Chapter Seven
River
There’s nothing quite like the sound of your past sneaking up on you disguised as the familiar ringtone of a man you should’ve blocked a long time ago.
Christian’s name flashes on my screen, and for a second, I think about hurling the damn phone into the nearest horse trough. Instead, like the glutton for punishment I apparently am, I swipe to answer, and just like that, every scar he left burns fresh again.
I give a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure no one is in earshot before I hiss, “What the fuck do you want?”
“That’s not a very nice greeting, darlin’. How’s Montana treating you?”
What the fuck? How does he know where I am?
My knees wobble, and I have to lean against a nearby post to stay upright. “I’m not your darlin’. You lost the right to call me that a long time ago.”
“Now, River. Don’t be like that. I just wanted to see how you’re doing. Catch up. It’s been a long time.”
“Funny, because I have a piece of paper that says you’re not supposed to call me. Or text me. Or be anywhere near me.”
He chuckles, and the sound makes me cringe. “You can’t stay away from me forever, baby.”
“Watch me.”
“Come on, now. There’s no reason for the hostility.”
“No reason?” The question comes out more like a screech than actual words. “You hit me. You abused me. You—”
“And I apologized. Come on, baby. It’s been a long time. Let’s just meet for coffee. I’ve been going to therapy. Remember how you used to beg me to see a shrink? Well, I did. And it’s working. I’m a changed man.”
“You’re full of shit, and I’m not falling for it again. Stay the fuck away from me.”
“You don’t mean that. You’re just mad. You’ll forgive me. Eventually.”
“No, I won’t. Goodbye, Christian.”
“I’ll give you a day or two to cool off, and then maybe I’ll take a drive up there and see if you’ve changed your tune.”
“You do that, and I’ll call the police and have you arrested. I mean it, Christian. Don’t contact me again.”
Before he can respond, I hang up the phone.
It takes a few seconds for the shock to wear off. My entire body is shaking. It’s not from fear. No, it’s pure, unfiltered rage. How dare he call me? How dare he threaten to come here? After everything he did, how dare he have the balls to try to weasel his way back into my life?
The bastard has some nerve.
I pace a few circles around the fence line, trying to get my emotions in check. Somehow, that asshole found out where I am, but how? I’ve stayed off social media and cut off almost all ties with my old life. And no one here would ever tell him. So how did he find me?
My first instinct is to call my father, but I know exactly how that conversation will go. He’ll find Christian and beat the hell out of him, and probably wind up in jail for assault. That’s the last thing I want. So I’m going to have to figure this out on my own.
With a deep breath, I square my shoulders and start walking toward the barn. If nothing else, I can focus on something else for a little while. Work is a perfect distraction.
As soon as I step inside the barn, the smell of leather, hay, and horses envelopes me, and the tension in my shoulders eases. This is exactly where I need to be. Linux neighs nearby, and I smile as I walk over and rub his nose.
“Hey, handsome,” I greet him. “How are you today?”
Linux bumps his head against my chest, and I wrap my arms around him and scratch his neck. He’s such a beautiful animal. Strong and smart. Life hasn’t worn him down yet, and I hope it never does. I know Colby wants him trained and compliant, but he’s got so much heart and passion.
I know what it’s like to have your spirit broken by the world. It’s a dark and lonely place.
But he’s a fighter. And he deserves better.
Just like me.
We’re stronger than our circumstances. And no matter what happens, I won’t let the darkness break him.
The sun is starting to set out beyond the mountains. The sky is lit up in bright shades of pink and orange. It’s breathtaking. But when I hear the sound of Colby’s footsteps coming from the barn, the beauty is quickly forgotten.
I’ve been avoiding him since the incident in the barn a few nights ago. Not because I didn’t enjoy it, but because I’m worried if I spend too much time alone with him, I’ll give in. And I can’t do that. No matter how much I want him, I have to stay focused on my job and getting my life together.
I can’t fall back into bad habits.
“There you are, Thurston. I’ve been looking for you.”
I hold my arms out wide and gesture to the empty space around me. “Here I am.”
Colby steps inside the stall and crosses his arms over his chest, looking every bit the intimidating cowboy I’ve grown to crave. “You busy? I need a hand fixing a fence down by the pond.”
