Chapter 10
Grace
When I looked at Kai, his face was drawn and his eyes appeared haunted.
Lines framed his mouth, deepening his scowl.
Waves of anger radiated from him, but they weren’t directed at me.
It was all for his father. I’d always wondered what his father did to him other than the obvious bruises.
He’d had a next-level hatred for the man, but he’d always refused to talk about it.
With cautious movement towards him, I stretched out my arm to take his hand. “Talk to me, Kai. Are you okay?”
He yanked me to him and wrapped his muscular arms around me.
“I am now,” he breathed as he held me close, as if his life depended on it.
We stayed like that, with my head over his heart, feeling it beating frantically in his chest. I tried to shift so I could glance up at him, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?” I asked softly, moving my hands up into his hair, playing with the strands at the base of his neck. “I’m here for you. Let me in.”
It was like we were picking up right where we left off but it was also more. We’d been each other’s confidants. We’d taken care of each other and seen each other through some of the worst times in our lives and now we were here, reconnecting as adults.
His chest heaved as he let out a big breath. “I’m not sure I can, Wildflower. You might never look at me the same way again, and if I were to lose you again after having just found you, I doubt I would survive it.”
His words hurt my heart.
This man, he saw into the depths of my soul but was so closed off I was sure I’d never be able to crack his walls if he didn’t let me or at least offer me the tools to do so.
Something horrific must have happened to him, and it seemed like it was all before he left for the military.
I’d been so young, so focused on my pain and how to survive my day-to-day life, I hadn’t pushed back then, even when I’d known he was struggling.
But I was older, stronger and wiser now.
Pain and hurt, I knew, could fester and twist a person into someone they no longer recognized.
I couldn’t let that happen to Kai. I wouldn’t.
“You can tell me anything, Kai. You know me better than anyone. Let me in, let me hold some of your pain with you.” I lifted my head to meet his gaze so he could see, I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Not here,” he stated. “Can you take us somewhere?”
“Of course. Just let me grab my keys. Wait here,” I said before hurrying back inside to grab my coat and keys.
Indy was standing by the windows in the living room, looking worried.
“Is he okay?” he asked as he chewed on his bottom lip.
My brother-in-law wore his heart on his sleeve and was fiercely protective of his family.
But he too had suffered from trauma and knew what Kai’s panicked reactions likely meant.
“I’m so sorry for snapping at him the way I did. He looks so much like his brother and father, and I just reacted.” Sadness radiated from Indy as I made my way over and gave him a hug.
“I understand. I panicked when I first saw Kai again, too. But trust me, he is nothing like his brother or father. He’s suffered at the hands of his father, like Lexi and I had with ours.
But I think there’s more to it. His reaction today—I’m worried.
He’s been through so much. I’m going to go with him for a bit.
Can you say goodbye to everyone for me? I’m not working tomorrow, so I can pick Hazel up from school, okay? ”
“Of course, and thanks. Hazel will love that,” Indy said, his fingers nervously tracing the nape of his neck. “Can you tell him I’m sorry? I hope he can forgive me, and I’ll get to meet him again soon.”
“I will.” I gave Indy one more hug. “It’ll be okay,” I assured him, and I left with my keys in hand, ready to take Kai wherever he wanted to go.
Kai was leaning against my small hatchback as I returned. “Do you know where Riverrun Ranch is?”
“No, I haven’t ventured further than the community center for class, but you can direct me,” I told him as I buckled my belt and got us on the road.
“Head to the community center, and it’s about ten minutes from there,” he instructed me before he slumped back in his seat, glancing out the passenger window as we left Hope’s Ridge.
The drive passed in silence until we got to the center, and he directed me for only the two turns it took to get us to the ranch. He’d been rubbing his thigh for most of the drive.
“Is your leg bothering you?” I asked as I turned onto the gravel driveway leading to the ranch. I was worried he’d hurt himself physically to escape the pain that was torturing him.
“It’s just a twinge. I’ll be fine,” he said as he stopped rubbing.
As I crested the hill, the beautiful two-storey ranch house came into view, but my gaze caught on the flash of bright colors to the right. Royal blues, greens, and gold flickered in the sun as two honest-to-goodness peacocks roamed freely in the open space next to the ranch house.
