Chapter Twelve
Colby
With River Thurston, it’s starting to feel like I’m playing a losing hand.
She’s been shutting me out ever since Christian’s little encore performance, and she’s retreated into that tough-as-nails shell of hers.
But I’ve got news for her: I’m not going anywhere.
If I’ve gotta fight tooth and nail to prove I’m not like every other man who’s let her down, then so be it.
The question is, what’s it gonna take to convince her to let me in?
I know what she’s afraid of, and it’s not me. She’s scared of getting hurt. Scared of falling in love, and I can’t blame her. She’s been through the wringer.
Her ex-boyfriend, Christian, is a grade-A asshole. But I’m not him. And I’m going to make her see that.
When she comes out into the living room wearing a tight black tank top and those jeans that hug her curves, I nearly swallow my tongue.
Goddamn, she’s hot. Her hair is down, falling over her shoulders, and her makeup is done.
She doesn’t usually wear much, but tonight, her eyes are smokey, and her lips are painted a bright red.
“Hey, you look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you ready to go?”
“Almost. I just have to grab my bag. I’ll be right back.”
While she’s in the other room, I take a few deep breaths and try to calm the fuck down. It’s just a night out. It’s not a date. Not really. And even if it was, it shouldn’t matter.
I’ve dated plenty of women over the years. But I’ve never felt this way. And it’s scaring the shit out of me.
“All right, ready.”
“Great.”
She smiles at me, but it’s not real. There’s something about it. It’s fake. Forced.
“So, where are we going?”
“Well, I figured we could go to the rodeo, grab some dinner. Sound good?”
“Yeah, sounds great.”
I lead her out the front door and lock it behind us. Once we’re both in the truck, I turn the key and the engine roars to life.
“Buckle up.”
She laughs, and the sound fills my chest. “You’re not my dad, Colby. I don’t need you telling me to buckle up.”
“Maybe not. But you can’t blame a guy for looking out for his best girl, can you?”
Her cheeks flush, and she glances down. “I don’t know about that.”
“Well, I do. You’re my girl, River. Even if you can’t see it yet.”
She cocks her head and squints at me. “What the hell are you saying, Burke? Are you confessing your love or something?”
“Maybe,” I tease.
“Maybe, huh?”
I keep my eyes fixed on the road when I say, “Definitely.”
She’s quiet for a long moment, and I risk a glance her way. She’s staring at me, and those blue eyes of hers are so full of emotion, they steal my breath.
“Colby, I...” She shakes her head.
“It’s okay, River. I’m not expecting anything from you. But I do want you to know that the other night... It wasn’t just sex. Not for me. And maybe I’m crazy, but I think it was more than that for you too.”
“Colby, please,” she whispers.
“Just hear me out. Please. And after, if you want me to shut up and leave you alone, I will. I promise. I’ll never mention it again.”
She nods, and the look in her eyes tells me I have her permission to keep going. Thank God I’m driving, because if I had to look at her while I say this, I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to get it all out.
“You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, and when I’m with you, I feel like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.
You’re beautiful and funny, and you don’t take any shit.
And that’s sexy as hell. You’ve been through a lot, River.
I know that. And I want to be the one to help you through the hard stuff.
I want to be there for you. To protect you.
To take care of you. And not because I want to control you or because I’m some macho asshole who thinks women need a man.
But because I care about you. More than you know. Because I love you, River.”
River takes a shuddering breath and lets out a soft sob. “How?”
“What do you mean?”
“How can you love me? After everything. After seeing how messed up I am and what kind of baggage I come with.”
Her words tear into me like a goddamn machete. Every speck of air in my lungs turns to ice, and I swear to god, it’s like a dagger to my heart. I have to pull the truck to the side of the road before I crash the damn thing.
I twist in my seat to face her and grip her chin.
“Look at me, River.”
She does, and her eyes are so full of emotion, they suck the oxygen from the space between us.
“You’re not messed up. You’ve had a hard time, yeah.
But who hasn’t? Life is full of ups and downs.
Good times and bad. And it’s the bad times that shape us.
Make us stronger. Wiser. More compassionate.
And none of that makes you broken or damaged.
It makes you a warrior. A fighter. A survivor.
You’ve been through hell and back, and you’ve come out stronger for it.
So don’t you dare talk about yourself like that. Not in front of me. Got it?”
