24. Henley
Henley
Elbow deep in suds, I scrub the pan in my hands until my fingers feel raw.
Emerson and his father have been inside for almost forty minutes.
From what he’s told me, this appears to be the longest he’s been inside since the first two weeks we’ve been home.
Though I’m proud of him for taking such a big step, I can’t help the needling feeling spreading over my skin.
Emerson’s been holding onto something. It follows him like a shadow everywhere he goes. Though he hasn’t told me in detail what is afflicting him so deeply, I can feel it trying to dim his brightness every time it tries to peek through.
It’s almost as though he feels ashamed to be happy.
Gravel crunches behind me, startling me. The pan splashes into the water below, drenching me from head to toe.
“Oh shit!” Em’s deep chuckle bursts free from behind me as he swoops in to grab the hand towel tucked in my apron.
Before the soapy bubbles drip further down my face, I feel the soft brush of cloth against my cheek. Another long, gentle swipe, and he clears my eyes of suds. The sight before me stirs an ache in my chest.
Hair mussed. Eyes red-rimmed and swollen. Whatever went on behind those walls was either incredibly therapeutic, or it went terribly south.
Making one last gentle swipe over my neck, his lips quirk up in satisfaction. “There, all better. Now I can see those beautiful freckles again.”
The sincerity in his words makes me instantly melt. A dazzling bright smile stretches across his face.
Turning away quickly, I grab the pot beside me and dunk it into the warm water. Since that day on the plane, I’ve been failing miserably at appearing indifferent toward him. He’s hurt my heart more than once, yet he’s also the same man who’s helped me heal it.
If I’m honest with myself, Emerson is the only man I’ve ever truly wanted but could never have.
Now it appears the tables have turned just like that night of my going-away party, and his sights are set on me.
As much as I feel this pull between us again, do I trust him enough to believe it’s real this time?
Without a word, he passes behind me and grabs a couple of frying pans and places them on the other side of the sink. We wash silently, side by side, until I can’t take it anymore.
“Everything okay? You were gone for a while.”
He pauses, a smirk lifting his lips as he nudges my shoulder with his. “You were worried about me, Trouble?”
Nibbling on my lip, I nod.
Emerson lifts the clean pans out of the water and sets them aside. Then he turns my body to face his. “Everything’s okay.” He sighs. “You just inspired me to have a much-needed chat with my Dad.”
Drying my wet hands on the towel, I reach for his hand and interlace my fingers with his.
I lift my other to cup his cheek. The stubble of his beard tickles my palm as I brush my thumb in soft strokes against it.
“I know a lot of time has passed between us, but I hope you know you can tell me anything. I’ll always be here to listen.
I want to be here to help you in any way I can. ”
His gaze holds mine so intently, I fear I may lose myself in it. Grabbing the hand on my cheek, he lifts it and places it around his waist. With his other arm, he pulls me into his chest, embracing me tightly. Sliding my other hand around his waist, I squeeze back just as tight.
“Thank you,” he breathes into the crown of my head.
“For what?” I mumble into his hard chest.
He pulls back, enough for me to lift my head and see his face and his warm smile. “For always being there, even now after everything I’ve put you through.” His head dips for a brief moment as he collects his thoughts. “Having you back in my presence reminds me of what it feels like all over again.”
“Of what feels like?” I ask. Nerves prickling underneath my skin.
“To be completely enveloped in your light. You’ve always been able to remind me that the darkness isn’t permanent. That one day, I’ll be able to bask in the sunrise. I’m just hoping—”
Lips parted, the words stall on his tongue. His gaze roams over my face, as if assessing if I’ll be able to handle what he’s about to say.
“What are you hoping for?” I breathe the words so quietly, I’m not even sure if I said it in my head or out loud.
His fingers tighten around my waist, tongue moistening his bottom lip before he speaks. “That maybe one day, I’ll be enjoying that sunrise with you beside me.”
Stunned into silence, I remain motionless as my mind struggles to catch up. Is this his way of telling me he’s ready to give what is going on between us a chance? For real this time.
Threading his fingers through my hair, he gently angles my head upwards. His lips hover just above mine. Swallowing deeply, he closes the last inch of space left between us. My entire body tingles with anticipation.
Smooth lips brush lightly over my nose. A featherlight touch of adoration.
They travel upward at a painfully slow pace.
Brushing against the smooth surface of my forehead and finally pressing against my hair on the crown of my head.
