30. Emerson
Emerson
Henley’s hair twirls in the wind as the truck bounces down the dirt road that leads up to the Cole’s ranch. She’s singing along to a song on the radio with a smile so bright I take a mental picture to remember her in this moment.
She’s radiant. So full of life. So . . . mine.
We hop out of the truck and make our way up the back porch and into the kitchen. Everywhere I look, there are little memories and hints of my childhood. Like the chips that are still on the top of the door molding, where Ryleigh and I had tried to attach a pull-up bar in junior high.
I remember how cool we thought we were, until Ryleigh tried to use it for the first time and he came crashing down on the kitchen floor. Right in front of the group of girls we were trying to impress.
Shaking my head, I chuckle at the memory, catching Hen’s attention.
“What’s so funny over there?” She pauses, setting down the bag of flour and sugar she pulled from the pantry.
Little feet thunder down the stairs as she follows my gaze to the doorway.
“Ah, yes. I vividly remember that day. You both thought you were so cool. That was the same week you both also decided to start wearing enough Axe body spray to tranquilize a horse. It seeped into my room, and I had to sleep with my window open for an entire week!”
She shakes her head, making me chuckle. Lyla comes racing down the stairs, leaping straight into Hen’s arms. As Hen twirls her around, she squeals with glee.
To my surprise, my mind drifts to what it might look like with Henley and our daughter doing the same thing. Sure, I’ve always thought I’d have my own family one day, but I never imagined being a father as vividly as I am right now. My heart aches, full of a deep yearning I never thought possible.
Hen lowers Lyla’s feet back on the ground, and the smile that little girl gives Henley shines just as bright as the one that glowed on Hen just a little while ago. “We make cookies, now?”
“Yes, baby girl. Let’s make some cookies. But first, let’s say hi to our guest.”
Lyla’s little eyes grow wide at the sight of me. I’ve visited when I was on my breaks, and she’s seen me a few times when I’ve called Ryleigh on video chat. But since I haven’t been home for the past two years, I imagine I’m still like a stranger to her.
She steps behind Hen’s leg, peering shyly at me from behind their safety. Bending down slowly, I introduce myself again. “Hi, Lyla. I’m so excited to make cookies with you today. Chocolate chips are my favorite, how about you?”
She bites her little lip while pondering her response. Instead of answering, she gives me a thumbs up.
“I’m glad you like them, too. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. Let’s get to work so we can have some for snack.”
She smiles again, nodding instead of answering.
“Lyla, will you go grab your step stool out of the pantry?”
“Yes, awntie.” She smiles before disappearing to get her chair.
“Sorry, she still only talks to family. They’ve been trying to get her out and about more to see if that would help, but she stays silent unless she feels comfortable.”
“No worries at all. That just means I’ll have to spend more time with her, so she feels comfortable around me.”
Hen squeezes my forearm. “I’d love that, and so would she.”
Just as she turns to help Lyla and finish setting up, Tripp and Gracie Cole come down the stairs. “Emerson! I was wondering when you were finally going to make it back over here again.”
Gracie reaches out and pulls my head down toward her, planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Woman, you can’t go around kissing grown men,” Tripp bristles, sliding in front of his wife to shake my hand. Gracie rolls her eyes as Hen shields her laughter with her hand.
“Don’t worry, I have no ambition of becoming a cougar.” She waggles her brows as Tripp’s mouth flies wide open. Gracie tips it closed with her finger and pats him softly on the chest. “Plus, I’ve only ever had eyes for one man.”
Raising up on her toes, she kisses Tripp on the lips, and I watch him melt into her.
Yeah, Tripp. I know the feeling.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay while we’re out at dinner? Ryleigh won’t be back from hauling the trailer until around eight-thirty.”
“We’ll be good, Mom. We’ve got lots of fun things planned, right, Lyla?”
“Wight!” she shouts in the most adorable voice.
Gracie leans in and whispers, “I’m glad to see things have been progressing over there on the Lane property.
And I’m not just talking about Autumn’s project.
” She gives me a knowing look, and I can feel my cheeks heat.
“Watch after my girls, will you?” She winks, reaching out to give my arm a loving squeeze. Her eyes bouncing between Hen and me.
“Always.”
An hour later, we’re covered in flour after one epic food fight, and the scent of vanilla and chocolate is wafting through the house as the cookies bake in the oven. While the girls head upstairs to wash up, I clean the kitchen and order us a pizza.
