39. Veronica
39
Veronica
“ H ey you,” I call out to Ford, beckoning him over as I wiggle my finger toward me. “It’s hammer time,” I joke, doing the famous dance. Thankfully he laughs at my lame attempt at a joke, even if he is shaking his head.
“So, where do you need me?” he asks.
“Right here. It’s the perfect spot,” I indicate, nodding toward one of Blair’s amazing photo masterpieces before pointing to the wall and the spot I’ve picked for it. It’s without a doubt, the best place for it to stand out and showcase just how bad ass of a photographer she is.
The three of us, well, four if you count Miles, have been working our asses off to get this place set up and running for Blair to have her grand opening tomorrow. However, I’ve done my best to avoid being around him, as we’ve both been working opposite shifts.
Not that he seems to mind, since it feels like we’ve both had the same goal—avoiding the apartment when the other is there. And if, for some reason we do both have to be there, we hide in our rooms, or at least that’s what I’ve been doing
Maybe we could have kept this charade going. We still have a few weeks left before our annulment is granted, but I just can’t do it. Letting myself fall for the wrong guy once was way too painful, and given how different things feel with Miles, and how much deeper the feelings go, it would truly devastate me. Hell, I’m already devastated, even if I’m doing a pretty good job of pretending like everything is fine.
“Okay, so how does this look?” Ford asks, stepping back from his work and tilting his head to the side.
“It’s perfect.” I nod, before scanning the rest of the building which has been sectioned off with unique sets and backgrounds. It really is coming together, and I couldn’t be happier. Blair deserves to have the studio of her dreams. I may not be getting my happily ever after just yet, but at least I can find some comfort in the fact that I know she’s getting hers.
“I think I’m in need of some coffee,” Blair says, interrupting our admiration of her work.
“Well, I’ve never been one to turn down a coffee run, so I’m all for a small break,” I agree, heading over to grab my bag from where I left it behind the front desk.
“What about you, babe?” Blair asks, wrapping her arms around Ford’s middle as he does the same, dropping his forehead to meet hers.
“I think I’m good. I’ll stay here and keep working, but if you want to grab me a muffin or something, I wouldn’t say no to that,” he tells her, before placing a kiss on the top of her head.
“Blegh,” I tease, sticking out my tongue and wrinkling my nose.
Blair glances over, biting her lip. “Sorry,” she apologizes, loosening her grip on Ford as he does the same.
I wave her off dismissively. Just because my love life sucks doesn’t mean I need to go and ruin their fun. “I’m only kidding,” I offer. “You two are adorable. You’re couple goals, and I’m just salty that my love life sucks balls right about now.”
“Couple goals, huh?” Ford asks, a boyish grin spreading across his face.
“Don’t let it get to your head, Fordy boy. I’m still a bitter betty, and if you’re not careful, I might just take it back.”
“Aw, leave my man alone. Just let him have this one.” Blair chuckles, standing on her tiptoes to give him one final peck before turning to grab her bag.
“Fine,” I say, letting out an exaggerated breath. “You guys are the cutest, and honestly, I do actually mean it,” I promise Blair, as I hold the door open for us to leave so we can make the short walk to The Steamy Bean.
“We are pretty cute, huh?” Blair asks, a dreamy tone to her voice.
“Yeah, yeah, quit rubbing it in,” I tease, giving her arm a light shove.
Blair laughs as she loses her balance but recovers quickly. “Sorry,” she apologizes before continuing. “I mean it does kind of suck,” she muses as I glance over with a raised brow. “For a while there, I really thought things were going to work out with you and Miles, and we’d both have our dream men.”
I let out a scoff. “Well, I’m pretty sure that ship has long since sailed.”
“What really happened with that, anyway? I don’t need to kick his ass, right?” she asks, and given the look on her face, I know she’s serious.
I shake my head and cross my arms. “No, it’s nothing like that. I was actually the one who put an end to things.”
“Oh,” she says, clearly taken aback. “I figured it was the opposite.”
