Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
Rain
As I come awake, my head is pounding, and my mouth tastes like what I’d imagine a rat’s ass tastes like.
My stomach rolls as I sit up. I am only just barely able to stumble to the bathroom before I empty my stomach.
Why did I drink so much?
Oh, yeah. My father hates me, and my betrothed is a complete asshole.
I wait until the feeling of nausea fades before I wipe my mouth with toilet paper and flush it all down the drain. Then I manage to get myself to my feet and hover over the sink as I use my finger to spread toothpaste in my mouth. Once done, I wash my hands, then splash water on my face.
The woman looking back at me looks rough. She looks like she has been through hell and back.
I ignore my reflection and head back out into the living room, where Aspen and Maggie are sitting up with coffee in their hands.
“Do you want some?” Maggie asks softly.
I nod, but then wince as my head pounds harder from the movement.
She gets up as I take a seat next to Aspen, resting my head on her shoulder.
“You’re feeling it this morning, huh?” she asks.
“How are you so put together?” I ask.
“I didn’t drink half a bottle of tequila by myself, babe. You took two shots to our every one.”
I groan. “I hate past me.”
She chuckles. “It’ll all be okay.”
Maggie brings me my coffee, then sits on my other side.
“Here, take these.” Aspen holds out ibuprofen from the table side.
I swallow the pills, then sip my coffee.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime,” Aspen says.
“Do you want to talk about it now?” Maggie asks.
“Didn’t I complain enough last night?”
Aspen gives me this look. “Not exactly. You mostly complained about Ridge and listed all of his worst qualities over and over again.”
I try to think back to last night. I did spend quite a bit of time talking poorly of the man. I thought he wasn’t so bad after he took care of me after my father died. Now I realize it was all part of the plan. He is the worst person to have ever lived.
“I’m supposed to marry him, and I don’t even like him,” I admit.
“Let me ask you this. Is marrying him that bad? You don’t have to have sex with him. You could live your separate lives and be married,” Aspen says.
“I never wanted to be married, and I definitely don’t want to marry someone I hate. I don’t know. The inheritance doesn’t mean that much to me.”
Maggie nods. “Then you do what’s best for you, and we will support you.”
I feel guilty now. If I do what I planned to do, I will never see either of these women again. Here they are being good friends to me, and I’m already planning my exit strategy.
I clear my throat. “I’m going to go shower.”
“You can shower here,” Maggie offers.
“No. My things are in my car at the clubhouse, and no one will be out this early. I’ll shower there. Thank you, guys, for hanging out with me last night.”
“No thanks needed,” Maggie says.
“It’s what friends do,” Aspen adds.
I leave them there, hating the guilt that settles deeper.
The entire walk back to the clubhouse, I think about what my original plan was.
I had hoped to get into my truck and pick a random dot on the map to relocate to.
If I didn’t like the place, I would do the same until I found a place to settle.
I wasn’t even planning on money from Dad.
I have my own little savings that would have lasted me a year or two if I were able to get quick work wherever I ended up.
I can still do that, but it feels wrong now. I thought I would have nothing left here, but Aspen and Maggie proved that wrong last night.
Maybe I can keep in touch with them when I go.
Quietly, I sneak into the room that was once my dad’s. All of his things are still here, as are mine. Without dwelling on it too long, I grab a change of clothes and head to the bathroom down the hall.
Showering doesn’t take long, but I stand under the spray until I no longer feel like the walking dead. After drying and changing, I head out of the bathroom only to bump smack dab in the middle of someone’s chest.
“Ow,” I mumble, my head not enjoying the jolt.
“Sorry. Are you okay?”
I look up, narrowing my eyes at Ridge.
“Haven’t you hurt me enough?” I snap at him.
He winces. “I never wanted to hurt you. Mustang didn’t either. He only wanted you to be cared for.”
“I don’t need anyone caring for me. I don’t need his inheritance. I don’t need any of it. I just want to leave and never see this place again,” I spit at him.
He bows his head. “Of course. If that is your wish, then that’s what will happen.”
“You’re not going to try to convince me to marry you so you can get that stupid bike you have always coveted?” I let venom seep into my words.
It’s the truth, though. He spent hours with my dad rebuilding that bike. He loved it as much as my father did. I wasn’t surprised that Dad left it to him, only that he locked his golden boy into the same hell as me.
“I won’t do anything you don’t want to do. Do I want the bike? Yeah. It has a lot of sentimental value for me, but not at the cost of you. It wouldn’t be worth it. I will let the lawyer know that we will not marry and to proceed however he sees fit. Take care of yourself, Rain.”
The melancholy look on his face has the guilt from before coming back with a vengeance. Why should I feel guilty? He was my father. He fucked me over, and yet I feel bad for Ridge?
