Chapter 26 Alessa
Alessa
I’m fucking pissed.
When I found out Ryder took off with Leo, I panicked. Ryder barely speaks to Leo. Now he’s taking him on jobs? Not that I think Ryder will do anything to hurt Leo, but he might try to scare him off, and I can’t handle that.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to reign in my temper. Ryder and Leo are sitting on the couch in the living room while I relentlessly pace.
“Baby?” Leo says gently, and I hold up a hand to stop him. I just need to get my tongue under control before I kill Ryder.
I swing my eyes to Ryder, and he’s leaning back on the couch with his arms over the top, looking way too relaxed, but I can see how he’s warily staring at me.
“Did I miss it?” Gage says, running into the living room. He takes in the scene before him and flops down in the chair, ready for the show. He was just as worried that Ryder took Leo with him, and now he’s ready for me to chew Ryder out.
“Let me get this right,” I start, still pacing.
“You woke up this morning, got a call from Squid that I didn’t know about.
” I stop and move my eyes back to Ryder.
“Then you decide to take Leo into Concrete Row without telling me. Then you get him involved in a fucking drive-by!” My voice starts rising by the end.
I’m so keyed up with anxiety over Leo or Ryder getting hurt that I’m about to fall right off the edge.
“And if that’s not enough, you go looking for the guys who already fucking shot at you, and Leo has to save your sorry ass. ”
“Wait. What?” Gage asks, sitting up in his chair. I forgot he missed that part.
“Leo saved my ass,” Ryder repeats, looking at Gage. “Some dude was trying to get the drop on me, and Leo took them out.” He turns dark eyes on me. “Il mio sole…”
“No,” I say, shaking my head, “Don’t il mio sole me and try to sweet talk your way out of this, Ryder. You took him without telling me where you were going. Do you know how fucking worried I’ve been since neither of you answered your damn phone?”
“Baby, they were in the car. I’m fine. Ryder’s fine,” Leo says, sitting up on the couch. What? Are they blood bonded now, taking up for each other?
“You just fucking killed someone, Leo!” I yell and watch Leo wince. I take a breath to pull myself back together. “I need a minute.”
I hold a hand up when Ryder and Leo open their mouths before walking out of the room.
I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.
I want Ryder and Leo to bond, and I knew there would come a time when Leo has to defend himself.
But I was in meltdown mode when they wouldn’t answer the phone.
I couldn’t get my heart rate to return to normal, I knew I was overreacting, but I was so damn scared.
I walk out onto the patio and take several calming breaths. Why the hell couldn’t he have just told me? Would I have been okay with it, then?
Probably not.
I hear the door open behind me and whirl around, expecting Ryder, but Dex walks out, shutting the door softly behind him. He nods his head to the table, and I follow him, sitting in front of him.
“I know this is hard, Baby girl, and I’m not excusing what Ryder did.” He crosses his arms on the table. “But you wanted Leo to fit in and be a part of us.”
“I know,” I say miserably. “He killed someone today, Dex.”
“We all have,” he says simply. “Leo is a big boy. I think he can handle it.”
“I never wanted this for him,” I whisper.
“No one wanted this for any of us. This life sucks sometimes, Les, but he doesn’t need you to protect him. You need to start letting him make up his mind.” He squeezes my hand quickly, surprising me. “He saved Ryder today, and that’s got to give him some credit.”
I bark a laugh. “I’m actually surprised he did.”
“Leo is just like the rest of us, Baby girl,” he says softly. “We will never do anything that will hurt you, even if that means saving the one we hate the most.”
I understand what he’s saying and need to figure out how to handle this.
If I yell at Ryder for taking off with him, it will cause him to freeze Leo out again.
I just need to figure out why Ryder took him.
Sure, it seemed like a simple job, but Ryder knows how quickly those jobs can turn into shit. Just like today.
“I need to talk to Ryder,” I say with a sigh.
Dex nods and stands up. “I’ll get him.”
He disappears into the house, and I lean back in the chair, trying to get my thoughts together. The door opens, and I hear the chair scrape against the patio. I lift my head and watch Ryder sit down, still giving me that wary look he was giving me inside.
“You undermined me today. One, for not telling me about Squid, and two, for taking Leo without telling me,” I say as calmly as I can. “Why did you take him today?”
“You said you wanted him involved, Les. So I fucking involved him.”
