37 #2
‘But why? The doors allowed you through today. That’s why you’re sitting here now.’
‘Yes, I know. I haven’t quite figured out why yet …’ Dotty’s pale brow furrows. ‘It might be because you and Adam opened them for me. But then, I assume Archie tried to get me back when I first disappeared?’
‘He did. I think he was very … frustrated,’ I chose my words carefully, ‘when he couldn’t get you back. It made him quite ill, I believe.’
‘Poor Archie,’ Dotty says sadly. ‘I thought that might happen.’
‘So why did you come to the doors today?’ I ask. ‘February was months ago now.’
‘I heard that someone was going around looking for me,’ Dotty says.
‘I’ve been in 1904 Cambridge for so long now, on and off, that I’ve developed a lot of contacts in the city.
They let me know that someone had been asking after me, and also Ben.
So I decided to investigate myself. I followed your Adam as he searched for Ben and visited with Ben’s mother, Eliza, so it didn’t take long for me to work out who he was.
This morning, I followed him to the alleyway and saw him disappearing back through the doors into the tunnel.
I thought about it for a while, before I decided to knock on the door.
I didn’t know quite what would happen. So when the two of you answered, I was overjoyed to see you both. ’
‘But that still doesn’t explain why you haven’t been able to come through the portal before today?’
‘As I spent more time moving around in the past, I began to understand more about how all this …’ She waves her hand around the office. ‘How it works. There are rules and regulations to it all, and I broke the rules of time, Eve,’ she says sombrely. ‘That’s why I couldn’t return.’
‘What do you mean, you broke them? How did you do that?’
‘There are many rules of time, Eve, which you eventually will learn for yourself. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t realise I was breaking any when I tried to help Ben.’
‘What happened?’
‘I messed with the past and it affected the future,’ Dotty says in a hushed tone, as though she’s worried about someone hearing her.
‘By sending Ben forward all those years ago, I changed what could have happened – it wasn’t his choice to come forward, I decided it for him.
We all have freedom of choice in this world, Eve.
When either our freedom or our choice is taken from us, we have nothing.
I took Ben’s right to choose his future away from him, and so in exchange I had to give up my own. ’
‘But you were trying to help him,’ I say indignantly. ‘Just like you helped all the others afterwards. Some of those people are my friends now. Luca, Harriet, Barney. If you hadn’t helped them – goodness knows what would have happened to them.’
‘You said Barney?’ Dotty asks, frowning. ‘You don’t mean Barnaby, do you? The small boy who couldn’t walk?’
‘Yes, he’s one of my best friends now. If it wasn’t for you, he definitely wouldn’t be here now. He was one of the people who helped Adam and I figure out what was happening down here. We couldn’t have done it without him.’
Dotty pauses to think, as if she’s working something out. ‘Maybe that’s why?’ she murmurs.
‘What’s why?’ I ask.
But Dotty is deep in thought. ‘Who would have thought it would have been young Barnaby who would be my saviour?’ Tears have formed in the corners of Dotty’s eyes and she reaches for her handkerchief again.
‘Barnaby was very special to me,’ she says as tears fall delicately down her pale face.
‘I took such a risk sending him through the tunnel that day, not knowing what would become of him. But now I understand. You needed him. You both needed him to get to where you are now. Does he know?’ she asks suddenly. ‘That he came from the past?’
‘He does now. He didn’t until recently, though.’
‘He doesn’t want to go back, though?’ Dotty asks anxiously.
‘No, he knows he’s much better off here.’
‘Oh, good. That’s such a relief.’
‘You’ve done so much good, Dotty,’ I tell her, determined she should know this. ‘It doesn’t seem fair you’ve been punished for doing so.’
Dotty smiles.
‘But now you’re here with us, Adam and I can help you to go back,’ I tell her keenly. ‘We know how to control the portal. We can help you to get to 1944.’
Dotty shakes her head. ‘No, I can’t do that, Eve.’
‘Why? You’ve done so much for others – it’s time you had something good done for you.
You can go back, see your daughter again and pick up where you left off with Archie, except this time you can take with you the knowledge of how to control the portal.
I can teach you. Think of what you’ll both be able to do. ’
‘Stop!’ Dotty says. ‘I mustn’t know. You and Adam were always the chosen ones. It’s you who must go forward with this knowledge, not me.’
‘But why? I thought you’d jump at the chance to see your daughter again. I’d do anything to see my mother one more time.’ I swallow hard.
‘Oh, my dear.’ Dotty takes my hands in hers again.
‘I know you would. I’m so sorry for how everything turned out for you – really I am.
But what you must understand is every choice we make in life has a consequence.