How the fuck is that right? Sighing, I head down the hall, but the feeling that I am making the wrong decision sits right there on the edge of my mind like a thought that won’t go away.
Ridge
Seeing Rain this morning was a sucker punch to the gut.
I knew she wouldn’t like the stipulations that Mustang put forth, but I never thought she would feel so strongly about it.
I can’t believe she is willing to give up everything.
Not just the money, but her family home.
That place holds so many positive memories for me, so I know that it’s triple-fold for her.
“Why are you sulking over here alone?” Wolf asks as he settles in next to me, Yak taking the other side.
“I still can’t believe he is gone,” I admit.
They nod solemnly.
“He was a good man. I only knew him a little while, and he was already sick by that point, but he always had a joke. He loved to make people laugh,” Wolf reminisces.
“He was always good to us prospects too,” Yak adds. “Even when we were getting the shittiest duties, Mustang would always come do something fun with us.”
I smile. “He started that after me. He took me in as his own and realized that if he gave the prospects a taste of what the life was really like outside of all the hazing, they were more likely to stay. He became an ambassador of sorts.”
“It’s a shame the new prospects won’t have that.”
I frown. It really is a shame. Or I could continue his legacy.
“Maybe I’ll take the two newbies out next week. Show them a little of the life,” I murmur.
“I think that is a great idea.” Wolf nods to me.
“Onto the real reason we are here…are you going to marry her?” Yak asks.
“Jesus fuck, Yak. Have some class. The man might not want to talk about it,” Wolf hisses at him.
“He needs to talk to someone. I can understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to Panther or Eagle. That’s why he has us,” Yak throws back at him.
“Maybe he doesn’t even like us. Did you consider that? Shit, I don’t know why I like you. You’re like a gnat that won’t go away.” Wolf huffs.
Yak blows him a kiss before looking back at me. “I knew you loved me. Back to the question. Are you going to marry her?”
I shake my head. “I asked her again this morning, and she said she has no desire to marry me.”
“Could she marry someone else?” Wolf asks.
“I’d do it for her,” Yak adds.
I glare at him. “No. It has to be me. I was named specifically. Stay away from her.”
“Oh, touchy. Got it.” Yak winks at me. “If she won’t marry you, though, doesn’t that mean she loses her family home?”
I sigh. “Yes. She loses everything. I can’t make her change her mind, though. I won’t force her.”
“Have you even tried? I mean, have you laid it out for her like it would be a business arrangement rather than a love match? She is angry—understandably so, because this is fucked—but maybe with a clearer head, she could see this as a positive. She marries you for a few years, gets her inheritance, then she can divorce you, and you both move on. Has anyone said those words to her?” Yak asks.
I look down at my hands. “I don’t know. She doesn’t really want to see me.”
“Do you blame her? I mean, you knew about this and didn’t tell her,” Wolf reminds me.
“I should have told her. I really did think he would change his mind. We talked about it a lot, and I thought I had him convinced. Still, I should have warned her, but I was scared. Scared that she would go to him and say things she didn’t mean.
I was worried that her anger would kill him faster.
It was selfish, I know. I don’t blame her if she doesn’t forgive me,” I admit.
“Ridge, buddy, you can’t blame yourself.
Sure, maybe you should have said something, but he should have told her himself.
He was obviously keeping secrets, but the man was a good person.
Everything he ever did, he had a reason.
I bet he had his reasons for this too.” Yak’s positive tone both pisses me off and makes me grateful to have him as a brother.
“He was worried she would leave town. He was right to worry. That is what she plans to do. He didn’t want her leaving this club, her family.”
Yak smiles at me. “Then maybe you need to try to talk to her one last time. I mean, if she is already planning to leave, and she already hates your guts, what do you have to lose?”
He’s not wrong. I have nothing left to lose. Mustang is already gone, and Rain isn’t far behind him in her own way.
I rub the back of my neck.
“I don’t know.”
“You won’t know until you try,” Wolf adds. “If I had given up the first time Aspen wanted me to go, I wouldn’t be here right now. I know my life would be worse because of it. Isn’t it worth fighting for?”
Is Rain worth fighting for? Fuck yes.
I want to respect her decision, but they are right. I need to try to get her to see reason. She might hate me now, but I hope one day she will see that everything I did was for her. To protect her. To give her what she deserves.
“All right. I’ll talk to her. I just need to go talk to the lawyer first. Figure out some of the fine print and see if there is anything I can save should she still say no,” I tell them, standing.
“Thatta boy. She’s with Aspen right now, so you do what you got to do, then go see your girl. Everything will work out.” Wolf stands, patting me on the shoulder.
“Group hug?” Yak asks, holding his arms out.
Both Wolf and I push his shoulder, laughing as I head out the door and they head back to whatever they were doing before they interrupted my day.
This has to work, because if not, I don’t know how I will be able to live with the guilt.