Chapter 3
Alessa
“Il mio sole,” Ryder whispers, “I need you to fight.”
“I can’t fight anymore,” I cry, tears streaming down my face. “I don’t have any fight left!”
“You have to, Baby girl,” Dex says, stepping beside me and rubbing his tattooed knuckles down my cheek. “Come back to us.”
I shake my head miserably. “There won’t be anything of me left. You need to move on.”
“Never, Bright eyes,” Holden says forcefully with his newly found courage. “We won’t ever leave you.”
“We’re looking for you, Baby,” Leo says. “Don’t give up on us.”
Hearing Zane shift snaps me back to reality.
I let Zane’s voice lull me into a peaceful place, just like it always did.
Sometimes I would daydream about our time together, or I would conjure up my guys.
I never saw Gage’s beautiful face in these dreams. Jay beat it into my head every day that Gage is dead; this world should not be able to keep spinning without Gage.
The day we got here, and they took Zane from our holding room, I didn’t see him again for a while.
Then one day, they shoved him back into this room and tied him back to that pole.
He told me something about pneumothorax and a chest tube when we were alone.
They would come in once a day after that and shove him full of antibiotics, telling him he needed his strength for what was to come.
Neither of us figured out what would come until it was too late.
It didn’t take long for us to figure out Jay was the sick fuck stalking me.
He waited until Zane was back in our holding cell to take advantage of me.
He came in, jerked the curtain closed, chained me to the bed, and told me how good he would make me feel. All the while, Zane had to listen.
I fought and threatened, and Zane yelled and threatened, but it was useless.
When he was done, he jerked the curtain open, leaving me to stare into Zane’s eyes.
I’ll never forget the look on Zane’s face.
Tears were streaking down his face, and his whiskey-colored eyes were tortured.
That repeated daily until I didn’t have any fight left in me.
It was better to hope he would eventually get sick of my silence and kill me.
Every time he comes in, he takes a little piece of my soul; I don’t think I have much left.
When they took me away last night, it didn’t surprise me. It was part of the routine. They would shove me into a bathroom with Jay. He would chain me in the shower to clean me up.
Yesterday something changed.
He still washed me, but he chained me to another softer bed in a room full of windows.
He said that’s what I can have if I just gave in and accepted that we are meant to be together.
When I didn’t answer him, he got pissed off.
He roughly rolled me to my stomach, ripped my nightgown open, and carved something into my back. It’s where the bandage came from.
When he got up this morning, he was sweet, tended to the wound, then said he had stuff to take care of today before disappearing. That was worse than when he was rough with me.
Zane shifts again, making me finally look up. He has his head back against the pole, and he’s just staring at me.
I want to talk to him and give him what he wants.
I can’t, though. If I let myself feel what’s going on, I’ll get sucked into being thirteen again.
That isn’t a place I can go to and come back from if we ever get out of here.
I need to accept this is my reality. I need to accept that Gage is dead.
I need to admit that I’ll never get to hug Ryder again, be wrapped in Dex’s arms, run my fingers through Holden’s curly hair, or look into Leo’s blue-green eyes.
I need to accept I’ll never get to experience Zane’s love ever again.
One by one, their faces flash behind my eyes, trying to lend me strength. I just don’t know how much I have left. Micah’s face pops up, causing tears to spring into my eyes. He has to be a fucking mess right now.
“Where were you just now, Precious?” I jerk back, and Jay is standing right in my face with a raised brow.
I hate that damn nickname. How long has he been standing there?
He shakes his head, sitting the bags he’s holding down.
“Still not talking to me, huh? You ever think that if you would, this would be so much better for you?”
I shake my head again because I know that’s bullshit. He wants me all to himself, and the only way I’m getting out of here is to confess my love for him.
“Why the fuck are you doing this, Jay?” Zane asks for the hundredth time.
“She needs to realize she’s mine,” Jay answers the same way he always does. “You were a complication,” he cuts his eyes to Zane. “One I plan to take care of.” Zane doesn’t even respond because he already knows the answer to that question. One way or the other, Zane is going to die.
“Haven’t you figured it out? I took care of the crazy one, and I have you.
One by one, I will take away everything she’s ever loved.
