Chapter 7 Alessa
Alessa
Ican’t believe I’m staring into Gage’s beautiful blue eyes.
I can’t stop touching his face, reminding myself that this is real.
I was convinced Gage was lost to this world and lost to me.
But here he is, looking at me the same way I’m looking at him.
Like neither of us can believe we are looking at each other.
“Pretty girl,” he breathes and pulls me back to his chest. He squeezes one last time when the rest of the guys surround me.
“Il mio sole,” Ryder chokes out when I wrap my arms around his neck. I feel someone step up behind me and instantly know that scent.
“Holden. Ryder,” I cry. I can’t believe I’m finally back in their arms.
“Baby girl,” Dex rumbles and pulls me to him when Ryder and Holden let go.
“Dex,” I breathe, drawing strength from his big arms.
Leo’s next, and he squeezes me just as tight “Baby. Fuck. I can’t believe I’m holding you right now.”
“Me either,” I answer honestly.
“Give me my niece.” I jerk away from Leo at the sound of Micah’s voice and launch myself into his arms.
He wraps them around me, big heaving sobs wracking our chests. “I thought you were dead,” he chokes out. “When we got to that house, you weren’t there…”
“I’m here,” I cut him off. “I’m right here.” I pull back and look into his eyes. “I’m here,” I repeat.
“We need to get you home. Docs waiting,” Micah says, wiping his cheeks roughly.
I go to agree and freeze. I slowly turn back to look at Zane, and Ghost is just finishing patching his chest. Zane smiles sadly. “Go. I need to settle up with the department.”
I walk over, and he stands when I get there. “Thank you,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Don’t thank me. I would have done it no matter what,” he whispers, and I feel we’re saying goodbye. I love my guys and couldn’t wait to go home to be with them. But where does this leave Zane and me?
“You need to be careful,” Ryder says when I pull away from Zane. “The department has been on our ass. They think you guys ran off together.”
Zane nods. “I get it.”
Ryder surprises all of us when he jerks Zane into a hug, thumping him on his back before letting him go. “Thanks.”
Zane nods once before turning to me. “Go home, Les.”
“What about you?” I ask, starting to tear up again.
“I’ll be fine,” he answers with a smile. “Go home,” he repeats.
“I’ll take him where he needs to go,” Ghost promises.
Ryder grabs my hand when I finally nod, tucking me into his body. I clutch at his shirt, grateful that he’s here.
I couldn’t be more grateful that I’m alive, Gage is alive, and my guys are all here.
But why do I feel so lost now that they’re taking me away from Zane?
“You will surrender to me, Precious,” Jay whispers as he thrusts inside me.
I shake my head because there is no fucking way. I try to sink into that headspace that takes me away from what’s happening, but it won’t come. He’s never done this to me before.
“Try to shut me out all you want. You. Are. Mine,” he growls in my ear, getting rougher, “They’re all dead. You have no one left but me.”
He moves to the side and points over his shoulder. I open my eyes and look, it’s like a magnet is dragging my eyes, and I can’t fight it. Zane is tied to the pole, but there’s a bullet hole between his eyes. His very dead eyes.
“NO!”I cry, trying to escape Jay, but he has all my limbs tied to the bed.
“You’re mine,” he repeats with a maniacal laugh. “You have no one.”
“NO! NO! NO!”
“…Les! Wake up!”
“You have no one,” Jay repeats, never slowing down. It hurts so bad; my heart is breaking into a million pieces. The loss of Zane is crushing me under its weight.
“Fuck. Baby girl! Wake up!”
Jay is shaking my shoulders now, trying to get me to stop crying. “They’re all dead.”
“NO!” I scream, sitting straight up, gasping for breath.
“It’s not real.” I jerk my head to that voice and look into Dex’s grey eyes. I launch myself into his arms, sobbing into his shirt. “It’s not real,” he repeats, running hands over my back.
My cries eventually turn into hiccups after what feels like forever; the whole time, Dex just offers his comfort.
When we finally got back to the house, well after four a.m., Doc patched up the rest of my wounds, checked my feet that Zane patched up, checked my scars, and looked at the one on my back.
That’s when I discovered Jay carved his name into my back when he had me in that weird bedroom.
I went through every emotion after that, and I shut down.
I couldn’t take the torrent of emotions pouring through me anymore.
I have numerous scars along with fresh wounds littering my body from where Jay would torture me, saying he was teaching me obedience.
Doc took care of those and gave me several pills and different shots for anything he could think of.
