Chapter 13
Malachi
Gracie wasn’t the only one drowning in emotions. What we’d just done together had been intense. Being inside her, sensing her unraveling above me was unbelievable.
My Wildflower, my Gracie, my heart.
Everything we’d shared was more than I ever thought I’d get to experience in this lifetime, and as I held her close, my heart swelled at all the feelings rushing through me.
This woman had my heart, always had. From the first innocent smile she’d given me at sixteen to having to say goodbye to her when I was eighteen.
She’d never been far from my thoughts. She’d brought light back into my life.
I loved her. A part of me always had, and always would, but now that I’d had this taste of her, I was never letting her go. I’d fight like hell to keep her.
We lay like that, entangled in each other’s arms as I let her cry. I rubbed her back and murmured words of comfort as I breathed her in and let her work her way through everything we had shared.
“Sorry about that,” she sniffled as she lifted to look at me with her chin on my chest. Her beautiful green eyes still twinkled with tears, but her face also looked peaceful, like a weight had lifted off her shoulders.
“You never have to apologize to me,” I promised as I cupped her soft cheek. She leaned into my touch as a smile graced her face.
“I know. I feel safe with you; I think that’s why I was so overwhelmed. Knowing I could cry, breakdown, and rage, and you’d be there. I haven’t experienced that in a long time…” She paused before her next words broke my heart. “Not since you left.”
“Oh, Wildflower. I’m so sorry I left and couldn’t take you with me. You know how desperately I wished I could have.” I kissed her forehead, my lips brushing against her skin as a silent plea escaped me, a desperate ache in my chest yearning for a different past.
“I know. We were just kids, and there was nothing either of us could have done. But we’re here now. We’re together, and I’m so thankful we found each other again.” She kissed my lips, and I was beyond amazed that this was Gracie, my Gracie, kissing me.
Our foreheads touched, and I inhaled her sweet scent. “I am, too. So thankful for you. I plan to never let you go again.”
We breathed in the moment, sitting in the feelings and passion we’d shared until Gracie started to squirm. I chuckled. “Let’s go get cleaned up.”
I rolled over and shifted to sit up before grabbing my crutches to help me stand.
“Come on. We can shower together,” I suggested as I waggled my eyebrows at her, relishing her sweet giggle as I led the way into my en suite bathroom.
My shower had a built-in bench seat, which made everything that much easier.
I moved to turn the water on, letting it heat as Gracie hovered by the door, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. I stepped towards her and caressed her cheek before leaning down to kiss her lips.
I couldn’t get enough of this woman. Every moment, every touch, every kiss did nothing to alleviate my thirst. She was my addiction, and I would happily drown in her.
“So, are we going to shower, or are you just going to keep staring at me?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with heat.
“Come on, I’d like to see this all wet,” she teased as her fingers traveled over my abs, down to my cock that was already rising to the occasion.
This little vixen had me; I was a goner.
Her hands released me, and she walked past me and stepped into the shower.
She glanced over her shoulder at me as water cascaded over her bare back.
“Well, are you going to join me, or am I showering by myself?”
“Wildflower, where did all this sass come from?” I groaned as I hurried to join her.
She moved aside so I could sit on the bench, and grabbed the body wash and lathered some in her hands before running them over my chest. Water beat down on us from the rainfall showerhead as she danced her small hands over my shoulders, down my chest, over my tattoo and fisted my aching cock.
“Darlin’,” I moaned.
“Yes, Kai.” Her faux innocence and boldness ratcheted up the heat that much more. Before I knew what was happening, she was on her knees in front of me, rubbing the suds off my cock as she kissed the tip.
“Can I taste you?”
My eyes rolled back in my head as my cock twitched in her grip.
Holy, fucking fuck!
My brain short-circuited. When she looked up at me through her thick, wet eyelashes, and then hearing those words, and feeling her soft lips touch the tip of my cock. I was dead. That’s it. I’d expired from pleasure overload.
“Fuck, sweetheart.” I groaned. I couldn’t handle any more from this woman. “You sure?” I asked. We’d already shared so much, and I didn’t want to overwhelm her any further.
“I want to, Kai, please.” She stroked me from root to tip as she waited for my answer. All I could do was nod, and she wasted no time kissing up my shaft before licking around the crown.
“Wild-er.” That was the second time I’d called her that. It seemed fitting. My heart has never beaten wilder than in her presence. She also had a hidden wild side I longed to coax out. I’d only seen hidden glimpses as teens and longed to see so much more and have her embrace that freedom.
I growled as she hollowed her cheeks and started to suck.
She bobbed her head up and down on my cock, her tongue licking the underside as she moved.
She kept a hand around the base as she guided her movements.
The sensation of having her mouth on my cock was driving me wild.
She lowered her mouth, taking me in a little further each time, and I couldn’t help the groans falling from my lips.
“Fuck, Gracie.” I gripped her wet hair in my hands, needing something to hold on to as she took me apart.
“Touch yourself. I’m so close, and I need you to come first. Circle your clit with those devious little fingers.
” She did as I instructed and, seeing her on her knees, stuffed full of my cock and her fingers at her sweet pussy.
I was so fucking close. “That’s it, sweetheart,” I praised.
“Now push a finger inside. Make that tight pussy clench. Give in to the pleasure.” She did and moaned around my cock, making my stomach tighten as my release built.
“Fuck, Gracie, that’s it. Finger fuck yourself.