Of course, out of all the ranch hands on this property, he wants me to help him. I should probably call him out, tell him I see right past this ploy to get me alone, but the words don’t come. Instead, I just ask, “Right now?”
“Yeah, right now. It’s gonna be dark soon. Best to get it done.”
“All right.”
I follow Colby out of the barn and over to the four-wheeler. Once I climb on behind him, I place my hands on my knees as if I don’t realize I’m going to have to put my arms around him at home point if I don’t want to fly off this thing.
“Ready?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder.
I nod, and Colby revs the engine, taking off like a bat out of hell. The force throws me backward, and I have to grab his jacket just to keep from falling off.
He turns his head to look at me, and the smirk on his face is downright sinful. I’d like to smack him right now, but that would require me to let go of his coat, and given how fast he’s driving, that’s not happening.
“Hold on tight, River. Wouldn’t want you to fall.”
“Shut up and drive, Burke.”
He laughs but then turns his attention back to the trail in front of us. The terrain is rocky, and the wheel-e is bouncing over every bump, making it difficult for me to hang on, so like it or not, I have to cozy right on up to him.
My hands slip around his front, and I can feel the hard, rippled muscles of his stomach through his shirt. They contract as I slide my hands lower, and when they reach the top of his pants, Colby sucks in a breath.
I smirk. Take that, cowboy.
The sun has all but set by the time we reach the far edge of the pond. As soon as the ATV stops, I climb off and brush myself off.
“This the place?” I ask, looking over the fence.
“Yep. Come on. The fence is down a ways.”
We walk the length of the fence, and when we come across a downed tree and a pile of barbed wire, Colby stops.
“Here we go. Gather the wires, and I’ll get the fence stretcher off the back of the ATV.”
“You got it, boss.”
As he walks off, I pick up the barbed wire and toss it to the side and then move to the downed tree. It’s a large oak, and I doubt I’ll be able to move it, but I’m going to give it my best shot.
“Let me,” Colby says, jogging over and putting his hand on the trunk. “You start stacking the fence poles, and I’ll take care of this.”
I roll my eyes but do as he asks. If he wants to be macho and carry the damn tree, I’ll let him.
While Colby lifts the tree, grunting as he does, I gather the wooden fence posts and lay them in the proper spot. I’ve just got the last one laid out when a deafening crack sounds above me, making me jump out of my skin. I look up to see a flash of light, followed by another thunderous boom.
“Shit,” Colby mutters, dropping the tree. “That’s a bad one.”
That’s the thing about the mountains. These storms can sneak up on the other side of the range and be on top of you before you realize what’s happening. Another loud crack sounds above us, and I instinctively duck.
“Come on,” he tells me. “There’s an old shack just over the rise. We can wait out the storm there.”
Colby grabs the stretcher and starts running, and I’m right on his heels. Rain starts pouring down, soaking us to the bone. It pelts my face and obscures my vision. The wind whips the wet strands of my hair into a frenzy, and I’m thankful for the wide-brimmed hat on my head.
We crest the hill, and a small shack comes into view. Colby runs ahead, and I follow, nearly slipping on the wet ground. He’s waiting at the door with the latch lifted, and as soon as I’m through, he follows me and closes it behind him.
“Damn,” I breathe, taking in our surroundings.
The shack is small, with a dirt floor and a single table with a lantern. A few tools and odds and ends are stacked in the corner, and a single blanket is folded on the floor.
“Yeah, not the Four Seasons, but it’ll do.” Colby shrugs. “We’ve got a few of these spread throughout the property. We use them for storage, or sometimes, if we have to camp out.”
“Makes sense.”
“It’ll be a good thirty minutes before the worst is over. Maybe an hour,” Colby says, sitting down on the blanket and leaning against the wall.
“Great.” I sit down too, tucking my knees into my chest.
“I wouldn’t have dragged you out here if I’d known there was a storm coming. Should’ve checked the radar before we left.”
“It’s fine. Nothing we can do about it now.”
I stare down at my hands, wishing there was something, anything, to distract me from the fact that Colby and I are alone in a tiny shed during a thunderstorm.
The rain beats down on the tin roof, the wind whistles outside, and lightning flashes overhead, lighting up the shack and revealing his handsome face.
I don’t dare look at him. He’s too close. And the storm outside has nothing on the one brewing inside me.
“You wanna play twenty questions or something?” Colby asks.
“Pass.”
