XXII
SILAS
I return to Augustine Academy on a high.
Viscount Lockhart gave me his blessing to marry his daughter. Viscountess Lockhart—my future mother-in-law—doted for the time I was there. She gushed about the ring when I showed it to them. I even heard her on the phone discussing wedding venues with her friends, I presume.
My father was pleased to hear how far things have progressed, as well. Everything is going according to plan. That little hiccup at the boathouse is water under the bridge. She may have woken up, but her spirit is still bound to mine.
As I walk through the sprawling grounds, I think of how I’ll propose to her. Should I do it at Augustine? It has to be something extravagant, something that befits the Peregrine-Ashford name, and impresses the Lockharts. Something that will have even Eden, who grew up in the lap of luxury, speechless.
When I get down on one knee.
She’ll say yes.
She has to .
I run my fingers over the velvet box in my pocket absentmindedly as I walk, my mind already painting the scene—the way her big, brown eyes are going to widen in disbelief before softening, then surrendering completely.
I don’t tell anyone that I’m back earlier than expected.
I want to surprise Eden.
I check the library first—her usual haunt—but she’s not there. The courtyard is empty because most classes are in session. But Eden doesn’t have a class now. The girls’ dormitory is silent too. Tension surges in my chest—an unfamiliar feeling, considering the amazing trip I just had.
It feels like something is wrong.
I keep walking.
My feet lead me past the classrooms, and that’s when I bump into a familiar face. She was with Eden on the tour of the school. One of the girls that gawked at me.
Clearly, she’s not over her crush. She bats her eyelashes at me, snaking a lock of long ash blonde hair behind her ear. The flush in her cheeks makes it all the way to her ears. When she realizes I want to talk to her, I can practically hear her heart fluttering.
“Do you know where Lady Lockhart is?”
She instantly deflates. I smirk.
The whole school knows that Eden belongs to me—why did she think she stood a chance with me, of all people? There’s nothing special about her.
But Eden? She’s everything .
“The music room,” she says quietly. “I saw her go in a few minutes ago.”
The music room? I don’t ever recall her spending time there.
A frown tugs at my lips, but I push it away. “You’ve been helpful.”
I turn on my heel and make my way there.
The hallway leading to the music room is dimly lit, the old wooden floors creaking beneath my steps. Right as I approach, the door creaks open.
Eden steps out.
There’s a small smile lingering on her face. Her hair is falling around her shoulders in tight curls—not styled perfectly the way I like. She looks soft, content.
And the sight of her so relaxed would have eased the tension in my chest, if Lucian didn’t step out of the room after her, carrying her bag.
For a moment, everything stops.
The air is thick, heavy with something I can’t place that makes my heart thunder in my chest. I watch as he hands the bag to her, then leans against the stucco-finished wall of the hallway. His posture is relaxed, but his eyes—sharp, knowing —flick between Eden and me.
I don’t move.
Neither does he.
But there’s an unspoken challenge in his expression. An accusation that doesn’t need words. Something went terribly wrong in the time that I was away. When Eden notices me, her smile falters and posture stiffens.
Did she not think about how this would look?
“Silas,” she breathes, her voice trembling ever so slightly. But she doesn’t move from Lucian’s side. The tension in my body winds even tighter. “You’re back early.”
I don’t respond.
“What are you doing?”
She doesn’t respond. It’s Lucian who does.
“I could ask you the very same thing.”
I need Eden to come with me, but she won’t if I seem like I’m angry. “I was off campus, sorting out a few things related to my future with Eden.”
Each word burns.
But I keep calm.
I see the flicker of intrigue in her eyes, and that’s all I need to put it together. She’s found refuge in Lucian—but at the end of the day she knows who she belongs to.
“Come with me.”
“She doesn’t want to?—”
“How was your trip?” Eden cuts him off, taking a single step toward me.
There’s pure, unadulterated rage in Lucian’s eyes.
“I’ll tell you everything about it, love. But I want us to talk privately.”
She looks between Lucian and I. Is she asking him for permission?
Lucian runs a hand along the back of her neck, then gives her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder that looks too intimate. He starts walking away, but stops ever so briefly as he passes me, his voice lower than a whisper. “Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin. ”
My head snaps to his, meeting his glare with one equally as menacing. Every Christian knows that story of the fall of Babylon and what those words mean.
Mene—god has numbered the days of your kingdom.
Tekel—you have been weighed, and found wanting.
Upharsin—your kingdom will be divided and given to your enemies.
Then he vanishes down the hallway, leaving me with Eden. I stand motionless for a few moments, trying to figure out what happened—where I went wrong.
I told her what I was going out of town to do.
Yet three days was all it took for her to find solace in another man?
Worse than that—a man that she knows I hate, a man I’ve warned her about. Is she doing it intentionally, or is she really that clueless about what she’s done?
I walk towards Eden with slow, measured steps.
“Do you want to explain, or do you want me to make assumptions?” My voice is as cold as ice. “I’m not sure what to think.”
She gives me a lopsided half-smile. “Lucian and I were working on our Literature project together.”
“He was holding your bag.”
“Yes he’s been helping me ever since?—”
It must be the look on my face that makes her know that she’s said too much.
