Chapter Four
The walk back to Poppy’s house was awkward.
What helped was that Ridge had put his clothes back on, because he was pretty sure it made Kael feel less strange, but it didn’t help the tension between them.
Ridge had finally told Kael that they were mates, and he still didn’t know how Kael had taken the news.
Was he okay with it? Was he freaking out?
Had he suspected all along, or was this a total surprise for him?
Ridge couldn’t know if he didn’t ask, but he wasn’t sure Kael would answer his questions. He didn’t want to push if Kael wasn’t ready for that. He was pretty sure that if he tried, he would send Kael running, and that was the last thing he wanted.
He wanted his mate. Most shifters did, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since the first time he’d met Kael.
He’d known they were meant to be together as soon as he’d smelled Kael, and it had taken everything in him not to grab the man.
Of course, the situation had helped. They were desperately trying to leave Starhaven, and it had been fairly easy to focus on keeping Kael safe and getting everyone out.
Then, Kael had stayed away from Ridge, making it easy for him to keep his distance, even though his cat hadn’t been happy.
His cat was incredibly happy now, though. Kael was walking next to Ridge, and while it was obvious that he was nervous and a little jumpy, he wasn’t running away, which Ridge took as a good sign.
But they needed to talk. Kael knew now. Even though he was a demon, he understood how important mates were to shifters.
He knew what Ridge wanted. It was what every shifter wanted, or at least, every shifter in their right mind.
Who would refuse their mate? Who wouldn’t want someone in their life the way only a mate could be?
Certainly not Ridge. He wasn’t sure how that would work with his job, but he was willing to do pretty much anything for Kael.
Kael was it for him, and that was important, even though he hadn’t been planning on settling down anytime soon.
He’d trained to become a council assassin for a few years.
He was one now, but it hadn’t been that long.
He didn’t have to fear for his job security or anything like that, but he wasn’t sure what Kael thought of his job.
Would he want Ridge to quit? If Ridge did, what else could he do?
Could he find another job within the council organization, or would he have to find something outside of it?
He didn’t really care. Being a council assassin wasn’t his lifelong dream. It was something he was good at, which was why he’d been offered a spot in the program, but he could find something else. He wasn’t sure what that something else would be, but he didn’t have to know right now.
He was rushing ahead. Kael hadn’t asked him to quit his job. In fact, they hadn’t talked about it or anything else yet. They hadn’t even properly talked about being mates.
But that was about to change.
When they reached Poppy’s house, it was easy to see that it was empty.
There was no music or smell of food in the air.
There were no sounds, either, and while Ridge wondered where Poppy was, he was also relieved that she wasn’t here.
If she had been, they would’ve had to take this conversation to the bedroom, which would’ve made things even more awkward.
There, Kael wouldn’t have had anywhere to go.
He would’ve been stuck with Ridge, which wasn’t what Ridge wanted.
He didn’t want his mate to feel like he couldn’t go anywhere.
That was why he stopped in the small living room and turned to face his mate. He heard Kael swallow loudly and wondered how nervous the man was.
Kael had to know that this wasn’t as important for him as it was for Ridge, right?
Ridge would never have another mate, but Kael didn’t have a mate bond since he was a demon.
He could date anyone he wanted. He might miss Ridge initially, but the feeling would fade if they stayed apart.
It wasn’t fair, but it was what it was, and if that was what Kael wanted, Ridge would have to learn to deal with it.
But it wouldn’t do any good to catastrophize before he knew what was actually happening. He stared at his mate, wondering where to start. Kael already knew they were mates. What did he need from Ridge? What did he want from him?
There was only one way to find out, and Ridge was suddenly nervous.
When he’d realized that Kael was his mate, he’d been surprised because Kael was a demon, but also pleased.
Not only was Kael clearly a good friend to Nymon—a loving person who wouldn’t allow his best friend to be hurt or leave without him—but he was also a beautiful man.
He didn’t look like anyone Ridge had ever dated, but then Ridge had never dated a demon.
Kael’s hair was green, as were his swirling eyes.