She nods, and her chin trembles. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Thurston. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Nothing. Do you understand me?”
“Yes,” she breathes.
“Good.”
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them, the sadness is gone, and she’s giving me a shy smile. “So you love me, huh? That’s pretty bold, Burke.”
“That’s me, babe. Bold as fucking brass. And you’re just going to have to get used to it because I’m not going anywhere.”
She laughs as I pull the truck back onto the road and head for town. “We’ll see about that.”
When we arrive at the rodeo, the parking lot is packed, and it takes us a while to find a spot. The crowd is huge, and as we weave through the throng, River’s hand slips into mine. My heart soars, and I can’t hide my smile.
“This is nice,” she says. “I haven’t been to a rodeo since I was a kid.”
“Then it’s about time. There’s nothing better than a night at the rodeo, in my opinion.”
We find a spot close to the arena, and River climbs up onto the railing. She looks out at the field, and her face lights up as the announcer starts calling the names of the cowboys and cowgirls who will compete.
“Who are we cheering for tonight, cowboy?” she asks.
“Oh, I think we should cheer for the underdog. The outsider. What do you say?”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
“All right then. We’re going with the guy from Florida. What’s his name... Ah, hell, I forgot.”
“Well, how about you call him, Florida Boy, then,” she teases.
“Sounds good.”
The announcer calls out Florida Boy’s real name, but neither of us hears it. Instead, we both start shouting, “Florida Boy! Florida Boy!”
A couple of people around us join in, and soon the whole place is chanting his name. When he enters the ring, a roar rises from the crowd, and River and I both cheer like maniacs.
“Go, Florida Boy!”
River is smiling ear to ear, and her eyes are alight with excitement. It’s the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time, and I’m loving every second of it.
The rodeo starts, and we watch as the competitors battle it out in the ring. The announcer calls out the scores, and the crowd cheers and groans, depending on the outcome.
When Florida Boy wins, we both shout and cheer. He holds up his hat and waves, and the crowd goes wild.
After a few minutes, the energy dies down, and the next event starts. River and I make our way over to concessions and order two beers and a bucket of popcorn. We find a spot in the stands, and River leans against my shoulder.
“So, you having fun yet, Thurston?”
“Yep. This is great.”
“I’m glad.”
She turns to face me, and her blue eyes are bright. “Thanks, Colby.”
“For what?”
“For this. For taking me out. For being here. For not giving up on me.”
“Never,” I reply.
“Hey, Burke!” a man shouts from the other end of the bleachers. I follow the sound and find John making his way toward us. “Well isn’t this a treat? I’ve been meaning to get back out to your ranch to have a conversation with River, and it seems like fate’s brought us all together.”
“Mr. Miller,” River replies.
“Call me John, please. No need to be formal. You’re all grown up now.”
“Right, John,” River agrees. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too.” His eyes drift down to where River’s arm is looped in mine, and I don’t miss the grimace as he takes a seat. “So, has Colby discussed my offer with you yet?”
River tilts her head to look at me and shakes her head. “No, sir. He hasn’t. What offer?”
“It seems I’m going to need a foreman. As soon as possible, really. And with your experience, I think you’d be perfect for the job.”
My fingers curl into fists, and it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to reach out and wrap my hands around the son of a bitch’s neck. He’s trying to steal River away. Right under my goddamn nose. And much to my dismay, River is positively beaming at his proposal.
“Wow, that’s incredible, Mr. Miller. I’m honored.”
“You should be,” he agrees. “We’re one of the biggest ranches in the county, and the job pays well.”
“Well, I don’t know what to say,” she replies. “I’m definitely interested.”
“Perfect. Why don’t you swing by the ranch on Monday morning? We can talk about it more then.”
“Monday’s good for me,” River says.
“Excellent.”
He turns to me, and the smug expression on his face is enough to set my teeth on edge. “Colby. Always a pleasure.”
“John.”
He stands and gives River a polite smile. “I’ll see you on Monday, Miss Thurston.”
“Thank you, sir,” River replies.
River doesn’t turn back to me, and I know exactly why.
She’s avoiding my eyes. She’s afraid of what she’ll see.
Afraid I’ll be hurt or pissed. If she thinks I’m going to try to talk her out of it, she’s wrong.
Of course, I want River to stay. Of course, I want her here.
But what I want doesn’t matter. She needs to do what’s best for her.
Even if that means leaving me.