“Ever since what?”
She’s quiet. The hallway is quiet.
Everything is fucking quiet except for the storm raging in my head. “Continue what you were saying, Eden.” I say, keeping my voice as low as I can manage. “I want to know what Lucian has been helping you with. ”
“I’d rather not say.”
There’s a defiant glint in her eye.
Is the bond from our ritual weakening? No, that’s impossible. Our blood has already been intermingled, the rites have been completed.
“You’d rather not say?” I repeat. “I have a right to know.”
She’s quiet.
We’re a few paces apart, but she’s not quite close enough for me to grab her. If I lunged at her, I’m sure she’d try to run. But I need to get whatever false hope Lucian gave her out of her mind as quickly as possible.
“Your father gave me permission to ask you to marry me,” I say. Her eyes widen. “Your mother is excited. She’s already started looking at wedding venues.”
And just like that, Eden walks over to me.
Well, she’s pulled—she has no choice. The Spirit compels her.
As soon as she’s close enough, I wrap my arms around her shoulders, pulling her against me so tightly I’m certain it hurts.
I want it to hurt.
She deserves to hurt.
Salvation only comes through pain.
I guide Eden down the hallway. My grip doesn’t loosen, in fact, my fingers dig into her shoulders more. The pain blooming on her skin is a fraction of what’s exploding through my chest right now.
The velvet box in my pocket feels like it weighs a tonne.
She stumbles over her words. “It’s really not what you think, Silas. Lucian is?—”
“Shut up.”
My voice is quiet and cold .
For the rest of the walk, she doesn’t say another word.
I find an empty classroom.
Shoving Eden inside, the door clicks shut behind us. For a long moment, I stand there, just looking at her. She’s taken a few steps back, her arms wrapped around herself—discreetly massaging her shoulder—watching me carefully .
Watching me like she’s afraid of me.
I’ve never seen that look in her eyes. She looks like she’s face to face with a monster. Rages scorches my skin. What the fuck has Lucian poisoned her mind with?
This is the girl I’ve given everything to.
The girl I’m going to propose to.
Yet, I found her with another man.
Yes, this all started out as a way to stabilize my family’s status and continue the Peregrine-Ashford name out of duty. But it’s not like that anymore.
Eden is mine.
And I think…I think that I love her.
My breath is ragged—but the weight in my chest threatens to crush me, the fire is about to consume me. The Spirit is getting restless, filling my head with thoughts I’d rather not have. I love Eden, and she’s betrayed me.
I take a step forward.
She takes a small, instinctive step back.
“You were smiling.”
Eden blinks rapidly. “What?”
“When you walked out of that room.” I tilt my head, looking at the rafters in the ceiling because looking at her fucking face is making me angrier than I would like. “You looked happy.”
I hear her gulp. “We were just talking?—”
“About what?” I cut her off, finally spearing her with a gaze that would melt a hole through a skull if it could. “What were you talking about with Lucian fucking Beaumont that would make you smile?” I slam my hand on a nearby desk.
She hesitates.
That’s all the answer I need.
My lips curl into a humorless smile.
For every step forward I take, she takes one backward.
“Did you forget, love,” I murmur. “Did you forget who you belong to?”
She’s silent.
“Did you forget who promised you forever?”
I pick up a desk and throw it.
She flinches.
Good.
“Cause it seems like you have.”
Lunging, I grab her by the neck, pulling her close to me.
I lean down, making sure we’re face to face. Both my hands are wrapped around her neck. I could snap it so easily if I wanted to.
Instead, I squeeze.
Oxygen is a privilege that she doesn’t have right now.
I want her to feel like she’s suffocating, the way her betrayal makes me feel.
“I trusted you, Eden.” My hands tighten. “I trusted you, and you ran to him. ”
Eden’s eyes are wide, her fingers trying to claw at my hands, my wrists, anything so she can breathe again.
“Silas…you...hurt…me…” she rasps. “I…almost...died.”.
My frown deepens.
“You should have just stayed put!” I scream, flinging her against the wall.
She slams against it with a grunt, taking deep lungfuls of air as she tries to steady herself. My rage turns molten, spreading through me like wildfire.
I’m upon her before she realizes—this time I grab her by the hair, forcing her to her feet. I tilt her head back, exposing her neck to me. “Did you let him touch you?”
“Silas, what are you?—”
“Did he touch you!” I scream. “It’s a yes or no fucking question, Eden.”
“No.” Her lips tremble on a lie.
I throw her to the floor this time, her head bouncing between the legs of two desks before she lands flat on her back. Just like she was a few nights ago by the boathouse. But there’s none of the joy, none of the arousal here now.
Just a sin that she must atone for.
Her head is spinning I’m sure, so I push the desks aside—they screech against the floor and she winces, which means she’s probably become sensitive to sounds—and stand over her, with a leg on either side of her torso.
I’m tempted to step on her face.
But the image of her laying in a coffin with her face caved in flashes in my mind.
No, she can’t die like this. Because at the end of the day, she’s still mine. She’s still the girl I love. Even if she’s tainted herself with him—we’re too deep in at this point. And after visiting Eden’s family, I’ve come to find out she needs me just as much as I need her.
