Chapter 18 Josie
Eighteen
Josie
I’ll give everything for him including my freedom.
A scream rips from my throat, yanking me from the depths of the nightmare. My chest is heaving, my skin damp with sweat, and my hands clutch at the sheets like they might anchor me back to reality. The terror lingers, clawing at the edges of my mind, even as I blink into the darkness of the room.
Justice.
I saw him disappear. One second, he was in my arms, warm and safe, his little face tilted up toward mine with a sleepy smile.
The next, he was gone. Vanished into a void, like he had never been there at all.
And I couldn’t find him. I screamed his name over and over, my voice tearing through the night, but he never answered.
I ran, I begged, I sobbed—but he was gone.
My breath shudders out of me as I force my eyes to adjust. My body is still tense, bracing for the loss that isn't real. The nightmare tries to pull me back under, whispering that it could be real, that it was real, but then I feel it—
Warmth. Strength.
Arms wrapped around me, holding me firm against a steady chest. The deep, even rise and fall of his breathing brushes against my back, grounding me in something solid. Dean.
I squeeze my eyes shut, pressing my face into the pillow as I let the sensation of him chase away the lingering fear.
His scent surrounds me—leather, smoke, and something undeniably him.
I don’t know when I moved in the night, but at some point, I must have turned into him, seeking him out like he’s, my lifeline. And he didn’t let go.
A rough, sleepy voice murmurs against my hair, low and groggy. “Jo? You okay?”
I don’t answer right away. My throat is too tight, my heart still hammering against my ribs. But then his grip tightens, his hand smoothing up my arm, over my shoulder, until his fingers tangle with mine. I breathe out, the nightmare starting to fade under the warmth of his touch.
“Bad dream,” I whisper, my voice hoarse.
Dean shifts behind me, his body curving protectively around mine. “Justice?” he guesses, and the way he says it—so sure, so knowing—makes my throat close up all over again.
I nod. “I lost him,” I admit, my voice cracking. “He was just… gone.”
Dean is silent for a beat, then he moves, rolling me gently onto my back so he can look at me. The room is dark, but his eyes find mine anyway, sharp and sure. His fingers brush over my cheek, then slide down to rest against my racing pulse.
“He’s safe, Jo,” he tells me, his voice steady. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”
The dam inside me cracks just a little, the fear unraveling, loosening its grip. I exhale shakily, my fingers gripping his shirt like I need to feel the fabric between my hands to believe him.
“I hate that it feels so real,” I whisper. “Like I wake up and I still feel the panic, the loss…”
Dean shifts closer, his forehead pressing against mine. “I know,” he murmurs. “But I won’t let anything happen to either of you. You hear me?”
I nod, and his thumb brushes over my cheek, gentle and reassuring.
The last echoes of the nightmare slip away, leaving only him—his warmth, his presence, his promise.
My body finally relaxes, and when he pulls me back into his arms, I go willingly, pressing against him until I can hear the steady rhythm of his heart beneath my ear.
His lips brush against my temple, lingering, soft and full of quiet reassurance.
He trails slow, lazy kisses down to my jaw, his hand sliding to my waist, pulling me closer.
I tilt my face up, searching for more, needing more.
When our lips finally meet, it’s slow, deep, the kind of kiss that melts away everything else.
Dean moves over me, his body warm and solid against mine, his touch gentle but sure.
Fingers trace the curve of my waist, slipping beneath the fabric of my shirt, spreading heat in their wake.
I arch into him, sighing into his mouth as his hand slides up my spine, holding me like I’m something precious.
He takes his time, tasting, exploring, letting every movement tell me what words cannot. His lips move down my neck, lingering at the hollow of my throat. My breath hitches when he shifts, his weight pressing me into the mattress, surrounding me, consuming me.
“Jo,” he murmurs against my skin, voice rough with need, with emotion. “Let me take care of you.”
I nod, my hands fisting in his shirt, pulling him closer, needing him closer. He slips my shirt over my head, his eyes dark with something tender, something deep. He kisses me again, reverent and slow, like he has all the time in the world to worship me, to make me feel safe, cherished.
