Chapter 26
Grace
As soon as I got home from my appointment, I crashed. Knowing I was pregnant explained why I was tired all the time, but this felt like more than pregnancy exhaustion. The weight of change and everything I’d need to do was sitting on my chest, threatening to crush me.
After a fitful nap, I woke to clattering in the kitchen; I guess Kath was home now. I padded out on socked feet and came to sit at the counter. “Hey, when’d you get back?”
Her gaze flicked to mine, and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head before she quickly schooled her features. “Only a minute ago.” She paused while putting the dishes away to come around to give me a hug. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” I answered as she squeezed me. “What’s all this for? Are you okay?” She was acting weird. Had she heard about my fainting episode at work? Probably. Small-town news spread like wildfire.
“Fine, fine, as long as you’re okay.” She held my upper arms as her gaze assessed me.
I showed my annoyance with her obvious observation. “I take it you heard. I’m fine, I promise. Just embarrassed about all the fuss and attention.”
Kath’s amber eyes squinted as her lips turned down. “What attention? Heard what?” Her voice was hesitant, as if she wasn’t sure what I was talking about.
“My fainting at The Dusted Bull and Theo and Kai having to come to my rescue.”
Her eyes widened in surprise as her gaze flicked to my stomach before returning to my eyes. Could she tell I was pregnant? I didn’t look pregnant. Only Doc knew. This couldn’t be news yet; this was private.
It was my turn to assess her. She had pinched brows, and her usual bubbliness was missing. Maybe something happened with Kay last night.
“Is Kay okay?” I asked, worry gnawing at me. He’d been going through something since I’d met him.
As she moved her head, her blonde tresses swirled, accentuating her heart-shaped features. “He’s fine. What do you mean you fainted?”
“I figured you knew.” I rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “I figured the whole county would know by now.”
“Are you okay? Why did you faint? Is everything…I mean…are you healthy?” She fumbled over her words, and that more than anything told me something was wrong.
I clasped her hands and drew her to the remaining stool. “Talk to me, Kath. What’s going on?”
Her body sagged with a sigh. “I’m so sorry; I knocked your coat off the hook hanging mine up and the ultrasound picture fell out.
I know I’m not supposed to know, but I’m just worried about you.
You’re pregnant, you fainted, so how can I help you?
What do you need?” The words left her in a rush as each phrase and question hit me like a physical blow.
She knew I was pregnant.
So much for taking some time to figure things out.
Her worried gaze tracked my every movement. She’d become a great friend over the last couple of months. While it would have been nice to tell her rather than her finding out, I relished the chance to talk to someone about it.
With my hands grasping hers, I maintained eye contact. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it myself.”
“So, you are pregnant?” Her gaze flicked to my stomach and then back up.
“Yes.” My hand moved to my belly on reflex. I still couldn’t believe there was a baby growing in there. “This was not supposed to happen. It’s a lot to take in.”
Kath bit her bottom lip, brows knitting together. “What about Mal? Does he know?”
My stomach dropped at the thought. We’d started something beautiful, and the thought of having to tell him and then losing him, had the weight of an elephant sitting on my chest. It made taking a full breath difficult.
“Grace?” Kath pulled on my hands, forcing me to look at her. “Breathe. In for four, out for four.” She guided me until my breathing was under control.
“Sorry. No, he doesn’t know.” The next words shattered my heart. “It’s not his.”
“I figured. I’m so sorry, honey.” She pulled me in for the hug I desperately needed since finding all this out.
“What am I going to do? I’m only twenty-two. Cain can’t know. He’ll never let me go if he finds out.” Tears pricked my eyes at the thought. Maybe I could file for the divorce and order of protection, and he’d just sign and forget about me. I wasn’t that lucky.
“Have you thought more about the order of protection? Max could help you. I’m sure Mal’s mentioned it.” Her eyes flashed with concern.
“A piece of paper won’t stop him. If anything, it would just make him angrier.
And if I fill it in, he’ll know exactly where to find me.
Right now, I don’t think he knows. I covered my tracks.
” I thought I had, but I’d been in so much pain I could have missed something.
And what about those text messages? There was no proof they were from him, but they were too pointed not to be.