“Then how about we play the quiet game. The first one to talk loses.”
I glare at him. “We’re not six.”
“Fine. Have it your way.”
Colby leans his head against the wall and stares straight ahead. I watch him for a few seconds, admiring the lines of his face and the stubble along his jaw. His hair is wet from the rain and hanging in loose waves across his forehead. He’s gorgeous, and he doesn’t even have to try.
I wish I could read his mind. What is he thinking? Does he regret bringing me out here? Or does he want to kiss me again as much as I want him to kiss me?
Stop it. You’re letting your guard down.
I look away. There’s no point in trying to read his thoughts. Even if he wants me, it doesn’t change anything. He’s still Colby Burke, and I’m still the girl who’s had her heart shattered one too many times.
We sit in silence, listening to the rain and thunder. The storm is still raging outside, and there’s no sign of it slowing anytime soon. I’m shivering, but there’s no firewood in here, and there’s no way in hell I’m going out there to find some.
“Damn, you’re cold. You’re shivering,” Colby says, looking over at me.
“I’m fine.”
He scoffs. “You’re not fine. You’re shivering. Come here.”
Colby grabs my hand and tugs, and the next thing I know, he’s pulling me into his lap.
“What the hell, Colby?”
“Relax, River. You’re freezing. My body heat will warm you up faster than any of the bullshit arguments you’re about to throw at me.”
I want to argue, but damn, he’s warm. Despite myself, I sink against his chest and sigh.
“See? Isn’t that better?”
“Shut up.”
Colby laughs, and his chest vibrates against my back. His arms tighten around me, and my stomach flutters.
“River?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you do something for me?”
“Depends.”
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I look at you, you’ll kiss me. And if you kiss me, I’ll want more. And if we keep doing this, it’s just going to end in heartbreak. Again. I can’t do that again, Colby. I won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“But I do. Because that’s the way my life goes. I meet a guy, he sweeps me off my feet, and then next thing you know, my life is a fucking disaster, and I’m scrambling to pick up the pieces. Well, I can’t do it again. Not for you. Not for anyone.”
Colby doesn’t say anything.
“So, no, Colby. I won’t look at you, because if I do, I’m going to want to kiss you. And if I kiss you, there won’t be any turning back.”
“You’re scared.”
“Damn right, I’m scared. I’m fucking terrified.”
His jaw ticks against the side of my head. “You know I was married once, right?”
Now, I do look at him. I sit up so fast, my neck cracks. “You what? Why am I just hearing about this now?”
“I was twenty. We were together three years, and married for two. I thought she was the love of my life, and then one day, she met some rodeo star, and the next thing I knew, she was packing her shit and leaving.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because the pain fades, and eventually, the only thing that hurts is the idea that you could’ve done things differently. I’ve been alone ever since, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Maybe not, but at least you’re safe. You don’t have to worry about someone tearing out your heart and stomping all over it.”
“Or maybe the only way to be safe is to risk getting hurt again. Because if you don’t take the chance, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.
Is that what you want? To live your whole life safe and miserable?
Or do you want to take the chance and have a great love story? Your choice.”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Because damn it, he’s right. But the risk is huge. If I fall in love with Colby and it ends badly... This is my last safe haven. I have nowhere else to run to next time.
“What if—”
Before I can finish the question, Colby kisses me. It’s gentle and tender. Like he’s trying to convince me with his mouth instead of his words. And damn it, it’s working.
My hands fist his shirt, and I tug him closer, needing to feel the heat of his skin against mine. His lips part, and his tongue swipes against mine. His kiss is intoxicating. His touch is consuming. And every inch of my body aches to be closer.
With one arm around my waist, he uses his other hand to tilt my head back. A moan snakes it way out of my lips, and everything in me wants to let go and get lost in him.
But I can’t. I’m not ready to hand myself over, even though my entire being is screaming for it.
Reluctantly, I pull away. Our breaths come out in heavy pants, and his hazel eyes are filled with so much heat, they could start a wildfire.
“I want to,” I tell him, cupping his cheek. “But I’m just...not ready, Colby.”
He lets out a slow, shaky breath. “It’s okay, darlin’. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Colby places a tender kiss on my forehead, and we both lean back against the wall, cuddled close to one another. We’re soaked to the bone and trapped inside this little shack, and yet, right now, it feels like the safest place on Earth.