Chapter 2
Chapter Two
“I’m almost done, I promise.”
“Take your time.”
Jasper lifted his champagne glass and gave Ryan a small nod, the same quiet offer of support he’d given countless times before, the kind that said he’d be there whenever Ryan came back to him.
Ryan smiled, reaching for Jasper’s arm to give his bicep a gentle squeeze—their silent way of saying I love you when the words weren’t appreciated by others, like events where Don Royale was the center of attention.
And Don Royale had never shined brighter than he did tonight.
Ryan’s retirement party was the final celebration of the wrestling persona he’d spent the last decade building—Central Wrestling Authority’s most hated heel, the superstar whose loss the public mourned, the larger-than-life mafia don who’d felt like a third person in Jasper’s marriage for nearly ten years.
Jasper was spending his evening doing what he always did—smiling, toasting, playing the part of the proud partner tucked into the background. No one in the room would have guessed that inside, he was counting down the minutes until Don Royale hung up his boots for good.
“I’m going to miss this guy so much!” Jasper heard over the crowd. It was Micah, Ryan’s closest friend at CWA. “One last toast to the best CWA has to offer. I love you, man.”
The crowd murmured its agreements, a sea of champagne glasses raised towards the ceiling for the seventieth time, and then Ryan disappeared, swallowed up by well-wishers.
Jasper resigned himself to being alone the rest of the evening and found a tall table to lean against.
He knew this position well. Off to the side, drink in hand, close enough that Ryan could find him when he was done, but far enough away that nobody expected him to be part of the conversation.
This rhythm was nailed down years ago: Ryan stepped into a room, people fought for his attention, and Jasper… waited.
The first time it happened was right after Ryan signed with CWA.
They were at a sponsor dinner where Jasper knew no one, and Ryan disappeared into a crowd of veteran wrestlers and executives.
Jasper stayed put with a silent plea from Ryan and nursed the same drink for an hour.
Ryan finally returned with an apologetic smile, a squeeze to his arm, and a whisper under his breath saying, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.
Jasper had believed him. Of course he had.
But he still remembered how foreign it had felt to be excluded after so many years as a team, back when Ryan was on the indie circuit.
When they had no money and the promos couldn’t afford to pay anything beyond thirty dollars and cold-cut sandwiches—and that was only provided if Jasper replenished the first aid kit.
For better or worse, everything changed when Ryan signed with CWA.
Instead of weekend road trips, there were cross-country flights.
Days apart became weeks or months. Sex became virtual and hushed because of shared hotel rooms—exciting until it became exhausting.
Jasper adjusted to all of it, because that’s what loving Ryan had meant.
He'd held on for years, through each of Ryan’s farewell tours, and finally, they'd made it to the end.
And in just another hour, the rest of their lives would begin. Again.
The party trudged along exactly as Jasper expected.
Ryan moved through the room like a magnet, adding to his entourage and charming them with stories of his career.
Veteran wrestlers offered congratulations, younger wrestlers asked for advice, someone from the production crew told a story that made Ryan double over laughing.
Jasper made himself useful in the meantime—accepting congratulations on Ryan’s behalf, laughing at terrible jokes, answering the same questions he’d answered a hundred times before.
Aren’t you proud?
Are you excited?
What are you going to do next?
The last one was fun to think about. For years, the answer to that question was wait out another tour. Another contract. Another year of the Boston apartment. But now, there was nothing left to wait for. After tonight, Ryan no longer belonged to CWA. He was coming home to Jasper.
“Ryan promised there’s nothing on the horizon right now. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say that, so I’m pretty excited,” Jasper said to the woman who’d just joined him at his table. Ali, the wife of CWA’s CEO, he was pretty sure.
“Uh huh.” She smiled knowingly and patted his hand. “Well, retirement looks different for everyone.”
Before Jasper was able to respond, Ryan reappeared. “Hey, Ali,” he said, dropping a kiss to her cheek.
“We’re sure going to miss you around here. Don’t forget about us,” she said.
“Oh, I won’t,” Ryan said. “I have a lot of ideas.”
“I knew you would,” she said, grinning. She said her goodbyes and wandered off into the dwindling crowd.
“You ready to go?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. Are we staying here, or did you want to go home?”
“Home. I’ll come back next weekend to deal with everything. I’m ready for a few days of rest.”
“Well, you earned it.” Jasper took one last look at the ballroom and smiled, then followed Ryan to the car.
The drive from Boston to their house in Pelham was nearly two hours.
Ryan had managed the commute in the earlier days of his CWA career, but eventually he became popular enough that he spent more time in Boston than at home, so he got himself an apartment.
Jasper hadn’t minded that at first—he had a life and teaching career in Amherst, and a professional wrestling career wouldn’t last forever. Tonight was proof of that.
“You’re hyped,” Jasper said, buckling his seat belt. “Did they put something in your champagne?”
“I barely had any. I just can’t believe how much freedom I’m about to have. It feels weird, you know?”
Jasper didn’t really know, because his life wasn’t going to change much. In fact, he would have less freedom with Ryan being around more, but he got Ryan’s point, so he nodded anyway. “I can imagine.”
“I’ve actually been thinking a lot about it. What comes next, I mean,” Ryan said, settling into the driver’s seat. “I don’t think I’ll be able to just sit around.”
Jasper smiled faintly, pushing aside the apprehension tickling his chest. “No, that’s not your style.”
“Obviously the wrestling is done.”
That should have provided some relief. But Ryan didn’t look done, so instead, Jasper braced himself for what was coming.
“I talked to Garrett a bit tonight. Nothing serious, nothing set in stone. But he thinks I’d be good at commentary. Big events to start, but then who knows. Tours? Even just small ones.”
Jasper looked out the front windshield and bit the inside of his cheek. “That would be fun. You’d be good at that.”
Ryan’s smile spread wide, creasing the corners of his eyes. “Thanks. And yeah, it would. Or I don’t know, what if I took up photography?” He laughed. “I could do behind-the-scenes stuff, or tour stuff. Document the next big things at CWA. There are just so many options.”
Jasper nodded but felt his gut sink. Even in retirement, Ryan was searching for a way to stay close enough to the ring that he could still feel the lights on his skin.
“Coaching at the development level, even! They’ve got that program here in Boston.”
Jasper watched the dark road stretch in front of them as they pulled onto the freeway. Ryan could spend the next two hours listing off ideas of what to do in retirement, and Jasper couldn’t be sure a single one of them would take place in the town they called home.
“You’d be a great coach. I just thought… Well, I guess I hoped I might get to see you a little more.”
See him a little more, spend more time with him, redevelop a life that centered the two of them. They’d discussed getting goats to make goat cheese. They’d talked about getting a dog. They’d even thought about spending next summer in Maine, learning how to fish for lobster.
“Of course. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you,” Ryan said. “I already had Marina start looking for a resort down in the Dominican Republic. You’ve wanted to go there, right?”
“Yeah, someday.”
“Well, maybe someday is sooner than you think. I figure we can go soon, before you’re back at work for the school year. When we get home, I’ll dive in.”
As they continued chatting, Jasper felt every spark of hope he’d carried into Ryan’s retirement slowly dim.
He’d spent years looking at this moment as the finish line—the day the race finally ended, when Ryan came home for good.
But listening to him fill the car with new commitments and plans before they were even out of Boston city limits, Jasper realized they’d been running towards two completely different futures.
Ryan was retired, technically. But that didn’t mean he was coming home.