Chapter 33 Holden
Holden
Waking up the following day, I try to stretch my sore muscles and hit a wall of bodies.
Looking to one side, Les is tucked close beside me with Zane pressed against her back with his arm stretched across her, laying on my stomach.
On the other side, Ryder has one arm over my head, with his body as close as possible.
Soaking it in that they stayed with me all night, I try to remember what happened yesterday.
The rest of them left to take care of Gage’s dad, but I decided to work on the thousands of things I had going on.
I found something, so I ran into the kitchen to get my phone, where I accidentally left it, to call Les.
That’s the last thing I remember until I woke up on the back lawn looking into the tear-filled eyes of Zane, Ryder, and Les.
When Ryder told me yesterday that Zane saved my life, I didn’t know what to feel.
I had a pulse, but I wasn’t breathing, and Zane’s history as a first responder kicked in.
I know I have a crush on Zane; it’s hard not to.
As soon as he felt comfortable around us, he started picking up on things we needed that we didn’t even know about, just like he did with Ryder.
I’m not sure exactly what happened except for what I saw in the basement of Ryder submitting to Zane.
After we realized what was happening, I quietly led everyone from the room so Zane could do what he needed to help Ryder.
I’ve never seen Ryder so lost, and those noises he was making were breaking my fucking heart.
Something shifted between us after what happened in Ryder’s room; it shifted with all of us.
We no longer have separate relationships between all of us; we are together as one.
Which I feel is how it was always supposed to be.
Movement catches my eye, and I look over to lock eyes with Zane. He lays his hand on top of mine on my stomach, squeezing. I need to get up to take care of business, but I don’t want to wake Les and Ryder. “I have to piss,” I mouth, and he breathes a laugh.
Rolling from the bed to his feet, he gently scoots Les back, and I move Ryder’s arm. I sit up with Zane’s help and scoot off the edge of the bed. I look back to make sure they’re still asleep and watch Ryder reach an arm out, pulling Les to him.
Smiling, I follow Zane from the room. “Bathrooms down that way,” he says, pointing. “I’m going to see if we have anything to make for breakfast.” He leans in, kissing my lips softly. “I’m glad you’re still here, Sweet boy,” he says gruffly before walking away.
He called me that last night, and even though it made me happy as hell, I figured it was a one-time thing. I’m more than glad it’s not.
I take care of business and follow the sounds of cabinets opening and closing, finding Zane in the kitchen. I slide onto the little island’s stool and watch him work.
We can’t get anything from the house; none of us have extra clothes, so he’s in nothing but tight black boxer briefs. I watch the muscles in his back shift and flex as he moves, then find myself staring at his ass in those briefs.
“What are you looking at?” Gage whispers, making me jump out of my damn skin. I hear Zane chuckle. Does he know I’m sitting here checking him out?
I refuse to be embarrassed by that. “Zane’s ass,” I answer honestly, making Gage laugh.
Gage and Leo slide onto stools on either side of me. “I mean, it’s not Ryder’s ass, but it’s still fucking nice,” Gage says, making us laugh again.
Zane turns to look over his shoulder. “I can’t even argue with that,” he says before turning around to fix breakfast while we watch him.
Gage and Leo bend their heads closer to mine. “Who’s going to be the first to tap that ass?” Gage whispers, and I hold in a laugh.
“Zane doesn’t give me bottom vibes,” Leo whispers back.
“Neither did Ryder,” I add.
“My new goal is Dex,” Gage whispers again. “Could you imagine being dominated by both those fuckers?” Gage bites his fist, and I can’t stop the laugh from busting out.
Gage sinking onto my cock flashes through my mind. The look on his face scared me at first because I could tell he was in pain. I was about to tell him to move because I didn’t want him to hurt when he started trembling and sank the rest of the way, taking all of me.
“Why’s your face so red?” Leo whispers.
I jerk my face to him. “It’s not,” I lie. I can tell it’s burning.
“Thinking about being dominated by Zane?” Gage says loudly, waggling his eyebrows. I know he’s trying to get a rise out of me, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction for once.
“I was thinking about fucking you,” I tell him, looking him dead in the eye.
Zane chokes on a laugh. “Maybe I should rethink the sweet boy nickname.”
“Don’t,” I say too fast, embarrassing myself all over again. “I like it,” I say quietly.
Zane turns around again. “You’ll always be my sweet boy,” he assures me with a smile. “Just a little dirty sometimes,” he adds when he turns around.
I shake my head with a laugh. I never thought I would have the confidence to have sex with Les, much less openly talk about what happened in this house. But these guys make it easy.
