Chapter 22
Alice
I t was great to have so much help, but I’m relieved to finally be alone once Danielle, Mike, and Honey pull out of the driveway. They stayed later than everyone else. Jake asked if I wanted to go back to his apartment, so I wouldn’t have to be alone, but I turned down the offer. I sent him home, along with Jordan, Regina, and Emily, a little while ago. Danielle makes heart-shaped hand gestures out the window of their car, and I wave as I close the door.
I insisted they should go, but now the house feels too empty. Hours of cleaning have left me sweaty and thirsty, so I head to the fridge in search of a drink. When I open the door, a dozen pairs of eyes stare back at me. I yelp in surprise, then I start to laugh. There are googly eyes stuck on almost every item in the refrigerator. I know exactly who did this.
I snap a photo and pour myself a glass of sweet tea before I set to work peeling them off. It’s pretty adorable, but it made me jump, and I’m not trying to give Dad another heart attack when he gets home. I save one of the larger pairs and stick it on my laptop case. I chuckle as they stare back at me, and I send the photo to Jake.
Me: I *see* what you did there.
Jake: Someone had to keep an *eye* on you tonight. ::wink emoji::
He’s such a dork. I’m still looking down at his message and smiling as I curl under the blanket and pull up a new document for my next Creative Writing assignment. But I can’t concentrate because my fingers are itching to text Jake again. It would be so easy to ask him to come back and use those talented hands to make me forget all this stress. I can’t do that, though. I don’t want trauma bonding to become our thing. First the storm, and now we’ve spent another intense day together because of a health emergency. I don’t want to come off needy and desperate.
Instead, I text Danielle.
Me : I don’t know the protocol now that you’re an old married lady, but I think I made a mistake sending you away. How would you feel about coming back over here for an impromptu sleepover?
Danielle : Mike’s already asleep. We wore him out. I won’t be missed. Be there in fifteen.
After two Kate Hudson movies and a bottle of wine, we are stretched sideways across my bed, talking about almost anything except the secret I’m now keeping from my best friend. The confession has been on the tip of my tongue all night. I might’ve slipped and told her by now if I could get a word in, but thankfully Danielle has been ranting about her movie icks since Fool’s Gold ended.
“You know something else that bothers me about most movies?” There are way too many s’s in that sentence. Danielle was never much of a partier, but now that she lives in a dry house, her tolerance is even lower. The wine has made her a little tipsy.
“What?”
“The complete omission of bodily functions,” she slurs, but only slightly. “Like, I’m supposed to believe this group of people are together on all these adventures and not once did anyone need to pee? None of these women get their periods? Nobody farts, at all, ever?”
I laugh. “My professor calls those things ‘gratuitous distractions.’ He says it pulls the reader out of the story and cheapens the work.”
She blows raspberries and little droplets of spittle hit my comforter. “Well, if you ask me, it’s way more distracting to spend the entire time wondering if I’m watching humans or cyborgs because none of the characters seem to have a bladder.”
I’m happy to join her on this crusade for cinematic justice. It’s a much safer topic than a certain tattooed hottie we both know and love. Well, not love . I don’t love Jake. That would be insane.
But I know I should tell her.
I gather my courage and say, “Believe me, bodily functions were top-of-mind when I was stuck with Jake. My intestines can’t thank you enough for ordering vegan cupcakes.”
“Are you kidding? I felt so bad that my insistence you get those cupcakes was the whole reason you both got stuck out there. I’m still shocked you didn’t kill each other. But maybe it was good for you? Seems like you two are getting along much better now.” My best friend looks at me with one eyebrow arched, waiting for my story.
She’s handing me the perfect opportunity, so of course I completely chicken out. I want to tell her everything, but telling her will make it real, and I don’t know if I’m ready for something as real as it could be with Jake. Or if he is. So instead of telling her the truth, I cop out and give her the most generic answer of all time.
“Yeah. We talked some stuff out. It’s not like there was much else to do.”
“I’m so happy you two are friends again.” She leans back into my pillow.
I nod and turn the conversation back to her. “I’m happy you’re happy. And I know you really are. I can see it. You’re glowing, Mrs. Miller. I’ve never seen you look this good. Tell me about married life. How is it being a newlywed?”
She beams. “It’s amazing. He’s amazing. Everything is—”
“Let me guess. Amazing?”
She touches her finger to her nose, then points to me. “You’re pretty smart, you know.”
“I know. I’m a genius. You know what else? I think I’ve decided Almost Famous is Kate’s best work.”
“That was never in doubt.” Danielle clinks her glass against mine and starts another movie.