Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
MATTHEW
Jessica’s amber eyes are fixed on me. They’re not as vivid as usual, probably because of a mix of pain and whatever medicine the nurses gave her earlier when they were checking in on her.
She tried to put on a brave face, but I could see the examination and her family coming in had done a number on her.
Her skin is pale, making the bruises on her face seem even more prominent than they are, and yet there is no avoiding that stubborn look in her eyes as she watches me.
“Jessica…” I give her a warning look, which she chooses to ignore.
“No, you’ll listen to me now, Matthew James Williams. I’m done with your bullshit.
Completely and utterly done. You don’t get to tell me what to do.
You don’t get to decide what h-happens. There are two people in this relationship, and I get a say.
And I say no. You don’t get to run away from me.
Not when you’re the one who told me to r-run to you. I don’t care what you—”
Leaning down, I press my mouth against hers, effectively shutting her up. Her eyes widen in surprise, but her lips give in to me as I gently swipe my mouth over hers before pulling back.
“I’m not running away.”
She blinks a few times, clearly surprised by my answer. “Y-you… You’re not?”
The corner of my mouth tips upward as I slide my thumb over her cheek.
“I’m not running anywhere. I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t cross my mind, because it did.
I keep hurting the people I love, but pushing you away didn’t help anything.
It only made things worse. If I hadn’t done that, none of this would have happened.
He wouldn’t have gotten his hands on you.
He wouldn’t have hurt you like he did.” My jaw clenches just thinking about it.
About all the ways I screwed up. All the ways I intentionally, or unintentionally, hurt her.
“This isn’t your fault, Matthew.”
I shake my head. “No, it is. I’m so sorry for driving you away.
For saying all those things to you. I’ll never be able to take them back, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make this right, because I love you.
I’ve loved you since that day you walked into my life when you were seventeen, like a fucking angel, and I’ve fallen for you all over again since coming back.
I didn’t deserve you then, and I sure as hell don’t deserve you now, but I don’t care.
I love you. When I realized you were gone, and that I might lose you, I almost lost it.
I don’t want to live in a world in which you aren’t mine, but I can’t live in a world in which you don’t exist.”
She blinks rapidly, nibbling at her lip. “Say it again.”
“I. Love. You.” I press my forehead against hers. “And if you’ll have me, I’ll keep running to you. You’re my safe harbor, Jessica. You always have been.” A tear slides down her cheek, and I brush it away. “Don’t cry, baby.”
“A-am n-not.”
“You’re still a shit liar, Trouble,” I chuckle softly, tucking a strand of her hair back. “C’mon, you should get some rest.”
I straighten, ready to pull back, but she grabs my hand. “C’mere.”
“Jessica…”
She tugs my wrist, her face twitching in pain.
“You’re hurting, baby.”
“I don’t c-care,” she mutters stubbornly. “I want you with me.”
Sighing, I give in and sit on the bed.
“All the way.”
“There isn’t space for both of us,” I argue, although I know it’s useless.
“When has that ever stopped you?” She shoots me a stern look, her lips pouting. “You know, you shouldn’t fight with a sick person. It’s basic m-manners.”
I snort softly but toe off my shoes. “Fine.”
As carefully as I can, I slide into bed next to her. The metal frame groans at the additional weight, and I hold my breath, but it doesn’t give out, so I settle in, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
Her eyelids are heavy, and her breathing has slowed.
“How are you going to explain this to the nurses if the bed breaks?”
The corner of her mouth twitches upward. “That’ll be one interesting story.” She fights to keep her eyes open. “Say it a-again.”
“Which part? To go to sleep?”
“You know wh-which part.”
I hum softly as I press my lips against the top of her head. “I love you, Jessica Richards.”
“I love you too.”
“Go to sleep, Trouble.”
“Don’t leave,” she whispers, her face nuzzled in my chest. “Promise me.”
“I promise.” I take her good hand in mine and press my lips against the back of it. “I’ll be here when you wake up. Right where you left me.”