zoe.
Don’t give her reason to question everything she knows to be true.
I don’t think she’d recover from that blow on top of the one she’s just suffered. ”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a prosecutor, it’s that the truth comes out eventually, and when it’s controlled, it does a hell of a lot less damage than when it happens by accident, like it did today.”
“There’s no reason for her to ever know,” Carly said. “She’s a happy, well-adjusted kid who would never, ever suspect Cate and Tom aren’t her biological parents. I’m begging you, we all are, to put what’s best for her ahead of what’s best for you.”
“If I hadn’t guessed, would you have ever told me?”
“No.”
“And you could’ve married me with that kind of secret between us?”
“Without hesitation. I love you more than life itself, and I have since I was thirteen.”
“When we were in Newport and talked about having a baby, why didn’t you tell me then?”
“Because the one thing Tom and Cate asked of me when they did this incredible thing for me was that I never tell anyone, including you, that she was mine. It was their only stipulation. But when you asked me straight out today, I couldn’t lie to you.”
Trying desperately to absorb it all, Brian took a deep breath.
When he looked up, the three of them were watching him, all of them rigid with anxiety.
“I understand what you’re saying about not telling Zoe.
I hear you on that, Cate. I don’t want to upset her life any more than you do. But I have a stipulation of my own.”
“What’s that?” Tom asked.
“I want my parents to know she’s mine. I want them to know she was born on Sam’s birthday, the first birthday after he died.”
“They’ll want to be involved in her life,” Tom said, the fear written all over his face.
“They’ll do—or not do—whatever I ask them to. You have my word on that.”
Cate and Tom exchanged glances.
“I guess we could live with that,” Cate said.
“There’s one other thing,” Brian said. “I want to spend some time with her. I want to get to know her. Carly and I could take her away for a few days under the pretense that we understand what she’s going through since we lost our friends, too.”
“I don’t know about that,” Cate said, glancing at Carly.
“You’re close to her, right?” Brian asked Carly.
“Yes.”
“So why would she think it odd to be spending a few days with you and your fiancé?”
“She wouldn’t, I guess.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s up to Tom and Cate,” Carly said. “They’re her parents.”
“Can we sleep on it?” Cate asked. “We need to talk about it.”
“Of course,” Brian said.
Cate hugged her sister and then surprised Brian by hugging him, too.
“We’ll talk to you in the morning,” Cate said as she and Tom moved toward the door.
“Cate?” Brian said.
They turned back.
Brian went over to them. “I don’t like that this was kept from me, but that has nothing to do with you two, and it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the enormity of what you guys did for Carly and Zoe and for me, too, I guess. So, um, thank you.”
Tom shook his hand. “It’s been our pleasure,” he said in a hushed tone. “Entirely our pleasure.”
Brian saw them out the door, and when he turned back to face Carly, he had absolutely no idea what to say to her.