And in his arms, beneath his touch, I finally do.
One Month Later
I run my fingers along the smooth edges of Jonah’s urn, the cool metal grounding me as I take a steady breath.
The house is quiet, Justice tucked into bed, and the weight in my chest isn’t as heavy as it used to be when I sit here.
But it still lingers, a whisper of grief, a shadow of love lost too soon.
“Oh Jonah,” I whisper, my voice breaking the stillness of the room. “It’s been a while since I sat down and really talked to you.”
I trace the etched letters of his name, feeling the familiar sting of loss, but it’s different now. Lighter. Like I can breathe again without guilt, like the pain doesn’t drown me, just nudges at my heart as a reminder.
“I wanted to tell you… I’ve found love again.
” My lips tremble before curving into a small, bittersweet smile.
“Dean.” Saying his name fills me with warmth, a glow spreading through my chest, something steady, something real.
“You’d like him. He’s rough around the edges, stubborn as hell, but he’s got the biggest heart.
He makes me feel safe, Jonah. Like I can be whole again. ”
I swallow hard, blinking rapidly as tears blur my vision.
“He talks about you, you know? To Justice. Makes sure he knows who his father was, what kind of man you were. He never lets Justice forget you.” My voice wavers, thick with emotion.
“He doesn’t try to take your place. Just…
he makes sure your son knows where he comes from. And I love him for that.”
A deep breath in. A slow exhale out. The words sit in my chest, warm and solid.
“I love him.”
For the first time, saying those words doesn’t come with guilt. Just truth. Just peace.
A shift in the air behind me makes me turn. Dean stands in the doorway, his gaze locked on me, something unreadable in his eyes.
I sit up straighter, wiping at my cheek with trembling fingers. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” he murmurs, stepping forward with slow, deliberate movements, like he’s afraid to break the moment.
He doesn’t stop until he’s kneeling in front of me, right in front of the urn. His large, calloused hand reaches out, and to my shock, he rests it gently against the cool metal, his thumb brushing over the name carved there.
“Thank you,” Dean says, voice rough but unwavering. “For your service. For the gift of your son. I’ll never try to replace you, but I want to be a father to Justice. A real father.”
My breath shudders out of me, a sob breaking free as fresh tears spill over my cheeks. “Dean…”
He reaches into his pocket, and my heart stops as he pulls out a small velvet box. My hands shake as I cover my mouth, my entire body trembling as he looks up at me, eyes filled with love, devotion, and a quiet strength that makes me want to fall into him forever.
“I love you, Jo. More than I ever thought I could love someone. You and Justice are my home.” His voice drops to a whisper, thick with emotion. “Marry me.”
A choked sob escapes me, but I shake my head—frantic, disbelieving. “Oh my God.”
His face falters, but before he can say another word, I grab his hand, pressing it flat against my stomach.
“You’re gonna be a dad.”
Dean stills, his entire body freezing, his breath hitching as his eyes snap to mine. A beat passes, and then his throat works on a swallow, his other hand coming up to cradle my face. When his gaze meets mine again, it’s glassy with unshed tears. “You’re serious?”
A watery laugh bubbles out of me as I nod, emotion overwhelming me. “Yeah, Dean. I’m serious. I came in here to tell Jonah. But I really should tell you first. We have a baby on the way, Dean.”
A strangled sound escapes him, part laugh, part choked breath, before he pulls me into his arms with Jonah’s urn between us, holding onto me like he never wants to let go.
His arms loosen around me, I set Jonah back down on the nightstand to move him back to the shelf while Dean stares at me in awe.
“Thank you for not wanting to shut Jonah out for Justice and for me.”
“Jo, you have given me the best gift in the world, your love, Justice, and our baby. I wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for his sacrifice. I can never replace him or repay him, but I can live my every breath to make sure he’s not forgotten while loving you and building our life together.”
And I know, without a doubt, I’ll never want him to let go. Ever.