“Do you know if there’s a way I could file for divorce without listing my current address?” I picked at my cuticles. “Do you think the shelter has resources I could use?”
“There must be something we can do. We can go tomorrow and find out,” Kath said so matter-of-factly; my heart swelled at her unwavering support.
My eyes filled with tears, but this time they were happy ones as I hugged Kath. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out,” she assured me as she hugged me back.
Retreating, her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Do you know how far along you are? I take it you want to keep it.”
“Doc says I’m just over nine weeks, so still in the first trimester.
He couldn’t tell me much more than that.
Other than that, everything looks good. I’ve always wanted children.
Although I hate Cain and how this little one was conceived, I don’t think I could bring myself to terminate it.
As soon as I saw that little wriggling shape on the screen, my heart skipped a beat.
It’s a part of me.” My hands rested over my still flat stomach.
What would it be like to be pregnant, to feel my baby grow inside me?
“You don’t have to go through any of this alone.
I’ll be here every step of the way. If you’re happy about this, I’ll get right on board.
I hate how its conception happened for you, but love will surround this baby.
It’ll never know that darkness.” She watched me closely as she spoke.
“I’m sure Indy will be thrilled. When are you going to tell people? What about Mal?”
“I don’t know. I’m not going to actively tell anyone for a while. I need to let it sink in for myself first, you know. But Kai… What should I do? I don’t want to lose him or scare him away.”
Kath’s surprised laughter caught me completely off guard, and I jumped. “Sorry, sorry, but Mal doesn’t scare easily. And I think him leaving you would be unlikely. That man worships the ground you walk on. I’ve never seen someone so dedicated.”
Hope bloomed in my chest. “You think so? When should I tell him?”
“I know so. He’s as solid as they come. I’d say maybe tell him sooner rather than later, but it’s ultimately up to you.
How long can you keep a secret? You might start having pregnancy symptoms, which means hiding won’t be possible, anyway.
With your recent fainting, are you sure the baby’s okay? Does Doc know why you fainted?”
“Yeah, it was just shock. He says the baby’s fine. It’s so weird. There’s a baby growing in here.” I gazed at my stomach, yet struggled to comprehend it all.
“You’re about to become a mom.” Kath looked at me, her amber eyes sparkling.
“A mom,” I sighed, awe filling my voice. So many emotions cascaded through me, threatening to engulf me, but I wouldn’t let them. I needed to get my act together. I was going to become a mom.
Kath and I chatted for ages and lost track of time. It wasn’t until Kath’s mom called asking where she was that we realized how late it was.
“I’ve gotta run, supposed to be meeting the family for lunch and a business meeting,” she said as she finished her phone call. “Do you want to come? Have a home-cooked meal you didn’t have to cook?”
As nice as that sounded, I wasn’t ready to be around people just yet. “Thanks, but not today. Still need to get my head on straight. And I think I’m going to call off work, too. I’m not up for peopling.”
She gave me one last hug. “That’s understandable. Well, I’ve gotta run. If you need anything, call me.” She pulled on her coat, and with a wave, she left.
Silence surrounded me as I took a moment to breathe. Talking to Kath had helped immensely. I could do this, and I wouldn’t be alone.
My phone rang, making me jump as my few seconds of reprieve was shattered.
Doc was calling. After hours. Again.
Oh no. Was something wrong? “Hello?”
“Hi Grace, sorry to bother you so soon but some of your other blood work came in and I wanted to go through them with you. Do you have a moment to discuss them now?
“Sure.”
“Can you sit down somewhere safely and I’ll go through them? I don’t want a repeat of our last phone call.” Doc’s voice was gentle and light with amusement, even as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
What could it be?
I made my way over to the couch and sat. I took a moment to breathe before responding. “Okay, Doc. I’m sitting on a soft couch. I’m safe for you to go ahead.”
He chuckled before diving straight in. “With your undernourishment, I wanted to run a few extra tests just to be safe and one of them came back with a result we need to discuss. You have hypothyroidism. You will need to take levothyroxine as soon as possible. It’s lucky we caught it early as it can be dangerous during pregnancy.
I will leave a script for the medication at the front desk for you to pick up as soon as you can and I’d like to see you next week and check how you’re tracking, okay?
” He paused as he let the information sink in.
“Hypothyroidism?” I asked.