Chapter 32 #2
Letting his hands drop, he takes a step back and eyes me. There is nothing sexual about the way he looks at me. His gaze is all predator, assessing its prey, looking for any weaknesses he can exploit.
“Make a fist.”
I shift my weight from one foot to another before folding my hands into a ball and lifting them in the air. “Happy?”
Matthew quirks his brow at my attitude before his gaze shifts to my fists.
His fingers cover mine, and I relax slightly.
He gently rearranges my fingers, securing the thumb on the outside, just below my pointer and middle finger.
“You don’t want to get your fingers broken, so make sure not to tuck your thumb. ”
“Don’t tuck your thumb, got it.”
“Now, what’s the first lesson of self-defense?”
“Punch as hard as you can?” I ask weakly, unsure of where he’s going with this, but knowing I don’t want to be here. Don’t want to do any of this.
It’s not like you have a choice. Suck it up, buttercup.
“If you can avoid confrontation, you take it, but if you can’t, disentangle yourself from your attacker and run.” Matthew’s voice is grave. “If you can help it, you never let them take you to a different location.”
I swallow hard, the acid burning the back of my throat as Matthew’s words ring in my head.
He tilts his head toward my fist. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
He extends his arms, and it takes me a heartbeat to realize he wants me to punch him.
I shake my head. “I’m not punching you!”
“And here I thought you’d gladly take a chance.” I cross my arms over my chest and give him my sternest look. “Fine.”
He moves to the punching bag and stands behind it, motioning for me to come forward. “You can punch the bag.”
I suck in a long breath as I step in front of the bag. Matthew’s fingers wrap around the leather. Why he thinks there is a need to hold it in place, I have no idea, but I don’t comment on it.
“Secure the thumb, and punch it as hard as you can,” he says softly. Focusing on his voice, I do as he said, my fist connecting with the cool leather.
“C’mon, Trouble, you can do better than that.”
Grinding my teeth, I pull my hand back and punch the bag again. My skin burns from the contact, the sound of my fist hitting the bag echoing in the room.
“That’s better. Lift your hand a little bit higher.”
I correct my stance and throw another punch, and another.
My brain goes back to that moment—the darkness and the fear.
A knot forms in my throat as I punch harder.
My breathing is ragged, gaze blurry as I zero in on the bag.
It’s black. Just like the shape of the person who broke into my home. Destroyed it.
So, I punch harder, imagining them in front of me.
A grunt slips from my lungs as I punch again. The hit is so strong, I stumble back, rocking on my heels. My chest is rising and falling rapidly as I fight for breath. I blink, Matthew’s face coming into view.
“Feeling better?” He lets go of the bag and comes to me.
“Maybe.”
“Good. Now we can get to the real work.”
“Real work?”
What was this, then? I flex and relax my fingers, feeling the burn from hitting the bag so hard.
“This was to get the steam out of you and see if you can punch if necessary. However, as we established, we don’t want that. I want you to disengage and r—”
“Run,” I finish, that one word sounding ominous in the otherwise quiet room.
“Always.” Those serious brown eyes zero in on me. “You run back to me.”
My stomach tightens from the intensity in his gaze as he bores into me; the truth shining in his eyes. My life might be all fucked-up, but there is one place where I feel at peace, and that one place is with him.
“Now, to do that…”
Matthew walks me through different scenarios.
Each one making my stomach twist into a tighter knot, but I listen intently to his instructions, storing the information away.
And then he makes me try it all out on him.
It takes me a bit. I wasn’t lying when I said I’m not a fighter.
I heal people, I don’t cause them harm, and attacking Matthew goes against every bone in my body, but he doesn’t let me half-ass it.
He tries to grab me from the front.
I step on his foot, raising my knee, as if I’m going for his groin, my elbow connecting with his jaw as I slip away from him.
He grabs my hair, tugging my head to the side.
My scalp burns slightly as I try to wiggle away and get to his neck.
“Open that palm,” he coaches, his voice serious.
I force my fingers to loosen. His chin dips slightly, but I still manage to reach his throat.
“That’s it. You grab that sucker hard, and we’ll see if he can get off the ground to chase after you while he fights for his breath.