Sometimes that consequence is good, sometimes it can be bad.
If I were to go back with the knowledge of how to control this portal, not only could it change my life and the people who come after me, it could change the course of history too.
The way it is is the way it’s supposed to be.
You’ll learn that soon enough. There is a plan for us all.
It’s helping people to stick to that plan that’s the difficult part.
’ She smiles. ‘There’s a few of us, you know, doing what I do.
This is our path in life. You and Adam, you have your path mapped out too.
And if I can let you into a little secret? Yours is a very special path indeed.’
I don’t know what to say. I desperately want to help Dotty, but I can’t if she won’t let me. ‘Wait – the timelines!’ I say suddenly.
‘Timelines?’ Dotty asks.
‘Yes, if you open up a new branch on the tree, the original one still exists,’ I say, knowing I’m not explaining this very well. ‘You could start a new timeline and the old one would still be there, so nothing would change.’
Dotty smiles. ‘I know the theory you’re referring to. Unfortunately, that’s not exactly how that works,’ she says kindly. ‘It’s a lot more complex. One day you will understand, Eve.’
‘Are you absolutely sure we can’t help you?’ I ask her one more time. ‘It just seems like it would be such a wonderful thing to do for you, to reunite you with your daughter and give you back your life.’
‘I know. And I love you for wanting that for me.’ She reaches out and puts her hand on my cheek, in exactly the same way I did with Adam when I realised how I truly felt about him. ‘But sometimes it’s the most difficult choices you make in life that are the most important ones.’
Dotty strokes my cheek.
‘You’re good girl, Eve. No,’ she corrects herself, ‘you’re good woman. You and Adam are going to make a wonderful team. And when you’re both ready, you too will do great things together with this portal. Just like we always knew you would do.’
Dotty pulls out her watch again and glances at it. ‘And now I must go,’ she says, standing up. ‘I’ve a feeling after what’s happened today that my many times on this earth are now coming to an end. It’s time I found my peace.’
She heads towards the doors and I follow her. She takes one more look around the room. ‘Can I give you one last piece of advice, Eve?’
‘Of course.’
‘You’ve been given a great gift here, you and Adam. Use it well and use it wisely, won’t you?’
‘Of course we will.’
‘Because this is your time, Eve. Yours and Adam’s. And you have all the time in the world.’
Dotty reaches out and gives me a long hug, and I feel the same feelings of love, belonging and peace surging through me once more, only a hundred times stronger this time as she wraps her arms around me.
‘I’d wish you both all the luck in the world,’ she says as she finally pulls away, ‘but I don’t think you’ll need it.
You two were destined for this moment and destined for each other. Always remember that.’
I follow Dotty into the tunnel and, using my phone torch, light her way to the end.
‘Wait,’ I say as she opens the external doors and is about to go through them again.
‘I have photos of your daughter on my phone here – not only that, but photos of your granddaughter and your other great-granddaughter too.’ I look down at my phone and begin scrolling through my photo app.
‘Would you like to see them all grown up?’
‘Eve, I don’t need photographs to see them,’ Dotty says quietly, her voice fading a little. ‘I know exactly what you and all my family look like. I always have.’
‘But how?’ I ask, still searching furiously for the photos.
‘Because I’ve been with you all along,’ she says, her voice getting ever fainter.
I raise my head to see Dotty smiling serenely at me. The light from behind her at the end of the tunnel is making her look like she has a halo all around her.
‘I was always with your grandmother, your mother, your sister, and now you, Eve. I never left any of you. And I never will.’
And then, instead of going through the doors and returning back to Edwardian Cambridge as I expect her to, Dotty simply fades away in front of me.
‘Eve?’ I hear being called down the tunnel from behind me. ‘Eve, are you there?’
I call back to Adam, ‘Yes, yes, I’m here. I’ll be back in a moment.’ I take one last look at where Dotty was standing moments ago, and then, very calmly, I walk the few steps towards the doors and close them up, securing them with the two planks before returning down the tunnel to Adam.
Adam is standing in the office waiting for me as I emerge through the doors. Behind him are three cups of freshly brewed tea, with milk and sugar all on a little tray. Next to that, where Dotty was sitting, is a single bright-red apple.
‘Where’s Dotty?’ Adam asks, looking behind me into the tunnel as I step back into the office. ‘Didn’t she have time for a cup of tea in the end?’
‘I think Dotty has always had all the time in the world to do everything she needs to do,’ I say, gazing at the apple shining like a beacon of hope under the dim light of the office. ‘And do you know something?’ I say, smiling at Adam. ‘Now we have that same, very precious gift too.’