He had a tail, which Ridge wasn’t quite sure what to do with, but he didn’t need to know, not right now.
He imagined that whatever Kael wanted, he would tell him, and Ridge couldn’t wait.
He just wasn’t sure where to start. Should he get straight to the point, or should he let Kael take the first step?
After all, Kael hadn’t had confirmation that they were mates until now.
He probably had a dozen questions, even though he might know the answer to a lot of them already through Nymon.
Ridge almost groaned. What did Nymon and Kael talk about?
Did they talk about him? Would Kael expect things Ridge didn’t know about because of his best friend?
Nymon’s relationship with Tex seemed to be much easier than whatever was happening between Ridge and Kael.
Ridge wasn’t quite sure what to do about that or if there was anything he should do about it.
Kael cleared his throat. “I guess we should probably talk?”
Ridge nodded once. Yes, that was the best thing they could do. They needed to talk. He needed to be honest about what he wanted and what he was willing to give.
“Did you know?” he asked.
Kael hesitated, then shrugged. “In a way, maybe. I guess I don’t feel it the way you do, but I suspected there was something between us. It wasn’t that hard to make the jump from that to me being your mate, even though it feels surreal.”
“I’m sorry.”
Kael shook his head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.
You didn’t choose me as your mate. You’re not pushing me into something I’m not ready for.
Hell, you gave me the space I was desperate for.
You didn’t push, didn’t come after me and demand we sit down and talk.
I don’t know why you did that, but thank you. ”
“How could I not do that? It’s what my mate needed, and that’s what I wanted to give him.”
Kael’s cheeks flushed. “Is it ever going to stop being weird to hear myself called your mate?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been anyone’s mate before.”
“You won’t ever be anyone’s mate after, either.”
It was Ridge’s turn to swallow. “I won’t. You’re my mate, whatever you think about that. I don’t expect anything from you. You should be allowed to do whatever you want, no matter what fate has decided for you.”
“What do you want from me, then?”
“Whatever you’re willing to give me.” Because having some part of Kael was better than not having him at all, Ridge wasn’t willing to risk it.
If Kael never wanted to talk about their bond again, that was fine.
It might be stupid or ridiculous, but it was what Ridge was willing to accept to make sure that Kael stayed in his life.
He wasn’t ready to give up on their bond yet, though. If there was a chance the two of them could be together as mates, he wanted that chance. He needed Kael to understand that. He didn’t mind waiting, but he wouldn’t be going anywhere.
He reached out and gently stroked down Kael’s cheek. He heard Kael suck in a breath, but the demon didn’t pull away or step back. In fact, he leaned slightly into Ridge’s touch.
“You’re my mate,” Ridge said in a voice that sounded rough to his own ears.
“That’s important to me. I want you to be comfortable and happy.
I think I can make that happen, but of course, you have to be the one to decide that.
I know that you’re scared and focused on other things right now, and that’s okay.
You’re here to do a job, just like I am.
Whatever you need, however long you feel you need to think about it, I can give you that time.
I want to give you time. The bond between us is too precious to rush or force.
I won’t do that. I refuse.” He wasn’t sure he would still feel that way if it took Kael years to accept their bond, but he’d deal with that if he had to.
He hoped he wouldn’t have to.
* * * *
KAEL HAD BEEN THINKING about Ridge and their bond since Ridge had confirmed it was there.
Ridge hadn’t said much after telling Kael that he was willing to give him as much time and space as he needed, and Kael felt a little lost. He understood that Ridge didn’t want to push him, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure he could make his decision on his own.
He’d never had to decide anything like this.
His life had been peaceful and quiet. He’d moved out of his parents’ house into one that the Starhaven leader had chosen for him.
They’d known he wanted to be near Nymon, and they’d agreed.
The two of them were similar demons, anyway, so it had made sense.
They both dealt with plants, so that was what they’d done most of their lives. It was how Starhaven and most of the demon world worked. Every demon was expected to use their power as it had been assigned to them when they were born, based on the color they were.