I wouldn’t let the guys into the room while Doc examined me because I didn’t want them to see me like this or hear what I needed to tell him.
The most important question was Doc asking if Jay raped me.
The answer to that was no. He said I didn’t deserve him until I fully submitted to him, but that didn’t stop him from touching me.
After Doc was done, I showered until my skin was red and raw, put on the baggiest clothes I could find, and they were waiting right outside of the door when I was done.
The last thing I remember is sitting in the living room and them telling me how long I’ve been gone and me telling them what happened.
Most of it, anyway. I know I need to tell them, but I need time to process everything first.
I feel the bed dip behind me and look over my shoulder. Ryder spoons in behind me, squashing me between him and Dex. I finally let my muscles relax and sink into the bed against Dex’s chest.
“How long have I been asleep?” I ask, noticing the light outside.
“A couple of hours,” Ryder answers, scooting closer. “Nightmare?” he asks softly.
I nod my head, my eyes filling with tears. I can’t stop fucking crying. I’ve dug deep within myself, trying to find the ice queen the guys joke about, but she’s gone.
“We got you, Baby girl,” Dex rumbles, running his tattooed hand over my arm on his stomach.
“I missed you guys so damn much.” I missed all of them.
I still can’t believe Gage is alive, and I keep expecting to wake up and find myself still in that room with Zane.
The thought of Zane brings a wave of guilt because I miss him too, even though I’m surrounded by the guys I love.
He’s the only person I had for six weeks, and even though he went through hell too, he stayed strong for me.
“We missed you too,” Ryder says brokenly. “We’re here now.”
“I know,” I whisper, grabbing his hand from my hip to pull it into mine on Dex’s stomach.
I cuddle closer between them and try to sleep, but every time I shut my eyes, I see Jay’s face or those masks the other guys were wearing. After the fifth time of trying, I sigh. There’s no way I can sleep right now.
“What’s the matter?” Dex asks after a minute.
“I can’t shut my eyes without seeing his face,” I answer honestly. I’ve already made up my mind that I’m not going to hide anything from them. I’ll eventually tell them everything that happened, but I can’t get my mouth to say the words.
“We’ll get this motherfucker, Il mio sole.”I know they will. They will bring down this whole city until they find him.
I give up on sleep and reluctantly sit up in bed. “I’m going to go downstairs.”
Dex sits up and kisses my forehead. “We’ll meet you down there.”
Ryder does the same and follows Dex from the room.
There’s so much I still need to find out about. I must have fallen asleep before I could find out everything.
After I use the bathroom, I make my way downstairs and find them all in the living room. Micah gets up and strides towards me, jerking me into his arms. “It’s so good to see you walk around that corner, shithead.”
I smile despite myself at that nickname. “It’s good to see your face too.”
He steps back, and I go straight to Gage, sliding onto the chaise between him and Leo. I need constant reminders that he’s here.
“Hey, Pretty girl,” he greets, tucking me into his side and kissing me on my head.
“Tell me what I missed,” I say to the room.
One by one, they fill me in on Nina loving life in New York, Leo’s mom still with Rocco because Viktor is still a threat, them keeping tabs on Viktor, Alexey, and Dmitri moving out, Playboy getting clean and stepping up looking for Zane and me, Lucas and Landon being homeschooled by Gerald and Boone, the alliance between Ghost and Squid, and then Gage tells me about what happened after he was shot.
“Then these fuckers shipped me off to Cabo,” he finishes. “Can you believe that shit?”
“If I were here, I would have done the same,” I tell him, and he rolls his eyes. “You could have died, Gage. No one could live with that.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him,” Leo says, squeezing my knee. “He won’t listen to me.”
“That’s because you shove it down my throat,” Gage argues, looking around me at Leo.
“Because you’re fucking hardheaded,” Leo says with a sickly-sweet smile aimed at Gage.
I see an apparent old argument brewing between them, so I turn to face Gage.
“We want you here with us. The thought of you not being here crushed me. There is no life without you in it.” I lay my hand over his heart and soak in that it’s beating healthy and strong.
“Let him worry about you. Let us worry about you.”
He slowly nods in agreement, with tears filling his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pretty girl. I let them get the drop on us.”
“No. You didn’t. This isn’t on you, so wipe that from your head. I didn’t take the threat of him seriously enough. Now I will,” I tell him.
“We have people out looking for him, and Holden is trying to track him down,” Dex says. “We will get him.”
“He’s got money,” Ryder adds. “He’ll try to skip the country, so Holden froze his accounts.”