Twenty-Seven
Valerie woke up feeling warmer and more crowded than usual. Then she was fully awake because Nico lay beside her, arm over his eyes and shirtless.
She’d been on a high since her birthday. Valerie had been resigned to her usual dismal day. If she was lucky, she’d get a couple texts from friends and family. She assumed Nico wouldn’t care—he didn’t seem like a celebration guy—and she hadn’t told any of the Badgertons.
Instead, he’d made it one of the best days of her life.
To have Nico not only remember but plan adventures he thought she’d like made her feel like she mattered.
She knew she had value, obviously. She’d been to elementary school, and she’d sung the upbeat songs about how they all had a little light that meant everyone counted exactly the same.
However, it had also been clear, even to a child, that people considered some lights brighter or more important than others.
She’d often found herself forgotten when she stopped doing things for others.
Her stepmother hadn’t bothered with her after the twins were past the age where they needed to be babysat, and her father was an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of guy.
They had a pleasant time when she suggested lunch, but they were more like acquaintances than anything else.
Her mother loved her, but her attention was on Erica’s wedding the same way it had been on Erica’s career, and schooling, and feelings.
Her mother had told Valerie it was because Erica, and Justin, needed her more.
“I never have to worry about you,” she’d said. “I always said you’re one who helps, not one who needs it.”
For a long time, Valerie had told herself that it was a good thing she’d been no trouble. It was good to be the helper. But Valerie wanted to be worried about a bit. She wanted to matter, and Nico had made her feel that. She’d hugged that close all day.
It was almost as thrilling as the other day on the dock when he’d told her that he saw what was between them as something more than physical. She’d been careful in her reply because there was a lot going on, but inside, she felt something that had been unsettled for ages finally calm down.
Today, however, her brain decided enough was enough and it was time to ruin her contented state by pointing out a sad truth.
She felt like a liar.
Which she was, don’t get her wrong. But living with the theory of it back in Toronto was different from being with people she was actively deceiving and who had recently sung her “Happy Birthday.”
“Do you think I’m wrong for doing this?” she asked suddenly.
Nico, who had been sleeping, jolted awake and stared at her before looking around with trepidation. “What, me?”
She poked him. “No. Roger’s daughter.”
He turned to face her, eyes gentle despite the abrupt wake-up. “What’s going on?”
“Everyone was so nice about my birthday. Brayden offered me a protein cutlet to counteract the sugar so I didn’t go into crash mode.”
“A cutlet?”
“He made a paste out of protein powder and nutritional yeast, then shaped it like a cartoon pork chop and air-dried it.”
Nico made a face. “That sounds more like a threat than an expression of acceptance.”
“My point is that I’m playing with these people’s emotions and now I feel bad.” She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. “And, yes, probably I should have been feeling bad before this, but better late than never.”
“You can always stop,” he said. “No one will blame you.”
“Then I’ll feel bad for failing Roger! I’m always going to feel bad.”
“Does it help to know that right now, Roger can’t trust anyone? If you find out who knew about Yvette and his daughter, it will make a huge difference to him. He’ll have a family.” Nico paused. “At least he’ll have a chance to try.”
“I know, but…” Her voice trailed off.
“I don’t think you’re a bad person for doing this. It matters.”
“Thanks, Nico.” She did feel better. She liked being validated.
“You’re welcome.”
“I jumped right into angst and didn’t say good morning.” She leaned over and rubbed against him to see his eyes flutter, then widen as she guided his hand over her waist.
“Good morning.” It had been his voice that first attracted her, and it still did things to her, especially low and rough like this. He pulled her underneath him and kissed her temple. “What time is it?”
“Early. Time to get up and greet the world.”
He slid his hand between them. “That can wait.”
Valerie suspected this was the first time in Nico’s life he was reluctant to jump up and take advantage of the day, and that was good for her ego.
Once he’d left her panting and so relaxed all she wanted was to return to sleep, then have another go, he gave her a final kiss and climbed down the ladder to where his clothes lay neatly folded on a chair.
“Want to come swimming?”
She roused herself to gaze over the edge of the loft. “No, but I want to watch you swim.”
“You know the chances seeing a water snake are almost zero.”
“I’m no mathematician, but I believe almost zero is not zero.”