I am just plating us each a couple of slices with a little scoop of salad that I had thrown together when Henley strolls into the kitchen carrying Lyla in her arms.
“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighs. “How did you know I was too tired to cook?”
Carrying our plates on my arms, I walk over to her and place a kiss on her temple. Lyla giggles and without even thinking I give her a kiss, too. Her eyes go wide for a moment, and I start to panic. Then she squishes my cheeks and plants a big, slobbery kiss on my nose.
“Wuv you!”
Henley’s breath audibly stalls in her throat and her eyes begin to glisten. And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make tears well in my eyes, too. I blink a few times trying to conceal the evidence, stepping around them and into the living room.
Hen gets Lyla settled with her plate on the coffee table while I search for a Disney movie. Once I settle on one, Henley snuggles up beside me while we eat dinner. By the end of the second movie, both girls are passed out on top of me.
Somewhere in the middle of the last movie, Lyla had crawled onto my lap.
A few minutes later, Henley’s soft little snores filled the air.
As I comb my fingertips through her hair, I’ve never felt more at peace.
For years, I’ve been trying to stop the bleed in my heart, and I think I’ve finally begun to heal the tear.
I’ve known I’d always wanted a family, but these past few years I had started to accept that maybe that just wasn’t in the cards for me.
Looking down at the girls, my heart simmers with hope.
For the first time, I allow myself to believe that it can be possible.
Especially if it’s with the gorgeous soul beneath me.
A buzz vibrates from my back pocket, and I gently tilt my hips to retrieve my phone.
My breath stalls in my throat when I see the name that lights up the screen.
“Hey, Beau.”
“Hey, kid. I’ve got some good news for you. Your suspension has been lifted. We need you back and training on the sixth. Jake is out of the next race, so we’ll need you to fill in his slot.”
I should be elated. Jumping for joy.
Instead, my heart is pounding out of my chest for an entirely different reason.
“You still with me?”
I clear my throat. “Yes, sorry. Thank you so much, Beau. I’ll make sure that I’m there.”
“Good to hear. We’re all looking forward to seeing you back on the track soon. This is your second chance, kid. Do well at this race, and the board will consider promoting you to the next racing class. I’ll see you in a week.”
“See you in a week.”
The line goes dead as I lay my head back on the back of the couch.
Metallic jingles outside the front door as I whip my head back up. Ryleigh eases the door open, and a grin grows wide on his face when he takes in the view in front of him.
He closes the door and gently slides his keys onto the side table. “Need a beer?”
I let out a breath. “Hell, yes.”
A few minutes later, he returns from the kitchen and hands me an ice-cold bottle. Then he takes a seat in the arm chair across from me.
“Thanks for looking after them tonight.” He smiles, taking a long sip from his beer. “It’s nice to see her comfortable around you.”
“Lyla or Hen?” I snort into my bottle as I take a sip.
“Both.” He smirks.
“How was the haul?”
“Long,” he sighs deeply. “I feel bad having to rely on everyone to help me out with Lyla while I have to do things like this. I’m exhausted all the time, and I know I’m not the greatest Dad.” His shoulders slouch as he takes off his cowboy hat and wipes his brow with his arm.
“Ry,” I say, making sure I have his attention before I keep going.
“You’re a wonderful father. She knows how much you love her, and how hard you work for her.
Lyla spent the whole afternoon talking to Hen about her daddy.
That little girl thinks that the sun rises and sets in your eyes, because you’ve given her such a beautiful life.
You are the one that stuck around and have been loving her and helping her grow her entire life.
It’s okay to lean on those around you whenever you need to, but I don’t ever want to hear you say you aren’t a great father again.
Because it’s simply not true. In my eyes, and more importantly, Lyla’s—you are one of the best.”
“Needed that slap back to reality. Thanks, Em.” His lips tilt up, as he places his hat on the coffee table.
“Anytime, you know I always love a good opportunity to slap you around a bit.” I smirk, tossing back another swig of beer, then place it on the table beside me.
“Don’t like that one? We have a few different kinds in there. Want me to get you another?”
“No, it’s not the beer,” I grumble. “My stomach is a little upset, though.”
“Probably all the pizza.” Ryleigh chuckles and takes another sip. When I don’t laugh back his face falls. “Em?”
“I got a call from Beau.”
“Oh, shit,” he whispers, setting his beer aside as well. “When do you have to leave?”
“Two days after the wedding,” I groan.
“You don’t seem as happy as I thought you would be.”