Chapter 1
Ryder
“Slow down, Holden,” I groan.
“No.”
“Fuck, bello. Stop,” I say, pulling away.
“What the fuck?” he explodes. “I wasn’t done.”
I gently grab his hands and unstrap his boxing gloves after I lay the boxing pads down. “Yes. You are,” I insist. “You’re going too hard.”
He gives me a hard stare before storming from the gym. Holden is a ticking time bomb the longer we go without finding Les. We’ve exhausted every possible lead, which led back to the same thing. Les is gone, and we have no idea where she is.
“Hey, man,” Dex greets, walking into the gym. I nod my head in greeting and start cleaning up the equipment. Dex scoops up the boxing pads and tosses them onto the rest of them. “Any better?”
I shake my head in answer. Holden snaps at everyone; we have to beg him to eat; he spends every waking moment tracking whatever he can and trains like a demon in the gym.
Nothing we say or do helps the situation.
He’s taking it personally that he can’t find Les; he feels like he’s failing her.
We’re all losing our minds trying to find Les, and the only solid lead we have is that she’s with Zane.
We scoured every camera we could find, and when they dumped the phones, it was like they had just disappeared. No sign of anything until two weeks ago when we found Zane’s truck burning at one of our vacant properties.
Dex and I finish cleaning up the gym, and I know I need to find Holden to make sure he ate breakfast so we can start our search again. It’s the same thing we’ve done every day for the past six fucking weeks.
We narrowed it down to that it wasn’t Viktor because he wasn’t even in the country when it happened, and we’ve been watching his every move since then.
Aldo has kept us in the loop about Nina if Nina herself isn’t calling for updates on Les.
Alexey and Dmitri stepped up big time, helping in the search and dumping resources to help us find her.
Marcella calls nonstop, and her sons, Giovanni and Vincenzo, come with us sometimes when we follow leads.
We have Ghost and the Vipers, the gang Les owns, on high alert, and Ghost proves himself to be very useful when trying to get information out of people. Squid with the Disciples has also helped turn every city upside down when we get a lead.
We have everyone looking, and anyone Les has ever had good contact with has jumped at the chance to help her.
We walk into the kitchen, and Micah is at the stove cooking breakfast like he does every day for every meal. He makes sure we eat so we can continue the search for his niece. Every day it’s getting harder and harder to believe she’s still alive.
“Sir,” Shawna, Les’ primary house staff, says in greeting when she walks around the corner. “Detective Jay Hoover is here to see you.”
“What the fuck?” Micah says, whirling around from the stove. “Again?”
“Thank you, Shawna. I’ll meet him in the living room,” I say softly.
“Yes, sir,” she says quietly, disappearing from the room.
I give Micah the evil eye for scaring her on the way out of the room. When I walk into the living room, he’s sitting on the loveseat like he owns the damn place.
“What do you want?” I ask while flopping down in one of the chairs. There’s no need for pleasantries; he knows I hate him here.
He narrows his eyes. “I was just seeing if you heard anything.”
“Don’t act like you give a fuck about her.” I sit up in the chair, leveling him with a glare.
This piece of shit started showing up two days after Les disappeared, saying they opened an investigation against Zane. Somehow word spread quickly that they were missing together. The police department Zane works for wasn’t too happy when they realized that.
“I’m not the bad guy here. Just because the department is looking for Zane doesn’t mean I’m not looking for her too.”
“Fuck off,” I growl.
Everything about him rubs me the wrong way.
He dresses more for a magazine cover than a goddamn detective.
He screams money even though Holden’s investigation into him showed daddy supposedly cut him off when he became a cop.
He asks probing questions about us that aren’t any of his fucking business, including questions about Les.
All with the excuse that it’s to help him find her.
“I know you guys are looking for her. Let me help you,” he says, and it’s almost believable that he cares.
“We don’t need your help,” I reply and stand up. “You can go.” I jerk my head for him to follow me, and he does reluctantly. I yank the front door open. “Don’t fucking come back.”
He narrows his eyes again. “You forget who I work for?”