They decided to head to the kitchen first. Valerie had wondered if the Badgertons would comment on their shifting relationship status, since what Nico had done for her birthday clearly went beyond colleague territory, but the most she’d had to endure were Fernie congratulating her on a nice pull and Penny’s pinched expression.
When they’d passed Roger on the way to the lake, he’d given Valerie a smile that indicated that he approved or, at least, didn’t care.
Out of courtesy, they were careful about continuing to act professional around the others, although it didn’t stop her from brushing her hand down his back to feel the warmth of his skin before they went in.
They found Penny pacing, phone in one hand. She gave them a distracted wave and moved away from where Jenn was making tea.
“Is everything okay?” Valerie asked Jenn.
She sighed. “Some bad news. Helena Reeves passed away.” Valerie accepted the mug of green tea she offered, although she didn’t want it. She couldn’t refuse when Jenn had been kind enough to think of her.
“Who’s Helena Reeves?” she asked.
“She’s been living here for ages and used to teach boating at the marina. She’s over eighty, and she was ill for a while, so it’s not a shock, although a surprise.” She looked up when Penny returned. “Penny, want some green tea? It has calming properties.”
“God, none of your grassy muck. I remember when you drank coffee like normal people.” Penny ran a hand through her short blond bob. “Oh, hello, Nico. Shouldn’t you be helping Roger? Valerie, you’re the person I need. Did Jenn tell you about Helena?”
“I’m sorry. It sounds like Helena was important to the town, and your life here.”
Penny leaned on one of the stools and accepted an espresso from Jenn without looking at her.
“As soon as I heard about her passing, I knew I had to host her celebration of life before Tracey Jefferies could make a hash of it. At her last party, she claimed the scallops were diver, but they were clearly bay. This is small enough that I can trust you to handle it.”
“Me?” Valerie glanced around as if to confirm there was no other celebration-of-life planner Penny might have been talking to.
“I assume you learned some valuable lessons from Dad’s event?” She stared expectantly at Valerie, then smiled. “This is a good chance for you to keep evolving your skills. I say that to my artists all the time.”
Valerie knew she was supposed to accept eagerly.
It was her job after all, or was, and a way she could continue to make up her failure to the Badgertons.
But there was something in the way Penny assumed she would do it, that her work was something Penny could presume to benefit from, that rubbed her the wrong way despite the smile.
But this was another chance to redeem herself and to do what she loved. Plus, Penny’s faith that she could do a good job gave her a feeling of redemption. She needed that.
“Of course I can help.”
“Yes, I already told the family. The funeral is in two days, and we can have the party the day after.” Penny didn’t wait for an answer. “It’s what I can do to honor Helena.”
Jenn followed her out, leaving Nico and Valerie alone. She put her head in her hands. “Three days.”
“She has no right to offer your services like that, and for no pay.”
Surprised, she looked up to see Nico fuming. “I have to.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I want to help.” Valerie felt itchy. “I don’t like saying no.”
He sighed. “If people don’t like you because you don’t do things for them, they’re not good to have in your life.”
“It’s not about that.”
“Oh, Valerie.” Penny came back around the corner with her hand on her hip. “Something occurred to me at your lovely little birthday celebration. It’s currently July.”
Valerie didn’t quite compute, but this was undoubtedly true. “It is.”
Beside her, Nico had stiffened, which meant that he had figured out whatever the significance of that July mention was. She began to get nervous.
“I was thinking how odd that is. Isn’t your birthday in the spring?”
Shit. It came clear in a flash of blinding realization.
If Yvette got pregnant in the summer, Penny was right.
It should not have been Rogette/Valerie’s birthday this month, which meant she needed an answer as to why they were celebrating.
Strangely, Erica’s last birthday, a fancy brunch hosted for all her friends at the Windsor Arms, came into her mind to provide a hopefully plausible excuse.
“It’s not my birthday,” she said, looking as innocent as possible, and not at all like a woman lying through her teeth. “I actually call it Valerie Day.”
“Sorry?” Penny stared at her.
“Valerie Day,” Valerie repeated, getting into it as Nico nodded supportively beside her. “My actual birthday was close to my stepsister’s and I wanted to make sure we both had a special day. I love summer, so I picked July to celebrate as an unofficial birthday. It’s tradition now.”