Whispering into my locks, the question I’ve been waiting to hear for years breaks free.
“ I know you feel this pull between us too, Hen. What would you say about giving this another shot?”
A thousand times, yes.
At least, that’s what I wanted to say. Every muscle tenses as I try to speak the words into existence.
But my stubborn brain reminds me of all the times my heart was torn wide open.
Reminds me of all the unknowns of our futures still left hanging up in the air.
Before I leap into this like I desperately want to, I need time. A moment to think things through.
Unlocking my arms from around him, I take a step back. Peering up, I see concern crinkling his forehead, anxiety forcing his jaw to clench tightly.
“I need some time to think about it.”
His eyelids flutter closed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of my answer. Wiping his palm over his face, he erases his expression and does his best to replace it with a smile.
“Take all the time you need.”
An awkward silence passes between us. I twist the ends of my hair through my fingers, letting it calm me like it usually does. Thankfully, Emerson breaks the silence, freeing us both.
“How about I put the rest of this away and you get to bed? We have a big day tomorrow.”
“Big day?” I ask.
A genuine smile breaks free this time. “Yep, tomorrow is day one of interior remodel. First step, paint. Sleep tight, because tomorrow I’m going to work you hard, Trouble.”
With a wink, he sweeps behind me, collecting a stack of pots and pans and heading toward the outdoor storage cabinets.
“Hey, Em?”
Pausing, he turns to face me, and suddenly the nerves hit me all over again.
“It wasn’t a no.”
His head drops, a hint of a smirk tickling his lips. “I know, Trouble. There are things I’ve done in our past that I’m not proud of. But, if you give me another chance, I’ll show you that I can be worthy of your heart. Just like I told you all those years ago.”
The memory of the night in the grass blooms in my mind, causing my heart to pinch inside my chest. The night I was willing to hand over my heart to him entirely if he would have just given me a chance.
“We can talk more about it tomorrow, okay?”
I nod, watching him walk away, taking a little piece of my heart he’s always had along with him.
“You said you had to think about it?” Harper screeches into the phone. “Ah, how the tables have turned. First Em gets cold feet, now you!”
Groaning back into the phone, I ask, “What was I thinking?”
Her soft chuckles whisper through the line. “You were thinking you didn’t want to get hurt again, which is completely understandable. I’m proud of you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re allowing yourself time. Time to get to know this adult version of Em, and for him to learn who you are as well.
Seven years is a lot of time, and although you both have a long history, it’ll be good for you to get to know the parts of each other you’ve missed along the way.
It’ll also give you both time to talk about the future. ”
“What if he changes his mind again? Or what if he realizes that maybe he shouldn’t have said anything in the first place?”
“Babe, I feel that this time around is going to be different. Take the rest of the week off from the bakery and spend time working with that hottie with a body,” she snorts.
“I can’t leave you without help, I can—”
“Nope,” she says firmly, cutting me off. “You take one step in the bakery this week and I’ll kick you right out.”
“Please?” I plead into the phone. “I love being in the bakery with you, it’s been helping me regain my confidence. I can’t imagine going a whole week without it.”
A heavy sigh drifts into the speaker. “You’ve always been stubborn, you know?”
“It’s one of my best qualities,” I snort.
“Fine. But you aren’t working your usual shifts. Just come in on Friday and Saturday. That’s when I need the most help.”
“Thank you, Harper. For everything. You’ve always been such an amazing friend, and I’m so thankful to finally be in the same time zone with you again.”
“Me too, love. Now get some sleep. Sounds like you have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow. You’ll need all your strength for the amount of ogling you’ll be doing.”
Laughter streams through, filling the quiet spaces of my tiny cabin.
“I’m glad you find this so amusing. I’ll be sure to call you out the next time I find you ogling someone.”
“Ha! Good luck with that. I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
My eyebrows shoot up at her blatant fib, and I’m thankful she can’t see me. I wonder when she’s ever going to confess to her crush on my brother.
A yawn breaks free, exhaustion finally settling inside my body. “Alright, bestie. I really do need to head to bed.”
“Night, night. You better keep me updated on this week. Don’t leave me hanging.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I snicker into the phone. “See you Friday.”
Turning off the bedside lamp, I snuggle deeper into the hunter green sheets.
Emerson’s offered me a chance at a future that I’ve always dreamt of. Nerves prickle inside my stomach. Could this be the time when it finally all works out? Could this be the time when it finally all works out?