“Are those peacocks?” My voice filled with awe and surprise as I slowed to a stop, watching the birds wander around picking at the grass like they didn’t have a care in the world.
The first smile since we left the brunch graced Kai’s lips. “Yep. They’re great LGAs.”
“LGAs?” I asked.
Kai’s deep, rumbling chuckle warmed my soul. “Sorry, they’re a livestock guardian animal. Like dogs, donkeys, goats and llamas. Animals that alert us of predators. Peacocks have a loud, piercing call that we can hear anywhere on the ranch.”
“Wow, so you just have peacocks roaming around. That’s pretty cool. But are they safe from predators like bears and wolves? They don’t get eaten, do they?” I bit my bottom lip, not liking to think too much about the circle of life with animals and the local wildlife.
“Not that I know of. We’ve got good deterrents, and the peacocks are more of a warning system that a predator is nearby so we can move it on rather than find missing or injured livestock later.
” Kai rubbed his chiseled jaw as he flicked his gaze back to mine.
“You can follow the path to the right and around the back of the first red barn. It’ll lead you to my bunkhouse where you can park, and we’ll walk over to the horses from there. ”
“Horses?” I asked, my pulse racing with excitement.
I loved animals, and having grown up around them in the cowboy state, I’d missed them more than I wanted to admit since coming to Montana.
I longed to get lost on a ride, to have the wind whip through my hair.
There was no better sense of freedom than escaping on horseback.
“Yes, horses. You still love them, huh?” he asked, looking over at me.
“You know I do.” My insides did a little happy dance, the excitement building as I rounded the barns and came to a row of cute little log cabins.
There were six of them, with the two on either end seeming bigger than the others.
Each dwelling was small, but they looked like tiny versions of the main ranch house we’d passed on the way in.
“These are adorable.” I gasped, taking in the brightly colored doors with matching Adirondack chairs and an antique light post in front of each building.
“Yeah, this is home,” Kai sighed. “Mine’s the last one in this row, with the purple door.” He pointed to the left, and as I rounded the bend, so much more came into view. “It reminded me of you.”
His whispered words and sweet smile heated my blood and warmed my soul.
As I approached Kai’s cabin, I noticed the snow melting into icicles from the Gable style roof, adding to this hidden-away magical winter wonderland.
Thick, snow dusted pines lined both sides of the building.
I parked and exited the car, taking in the little awning and picture windows.
Every cabin appeared situated within its private woodland. It was postcard-perfect.
“It’s magical.” Awe filling my voice. “You get to live here.”
Kai came to stand behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling his cold nose into my neck, making me shiver.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, placing kisses up my neck before nipping my ear.
Desire ignited in my core, burning hot and bright whenever this man touched me.
This attraction, this heat kept building every time we were together, every time he texted, every time he called me Wildflower.
I was becoming addicted to his touch, to how he set my body on fire with only a word or a look.
He was my best friend, my sanctuary, my soulmate.
My feelings for this man were growing at a rapid rate and I was getting lost in the tide.
“Kai,” I groaned, pushing back against him to feel that he was similarly affected by our closeness. “Horses,” I remarked.
Although I wanted nothing more than to grab him and rush into his cabin for more, I needed to understand what was going on with him. I needed him to know he could open up to me and that nothing between us would change.
“You don’t make it easy, Wildflower,” he moaned into my neck, placing one last kiss there. With my hand in his, he directed me toward one of the sizable barns we had passed earlier.
We wandered into the barn through the rustic black roller doors. There were a few ranch hands around, but Kai didn’t introduce us as he made his way over to a stall with a stunning black gelding.
“He’s beautiful,” I exclaimed as Kai opened the stall and held out his hand for the animal to sniff.
“This is Ankh or Anchor. Come here, let him smell you.” Kai waved me over, and I made my way over to his side, holding my de-gloved hand out for Anchor to sniff.
“Look at this,” Kai said as he moved the horse’s mane out of the way, and a white patch that loosely looked like a ship’s anchor, stood out in contrast to his shiny black coat.
“His namesake, obviously,” Kai added as he rubbed the horse’s flank.