I can’t lose her.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t show her how I feel .
I stoop down, grabbing her hair again, bringing her up to face me. She’s got tears in her eyes, her pupils dilating and contracting in a way that tells me she’s having trouble focusing on my face.
“What a poor, fragile thing you are,” I breathe. “And still you defy me.” I yank her closer, eliciting a squeak from her. My lips are by her ear now. “Out of everyone on this campus you chose him . It’s like you wanted me to get upset.”
“Silas, I keep telling you?—”
The slap comes before I realize.
Eden’s eyes widen, the searing handprint on her cheek slightly disguised by the depth of her skin tone. But it’s enough for me to see, so it must be enough for her to feel.
“I told you to shut up,” I growl. I twist her neck. “Where did your ears go?”
I slam her head against the desk. “Oh, there they are,” I mock.
“Why can’t you keep your mouth shut, Eden?”
My knuckles connect with her mouth hard enough to draw blood.
The tears spring more freely. A rivulet of blood slides down the side of her face.
“Don’t cry, love,” I hiss. “I’m not planning to leave you. After all, you need to get engaged to remain part of your family, right?”
Her eyes widen.
“Oh, did you think I wouldn’t find out?” I grab her neck again. “You need me, Eden. Your father gave me permission to marry you.” I grin at her, finally. “Till death do us part.” I chuckle darkly. “Do you think Lucian Beaumont can save you from the storm that will brew if you don’t marry me?
She’s suffocating.
She’s bleeding.
She’s suffering.
And it doesn’t feel like enough.
I stand, hauling her up by her hair. When I let go of her this time, she actually screeches from pain. A handful of her hair comes away in my hand—ripped from the root.
“I think I’ll keep this, as a reminder,” I whisper, looking down at the clump of hair in my hand. “Or do you want it to help you remember your place?”
Her lip is trembling.
“Oh, you may speak now.”
She bursts into tears. “How could you do this to me, Silas?”
I cock my head. “Do what, Eden?” I hiss. “Explain to me exactly what I’ve done.”
“You keep hurting me,” she snivels. “You drew a pentagram on my chest. If I didn’t run away from you, I could have bled to death.”
“That was never going to happen, Eden. That pentagram was simply to seal our fates together, to show that you belong to me as much as I belong to you.”
“Silas, it’s a pentagram. I’m going to have a demonic sigil on my body for the rest of my life.” Her words come out shakily. “That has nothing to do with belonging?—”
“We’re already bound, Eden,” I say. “Can’t you feel it? You’re drawn to me. I did what I had to do to keep us together, forever.”
“Keep us together?” She sounds incredulous. “You felt you needed to dabble in the occult, to go against everything we believe in, to keep us together?”
“It’s because I love you.” The words fall from my lips before I can stop myself.
She’s shocked .
I’m shocked.
“You made me love you, Eden. You drove me crazy. To the brink of this cavernous madness in my head that only goes quiet when I’m around you.” I never thought I would admit that to her. “Now you’re complaining when you realize that a serious relationship is never just about roses. It comes with thorns too.”
Eden takes a deep breath. “Love shouldn’t hurt.”
I give her a full-throated laugh. It’s clear that I can’t leave her alone again—Eden is so easily manipulated. She can’t even tell when someone is leading her astray.
“Who filled your head with that nonsense?” I ask.
There’s hesitation that I don’t like. “It’s the truth.”
She didn’t answer my question.
Something is only true when you want it to be.
“Okay,” I say coolly, stuffing her hair into my pocket. “Let’s test that theory.”
She looks confused for a moment.
Then I punch her so hard she stumbles backward, falling flat on the floor—unconscious. I stare at her for a long while. Her head lolled to the side, her hair disheveled, her face bloody. The rage in my body starts to dissipate the longer I look at her. She’s beautiful like this.
Then I leave the room, the door unlocked.
Lucian can come to her rescue if he wants. But there’s one thing that will never change. Eden Lockhart belongs to me, and she will marry me—even if I have to drag her, kicking and screaming, down the aisle.
I stand shrouded in the cloisters, watching.
I knocked Eden unconscious nearly an hour ago—she should be waking up any time now. She’s been my girlfriend long enough for me to know that she has little control over negative emotions.
But she knows she can’t blow up on me the way she would like. She’s too scared. So, she needs help. Who will come to her aid?
I can see her through the window of the classroom, pacing in circles. She’s waiting on something. My fingers clench. No, she’s waiting on someone.
I watch, barely breathing. Could she be so brazen? Another figure appears, hurrying down the hallway. The tension coiled in my body springs me forward, almost revealing my hiding place.
Lucian appears, a worried look on his face. He scans the area as he enters. That’s when I step out of my hiding place—we make eye contact. The lad’s caught between helping Eden and trying to hurt me.
Pathetic.
I don’t stay to watch what happens next, because I already know.
Eden will cry. Lucian will comfort her with false hope that he can help her—that he can take me down. Nothing that happens in that classroom will change a thing.
Well, it will change one thing.
Eden won’t have the chance to do something like this again.