Or thought she did,” Jay rants, every word taking him one step closer to Zane.
The sentence ends with a swift kick to Zane’s kidney.
“She doesn’t love them like she’ll love me. ”
“You’re a fucking psychopath,” Zane groans, then laughs. “How did I never see it before?”
“You always had a big fucking ego, strutting around like you own the goddamn place. Too bad you spilled your obsession for her, or I would have left you alone.” Jay laughs like he told the funniest joke.
Zane’s leg sweeps out, knocking Jay’s feet from under him, making him hit the floor with a thud. “Jesus Christ. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Zane says harshly.
What the hell is he doing?
Jay rolls smoothly to his feet, seething. His fist snaps forward, hitting Zane right in the nose. I can hear the bones crunch under Jay’s knuckles, blood pouring down Zane’s face.
“You hit like a bitch,” Zane taunts, spitting blood all over Jay’s jeans.
Jay starts walking away. “All you’ve done is make it harder on her.”
“Wait! Fuck. Take it out on me. Leave her alone!” Zane says when Jay gets to the door. It slams behind him, and Zane drops his head. “Fuck, Les. I’m so sorry.”
It doesn’t matter how much harder he makes it on me.
I look down at the food bag at my feet and almost gag at the smell.
I don’t want to eat any time Jay comes in here to force-feed me by hand.
The first couple of times he tried, I spit it right back in his face.
He would calmly wipe it off, leave the room, and send one of his guys to take over.
I realized pretty fast it was just easier to give in to Jay.
“Alessa,” Zane calls out. “Look at me, please.” I turn my eyes to him, looking at the wounds on his chest and the blood pouring from his nose.
They came in last night and carved his pecs, cutting right through the scars already there from every other time, all because he told me he loved me.
“Talk to me. Say something,” he begs, his voice cracking on the last word.
Does he not realize I don’t have it in me to talk? I don’t even know if my voice works anymore; the only time I hear my voice is in my dreams.
The door bangs open, and I don’t even look up.
I know what’s about to happen because we pissed Jay off.
The chains go slack, and I slam onto my knees on the dirty rough concrete floor.
I try to hold in the noises that try to escape.
It seems to make Zane rage harder, and I don’t want him to hurt any more than I know he already does.
A whimper escapes anyway, causing a roar of rage to come from Zane.
“MOTHERFUCKER!” Zane yells, jerking against his bonds. “Take it out on me! Goddamnit! Take it out on me!”
“Shut up,” the guy growls behind his mask, jerking me to my feet by my hair.
He unhooks the chain from the metal cuffs on my wrists and feet.
I figured he would shove me to the bed, but he pushes me to the door.
I lose my footing on my weak legs and slam face-first onto the ground.
He jerks me to my feet again by my chained arms, dragging me behind him.
“FIGHT, ALESSA! FUCKING FIGHT!” Zane yells but is cut off when the door slams behind us.
I won’t fight because even if I can get out past all these guys, they’ll kill Zane out of spite.
He drags me down the dimly lit hallway we go through every day. “Come the fuck on,” he barks, grabbing ahold of my hair again to drag me with him. Jay doesn’t seem to care that they manhandle me all over the place. He told me it would teach me to be obedient for him.
Instead of taking the immediate right through the conservatory to that weird bedroom where Jay showers me, he continues to pull me forward through another door.
I peek at my surroundings and realize we’re in a house. Pictures are hanging on the wall, nicely decorated, and expensive furnishings are sitting around. With a torture room tucked in the belly of it, like mine.
He shoves me through a set of double doors into a room full of monitors where Jay is sitting staring at all of them. The guy pushes me into a chair, hooking a chain to my cuffs and stepping back to lean against the wall when he’s done, leaving me with Jay.
“I think we should do this a different way,” Jay says, clicking buttons on the mouse.
I don’t want to even look at what he’s trying to show me, so I keep my eyes on my lap.
“I’m going to give you something you want, and you’re going to give me something I want.
” What could he possibly offer me right now besides our freedom?
Or even just Zane’s freedom? “Look at the screen.” I shake my head because I’m not playing these damn games.
“Look at the screen!” He grabs my hair and jerks my head up.