“Why?” I ask, my head rearing back, not sure if I should be offended or not.
She shrugs. “I don’t know, but I suppose Miles has always been the type to self-sabotage and not let himself be happy. Given the way the two of you acted before everything got weird and awkward, it was as if the two of you couldn’t stop touching or looking at each other. I guess I just thought you were feeling the same way about him, too.”
“I was,” I reply, a little too quickly and defensively, as we we reach the front of The Steamy Bean, which, thankfully for her, is only a few buildings away from hers. “And if I’m being honest, maybe I still am, but that’s precisely why I couldn’t keep doing it any longer.”
Her mouth tips open, her brows crinkling together. “I don’t get it,” she says, looking and sounding a lot like her brother the night I chose to end things. “If you still care about him, then why end it?”
“I can’t keep putting myself through this. I can’t keep falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same. A person can only endure so much heartbreak before they have to put themselves first,” I say, my voice trembling as I reach for the handle to let us in.
Blair reaches out and stops me. “Wait, hold up. You don’t think Miles feels the same way about you as you do about him?”
“No. He doesn’t. There’s no way in any world that Miles Bennett could ever feel for me the way I feel about him.”
Blair’s mouth drops open, closing her eyes as if composing herself as she shakes her head. “Come on, Ronnie. You’re not stupid. There’s no way you can’t see the way my brother feels about you. Hell, I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He’s a love-smitten mess, and given the way he’s been moping around ever since you pulled away, it only goes to show how hurt he is. He loves you, Ronnie. I know it.”
I roll my eyes and fold my arms once more. “He doesn’t love me.”
“Okay fine,” she concedes, tilting her head to the side. “Maybe love is a bit of a stretch, but I also wouldn’t completely blow off the idea of it either. I’ve never seen him act like he does around you with anyone else. Hell, the guy hardly ever brings anyone home for me to meet, yet in front of our entire town, or at least the entire bar that night at Timberline, he called you his wife. That’s not typical Miles behavior. Come on, you have to know that.”
“Maybe so, but it’s not like he wants me to stay his wife. It was just a mistake, and we’ve always known there was an expiration date on things, so why prolong it? Eventually, Miles would grow tired of me. We’re two incredibly different people.”
She doesn’t look impressed as she reaches out and places her hands on my shoulders, giving me a light shake. “Are you even listening to yourself right now? Where is the Ronnie who follows her heart no matter what? The Ronnie who says, ‘fuck the consequences’?” she asks.
“You mean the Ronnie who has an ex-fiancé and now a soon-to-be ex-husband? That Ronnie? Because that woman is tired of making mistakes and is finally growing up and looking to avoid all possible heartbreak. She can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. It’s just too much.”
She frowns. “I get that, but can I be honest with you? From experience, I can proudly attest that running away isn’t the answer.”
I turn to look away from her. “Just because it wasn’t the answer for you doesn’t mean it isn’t the answer for me.”
“And you really think that’s true?” she asks, clearly unconvinced.
“Yes, I do. Just because things suddenly worked out for you doesn’t mean it’s all magically going to work out for me, too.” Her frown deepens, guilt written across her features, but I can’t worry about that. Right now, it’s my heart I need to be looking out for. It’s my heart that’s on the line, and my heart that already feels broken beyond repair. “And that’s fine. I’m not giving up on love entirely. So don’t worry about that,” I assure her, placing a hand on her arm. “I think my heart just needs a teeny tiny break, okay?”
She nods, her frown not relenting, but at least she no longer has that sad, pathetic puppy-dog look going on.
“Can we please get our coffee now?” I ask, forcing a smile.
“Yeah, we can,” she agrees with a nod, linking her arm through mine before opening the door and leading us inside.
While I’m relieved to put the conversation behind us, her words linger, looping through my brain as the knot in my chest continues to tighten. Could his feelings be real? Maybe. I’m just not sure my heart is capable of giving it another chance. It’s way too bruised and fragile and it feels like one wrong move could destroy it completely.