“Oh, food,” Les exclaims, making us turn toward her. She’s perched on Dex’s back, swamped in one of our shirts. He walks over, parks her ass on the counter beside Zane where he’s cooking, then leans back between her thighs.
“No fair,” Gage grumbles. “You’re covered up, and we’re all half naked.”
“I like it,” Les quips.
“You would,” Zane says, pecking her lips. “What’s the plan for today?”
“I need to meet with Micah. I’ll send him on a shopping trip for clothes that I’m sure he’ll love,” she replies with an evil smile.
“That asshole is going to put us in some bullshit,” Gage laughs.
“Probably,” Les shrugs. “We need to find out who the mole is.”
I feel something banging on the back of my brain when she mentions a mole. Why can’t I fucking remember?
“How do you plan on doing that, Baby girl?”
“Interrogation, I guess. It’s the best I’ve got.” She turns to Zane. “We do have a cop at our disposal.”
“Ex-cop,” he reminds her, pointing a spatula at her. “I can do whatever you need, Beautiful.”
Ryder strides into the room in just his boxers, walks straight up against Dex, and slants his mouth over Les’.
“Sure. I’m not fucking standing here or anything,” Dex grumbles when Ryder steps back.
Ryder grins. “You were in the way.” Ryder walks behind Zane and peeks over his shoulder at what he’s cooking before walking toward me. “Morning, Bello,” he greets before kissing me like he did Les.
“Morning to you too,” I say out of breath when he pulls back.
“What about me?” Gage pouts. Ryder jerks Gage’s head back, sealing his mouth over his.
“Holy shit,” Les laughs.
Ryder plops on the stool beside Gage with a chuckle. He seems so fucking free, like none of the other shit that usually makes him an asshole is bothering him anymore. I look back at Zane, and he’s staring at Ryder too, noticing the same thing. Whatever Zane did made Ryder a whole new man.
The rest get seated around the island while Zane dishes up eggs and French toast. “Sorry. It’s all we had,” he apologizes before sliding onto the stool beside Leo.
Les moans around her fork. “It’s still delicious.”
“Pretty girl,” Gage groans. “Don’t make those noises.”
She does it again, louder this time then laughs when all eyes snap to her. “Fine. I won’t do it again.” I can tell by the look on her face that she’s full of shit.
We spend the meal joking and laughing, but the dark cloud of the unknown is hanging over us. Viktor and Jay are working together to get rid of all of us so that Jay can have Les to himself. Yesterday is the third time they almost succeeded in taking one of us out.
“When do we leave?” I ask when I’m done eating.
Ryder, Zane, and Les share a glance. “You aren’t. Zane is staying here with you,” Ryder answers in a no-argument way that always pisses me off.
“I’m not staying here like a fucking kid,” I argue.
“Holden,” Les says softly. “You almost died yesterday.”
“So did Leo, and he went out days later. Gage started going again as soon as he could,” I say hotly. Why am I any different?
“Sorry, Bello,” Ryder says and stands up. “You aren’t going. End of discussion.” Without a backward glance, he leaves the room.
Les watches him go, then looks back at me. “We won’t risk you, Holden.” She stands up. “I’m sorry.” She follows Ryder from the room.
Leo and Gage exchange a look, then slink off behind them, leaving me with Zane.
I hear Zane’s stool scrape against the floor, then he slides onto the stool beside me. I can’t even look at him. I’m so damn pissed.
“Look at me,” Zane says sternly, turning my head automatically. “The reason why Leo and Gage went out after is that this is what they do. They’re not saying you’re not capable because you fucking are. But we need you safe.”
“What about the rest of you guys? I want you guys safe, but I don’t get a fucking vote in that. I just get told to stay in the house like a good boy, and that’s that.”
I slide off the stool, and Zane grabs my arm to stop me.
He stands up in front of me. “I know it seems that way, but that’s not what we’re doing.
We will do anything to make sure what happened yesterday doesn’t fucking happen again.
” He steps in closer. “Because the thought of losing you, Sweet boy, rips us apart.” I suck in a breath at the look in his eyes.
“Don’t make us have to live through that again. ”
“I can’t lose you guys either,” I say miserably. “I can’t do it either.”
“Nothing in this life is certain, Holden. The only thing I can promise you is they will do everything they can to come home to you.” My shoulders sag in defeat, knowing I’m not going to win this one. “You get to hang out with me.”
I can’t help but laugh at his hopeful tone. “How did you get stuck with babysitting duty?”