“I don’t give a fuck who you work for,” I say and get in his space. “You forget who I am?”
“Is that a threat?”
“That’s a fucking promise. Leave. Now.”
He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, then snaps it closed. He turns on his heel and walks out the front door; I slam it behind him.
He’s only interested in finding Zane, and ever since they caught wind that Zane’s truck was on fire on one of Les’ properties, he won’t go away.
“What did he want?” Dex asks when I slide onto the stool at the island beside him.
“Same shit,” I reply, rubbing my temples.
“Something is off about him,” Micah says, laying plates on the island.
I snort. “Yeah. He’s a fucking cop. I’m going to tell Mani to quit letting him through.”
“Is that a good idea? You remember what happened last time you did that,” Dex throws in.
I remember. The asshole just followed us to wherever we were going. He’s the lead detective on the case since he’s Zane’s partner, so everywhere we turn, he’s right there.
“We could just kill him,” Micah shrugs. “Make our lives easier.”
“We’re in enough shit where they found Gage in a stolen car,” I reply and swallow back emotion thinking about that day. “I need to find Holden.”
Micah jerks his head toward the back of the house. “He’s in his office.”
I slide off the stool and head back that way. I pause outside the door to get my temper in check before entering. It’s the same argument every day, and it’s starting to wear on my nerves. I don’t want to do anything to hurt him by raising my voice, so I try to be patient.
I twist the knob and walk in, finding him behind his computer, like always.
“Bello,” I say gently, “come get some food.”
“I’m not hungry,” he replies, not even looking up from his rapid tapping on the keyboard.
I flop down on the couch in his office, entirely at a loss on what to do. Memories from when Holden and I had Les in this office assault me. I swear, every time I walk anywhere in this house, I can smell her vanilla scent like she’s standing right there.
We have to find her. I don’t know how long I can hold it together for these guys. My heart feels like it’s in a million pieces, and my stomach is constantly tied in fucking knots.
“What if we can’t find her?” Holden whispers, finally looking up. He’s asked that question so many times I lost count, but it’s the same thing that runs through my head.
“Come here,” I tell him, patting the couch beside me.
Surprisingly, he gets up and flops beside me. I place my hand on his thigh in comfort. “We’ll find her,” I tell him, just like I’ve told him every time he’s asked. I don’t even know if it’s true or not.
“After everything with Gage,” he stops whatever he’s going to say and swallows, “I can’t lose her.”
I wrap my arm around his shoulders and pull him to my side. “I know. I can’t either.”
We lapse into silence, Holden tucked in tight to my side, both of us lost to the thought of losing Les for good. None of us will be able to handle that, ever. Les is the glue that holds us all together. Holden and I have each other, but even we can admit it isn’t enough. We need her.
My phone starts buzzing in my pocket with a call, and I’m half tempted to ignore it. Thinking it might be good news, I dig it out without letting Holden go.
I slide to answer. “Yeah?”
“Your detective friend is parked outside my pool hall,” Ghost says when I answer.
“Fuck. He was just here,” I sigh. “You want me to ride down?”
“Nah,” Ghost answers, “I just thought you’d want to know. Squid said he was his way yesterday.”
That’s one good thing that came out of this, at least. Ghost and Squid have been working together to find Les, which allied the Vipers and the Disciples.
It gave them both added numbers if shit happened to go wrong.
Ghost cleaned over half of the Vipers out after Xander’s untimely passing, thanks to Les, and recruited more.
He has a solid crew now that is damn good.
“He’s up to something more than what he’s saying,” I muse. “We just need to figure out what.”
“He gives me the fucking creeps,” Ghost chuckles. “Alright, man. I’ll let you go.”
“Let me know if you need me.”
“Will do,” Ghost replies and hangs up.
I go to say something to Holden and realize he’s fallen asleep against me. Not wanting to disturb him, I kick my boots off and put my feet on the coffee table, rearranging him onto my chest so he’s more comfortable.
He’ll fall asleep in my bed at night, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, he’s gone. I always find him in his office digging through anything we’ve discovered over the past six weeks, hoping to find something he missed.
I’m not going to risk waking him now.