1.
C ONSTANCE
“How pissed is my father right now?”
Ciro just cut his eyes in my direction before he leaned his head back and closed them. Avita and Shoshana, my newest guards Dad had recruited straight out of the military and who had no connections to the family business, laughed at his reaction but didn’t answer my question.
My friend, Matteo Russo, who also happened to be one of my father’s business associates , didn’t have any qualms about telling the truth and getting right in the middle of my business, though.
But when he opened his mouth to tell me how upset my father was, how horrible I was to take off like I had, and probably a myriad of other things I’d done wrong, his girlfriend Bella backhanded him in the gut so hard that he grunted out a loud “oof” and shut his mouth again.
“I would describe his mood as hesitant and cautious because he’s worried for your safety, but he’s also proud because you're so loyal to the men you love,” Bella said cheerfully.
Ciro snorted, but Matteo wasn’t nearly as good at hiding his feelings and laughed out loud before he said, “Yeah. That’s it.”
“Bex said she’d talk to him again and that he’s really starting to recognize that you’re an adult who can make her own decisions.”
Again, Matteo burst out laughing and didn’t seem to care when Bella glared at him. With his voice dripping with sarcasm, he said, “Because the children in our way of life always get a chance to do that.”
“You know he wasn’t about to marry me off to some associate, Matteo. He’d never do that.”
“You keep pissing him off, and he just might,” Matteo threatened.
Ciro seemed to agree and chuckled, so I threw the neck pillow that I’d been using as an armrest at him. “I thought you were supposed to be loyal to me, Ciro!”
He caught the pillow and then, just to be an ass, adjusted it to support his neck before he closed his eyes and said, “Fire me. At least then I’ll get to stay home, where things are normal.”
“Colorado is perfectly normal,” I said in exasperation. “As a matter of fact, it’s beautiful! We’ll be in the mountains where the air is clear and . . .”
“The first time you get an urge for takeout at three in the morning and can’t find a single place to deliver, I’m going to remind you of just how normal Colorado is.”
“Seeing as how you consider that something important tells me that you haven’t traveled very far away from the city,” Bella said before I could reply. “I can’t even count the number of times Matteo has acted like something is completely normal when it really isn’t.”
Ciro laughed before he said, “Matteo wouldn’t know normal if it hit him in the nuts.”
“I’m sitting right here,” Matteo grumbled.
Avi ignored him and continued, “It’s going to be quite a challenge for you to get used to life outside the bubble you’ve been living in, Stan, but I think you’re up for it.”
“I haven’t been living in a bubble!”
Shoshana giggled before she said, “You live in the penthouse suite of one of the most expensive hotels in New York City, where a staff of hundreds is at your beck and call. You’ve never driven a car or shopped for your own groceries . . .”
“Yes, I have! You forget that we were living outside of the Castello in a nice little house close to the college before the guys got shot.”
“It was a five-bedroom, four-bath apartment in a building your father owns,” Ciro reminded me.
“But I went grocery shopping with Park and Sully all the time.”
“Okay, that’s a point in your favor. Now, how are you going to get around this new town you’re so enamored with?”
“I assume the two of you can drive,” I said without thinking.
Everyone burst into laughter until finally Avi said, “Your personal bodyguards will also be your drivers when you want to do things like grocery shop or go to the mall.”
“I’m not saying I’m going to suddenly become an average American girl in my mid-twenties, but I’m not nearly as pampered as all of you seem to think!”
“You’re right. No matter how hard you try, you’re never going to become one, so why don’t you just relieve your family’s worries and stay in the city?”
“Says the man who travels all over the country . . . the world . . . with an entourage twice as big as mine. Why do you get to have adventures and I don’t?”
Matteo sighed before he said, “Considering that you think accompanying two men, one of whom seems to fucking hate me and the other of which can’t even remember how we met, halfway across the country to Colorado for their healthcare needs is an adventure tells me that you really need to get out more. ”
“As far as I’m concerned, moving anywhere outside of the city is an adventure.
I’m going to be in a town where no one knows or cares about my father or expects me to be wearing the latest fashion or hanging out with the other pampered little assholes everyone seems to fawn over.
That’s an adventure to me. I’m going to meet new people, not just at the hospital where the guys will be, but everywhere I go. ”
“Are you going to go back to school?” Matteo asked.
“I will, but not next semester. I’d like to spend some time getting to know my surroundings and meet a few people around town before I dive back into my classes, but I definitely plan to finish my degree.”
“The answer to this question is going to cement the normality that you are striving for.” Matteo grinned before he asked, “How are you going to pay for this grand adventure?” When I frowned, he smiled and nodded before he said, “That’s what I thought.”
