Chapter 60
CHAPTER
SIXTY
ELODIE
Beyond exhausted. That’s what I would call myself. I didn’t expect it to happen, but after I changed my clothes and headed to the first job, I felt full of energy. Then, three o’clock came around, and so did the crash.
No amount of coffee will get me moving or get me through this. I could chew on coffee beans at this point, and I’m pretty sure I could still sleep standing up.
I’m exhausted.
“Do you think they’re going to get all of this figured out?” Alex asks as he wraps up the vacuum cleaner cord.
I know what he’s talking about, and I’ve been thinking about it all day long. I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen. What I do know is that I’m all in with whatever it is, completely and totally in, because I’ve fallen in love with this man. There’s no denying it.
I love Coast Riley.
And it’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
But I’m willing to get completely crushed like a bug by the heel of his thick boots if this doesn’t work out. The way I feel right now, I know it’s going to be worth any heartache that comes my way.
Missing out on this would probably hurt a hell of a lot more.
I hope that I remember this moment, this emotion, in the future. And I hope like hell that I agree with my current feelings on the matter. I think it would be a lot worse to live with the unknown in life than to live with the pain of what could happen.
Because even if it doesn’t work out and he ruins me, I’ll have moments like this. Moments of excitement and ecstasy. It will be worth it. I know it. I can feel it deep in my bones. This is going to be worth the ride.
“I hope so,” I whisper, answering his question.
There is a long moment of silence where we just watch one another, and then Alex smirks, shaking his head and breaking our connection as he turns to grab a dusting rag and the polish.
“I hope they do,” he states.
Even though I know he’s not in love with me and Coast being together, I can tell he’s letting it go, at least for now. I’m sure he’ll voice his opinions all over again. Like the second Coast hurts my feelings or does anything to make me cry, he’s going to say I told you so.
I’m just going to go ahead and expect it at this point.
There’s nothing else for me to do about it.
I’ve made the conscious decision to go all in with Coast, and I’m going to make this work.
I want to make it work. There is something about him, about the way he makes me feel, that tells me we’re supposed to be together.
Alex and I don’t say much else. As we finish up, it’s clear that he’s dragging ass, too. Clearly, we are not meant to be out the way we have been. We are both missing our beauty sleep.
Once the house is finished, I grab my envelope from the counter that contains my check and lock up. We head down the walkway toward the car on the curb.
As I open the trunk of my car, I look around and take in the neighborhood.
It’s a quiet street; not many cars drive down here, and the yards are all neatly kept with rocks, cacti, and drought-friendly shrubbery.
This is what I would envision when I was a kid as a fairy tale.
Granted, I’m here cleaning, and I don’t live here, but this is within my reach now.
“You good?” Alex asks.
I turn to look over at him, and my lips curve up into a grin. “I’m good,” I murmur. “I was just looking around this neighborhood. It’s really nice. Really quiet.”
Alex snorts. “And you’re thinking about all the dreams we talked about as kids?”
“This was the dream, or something like this.”
“It was,” he murmurs. “When we were kids, we thought every person behind a house like this lived a perfect life. Are you going to get it with him?”
I think about his question. Perfection. That’s something I haven’t dreamed of in years. In fact, I gave up on any chance of having a perfect anything a long time ago. But also, it feels like it could be a reality with him.
Coast lives at the clubhouse right now, though I can’t imagine he’d want me to live there. He’s already said he wants me and Alex to move to a different place. I wonder if that’s still what he’s thinking.
But I also can’t imagine him living in a suburb like this. I cannot picture his bike rumbling down a quiet road and pulling into one of these driveways. The thought alone makes me want to burst out in laughter.
“I can’t see him living here,” I confess.
Alex snorts before he mumbles a yeah. I wonder what else he’s thinking as he finishes loading everything up in the trunk of the car. I want to ask him, but at the same time, I’m not sure I really want to know the answer.
“I’m exhausted. Do you want to get something to eat on the way home? I didn’t put any of the cash from the event center job in the bank. It’s in my wallet. I figured we’d look at maybe using it as a down payment on a car or something. But I think we can get some dinner with it?”
Walking toward the driver’s side, I tug the door open and start to sit down when I realize that Alex hasn’t moved from the trunk. Turning my head, I look back at him. He really hasn’t moved, though. He’s standing there, slack-jawed, staring at me.
“Alex?” I call out.
“A down payment on a car?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” I say. “I mean, we can call it a work expense or whatever, but I wanted to talk to you about that, too.”
He swallows, blinking, and doesn’t speak, so I continue. “I know I started this before you came to live with me, but I wanted to make you a partner. Without you, I never would have been able to survive.”
Alex shakes his head from side to side but doesn’t speak. Then I watch as he lifts his hands, presses them against the trunk, and marches directly over to me. He stops in front of me, but not before he throws his arms around me.
“Stop being nice to me when I was such a fucking dick to you,” he whispers against my ear.
I laugh, wrapping my arms around him to hug him back, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment.
It’s been a long time since we just hugged one another.
Probably years, if I had to guess. And I couldn’t even tell you when or why we did, though it was probably because of some life event that seemed tragic at the time.
“I’m not being nice to you,” I whisper. “You’ve earned it.”
And that is that… for now. We break away, climb into the car, and then head straight for dinner because I’m starving and I know he must be, too. The conversation is dropped, and food takes priority.