If you can’t reach the throat, you go for the nose with either your fist or your palm.
” He grabs my hand and demonstrates the correct positions.
“Both can be equally damaging if done correctly.”
His words make me shudder and my stomach turn. “I just hope I never have to use it.”
“Me too. Most people don’t, but I want you to be able to…”
“Run to you.”
His expression warms. “Exactly. Now, if he comes from the back…”
My breathing is labored as Matthew comes from behind me, his arm wrapping around me in a headlock as he pulls me against his chest. I reach for his wrist and elbow, tugging down as I lower into a squat. My elbows press to my sides as I lean forward.
“Just like that.”
My heart beats wildly as I slip out of his grasp. But he doesn’t stop. He tackles me to the ground, his body breaking my fall before he rolls us over so I’m pinned beneath him, his weight resting on my hips.
“Are you crazy?” I pant, but he just arches his brow.
“The attacker will not let go just because, Trouble. What did we say? What are you doing?” he asks, his palms pressing my shoulders to the mat.
“Hand cross grip.” I move my hands in the correct position.
“Elbows down,” Matthew reminds me. “Always keep your elbows down.”
“Right. Elbows down. Cross grip your wrist, but no thumb,” I mutter as I get in position. “Other one on the triceps. One foot over yours, the other one in the center. And now…”
I grit my teeth as I lift my hips, flipping him onto his back, my body falling over his.
Matthew grins at me proudly. “Hell yeah. That’s my girl.”
I sit upright, leaning against my palm as I stare at him. “Was that good?”
“Textbook perfect.” Matthew’s hands land on my thighs, rubbing up and down the outside of my legs. “How are you feeling?”
He’s studying me almost tentatively.
“I—” My breathing is ragged from all the adrenaline coursing through me. “Good. Better.” The corner of my mouth turns upward. “Thank you for teaching me.”
I’m still not sure if I’d ever actually be able to hurt another human being, but having him show me how to do it makes me feel a little bit safer. More like myself.
“Anytime.”
I nod, grazing my lower lip with my teeth as I watch him, trying to catch my breath. His gaze zeroes in on my mouth, his fingers digging into my thighs suddenly, making me aware of our position. Him on the mat, me straddling his lap.
I move slightly, and the muscle in his jaw twitches. That’s when I feel it.
Feel him.
His hard length is nestled between my thighs, his sweatpants doing little to act as a barrier between us.
My heart races faster, and this time, it has nothing to do with adrenaline and everything to do with him.
My throat bobs as I grab his wrists. Disappointment flashes across his face for a split second, but he doesn’t stop me.
My tongue darts out, sliding over my lower lip as I lift his hands over his head and pin them to the mat. His eyes narrow in confusion. “What—”
My teeth sink into my lower lip, color flooding my cheeks. My thighs clench around him of their own accord, the motion making us both groan.
“What about this one?” I ask, my fingers curling around his wrists. “How do I get out of this hold?”
“Trouble…” Matthew’s voice sounds almost pained.
His cheeks are flushed, our ragged breaths mingling together as I lean closer. The fire burning in his brown eyes consuming me.
“We should get back home,” Matthew whispers, his voice coming out husky, but he makes no attempt to move.
I shake my head. “I want you to show me.”
Our noses touch.
Gazes hold.
Lips brushing together.
That’s all it takes.
One brush.
Matthew lets out a curse that’s swallowed by my kiss. I grind my hips over his length as my tongue slides into his mouth, his tongue meeting mine.
Hard. Demanding. Unyielding.
His kiss devours me, sucking all the breath from my lungs. He might be the one pinned to the ground, wrists bound, but he doesn’t let it deter him one bit. His mouth swipes over mine as his hips rise to meet mine, arms spreading.
In a blink of an eye, I’m the one sprawled on my back, Matthew’s arms holding my waist as his body hoovers over mine.
“Damn, you couldn’t let me live in this fantasy?” I groan half-heartedly.
The amusement dances in his irises as he glances at me. He leans down, nipping at my lower lip. “You can’t outplay your teacher, but nice try.”
I smirk. “But I do get to play?”