I sit up and cross my arms on the table, mirroring his pose. “Is that all, or did you have another reason?”
He raises an eyebrow. “What are you asking?”
“Did you take him to scare him off?”
He shrugs. “No. I took him because I knew you wouldn’t.”
“I’ve taken him on jobs.”
“Yeah. The ones you went on so you could watch him. You can’t protect him forever, and he needs to man the fuck up.”
“You realize he’s been involved in this life for a year, and up until a couple of days ago, he’s never even been on a fucking job?
” I say, getting pissed again. “He took a life for you today, and I say that makes him pretty fucking manly.” I push back from the table and storm back into the house with Ryder right on my heels.
I hit the doorway to the living room before he grabs my arm, spinning me to face him. “You don’t get to just walk away in the middle of a conversation.”
I raise both brows. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Ryder says, stepping into my space and still holding my arm. “You said we need to work shit out from now on. So, let’s work it out.”
I jerk my arm away, aware of Leo and Gage sitting behind us. “Fine. You were careless today. You went into a job blind and took someone to go down with you.”
“I go on jobs alone all the time. The only reason you’re fucking mad is that I had Leo with me. What about me, Les? Were you worried about me?”
“You can handle yourself!” I yell. Did he just insinuate that I don’t care about his safety?
“So can Leo. Look at him, Il mio sole. Does he look like someone that’s worried about what fucking happened today?”
I huff and turn around. Leo is sitting there beside Gage, looking cool as a cucumber.
“I’m fine, Baby,” Leo says, standing up and walking toward me. “It was a shock at first, and I might have freaked out in the car a little,” he says with a chuckle. “But Ryder talked me down.”
I throw my hands in the air. “So, you guys are just best friends now?”
They both snort at the same time. “No. But we can work together,” Ryder answers, and I turn back to him. “You just have to let that happen.”
“You can’t go off without telling me,” I say, looking between them. “I thought something bad had happened to both of you, and I can’t handle that.”
“We’re sorry for worrying you. We will let you know from now on, but you have to let me make up my own mind.
You can’t control everything I do.” Leo walks up in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my forehead.
“I want to be a part of your life, and that’s what I’m going to do.
” I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him to me.
I feel Ryder step up behind me, moving my hair to the side and kissing my neck. “You can’t do everything yourself. That’s what you have us for. Let us help you, Il mio sole.”
“I’ll try,” I whisper into Leo’s chest. I really will, but I’m not used to giving up control, and that’s what they’re asking me to do.
“That’s all we can ask,” Leo says, and I look up into his blue-green eyes. He lays his lips on mine, giving me a tender kiss before spinning me toward Ryder. Ryder kisses me the same way, and I know they are showing me they can work together in more ways than one.
“You guys!” Gage exclaims, running over and wrapping his arms around all of us.
We all laugh, and just like that, the tension breaks. Am I still upset Ryder left without telling me? Yes. But I know they’re right.I need to give up some control, or I’ll spread myself too thin.
I need to learn to lean on my guys.
“The foster’s names are Ginger and Markus Wright. They don’t live far from where you found the boys,” Gerald tells me. I came to my office after fixing things with Ryder and Leo, and Gerald called shortly after. “What’s the play, Lessie?”
I smile at their old nickname; only Gerald and Boone call me Lessie.
“I don’t know. I need to see how many kids they have in the house.
” Holden sticks his head through my office door, and I wave him in to sit in the empty chair, memories of last night slamming into me.
If his red face is any indication, he’s thinking about it too.
My heart broke in two when he told me what happened to him, but he somehow seems better today after telling me. “How are Lucas and Landon?”
Gerald chuckles. “They settled in just fine.”
Coming from a rundown foster home and the streets to a house like Gerald and Boone’s is probably a dream come true. Even though they don’t do much for me anymore, I still ensure they are well taken care of for everything they did for my dad. “Are you sure you don’t mind them there?”
“Honestly, Lessie, if you wanted, they could stay here until they turn eighteen, and they can decide what they want to do. They’re good kids in a bad situation.”
My heart melts. “Thank you.”
“No thanks needed. Take care of your other business. Come see us soon.”
I promise I will and then end the call.
“Hey,” I say with a smile toward Holden.
“Hey, Bright eyes,” he greets with a smile that seems bigger and brighter today.