Our conversation flowed through a myriad of topics until almost everyone drifted off to sleep, but I was too excited to rest. Instead, I pulled out my laptop and opened the spreadsheet where I kept my to-do lists and checked to see if there was anything I would be able to accomplish while we were in the air.
I couldn’t find anything, so I switched to the household tab that had a list of items and where they could be purchased.
I needed a house full of furniture, including beds for myself, my three guards, Park’s nurse, and a hospital bed for Sully to use when he got home, of course. I ignored the pain I felt when I remembered that Sully would most likely never step foot into my new home, even if Park was there.
I hadn’t seen them since getting them settled in at the hospital in Colorado Springs, where they’d be staying for the foreseeable future.
I was sure they were safe, considering the reputation of the hospital their doctors had recommended, so I went home to New York to finish packing and spend time with my brothers before I had to go.
Of course, I’d spent plenty of time with my dad and his girlfriend, too, and was happy that there hadn’t been a lot of arguments since my father seemed to have accepted that I wasn’t going to change my mind and stay.
I knew that his girlfriend had something to do with that, and I loved her just as much as my brothers did, which seemed to be just a fraction of how much my father loved Bex.
She and I had laughed about the differences in our situations - they were completely opposite.
Bex had been on her own for most of her life until she was adopted into a family that loved her like she was their own.
She’d come to New York with barely any money and had been scraping by to survive while she adjusted to life raising her younger brother.
And then met my father, and he moved her into his penthouse and finally admitted that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, which meant that she’d be surrounded by our family and extended family for the rest of her life, something that would take effort to adjust to.
On the other hand, I was going to transition from that large family to being out on my own. Although, I wouldn’t have the same problems with money that Bex had faced because I had a healthy trust fund that kept growing thanks to wise investments.
I’d never had to withdraw from my trust before, but the time had come because my father refused to fund what he called a “complete waste of fucking time.” It wasn’t that he didn’t feel responsible for Park and Sully, because he did.
They had been part of his crew for years, and they’d been injured while working for him.
He just felt that his responsibility was limited to making sure that they had the best care possible.
And that didn’t include me going anywhere with them, especially considering the toll that trying to care for them the last few months had affected me.
I looked out the window as I thought about how much trouble I’d had packing my clothes for the move. Half of the clothes I owned wouldn’t be necessary in Colorado, and the other half just hung on my frame because I’d lost weight and muscle mass since I hadn’t been working out.
Even though my dad and the rest of the family thought I was crazy for moving, I really was looking at it as an adventure.
I had always wanted to live outside the shadow of my family name, something my Aunt Frankie had done successfully for years until she held her elaborate wedding in New York city in front of an expansive array of people - from bikers to mafiosos, Frankie’s wedding had it all.
Including a hostage situation and a few dead bodies, but I wasn’t supposed to know about all of that.
There was a lot I wasn’t supposed to know about but was well aware of - like the fact that my dad was much different from my grandfather in almost every way, but his hands were nowhere near clean. Neither were the hands of his associates , a few of which I considered my closest friends.
Luca and Matteo Russo, the twins who led the Russo empire, along with Zach Campana, the leader of the Campana crime family, were some of my most trusted confidants.
I knew I could trust them with almost anything, but I kept in mind that if they disagreed with something that was happening in my life, they would more than likely tell my dad or my uncles.
The affair with Park and Sully had been one of those things, and we had kept it a very closely guarded secret for months before they were shot.
I would always wonder how things would have turned out if we’d been able to move forward in our relationship.
That was something I’d only be able to ponder because there was no way it was happening now.
I had faith that Park would heal physically even though it would take some time, but I didn’t think he’d ever be able to look at me like he had before. As for Sully, the doctors said that he would never be able to live alone and would never regain the memories of his life before the brain injury.
Occasionally, it seemed like he had what I considered an almost light-bulb moment because you could see recognition in his eyes for just a second, but he couldn’t seem to make the connection with his old memories.
It reminded me of those times when I was searching for a word, a word I knew , but I just couldn’t spit it out.
The word would be right on the tip of my tongue, but it wouldn’t come to me no matter how hard I tried.
Ciro had described it as that moment when you walk into a room and stand there trying to remember what you needed.
The world seemed to pause, or at least your entire body did, while your brain tried hopelessly to open the vault where that memory was stored, until you finally had no other choice but to give up.
Our life before the shooting was locked in that vault, and it broke my heart to think that Sully would never be able to open it up and remember how Park used to smile at him when he said something funny or the love in my eyes when he’d tease me about my nickname, Stan.
I shook off the thoughts of “what if” and “maybe someday” and tried to focus on the “right now” and the tasks on my agenda for the next few weeks.
A lot went into moving from one state to another, even when you were a spoiled mafia princess like me.