Get yourself off, while I stuff my thick cock down your throat. ”
She moaned again and swallowed around my crown, taking me even deeper, and that was it; I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Fuck, Wilder!” I bellowed as my cock exploded in her mouth. She continued to suck and finger herself as we both fell apart, for a second time in as many minutes.
“Holy shit, sweetheart.” I panted as she licked me clean and placed a chaste kiss on my thigh tattoo. I pulled her up to crash my mouth over hers. The taste of my cum burst over my tongue, mixed with Gracie’s natural sweetness, and I couldn’t get enough. “That was incredible.”
I breathed her in, pulling her onto my lap, and nuzzled her neck as we both caught our breath. “Are you okay?” I asked, needing to know she enjoyed herself too.
“Yes, that was so hot.” Her voice was hoarse as she spoke.
My eyes widened at the sound. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” My fingers danced over her neck. She reached up and gripped my hand over her throat, holding me there as she swallowed.
“No, you didn’t hurt me. I’m fine. I’ll just have to practice more and get used to your size.” She gazed at me with a heat blazing in her eyes, which I’m sure was reflected in my own.
I kissed her again, needing her mouth—needing her—in every way I could have her. I couldn’t wait for more. More explorations, more time with this wonderful woman. A future with the only girl who had ever owned my heart.
As we cleaned up, we traded soft touches and caresses, unable to keep our hands off each other.
Every touch, every caress felt more intimate than the last. Everything about her amazed me, and seeing her ask for what she desired and embrace her sexuality—even a little—was something special.
Something I’d fought for years to own, and here Gracie was, embracing it, expressing it and owning it, within minutes, even if her shy confidence was adorable.
Once we dried off and redressed, we made our way back into my living room. I grabbed us a bottle of water before falling onto the couch beside my girl, letting my crutches crash to the floor.
“You know I’m proud of you for earlier. Saying what you wanted. I know it couldn’t have been easy,” I said as I kissed the top of her head.
“It wasn’t easy, but it felt liberating. Is that weird?”
“Not at all. You know our upbringing was messed up, don’t you? It took me a long time to shake that shame and the internal hatred I had of my own thoughts and desires.”
“It did? Wait, you felt shame about sex, too? You seem so free and uninhibited,” she asked so innocently, not knowing the can of worms she was about to open.
As I rested my arm over her shoulders, I needed to hold her if we were going to have this conversation. I pulled her close, encouraging her to put her head on my shoulder. She shifted easily and kissed my neck before settling into place with her hand over my heart.
My chest ached with a tenderness I’d never known.
Since she’d crashed back into my life, my desire for her had become a living, breathing thing.
It was intense, a constant need for more, to see her, be with her, talk to her.
I’d never felt anything like this, and it was nothing compared to my innocent youthful crush.
I braced myself, needing to be honest with her. She needed to know all of me, the truth I’d kept hidden from everyone, and hopefully she’d still stick around after it was all laid out.
“I have to tell you something important about me,” I started.
“You can tell me anything, Kai.”
“I’m bi, you know, bisexual. I’m attracted to both men and women. It doesn’t change my feelings for you or how desperately I want a future with you. I just wanted you to know.”
She didn’t react to my words, didn’t flinch or stiffen up.
“Thank you for telling me,” she said. The silence felt heavy, oppressive, before she spoke again.
“When did you know?” Her words were cautious, as if there was more she wanted to say.
For someone who easily blushed and got flustered at sex and curse words, she had always been very clued into things to do with the LGBTQIA+ community.
More so since the rumors about Indy being gay had spread around our hometown like wildfire.
The rumors only quieted when Indy married Lexi but blew up again when everyone found out they were teen parents.
“I figured it out when I was young, but accepted that it was part of myself when I was about sixteen.”
“Did…did your father know?” Her words were like a direct shot to my heart, and I winced.
This was the part no one knew. The shameful monster I’d told no one about, ever.
It had been hidden in a lockbox inside my head, never to be opened.
But this woman’s kindness and compassion had shone a light on all the shadows and darkness in my mind, sending a crack through my carefully constructed walls.
“Yes, he knew.” My voice cracked as pain, shame, and anger rose in me in equal measure.
“He put me through his version of pastoral care.” Bile ran up my throat at what I needed to say next.
What I’d never spoken out loud before. “He raped me under the guise of reparative therapy. He forced me to masturbate and had Assistant Reverend Lester beat me and poison me to ensure I was physically ill when I was doing it. I was lucky to escape into the military after only two sessions. It was one of the main reasons I had to escape. I couldn’t live with that vile man any longer.
The things he did to me—I couldn’t take it anymore.
” Tears ran freely down my cheeks. Gracie had stiffened in my arms now.
Her hand pressed against my racing heart.
“Oh, Kai,” her voice choked on a sob. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. How can I help you? What do you need?”
Her words had more emotion welling inside me. How’d I get so lucky to have this woman by my side? She was all that was good and right in the world, and I longed to keep her for as long as she’d let me.
“Just listening is enough for now.” Even though I was emotionally spent, something inside me shifted. Now that I’d said the words out loud, shared my pain with Gracie, I felt a little of my sharp edges soften. Some of her goodness chased away a little of my darkness.
We sat like that, sitting in the moment, in the bombshell I’d shared, but I didn’t feel the same shame as I had before. Gracie’s presence next to me, inhaling her essence, instilled hope within me. A hope we could share our pain together and build something new, just for the two of us.